And Then There were Less
Chapter 1
Steve came in the front door from the freezing cold. He closed the door behind him, put all of his winter wear away, and walked towards the family sitting on the couch who were all watching "Million Dollar Money drop", except Francine, who was reading a book. Steve sat between his parents. Jeff sat by Hayley. Klaus was watching on the endtable in his bowl. The couple on the TV just lost $800,000. The woman was comforting the man over the sudden loss.
"That was stupid." Stan said. The family looked at him. "That was correct! They should've kept the $800,000; this is bogus!"
"Ooh!" Roger squealed. "Fox made a mistake again!" He then laughed. "Poor, poor, Fox being unreliable at times."
"I just got a letter!" Steve blurted out. The family all looked at him; Francine took her eyes of her book to look at her son.
"Oh gosh!" Klaus groaned. "I hope you don't start singing "We just got a letter" from Blue's clues." Roger looked at the fish.
"You mean like this," He then stood up on the couch and started to sing happily. "We just got a letter, we just a letter, we just got a letter; I wonder who's it from?"
"Yes!" Klaus yelled at him. "That song; now shut up and let the boy read!"
"Okay!" Roger sat down and waited for Steve to read the letter. Steve opened the envelope, and pulled out the letter.
"Read it honey!" Francine encouraged his son. "Let's see what it says." Steve cleared his throat, and read out loud.
"It says "Dear Mr. Stan Smith: I am pleased to announce that you and up to three guests of your choosing are cordially invited to spend the weekend at my winter lodge in the Northern Mountains of Kanto. You will meet and greet characters from other shows and networks, and extend friendships across cartoon lines. The party will commence at five O'clock P.M. on Friday the twenty seventh and end around noon on Sunday the twenty ninth. Please RSVP if you can make it, as well as informing us of any guests you may be bringing, any dietary information, or anything else that will make your stay more comfortable. Food, rooms, and entertainment will be provided.
Sincerely yours, Count Pichu Von Pichu."
"I want to come!" Klaus blurted out. They all looked at him. "I never get invited for anything so this will be a great opportunity for me. So can I come, bitte?"
"That depends." Roger said. "Does bitte mean please?" Klaus looked annoyed with him.
"YES!"
"Whoa; I was just asking. No need to be snippy about it. Anyways, yes, yes you can because you said bitte."
"I'll come too." Stan volunteered. "The letter's to ME! And besides, manson parties are always good crime scenes. You never know when a crime is committed."
"Can I come?" Steve asked.
"No!" Francine said. "You have a lot of homework to do young man." Steve looked disappointed.
"Aw man, Homework ruins everything!" His arms were crossed.
"And I'll stay here too," Hayley said. She touched her husband's hand and looked into his eyes. Jeff did the same to her. "To connect with my newly wed."
"And I'll do the same to you." Jeff said back. They then started kissing.
"That's it!" Roger decided, going to Stan. "I'll come, too; so come on Stan, let's get going! Hurry; let's go before they make out again. We're burning daylight out here; let's move it!"
"I'll stay here so I can watch over these three." Francine said. "They're need a parent figure to watch them like a hawk."
"You got that right honey!" Stan agreed.
"Mom!" Hayley said, embarrassed. "He's my husband now; I can do whatever I want."
"Of course you can honey. Steve needs me too."
"Mom!" Steve complained. "I'm not a baby anymore!"
"We just need to pack our stuff and leave." Stan said.
"Ooh!" Klaus cried. "Don't forget to pack my violin!"
"You have a violin?" Roger asked.
"Yes, I may need it to play "One is the Loneliest Number."
"You have a sad life."
"Yeah, I know."
A few weeks later, they packed all their bags and donned their winter wear (Klaus just wore a hat and scarf), they said their goodbyes, got in the car, and Stan, Roger, and Klaus drove to Count Pichu's winter lodge. Steve asked again, but he again, had a lot of homework.
When they arrived, the sun had already set. They saw many cartoons there, all in their winter wear. There were Phineas, Isabella, Perry (who got dropped off by Phineas's mom), Dudley Puppy, Kitty Katswell, Grimer, Pichu, Charmander, Poof, Cosmo, Wanda, Timmy Turner, SpongeBob, Patrick, Kirby, Tiff, and Tuff. Linda had the front seat window down so she could talk to her son and friend (Phineas feels embarrassed whenever his mom calls Isabella his girlfriend. He informs her that she's just a friend, who so happens to be a girl).
"Are you kids sure you'll be all right on your own?" Linda asked Phineas and Isabella. "I'd feel much better if I knew more about these people at this party you got an invitation to."
"Relax, Mom." Phineas reassured his mother. "Like the invitation said, this party is about extending friendships over the cartoon lines. I for one am excited to meet all the people from the different cartoon shows."
"And don't worry Ms. Flynn-Fletcher," Isabella said. She then clung onto Phinea's sleeve. "I'll be with Phineas; he'll protect me."
"Right." Phineas agreed, and then looked back at his mom. "You'd better get going, Mom. It's starting to snow. The roads will be slick on the drive back to town."
"The weatherman said it would only snow a little this weekend." Linda commented, looking up with concern at the dark clouds overhead. "I hope he's right. Good luck, you two."
"You mean you THREE!" Phineas added, holding up Perry. "We couldn't very well leave Perry home alone, and thankfully Count Pichu said Perry could stay here with us."
"You remember to thank him." Linda said. "It's rare a party host allows their guests to bring along pets. Anyway, have a good weekend. I'll pick you up on Sunday." Linda closed the window. Phineas and Isabella waved as Linda drove off down the winding mountain road. Phineas then put Perry back on the ground.
The lodge was more like a mansion nestled on the snowy mountain slope. The house was like a large three-floor box with two wings extending on either side. Large plate windows looked out at the icy drive and the gently drifting snowflakes falling from the sky. Rounded steps led up to the balconied terrace with a roof supported by four pillars.
Stan parked the car in a parking space, and stopped the engine. He then got out with Roger and Klaus (with Stan's assistance, he was in his cup). They closed the door behind them, and went to wait with the other cartoons.
"Phineas," Isabella told him. Phineas turned to her. "Thank you for inviting me to hang out with you for the whole weekend. I really appriciate it."
"No problem Isabella." Phineas explained. "I wish Ferb was here. He would've loved this! But, we're glad that you are here too, right Perry?" He looked at his pet. Perry just chattered. He petted him.
"Knew you'd agree with me boy; knew you would. You're a good boy, aren't you Perry?" Perry just chattered again as he was being petted.
"This will be so awesome!" Dudley said excitedly, who could barely sit still. "I can't wait to go in; I can't wait!" He began panting.
"Control yourself Dudley." Kitty reminded her partner. "Remember what the Chief said? Crime can happen anywhere at anytime."
"Yeah," Dudley agreed. "But the Chief also said to have fun. And that is what this party is for, to have fun! So lighten up Kitty, there won't be any crimes with so many cartoons around." Kitty smiled.
"I hope you're right. But, let's not get our guards down."
"Oh relax Kitty; nothing's going to happen, just have fun!"
"I cam't waits to see cousims!" Pichu told Grimer and Charmander. "He be so surprizeded to sees me!"
"Yeah!" Grimer added. "Especially because he didn't invite you."
"I'm wondering why he invited us." Charmander asked. "If this party is so he can meet cartoons from other shows, we're from the same cartoon as he is, so why'd we get an invitation? We've only met him a couple of times before."
"Probably because if he was the only Pokemon here, he'd feel outnumbered." Grimer reasoned. "And he doesn't get away from work too often, so he might consider us closer than we think."
"And he and I is family!" Pichu added. "You can't get closer than family!"
"Although every time you get close to your cousin, he seems to develop a sudden headache." Charmander replied. "You have to be on your best behavior here and not get into any mischief. We're representing Pokemon everywhere and we want to make a good impression."
"No fears there!" Pichu assured his friends. "I promised both my cousims and my boss that I would be a Poke-amblastador!"
"Poke-amblast-a-what?" Charmander questioned.
"He means Poke-ambassador." Grimer explained. "I just hope they serve good quality grub here. Like week-old sun-rotted garbage, none of that cheap three-day-old trash."
"Grimer, you have to be a Poke-ambassador, too!" Charmander exclaimed. "So you can't do any gross Grimer stuff!"
"Awww…" Grimer moaned.
Patrick whispered to SpongeBob.
"Psst SpongeBob!" He whispered. SpongeBob looked at him. "Which Count are we meeting? Count Dracula or the Count from Sesame Street?"
"Like Barney." Klaus spoke. "That Count's laugh creeps me out." He then shivered at the thought. Roger looked at him.
"A lot of stuff freaks you out." Roger said. "Stan's dancing, Barney, Elmo, spiders, and now the Count from Sesame Street." He then got an idea, and rubbed his hands together while looking evil. "You're giving me ideas Klaus!"
"Don't even think about it!" Roger went back to normal.
SpongeBob was about to answer Patrick's question when the doors opened. A Smoochum with red cat-eyed glasses and a business suit stepped out.
"Greetings." Ms. Gummle spoke to the group. "I am Ms. Janet Gummle, Count Pichu's personal assistant, and I will be managing the party this evening. The count is so pleased that you could all attend."
"Hi Janet!" Pichu waved excitedly at Ms. Gummle, who groaned quietly and rubbed her head.
"Oh, it's going to be a long weekend." She said to herself. Aloud she said: "Now, if you would please all follow me into the lodge, the Count would like to say a few words to you before the party starts."
"Where's cosims?" Pichu wanted to know. He then began to cry. "Is he alls rights?"
"He's waiting inside." Ms. Gummle answered coldly. Pichu cheered up.
When they were all in, the doors closed behind them. They looked at the décor all around them. There was a grand staircase leading up to a second-floor mezzanine, statues and golden frame pictures of Count Pichu. A glittering crystal chandelier hung overhead. They were in the main hall.
"Wow!" SpongeBob observed. "Count Pichu sure is rich. Look at all of this stuff! It must've cost him a fortune! Mr. Krabs sure will be jealous."
"Please wipe your feet and hand your coats and luggage to the attendants. They will be stored safely for you." Ms. Gummle directed. "Then follow me into the lounge. If you need a restroom, there is one located to the left of the stairs." The cartoons got their stuff off, but held on to them until the servants came to get them.
"Do I gotta wipe my feet clean?" Grimer asked. "First of all, I don't exactly have feet. Secondly, if I got clean, there'd be nothing left!"
"Just… try not to get your grime everywhere." Ms. Gummle sniffed.
"Can do." Grimer exclaimed cheerfully, taking off his scarf and knit cap, which were completely soaked with sludge.
"So where are these attendants?" Timmy asked, looking around to see who he was supposed to give his coat and hat to.
"Right here, strange buck-toothed human child." Skipper said coolly as he and his team entered from a side room. All four of them were wearing bowties.
"What are you four doing here?" Wanda asked in surprise. "Are you guests, too?"
"Incorrect, miss. Our team doesn't take breaks for parties." Skipper replied. "We're here on a funds-acquisition assignment!" All of the cartoons took off their winter gear, and handed them to the penguins who grabbed them.
"What he means is, we were hired by Ms. Gummle to do all the cooking and cleaning and serving at this party because we're broke." Private explained, recoiling in disgust a bit as Grimer handed him his winter wear.
"The way I said it made it sound more awesome." Skipper snapped. "It's degrading to have this fine fighting unit reduced to washing dishes and waiting on tables."
"Even a top secret animal organization needs a budget, Skipper." Kowalski added. "We need some money to order the lab equipment and weapons we need, and we can't just take it from the zoo, since that would be stealing."
"I'm aware of that, Kowalski." Skipper responded before turning back to the group. "We're also the security here, so all of you had better play nice and not get into any fights, or you'll have to answer to us." He and Rico went upstairs to put all the winter stuff away in the appropriate rooms. Kowalski and Private went to the kitchen to get things ready.
"SpongeBob." Patrick whispered to his friend. "Do you think Count Pichu knows how to count; do you think he can teach me?" SpongeBob laughed.
"Patrick, you silly sea star! I bet he knows how to count, but that isn't why he's called the Count." Patrick looked at SpongeBob, confused.
"It's not?" SpongeBob shook his head.
"Nope! See, he's called the Count because…well, I'm not really sure."
"Actually, he's not really a count." Grimer replied. "His real name is Gerald Pikawizz. He gave himself the title after he became a billionaire. He started this huge international corporation called Starr Corp."
"After he became rich, he wanted to distance himself from his family and his kind." Charmander continued, glancing at Pichu, who was chasing his tail. "Most people think all Pokemon are the kind who only say their names and battle all day, so most humans don't accept them in the world of business. Count Pichu thought that by giving himself a fancy title, humans he interacted with in the business world would be more accepting of him."
"He's my cousim, my mommy's sister's son, and he's gots a whole lots of moneys!" Pichu announced gleefully, who got bored with his tail, and stood up after he'd fallen down. "Usually, when I visits him at his job-office, he gets all yell-y and tells me nots to bothers him at his work. But here it's a party, sos he cant's get mad at me!"
"Although you weren't technically invited." Charmander added. "Grimer invited you as one of his guests."
"He musta forgots my address." Pichu retorted poutily. "He forgets it all the times, just like his compooter keeps accidentally erasing my E-mails!" The cartoons went into the lounge to wait for their host.
The lounge had some glass-top tables, ferny houseplants, and a lot of sofas and chairs surrounding a large fireplace with a cozy fire already burning in it. Two foils, the kind of swords fencers used, hung crossed over the mantle.
"Ah, a nice warm fire!" Tuff commented as he and Kirby warmed themselves and the others claimed seats for themselves. "So, where is this count guy anyway?"
"COUSIMS!" Pichu shouted, everybody looked. Count Pichu had entered the room, Ms. Gummle beside him. He was wearing his dinner jacket, a monocle, and bow-tie. Pichu rushed up to hug him. Count Pichu patted his cousin's back.
"Greetings guests!" Count Pichu said. "And welcome to my lodge. I hope you enjoy it here. We're going to have quite an entertaining weekend. Talk to me, Ms. Gummle, or the staff we hired if you need any accommodation."
"Thank you for inviting us." Tiff said, bowing to him. "It is an honor to meet you." The cartoons looked confused, then did the same. Pichu released himself from his cousin.
"Please, please!" Count Pichu said, blushing. "I'm flattered, truly I am. You don't have to bow to me, oh who am I kidding? I like it. Do you see them bowing before me, Ms. Gummle? I love it; I simply love it!"
"Of course you do, sir." Gummle said. "Of course you do."
Count Pichu then looked at his assistant.
"Ms. Gummle," The Count told her. "Would you be so kind as to show our guests to their rooms?"
"Yes sir!" Ms. Gummle nodded. She then clapped her hands to get the cartoons' attention. The cartoons looked at her.
"Okay everybody, time to go to your rooms and unpack." They followed her upstairs. "All rooms are on floor three. There are only six rooms, so you'll all have to share, but I'm sure no one will object to the arrangements we made. We were going to have a meet and greet in the lounge, but due to scheduling, we had to move dinner up to eight, so please adjourn to the dining room as soon as you're settled in." Private and Kowalski came down and joined their friends in the kitchen. The Count sat on his couch by the fire.
"Isn't this great Kirby?" Tuff asked in their room. Tiff was unpacking her, and her brother's clothes, and putting them in drawers. She was just there to settle them in, and then she was going to go in Isabella and Kitty's toom. Phineas, with his sleeping bag and Perry, were going to share the same room with Kirby and Tuff.
"Poyo!" The pink star warrior cheerfully said.
"I know!" Tuff suggested. "Let's jump on our beds and mess them up!"
"Poyo!" Kirby quickly agreed. The two jumped on their own beds, messing them up. They were having fun, but Tiff was trying to prevent them.
"No!" She said. "Stop!" When it was no use, she finally shouted at the top of her lungs, "KNOCK IT OFF!" They stopped and looked at her. Tiff sighed in relief, and wiped her brow.
"That's better." She went to Kirby's bed, and started to make it. "Now, these beds don't belong to us, they're Count Pichu's, so we need to be gentle and kind to these beds." When done with Kirby's, she went to Tuff's next.
"Now Tuff, I hope you learn what I just said, and teach Kirby this valuable less…"
"PILLOW FIGHT!" Tuff hollered. Kirby agreed, and the pillows started flying.
"Tuff, Kirby, no!" She tried to stop them, but it was no use. She gave up, and sighed. "Why did I bring these two?" She was then hit by a pillow.
Tuff and Kirby stopped. Tiff looked at Tuff, her hand on the spot on her head where it hit. Tuff quickly pointed to Kirby!
"It was Kirby!" He lied.
"Poyo!" Kirby said cheerfully, not knowing what just happened. Tiff sighed again.
"DINNER TIME EVERYONE!" Ms. Gummle called from downstairs, ringing a bell. "Please adjourn to the dining room!" All of the cartoons emerged from their rooms, and started to go down.
Suddenly, two racecars driven by Timmy and Poof zoomed out, forcing the other cartoons to get out of the way. They were both strapped in, and both wearing helmets.
"Out of the way!" Timmy warned. "Two underage drivers coming through!"
"Poof, poof!" Poof said, honking his horn. "Beep, beep!" Timmy zoomed down the stairs, and Poof's car turned and crushed into the wall before the stairs. Poof cheered. "Poof, poof!"
Wanda flew to her baby. She unbuckled him, took off his helmet, picked him up, and held him close.
"Please note, never let a baby operate a vehicle."
"Or a ten-year-old!" Cosmo added who just noticed Timmy had crashed his car as well. He unbuckled, got out, and cheered. He took off his helmet.
"Did you see what I just did?"
"Yeah!" Stan said. "You just totaled your vehicle. You know, if you were actually out in the streets and you drove like that, you could've killed someone, and got arrested for reckless driving. This is why we get license people; so people know that we know how to drive properly!" Wanda then poofed away Timmy's and Poof's helmets. Cosmo joined her.
The cartoons then went to the dining room where a long table with silverware, lit candles, napkins, and glass plates were set neatly along it. They all sat down, the penguins brought their first course (which was salad, and chicken nuggets for the kids, Pichu, Kirby, and Cosmo) and placed it before them.
Perry sat under the table drinking and eating from his food bowls. Kirby looked at the wonderous food, just wanting to suck it all up.
"No Kirby!" Tiff scolded. "We need to wait!" Kirby looked down disappointed.
Count Pichu sat at the head, Ms. Gummle sat by him along with Grimer and Charmander. The Count then raised his cup of sparkling cranberry juice. The cartoons did the same.
"Cartoons," He began. "I am delighted for all of you to come and feast with Ms. Gummle and me tonight."
"Ambs mes!" Pichu added.
"And Pichu." Pichu cheered to himself. "So it is with great pleasure that each of us offer each other a toast." The cartoons toasted their drinks.
"Toast?" Patrick wondered out loud. "I don't see anyone offering toast; they're just clinking their glasses together." SpongeBob shushed him.
"Let all of us get to know each other, which is why I invited you all in the first place. And now, let's eat." With that, all of the cartoons started eating, drinking, and talking at once.
"Excuse me!" Stan said. "I have to use the restroom." He took off his napkin, put it on the table, and asked Count Pichu if he could be excused. He was excused, so he went to the bathroom. The penguins were in the kitchen preparing the next course.
"So Phineas," SpongeBob said. Phineas looked at him. "Where's Ferb? He's missing out!"
"He's in London with our dad to visit our grandparents over there over winter break." Phineas answered. "Or as he calls it 'winter holiday'."
"Oh, I see." The two resumed eating.
"Poof!" Poof's mom scolded him as soon as she saw her baby playing with his chicken nuggets, pretending they were rockets. He pretended they were shooting each other with lasers. He added his own sound effects. "Stop playing with your food; who gave you that idea?"
She then heard shooting, and turned to her husband and godchild who were doing the same thing Poof was with their chicken nuggets. Wanda sighed meekly to herself.
"Why do I even bother?" Cosmo and Timmy saw Wanda's glare, stopped, and ate as well as Poof. Wanda did the same when she was sure they had ceased. Talk continued throughout the meal.
When he was done minutes later, Roger excused himself.
"Hmmm, I wonder what's taking Stan so long. I'm going to see if he's all right." He walked towards the bathroom.
Moments later, all the cartoons heard Roger's scream. They all got up, took off their napkins, and went towards the scream.
When they all got there they all looked, and gasped. There, lying on the cement floor of the bathroom was Stan, eyes closed.
"He's… dead!" The alien announced. All of the cartoons gasped again.