Katara's guilt
I don't own Avatar the last airbender
Aang and Katara were standing on the porch outside the theater after seeing the play.
It was a warm summer night. The crickets were singing, there was a slight breeze and the two kids stood there in an awkward silence while leaning on the railing. Finally Aang spoke
"Is it true? What she said in there?"
"What's true?"
"That you love me only as a brother"
"I didn't say that Aang. An actress said that"
"But is it true? When we kissed on the ship I thought it meant we could be together"
"I don't know Aang... we're in a war and I don't know if it's the right time for this"
"But I really have feelings towards you. And I just... I just it would work out..."
"I'm sorry Aang but right now I'm just very confused..." Katara said as she lowered her head with her mouth slightly opened.
Aang didn't really know why he was doing what he was about to do. Maybe it was desperation or he was testing Katara but either way he leaned forward and planted a small kiss on her lips
"I just said I was confused!" said Katara with frustration
"You know what? Maybe I do love you as a brother because you often act like one. I'm going back inside"
"Katara wait!"
"I'm sorry about earlier I was just..." but he was too late because she already went through the curtain doors
"UGH... I'm such an idiot..." groaned Aang in frustration as he smacked himself in the face with his fist. He then sighed and leaned over the railing again, only this time Katara wasn't there to keep him company. He looked to the place where she stood moments ago and was reminded of the words she just said.
"Maybe I do love you as a brother because you often act like one"
"She... only loves me... as a brother? After all we've been through? Hadn't she noticed how affectionate I've been towards her? Haven't she noticed me blushing every time she gave a hug or a kiss on the cheek? Or when I made that necklace for her? Hadn't she seen the feelings that laid behind that?..."
"Oh man... now she'll never want me as her boyfriend..." Aang said as he put his hands in his palms and started to cry softly...
He felt like someone has taken a dagger and stuck it through his heart and jabbed it around. His heartbreak was so strong it would ache and he wanted him to scream in agony... as much as it hurt, he didn't want his friends to him like this. So he decided to walk home alone before anyone would start asking questions. He whipped his face, and took a short condemning and hating look at the theater while thinking of Katara before he started walking home. As he walked Aang felt like his heart was dripping blood and he was leaving a trial of blood behind him with every step he took. He loved Katara dearly and the fact that she doesn't want him as a boyfriend made him feel like a zombie. Just taking it one step at a time with a dead mind. One step and one day at a time with a dead mind and a bleeding heart.
By the time he managed to get back to camp, the rest of the group was halfway home behind him wondering where he is. By the time he was about to get into his sleeping bag he heard a voice and saw someone running towards him
"Aang!"
"Hey Soka..."
"Where have you been? We were really worried about you" Soka said as everyone caught up with him
"I decided to leave early"
"Yeah but you could have at least told us. We were worried sick about y..." Soka stopped speaking in mid sentence when he saw how red Aang's eyes were
"Hey are okay?" he asked as his tone changed from irritated to concerned
"I'm tired. I'm gonna go to sleep early" he said taking a quick blaming glance at Katara as she lowered her head in shame as Aang got into his sleeping bag
"Are you sure you're okay? You look a little sick" said Katara in an attempt to make peace with him. But all Aang did was turn his back to her in his sleeping bag and faced a different direction
"Just let him be Katara, he seems kinda irritable" said Soka and signaled everyone to leave Aang alone.
Time passes...
Everyone has fallen asleep except for Katara. She wanted to apologize to Aang but it won't do much good unless she could change her feelings for him. Even if she doesn't she could try to apologize for being harsh on him and say she will always be his friend but that's probably not gonna be enough for him. As painful as it will be for her she'll probably have to do that either way because she still wants him as a friend and she doesn't want to be at war with him for the rest of their lives. Besides if she doesn't make peace with him soon, the rest of the group is gonna figure out something's going on and she doesn't want to be portrayed as the bad one. Her thoughts were interrupted by someone whispering her name. She opened her eyes and saw Aang who was sleeping in front of her, whispering her name in his sleep and seemed to be crying at the same time.
"Katara... katara... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to upset you..."
"Oh man... what have you been done?..." she thought
"I never meant to hurt him like this... I was just trying to..."
her thoughts were interrupted by Suki shuffling in her sleeping bag. Suki was sleeping in front of Katara where her legs are and was now facing Aang just like she was. She hoped she didn't hear or see him and was still asleep. Katara sighed softly and decided to get out of her sleeping bag to get some fresh air and try to put her thoughts in order. She walked to the edge of mountain they were on and sat on a stump onlooking the sea. It looked beautiful at night. The sky was crystal clear and the stars reflected beautifully on the black water of the sea beneath her. Just seeing the beach reminded her of Aang automatically wanting to enter the water and before she knew it, they had a beach party. But thinking about Aang only increased her pain and guilt. She put her hands in her palms
"Why does this hurt so badly? I know I should have been nicer to him but why do I feel my heart flutter every time I think about him?..."
Katara was startled to hear some shuffling behind her and she saw Suki sitting on the stump next her
"Hi Suki..." she said in a slightly depressed voice
"What are you doing up?" asked Suki
"I couldn't sleep. Why are you up?"
"I was woken up by hearing Aang whispering in his sleep as tears were dripping down his cheeks. Whispering your name and trying to apologize for something"
Katara sighed as she put her head in her palms again as Suki put her hand on her shoulder for support
"We had a fight earlier..." said Katara after a short silence...
"About what?"
Katara hesitated about whether or not she wanted to answer that because it was kinda private. In the end she said
"He asked me if I loved him as a sister like in the play and I said I wasn't sure. He then said he has feelings for me and tried to kiss me but I turned him down saying I was confused"
"I then turned to leave and he tried to apologize and I threw it at his face..." said Katara as tears were now dripping down her face and they burned with pain, guilt and regret. They felt like liquid steam
"And I told him that maybe I do love him as a sister because of his behavior and walked away. But the thing is I'm not sue if that's true. I never was. And now I don't know what to do. On one hand I want to make peace with him and be friends again, but I don't think he's really gonna be in a mood to talk if I don't love him back. But I don't want to lose him as a friend..." sobbed Katara as she cried into her palms as Suki hugged her around the shoulders in an attempt to comfort her
"it's not too late to fix this situation Katara"
"it's not? How do you know?"
"listen to me Katara. When you're with Aang what do you feel? Especially when you're alone?"
"I feel like he's a part of me. A part that can and should never be separated. I feel happy and fulfillment... like he's the one I want to be with for the rest of my life..." It was then that Katara truly realized how she feels about him
"Oh my G-d I really do love him..." she looked at Suki as if to gain her approval. All Suki did is nod sadly
"Oh G-d what have I done?!..." Katara sobbed with anguish as she put her face in her hands again, releasing herself from Suki's hug
"You broke his heart. He really cares about you, you know that? I've seen the way he looks at you." said Suki sadly
"He loves you Katara" Suki said in a sad and serious voice
"He loves you" she said again and put her hand on Katara's shoulder
"Do you know how painful it is to have someone break your heart? Especially if it's a person you love and he or she turns you down? It's terrible! And I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not even the firelord."
Katara whipped her nose with her sleeve and sniffed.
"What can I do?"
"Talk to him. Tell him how sorry you are and how you really feel about him. Tell him how much you need him and you can't be without him. Try to be a support for him during this rough time"
"But all Katara did was shake her head
"But he won't even look at me. I made him hate me. He wouldn't be interested even if I told him. I missed my chance"
"Try. But first you might want to give him some time. Wait for the anger to be replaced with pain, which doesn't take long. Maybe a day or two. Wait for him to be sad and wait for you to come back. That should be the best time to try and make peace with him. That's when he'll want to listen and talk to you"
"But what about the rest of the group? I don't everyone to know what happened"
"You'll just have to deal with it when it happens. For now try to deal with your pain as he deals with his. When he's ready try talking to him. Until then you'll just have to bite the bullet"
"Okay..." said Katara
"Thank you so much for your help and advice Suki. I don't know what I would have done without you"
"It was my pleasure Katara. You know I'm always happy to help" Katara nodded as tears threatened to burst out of her eyes again so Suki gave her another comforting hug
"Come here... you'll be alright Katara. I promise. And so will Aang. Hopefully he can find it within himself to forgive you and turn over a new leaf"
Katara nodded as Suki continued to hug her for another minute or so until she said
"Come on let's try to get some sleep"
Katara nodded as they separated from the hug and they both went back to sleep hoping for a better tomorrow...
To be continued...
Well? How do you like it so far? I hope to write the next chapter either tomorrow or within the next few days. Either way I hope you like it...
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Thank you...