Setting: T2L
Genre: comedy, fluff, humor...
Pairing: BellDom, whatelse?
Disclaimer: it never happened Matthew and Dominic don't belong to me, but they do belong to each other, and the object that this story revolves around doesn't even exist! XD
Feedback: so please, please, please, let me, let me, let me, get what I want this time :)
Summary: eBay, nonsensical dreams and 66.7% of Muse are a lethal combination. With devastating consequences: this story.
Warning: I'm not a big fan of Kate Hudson for sure… you'll realize it even in this fic XD Nothing too exaggerated, anyway ;)
Thanks to : Vasu for being my Beta and for her great help 3
Matthew was returning from the airport.
Of course, he would miss his beloved Bing a lot, since Kate had taken him away with her for two weeks, but a feeling of complete freedom prevailed: no Hollywood celebrities to meet, no galas to attend, no paparazzi. Finally, two weeks to be only Matthew Bellamy and not Kate Hudson's fiancé, the label that all the gossip magazines preferred to apply to him.
Once back home, the frontman of Muse rushed to switch his trusty laptop on, but it wasn't in order to work on a song, or write some lyrics or think about a new concept for the next album. It wasn't even to plan a new set list, since they were on a break from touring.
None of those things.
There was an object that the singer had put for sale at an online auction on eBay- the site everyone seemed to be raving about. He wanted to test its real efficacy, which was why he had subscribed (Anonymously. Of course!).
Matthew had started from the lowest amount, choosing a penny and then, after four days, he wanted to control how things were going.
-I wonder if that stupid tool has reached at least one pound.- Matthew mused, as he was logging in.
As soon as he managed to focus on the screen, he thanked his lucky stars that he wasn't drinking anything at that time, because he would have ended up spitting it out.
"Fifteen pounds. Fifteen bloody pounds! And thirty offers... for this? " he whispered in awe, opening a drawer to extract the object in question, something that, according to what he had seen, Matt would have gladly gotten rid of earlier.
"I don't think that Dom had shelled out more than ten dollars to buy it... and now people want it for fifteen pounds. And there are still more than four hours before the auction is over. But what's so special about you, stupid thing?" Matthew thought aloud, turning the bizarre bullet shaped lighter over in his hands.
-Can there be a more absurd and useless gadget?-he kept asking himself, without pausing to think for a moment of a certain English rock band who included Christmas decorations, coaster sets and even tea towels in their merchandise!
Maybe it's already easy to guess, but the gadget that the pianist kept turning in his hands- lifting it's lid to switch the flame on and off- came from the merchandise of a band that Matthew didn't exactly love at all. Unlike Dominic, who after all was the one who had chosen them as their supporter at one of the two epic concerts at Wembley.
In fact back in the days when Muse was My Chemical Romance's opening act during the tour in USA, Dom had bought tons of their merch. Remembering to get something for his best friend too.
And, of course, when he had opened that gift, Matthew hadn't been able to express his disgust, not with Dom looking at him like that. Grey eyes shining with satisfaction and pleasure.
Over the years no matter how many mental notes Matt had made to get rid of it and how many lies he had told Dom to justify the absence of that object among the most exhibited of the pianist's possessions, there was always something that happened regularly and sabotaged his previous plans, so after more than six years that bizarre object still wandered among Matt's odds and ends, and, for the record, he saw it again every time he moved from a house to another.
That's why eBay seemed to be the best solution to Matthew: he wouldn't have brutally thrown the lighter in the garbage, but he would have made another person happy, someone who would have treated that gadget with much more care than he had done, not that it would take a lot to overcome Matthew in that respect.
There wasn't much time left, just four hours, before proclaiming the winner of that prize.
(in the meantime)
Things were always like this.
Dominic loved the first days of break after a tour, happy to be able to enjoy a little relax and have more time for all his interests. But that phase lasted a short while, then the boredom set in, mixed with apathy. The programs or movies on TV became all the same, there seemed to be no catchy songs that was going at the radio, the food had always the same taste and even playing his drums did not give him the same thrill anymore . It must be said , the main reason of all Dom's sudden loss of enthusiasm for life was in Los Angeles at that moment, thousands and thousands of miles away from him. It was not just the physical distance separating them , but also the time zones: in London, it was almost six o'clock in the evening, which meant that in Los Angeles it was just ten o' clock in the morning and, knowing how much Matthew loved long, lazy kips, probably he could have been still in his bed.
-In his bed with Kate- the drummer pointed out to himself, with self-defeating attitude.
Sure, he could find an excuse and catch the first flight to America to visit his band mate as well as life-mate .
But... what for? After all that time Kate had begun to get the hang of the real relationship between him and Matt- perhaps because of certain things about the two British musicians that she found on the Internet, the chatter among some fans, some fan-art or, and this was even more worrying, some photos that were not photoshopped at all, where those two stared at each other like so much more than just friends; the American actress had put herself on the defensive and in the unlikely event that the drummer knocked at her house, even though he had professional reason to spend time with the singer, she treated them as two criminals under surveillance .
To Matthew that was a very exciting thing and he saw it as a challenge to be able to isolate with Dominic, a challenge that very often, thanks to his Machiavellian strategies , he could easily win.
Dom, instead, had the horrible feeling of having been thrown right into the book Matt loved so much. Enough to base an album on it.
The point is that it wasn't funny at all, and certainly not enjoyable. It was not worth his efforts.
However, every time he saw that cutie-pie named Bingham he realised why it was right for Matthew to remain where he had chosen to stay.
After all, even Dominic himself was crazy for that adorable baby with the almost always grumpy expressions. And he had given him a set of mini- drumsticks and a SpiderMan T-shirt, so he was quickly becoming Bing's favorite uncle.
But it was useless to think about it, Dom would have not seen Bing that time and especially he wouldn't have seen Matthew.
There was still something that could give Dom some joy, no matter how ephemeral, and this was shopping.
That day, however, London had its glacially hostile temperatures and the thought of leaving the comfort of his home, so nice and warm, wasn't exactly in the list of Dom's desires. Undisclosed or otherwise.
-Thank God for online shopping!- he mused , switching his pc on.
After 20 minutes, having bought a sufficient quantity of shirts and T-shirts with the weirdest patterns and yet another one of his favorite(leopard-printed) belts, just to make sure he never ever lacked them, Dominic wasn't not yet satisfied. He decided to take a trip to eBay too, browsing among the accessories of the bands.
He started with Muse, but the amount of pages that appeared before his eyes, filled with any kind of item, made the blond give in at the end of the third page .
Then, only because he was curious , he made a research for his other band, but he was a bit upset when he found out that there was nothing except a few copies of the CD by Vicky Cryer offered for sale .
He went on , peering between some of his favorite bands, but when he arrived to My Chemical Romance's stuff, something that stood right at the top of the first page caught his utter attention .
-Bloody hell ! That lighter is identical to the one that I gave Matt a few years ago. I still remember how sad he was when he lost it!-Dom gasped, clicking to view the details. "Item location: Los Angeles." Dominic read aloud , giving out a nervous laugh. Sometimes fate loved making fun of that poor, dear guy . "Ships to: worldwide." he continued reading, relieved.
Deep within his heart, Dominic was already grateful to that seller with an unpronounceable username .
What alarmed him a little more was the fact that he was not the only person interested in buying of that object by then quite unique . The auction had already received thirty-six offers, coming to eighteen pounds and more than three and a quarter hours were still left.
-That item must be mine, no bloody matter what!- the blond promised himself, and then he gasped in distress.
That evening he had already planned a dinner at his house, with some of his friends, which meant being around people, which in turn meant that he could not isolate himself to go to his computer, which ultimately meant not being able to check the development of that very important auction.
Unless he...
Dominic could not stop congratulating himself.
Downloading the eBay app on his iPhone had been a winning move, so in this way he could draw out his mobile phone with nonchalance and pretend to be busy texting someone. "Hey, Dom, give a break to all your lovers, you're nothing but a womanizer! " one of his old friends quipped cheerfully.
"You know me, buddy, don't you?" the percussionist shrugged, smiling , as he placed the phone back in his pocket.
He was doing very well, he was behaving like a perfect host and no one suspected anything. It did make a dent on that persona but he had to pretend that he needed the bathroom when it came the time came: it was 10:03 p.m. , the auction would have expired after only two more minutes.
Dom chose not to look at the increase in the number of offers, but in the remaining twenty seconds, with typical English aplomb , he just placed his bid, something that would have discouraged all other participants, because there were only seven seconds to the end. 7,6,5,4,3,2,1 ..
"Congratulations! You won this auction!" Dom read, triumphantly , paying immediately and returning to his friends to enjoy the rest of the evening.
Matthew double-checked his watch: 2:07 p.m., which meant that the auction was already over.
He returned to his PC, eagerly, but this time he had bad luck because he was drinking and when he arrived at the page with the final result of the auction, the singer ended up choking on his milk-shake .
"Stupid drink ! " He cursed, recovering, throwing away the plastic glass and staring at the screen, dumbfounded .
-Bloody hell! One hundred pounds for that bloody piece of junk? I do not believe it . Who is the idiot who is willing to pay so much for this thing?- he asked himself.
Obviously, this was not the message that he wrote to his rather reckless buyers, which happened to be a some LondonGuy5.
The dinner was almost coming to an end, right then they had even devoured the dessert. Only for good measure, Dom checked the e-mail with his iPhone which was a wise move because he had already received a message from his seller.
"Hello, thank you for your purchase. I could not believe it when I saw the amount that you've offered for my item. Just let me know if you have any shipping preferences."/I
Dom thought about that, as a matter of fact it was not prudent to request delivery directly to his home, both to protect his privacy and because, except for that day, he was almost never home.
He remembered the perfect place to have the purchase delivered, preparing to call the managers of the pub, his good friends, since he was a regular customer.
(in the meantime)
"Hello , thank you for asking. You know, for a thousand and one reasons, I'd prefer to avoid my house, but here's a place where you can send me the package..." Matthew began to read.
-The Famous Cock ? I'm really starting to like this guy! In addition to the fact that he made me richer of a hundred pounds!-Matt chuckled , typing a quick "Consider it already done! :)"
Matt was happy to be able to do things like a normal person, such as dealing with such commissions and going to the post office.
Moreover, the office would be open for another two hours and it was a few blocks from his house, he would be a very reliable and punctual seller.
Kate would have insisted to charge a delivery boy or someone else to do that, well, maybe Kate would not even want him to waste time on nonsense activities such online auctions, but Kate was not there. This meant that Matt could do whatever he pleased.
- Matt Bellamy: 1. Hollywood: 0- he grinned, grabbing the lighter and leaving the house.
Of course, to be free to do whatever he wanted, did not mean only going to the post office. Once he was done with his 'mission', Matt made a quick calculation of the time: right then in London it was 1 o' clock in the morning and he knew that Dominic would have had guests that evening .
For the record, said guests were people who were also his own friends and he missed them a lot, but that was not the proper time to feel nostalgic.
"Matt, hello!" Dominic trilled happily, answering at the third ring .
"Am I bothering you? " Matthew hesitated , nervously drumming his long slender fingers against a wall
"You couldn't ever bother me." the gorgeous percussionist replied, in a tone that almost made Matt melt down like snowflakes in an ocean.
"No. I meant... your dinner, do you still have people there?"
"Nope, they had already all gone . And you? Did you momentarily escape from Kate's evil clutches?" the blond chuckled .
"Even more than momentarily. Kate is away for work, she left today with Bing to meet her agent who has to show her some offers... and something else she mentioned and I don't remember." Matt muttered , without giving any importance to it ."The point is that I have my house free for two weeks."
"But it's wonderful ! I'll get on the first flight I can find!" the drummer said joyfully but that was before he figured out that this could be the perfect opportunity to give Matt his gift.
"That will not be soon , at least it will take me three days..." he corrected himself .
"Why can't it be earlier than three days?" Matt frowned.
"Even four days, it depends..." Dominic replied impassively.
-On how fast the delivery is!-
"Are you really saying you cannot find any available flight that departs before?" Matthew asked him, quite insistently.
"Yeah, you know ... haven't you heard about the incredible economic recovery in the tourism sector ? Especially here in London, there is such a boom of tourists..." the blond began to babble, scrambling for an excuse.
"Dominic James Howard ! I don't believe a single, damn word of what you're bloody babbling. The truth is that you don't want to see me, fine, we will wait for tour to restart..." Matt pouted .
"No, Matthew, don't talk like this, not even for joke! I'm dying to see you, honey, I would leave right now if I could, but, you know... first I have to record a song with the boys!" Dom found a brilliant justification at the last moment.
"You and that stupid, damn other band!" the brunet pretended to be insulted, making the blond smile .
"Okay, then, but don't you waste too much time with them and try to put your succulent ass on the first flight that you can find in four days!
"Succulent ass? "Dom repeated, intrigued.
"Yes, but don't get too full of yourself, now. See ya soon?" Matt hung up.
Fortunately , the package arrived on time for real and, after having taken it from the pub at the third night, early in the morning, Dom was already on a flight to a city that he loved when it reunited him to his best friend and hated when it tore them apart: Los Angeles .
He arrived at Matt's house late in the morning, joyfully giving the pianist his precious gift. Pleasantly surprised, Matt unwrapped it impatiently, resorting to an acting worthy of an Oscar when he discovered the contents of the package. He had figured everything out.
"Oh, Dom, but... I don't know what to say! You've found it again, just... how? I do not really know how to thank you, baby!" he threw his arms around the drummer's neck, happily.
"I knew you'd be happy ! " Dom hugged him in response, stealing a little kiss from him.
Matt invited him into the house , putting that hated lighter on a shelf and taking a few snacks from the kitchen for guest. While waiting for him, after having placed his trolley on the floor, Dominic, wandering through the living room, was attracted by some sheets piled on a table, where he saw the prints of the notifications, the payments and the shipping docket of a certain item and everything suddenly became bitterly clear to the blond.
"Are you happy that I found another lighter like that?" the drummer smiled languidly at his lover, going to him and taking a sandwich from the tray. "So be careful not to lose it again... you, bloody eBay user with an unpronounceable name!" he snapped, slamming the sandwich back on the tray with contempt and then he walked away.
Matthew put the tray on a small table, in order to preserve it from a bad end, and followed the blond, preparing himself to face the inevitable.
"So you realized everything!"
"Yes. Now, at least, give me my hundred pounds back! And more importantly, what kind of username have you chosen?" Dominic questioned.
"I was undecided and I typed in random letters on the keyboard. And, anyway, gedxuvcgfgfv is not all that difficult to remember! " the other shrugged.
"I tend to forget that you're the one who can say the alphabet backwards." Dom shook his head , before he recalled the reason of his bad temper. "Hey, don't you dare change the subject!" he accused his best friend .
"What? But if it was you who asked me about my nickname!" Matt pointed out, puzzled, while he was considering whether it was a wise move to approach his beloved mate or not.
"Well, you're supposed to remind me that we were arguing!" the blond snapped, resuming the discussion , which took louder tones .
"Hey, if there's an angry person here, that should be me . Remember the message I sent you after the shipment? Well, you answered me 'I hope you're not so fast with everything', complete with a winking smiley! I mean, you've flirted with a perfect stranger!" Matthew accused the percussionist, showing him the printed sheet as a witness of his statement .
"Oh yeah, and you did not hesitate to answer immediately after 'Do you want to find that out?' followed by the same smiley!" Dom said, pointing to the paper.
"I just wanted to play your game!" Matthew defended himself.
"Bloody hell! And then you are the father with an exemplary life. I'm the single bloke who can do whatever he pleases and flirt with whomever he wants!" Dom asserted, tough .
"And do you even tell me this?" Matt snapped, before they both calmed down.
"The point is that I've never tried to get rid of anything that you gave to me." Dominic muttered, sounding saddened, after a few minutes of silence. At first Matt believed his words, mortified, then he processed that information better and his eyes fell on his Mac, already open, a mischievous grin lighting up his face.
"Oh. We can check that immediately!"he said with a challenge attitude, as he walked towards his computer. Dom followed him, confused. "And now it's just the two of us, LondonGuy5!" the brunet sneered, going to the eBay page .
"By the way, why 5?"
"'LondonGuy'was already taken, and at that time we were working on our fifth studio album." Dom explained. "Wait. What are you going to do?" he frowned.
"I just want to see if you are also a seller and what items you're selling..."
Panic-stricken, Dom had the most normal of all reactions, he simply lunged to Matt's lap top, putting down the lid. It was an instinctive reaction, but not too effective, because Dom had done nothing but put the pc on standby and Matthew reopened it in a heartbeat, reloading the page where it was- the link that led to the list of items offered for sale by LondonGuy5.
"Come on, what do you have to fear?" the brunet asked him with a shrug, with fake indifference.
"Matteh, no, if you love me, do not click on that link!" the blond begged him. Matthew pulled him closer for a quick, but intense kiss. "I love you so much, Dommeh... " the singer murmured, just before clicking on the forbidden link.
"But apparently not enough!" he added ruthlessly. It took only seconds for the requested page to utterly load and the screen displayed a lot of objects, furnishings and gifts that were sadly familiar to the frontman.
"I can't believe that, Dom , you're even worse than me! The salt and pepper with the two aliens... you told me that you had broken them!" Matthew began his list of complains."The banana-shaped flask, the one you said you lost... "
"You're the last person who can talk to me about lost things!" Dom retorted.
"Touché." Matt admitted, right before sliding the cursor and making the most devastating discovery. "You're even selling the red, glittery bedspread! So you still have it, you told me that thieves had stolen it from your house!" the pianist whined, almost in tears.
"Bloody hell, Matt, I didn't think you were so gullible! So did you really buy the story that thieves steal bedspreads?" The older man tried to reason with his lover.
"Well, it is so beautiful, so yes, anyone could steal it!" the younger one pouted. "And then it was so nice to make love to you over there... I'd really like to do that again... " the singer confessed, melancholic . "Really? Well, after what you've just told me, I guess I cannot sell it anymore!" Dominic guaranteed , before Matthew pulled Dom to himself for a long and very passionate kiss .
"Hey, Matteh, do you know what would be real fun?" Dom said, parting from him "doing this to Kate, perhaps by selling those ridiculous clothes that she gave to you."
"No matter how much I hate those horrible clothes, you know that I can't do that." Matthew said seriously, but Dominic wasn't upset at all. "Well, I could always do that, using your account. And you know what? I bet the password is 'domdom'!" He proclaimed cockily.
Matthew chuckled. "Don't flatter yourself, baby. Do you really think that the world revolves around you?" the guitarist mocked, with all the nonchalance he could muster.
"Well, it would have been nice . " Dom protested, grieving a little, before going to the bathroom to freshen up.
As soon as he walked out of sight, Matthew ran back to his Mac.
- I absolutely have to change that damn password while I'm still in time! -
THE END
In essence , a few months ago, I dreamed of finding on eBay that notorious lighter MCR ( why? Whoever understand my subconscious is a genius XD) and I can't recall if I ended to buy it or not, but I remember that , I do not know how, I happened to find out that the seller was just Matthew ... and here .. my crazy , very crazy mind did the rest.
I'm not okay. (quoting just MCR ahahah)
I should stop spending so much time on eBay.
I should stop writing about those two.
Or simply , I should stop writing XD
But I hope I made you smile. ;)
Bye .