If there is one thing I love is filling in the blanks … All the little things that you wanted to see in an episode that weren't there. One reason I love bonus disks on DVDs – deleted scenes. If there is one thing I love more it is Klaine. There is so much backstory there that I really wish I could see …
This is currently a back story look at "Original Songs" I swear, I LOVED it but wanted MORE. So I decided I would see what my take on that back story would be. If it is well received I may do a multi chapt following Kurt and Blaine from "Never been kissed on" I have seen some that have done this, but for some reason they all end up rated M, because for some reason Klaine getting it on is all that a lot of people seem to want to write about. I am more interested in exploring the developing relationship. Hope you enjoy.
For the required: I do not own Glee, wish I did, if I did – Puck would be chained to my bed and Klaine would have already declared their undying love.
I hope that Warbler practices aren't always going to be filled with drama Kurt thought, going over the sheet music on the table in front of him. I know regionals are just around the corner, but this is getting annoying. It is like he is a god or something. He can do no wrong. Yea right.
I know he thinks that I am a project that he is working on fixing, but it is like he has to be in control all the time. Sitting in my room offering to tell me everything he knows was just it. He made me feel like I was 6 instead of 16. Like I needed "taken care of".
As the doors to the Warblers lounge FLEW open and sheet music went flying everywhere his only thought was And I get accused of being a diva. What a way to make an entrance. I used to at least be able to get psyched about singing with him, right now I could really care less.
It seemed that Blaine wasn't going to let him get away without the usual banter, dragging him out into the hall and parking him on a bench. Isn't that a bit over the top, even for you Blaine, Puppy dog eyes on the shoulder. I better at least play along for the sake of the guys. Prove that I can be the team player and all. I hate that, I miss just being able to be me, if I even know who that is anymore. I want to be me and not some cookie cutter backup singer. You really annoy me Blaine.
"So what did you think of the song?" Blaine asked
Wow, he does have me pissed off. I can't believe I told him that it is Blaine and the Pips But someone needs to say it. I can say at least that I turned smartly on my very fashionable heels and walked off after I said it. Let him know what it feels like to be left standing with your jaw hanging open and no answer. He has done it to me enough times. If nothing else at least this whole thing has let me see that Blaine still thinks it is all about Blaine. So much for my first actual gay crush. I think he has made his feelings perfectly clear in that matter.
What was that about? Kurt has never snapped at me before, not even when he had every reason to.
Finding Pavarotti this morning just starts the day fantastically. That bird was my only real friend recently. I knew that no matter what he was going to be there for me. You know what, I am going to be there for him today, in true Kurt Hummel style. They told me that he was my voice, but I have a voice and they are going to hear it today. Black skinny jeans, riding boots, black silk shirt, and the Marc Jacobs jacket. I think Pavarotti deserves the frills, and he is going to get his last song, even if I have to sing it for him.
See Mr. Blaine Anderson, you aren't the only one who can make an entrance. Did I really say we were supposed to be do wooping behind Blaine? I guess I did. He almost looks hurt. I really don't care right now. Just have to sing this. The sad thing is most of these guys don't even get this song. Flying free as yourself and not as what everyone else wants you to be. I don't think they even have any idea how to do that anymore.
That really hurt. Do wooping behind Blaine? I think he has a point tho.
I really miss hearing him sing. That voice can cut right through you.
"Open these sunken eyes and learn to see. All your life you were only
waiting for this moment to be free."
I've never watched him sing without at least catching my eye.
"Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly"
I just want to wrap my arms around him and wipe away those tears.
God, I can't stand seeing him cry. I never want to see him cry
"Blackbird fly into the light of the dark black sky"
Why have I been so blind?
All this time you've has been right here, and I've been too scared to see it.
All I need is you.
Here we go again, another Blainefest. What sounds best for Blaine to sing, what does Blaine want to sing? Did he really say what thought I heard? He is tired of it all being about him? Did he really just suggest a duet for regionals? And the guys actually agreed? And he wants to sing it with me? And what's with the little wink? Now I am back to being confused.
That felt great. And you know what it is true. It has been all about me. This is supposed to be a group. Music is supposed to be about joy, sorrow, love. Not about competitions and trophies and councils. I think I well and truly confused Kurt tho. Now all I have to do is find the perfect song.
One that says everything I am feeling, so maybe he'll understand. I want to just tell him but I'll mess it up. The perfect song it has to be
Why is he just standing there? And why the hell am I so tuned in that I can feel him standing there. Kurt Hummel you told yourself that this crush thing is over. Don't go there again.
Why is it I never really saw how beautiful he is?
Why did it take me forever to figure this out?
Baby, please don't ever go, I just found you.
I am going to make an ass out of myself, I know I am.
"What's that?"
"I'm decorating Pavarotti's casket"
"Well finish up. I found the perfect song for our number and we need to practice"
Just play it cool Hummel, it's just a song.
"Do tell" Did that sound noncommittal enough? Or too much?
"Candles, by Hey Monday"
He doesn't have any way to know that I love that song. Don't read too much in. Nonchalance remember?
"Wow, I'm impressed, you're usually so top 40"
Does Blaine actually look uncomfortable? He looks like he wants to be wringing something between his fingers. This isn't like him. It's not like we haven't sung together, even more flirty stuff to be sure.
"I wanted something more emotional"
Why is he just sitting there staring at the table? And why...
"Why did you pick me to sing that song with?"
No, don't open your mouth again. .
There is no way I can NOT answer that. SHIT
"Kurt, there comes a moment when you say to yourself … Oh there you are, I've been looking for you forever"
Damn, this isn't happening, this can't be happening, this is just another "I care about you but I don't want to screw this up"
Maybe not – he's all but holding my hand, God it feels good. You know you want to look into those beautiful eyes Hummel, just do it. God I could get lost in them forever...
"Watching you singing Blackbird this week, that was a moment for me … about you"
Breathe …. Breathe …. I am not going to say anything, I'm not …. He looks like he could just bolt at any second. Just breathe …..
"You move me Kurt, and this duet would just be an opportunity to spend more time with you"
Ok slightly awkward silence. Sweet Lady Gaga, is he … yes he is … Blaine is kissing me. Breathe, you can do this, Oh wow I'm kissing him back. Those lips taste soooooooo good.
Oh Blaine, you look like you are worried you made the worst move in your life, You really want me? Breathe …
OH SHIT
"We should ahhh practice..."
It's like the words are just rolling off my tongue …. Is that a real life sexy flirt? Lord...
"I thought we were"
Damn Kurt that was sexy in the most amazing way
Is it possible that a second kiss can be this much better? It feels like all the flirting, misunderstandings, and longings of all the past months is all rolled up in one kiss .. Damn that boy can kiss … God are those his fingers in my hair? Stupid, stupid they certainly aren't anyone else's …. I really don't want this to end.
"You know this really isn't that comfortable Kurt. Come here" Did I really ever say I didn't like him having control over everything. He can lead me anywhere, especially if he keeps holding my hand like that … I will admit the couch is much more comfortable and I won't get a massive crick in my neck just to be able to keep looking into those gorgeous eyes.
Somehow we have ended up in one of the weirdest comfortable positions I have ever been in. Me sitting the couch, legs tucked underneath me, with Blaine's casually over mine so we could just look at each other. And he still hasn't let go of my hand. I can say, my boy looks fine, too forward thinking there Kurt. Did I really just shush him with a fingertip? I guess I must have, because he just kissed the palm of my hand, and is holding them both now.
"OK, you've done all the talking so far and I want a chance. First and most importantly, thank you. I think I can honestly say that that most defiantly the first kiss I have ever had that really counted. I will say a rather fantastic first too." Is Blaine actually blushing – wow that is so sexy "Secondly – You actually seem to have overcome the "romance issues" because you just managed to blow me away. And thirdly, I hate to say it but you looked scared to death Blaine. I never considered myself to be the intimidating type, were you that worried about how I would respond?"
"Actually" there is that blush again "Considering how I have basically either been oblivious to your feelings or just didn't take them into consideration, I was. I mean think about it, I dragged you along to serenade another guy on Valentine's Day, made out with one of your best girlfriends, and didn't even see that what I was doing was hurting you. I am so scared to death of screwing this up."
If he can't even look at me he must be really beating himself up. I freed my hands, gently tipped his face up towards mine and laid a soft kiss on those beautiful lips. I never would have even though of actually doing that even an hour ago.
"So scared of breaking it that you won't let it bend" I sing quietly into his ear, wow was that a shiver? "You only have the opportunity to screw something up that is actually there Blaine. The only real screw up would be not giving it the chance."
So this is what it feels like to just be held, wrapped up in those strong arms. It feels so good to just have my head resting on his shoulder with the palm of my hand feeling his heartbeat through his shirt. Did he really just kiss my hair?
"What did I ever do to get this lucky Kurt" ahh Blaine smart man, asking an open ended question
"Honestly" now I'm blushing "Ran down the halls holding my hand to the Warblers performance on my spy mission, looked me in the eye when singing about skin tight jeans, and practiced "Baby its Cold Outside" and rather convincingly, I might add. I could have stayed there all night just looking at you." Ok maybe that was a bit too forward.
"Wow, all I had to do was sing about skin tight jeans?" That giggle was so damn cute
"Actually I think the hero worship stage ended somewhere around you singing about "Beautiful what's your hurry" but you definatly had my attention the first day I met you."
Do I detect a smirk Blaine "I have to say one thing Kurt. You seem a lot more at ease, a lot less … I don't know, reserved?"
"I'm not watching every word coming out of my mouth right now, not trying so hard to be noticed and unnoticed at the same time. I'm just more comfortable I guess." Definatly more comfortable if I have one hand wrapped in that gorgeous head of hair and the other on his face as I kiss him again. "I do have two questions to ask before we go pack up my absolutely fabulous last gift to Pavarotti and go practice. Number one – should this slight change in the situation surrounding the Regionals duet stay under wraps until after the competition?" Did I actually hear a snort in that giggle? Am I really going to be this bold … Hell to the YES to quote Mercedes – YIKES Mercedes is gonna die "Number two, you told me on Valentine's Day that you had never actually been anyone's boyfriend. Would you care to officially change that situation? I have an opening you know?" I'm trying so hard not to giggle or worse laugh "And if you tell me no I am just going to have to assume you make frequent confessions of affection and molest random guys in the lounge" I can't help it, I am laughing so hard I think I might cry. Wow we even laugh in perfect harmony, didn't think that was possible.
"First off – keep the "not worrying" thing going Kurt – it works well on you. Secondly – I think quiet is smart until after the competition. And third – I thought that had already been established but if she can keep her mouth shut you can call Mercedes – and only Mercedes – and tell her you are singing a duet with your boyfriend at regionals."
"And fourth" that is the most sensual look I have ever seen, how does he get up that smoothly? "Get up here and give me another kiss and the best damn hug I have ever had in my life." That's one thing I can do easily.
This is harder than I thought it was going to be. Blaine keeps perching on the arm of my chair during meetings just barely resting his arm against my shoulder. When no one is looking, he sneaks me that little half wink, and we have only really gotten to be alone for a couple of minutes. I want to climb up on a table and tell the world that the most gorgeous guy I have ever met is mine!
This is harder than I thought it was going to be. All I want to do is reach out and touch his cheek when we are singing. We are trying to keep it friendly and no more intense than it would be if I was singing with one of the other guys but I don't know how much longer I can take this.
If he looks at me one more time and runs the tip of his tongue over his lips absentmindedly I am going to go crazy. I want more time to spend with him. He felt so good, laid up on my chest that first day. I want that.
OK I am going to actually die. I don't know if I can do this. I am so scared right now. Almost panicked. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I needed to see that smile right now. And he thinks I am adorable. I like adorable. I just wish he could wrap his arms around me instead of just holding my shoulders but even that contact feels great.
I wish I could just wrap my arms around him and tell him it is all right.
I made it through the opening, I can do this. Those gorgeous hazel eyes are all I need to hold onto. This is Blaine and I , no one else is here, just us. It is like every word is coming straight from his heart. You know what, we will be all right.
That was amazing. I have never had everything just fade away like that onstage before.
All I could see was that open wonderful face, so full of us and it was so right.
Did I actually just prance over to drag him into the spotlight? Yeah he's good for me.
You know what Blaine is right. We did win, just the two of us. Us I really like the sound of that. And now I get to snuggle, in public no less, with my boyfriend. Everyone in New Directions was so happy for us, even if the guys here were a bit more unreadable. Either way we have each other, and I love that.
I can't believe he is really and truly mine. How did I miss this for so long? Why did I miss this for so long?
You know what, it really doesn't matter. We have a lot of time now. And a lot to look forward to. Finally.