There will be four chapters to this one, I hope you will enjoy it.

I still don't own the OC.

LN

THURSDAY

Ryan stared at the computer screen, the blank document on it. His eyes darted back to the paper lying on the table beside him. He reached for it and read it again.

He'd been trying to do this assignment every night this week, but every night he'd given up. Now he had to, it was due tomorrow.

..memories from your early childhood..

They'd got to be kidding, right? He shook his head as 'memories from his early childhood' threatened to invade his mind. He'd been trying so hard to leave his past behind, and now they came throwing this in his face?

He could make something up, couldn't he? ..based on true memories.. But nobody would ever know.. Ryan sighed. The Cohens would know. And he didn't want to disappoint them. The same reason he couldn't just skip it. Again his head was invaded by sensations of the past and this time he lowered his shields, letting them in.

He quietly moved over to the bed, lying down while the thoughts and feelings he'd kept buried the past moths came back to life. If he were to write that damned assignment – and he were; he could not let the Cohens down – he needed to dig through this, relive it and find something to write about.

The flashbacks came in waves, and between them he was surprised how well he'd done, forgetting his past. Well not exactly forgetting, because he'd always remembered, but disregarding it.

Seth knocked on the pool house door, and let himself in. "Hey, man, dinner's ready. If I were to-" he fell silent and took a closer look.

Ryan lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling was nothing that normally would have made Seth look twice or stopped his rambling, this time there was something that made him do both.

"You okay?" he asked hesitantly.

Ryan tried to focus, and his eyes met Seth's. He forced himself to hold on to the brown eyes looking into his, anchoring him in reality. Staring into them he could drag himself away from the ocean of feelings and memories that were threatening to drown him. The moment he felt the ground under his feet he averted his eyes, and staggered the last few steps alone.

"Yeah, I'm okay." he said, a moment later.

Seth was pale, he didn't know what had happened, but the way Ryan's eyes had been empty scared him. Then Ryan had come back into them, and he had looked away. Like Ryan always did. He wondered where Ryan had been those long seconds his eyes had been allowed to meet Seth's.

"You sure?" he asked, but when Ryan shrugged he decided to let it go. For now. "Okay, so dinner is ready."

Ryan still looked a little dizzy, but he nodded and got up from the bed. "Let's go man." he said, waiting for Seth to get going.

Seth didn't move right away, he stood blocking the door and trying to catch Ryan's eye, but when he couldn't, he turned and walked into the house.

Ryan followed him, still hearing the echoes of waves breaking, bones breaking, promises breaking. He shook his head and went into the kitchen.

During dinner he said little, listening to the friendly banter of the Cohen's. They didn't seem to notice him being slightly distant, except Seth gave him funny looks from time to time, supposedly where he normally would have had a comment. Sandy didn't seem to notice, nor did Kirsten until she had to ask him three times if he wanted a second helping.

"Ryan!" she almost shouted.

With a start his head shot up and he saw all three of them staring at him. He lowered his head again. "Sorry." he mumbled.

"Are you okay?" Kirsten asked, concerned.

He nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. Just.. distracted. I have this assignment I need to finish. I was thinking about that. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Ryan. But are you sure that's it? You look a little pale."

"No, I'm fine." He looked up. "Actually, may I be excused? I really need to get started on that assignment, it's due tomorrow."

Kristen glanced at Sandy, but then nodded. Ryan thanked for the food, got up and left for the pool house, putting his things in the dishwasher on the way. The three Cohens sat in silence, watching him depart.

"Something's up." Sandy finally said. "Ryan never leaves assignments until the last day."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Actually Dad, it happens. Occasionally. But yeah, you're right. Something's up. I'll go talk to him."

When Seth stepped into the pool house Ryan was sitting by the computer, staring at the still blank document. He turned towards Seth.

"Ah, you actually do have an assignment to write? And here I was thinking it was a deterrence strategy."

Ryan shrugged, smiling slightly.

"I wanted to talk to you.." Seth said, hesitantly. "About earlier. Man, you really-"

Ryan sighed. He should have known, really. "Can we do this later?" he interrupted, barely concealing his sudden annoyance. "I really need to finish this.." he gestured towards the screen.

"Sure man, whatever." Seth tried not to feel hurt, Ryan was Ryan, after all – as in non-talkative. Turning towards the door he said "Just know that there are three Cohens inside, ready to listen if you feel the need to talk."

Ryan already regretted his outburst, but Seth was gone before he could say something. He sighed again, but turned back towards the screen. The thought of the Cohens inside, worrying about him, was oddly comforting. They noticed something was on his mind, and they wanted to know what.. not because hey were nosy, but because they wanted to help him. They cared. About him.

He realized something.He made a decision, andstarted to write.