Disclaimer: All characters are copyright of CLAMP. Lyrics and title are copyright of Stephen Sondheim. No monetary profit is being made from the writing or distribution of this fic.
Warnings: murder, strangeness, and a case of possession that's wrong on so many levels it isn't funny.
Character-Beta: The amazing Schnickledooger, author of the Tsubasa CRACK fics Addicted to You and Stuck in the Middle With You with our favorite X characters. (They're awesome. You should read them. You'll laugh yourself hoarse)
*sigh* I've done it again. Another really confusing first chapter. I think I just really like to throw people into the middle of it and watch them figure it out. ^_^ That said, while I prefer readers to come to their own decisions and opinions, I've marked some passages for further clarification with numbers in parenthesis and written explanations at the end of the chapter. I suggest not looking it up unless you really don't get it though. It's not really AU, nor is it altered timeline; it just starts about 80 years after the end of X. ^_~
Billy and Cheshire Cat… if you're reading this, there's a special note for you at the end.
To be happy, and forever, you must see your wish come true.
Don't be careful, don't be clever. When you see your wish, pursue.
It's a dangerous endeavor, but the only thing to do-
…
You go into the woods, where nothing's clear,
Where witches, ghosts, and wolves appear.
Into the woods and through the fear,
You have to take the journey.
Into the woods and down the dell,
In vain, perhaps, but who can tell?
Into the woods to lift the spell…
-Stephen Sondheim (Ever After from Into the Woods)
Part 1
Eyes in the Night
When the moon's silvery blood washed across the fallen world and the wind wept in the tall grass… that was when the woods were the most dangerous. That was when the forest came alive, nameless gods (1) of the night again allowed to wander the world, and the very air echoed with the tormented keens and cries of the damned. Spirits shivered in the silvery streams of moonlight—terrified, confused, mindless things. The tree tops swayed with the splintering shriek of souls being devoured—a unique pitch, high and grating and unnatural. The night fairly sang with the sounds of the dead and dying, but if it bothered the man standing nonchalantly at the edge of the little yard where the trees ended, contemplating the barrier before him, it didn't show.
There were many things in the woods, but even the most powerful and deadly had difficulty crossing the line of wards that ran along the edge of the trees, framing the grounds of a little house. They were strong wards that had always proven to be impeccable deterrents in the past, but even the best magical barriers had their limits, and so, as the man stepped forward, power coming to bear before him, they met their end in a dazzling shower of shimmering sparks, finally fizzling into darkness.
The man who stepped through the black crackling of the barrier was tall and handsome, with pitch-black hair. The wind picked up, crying its warning to the night, and the man's black trench coat fluttered in the sudden gust. He looked around at the trim little yard and his lips twitched up in a knowing smile.
Subaru-kun…
Behind a window on the second story, a black-haired boy jerked upright in bed, green eyes bright and wild with the instinctive knowledge of impending peril. But the room was still, empty, filled with the same odd things it always was: the funny switch (2) by the door that could be flicked up or down but seemed to have no purpose, or the strange metal grate in the wall that stared back at him blankly through its dark slats, or the little numbered knob on the wall that could be spun in circles. But there was something… an electric current that ran along his nerves, the prickle of magic.
Shoving the blankets back, he padded softly to the window. At first, all he could see was the lawn, a grassy oval framed by still-frozen flowers and tall shrubs that cast dark shadows. Then, as he looked more directly down, his heart leapt in alarm. There, directly below him, standing in the shadow of a particularly misshapen tree, stood a man staring unwaveringly up at him. The man stood so still and blended so well with the shadows that Subaru had almost missed him. The upturned, pale face was the only flaw that gave away the illusion.
There was something… translucent about the man too. Something insubstantial. Not a human. The magic that crawled along his skin whispered of something from the woods…
Subaru knew all too well the sorts of things that lurked in the woods. Sometimes he saw them, hovering at the edge of the lawn, just outside the wards. Sometimes they'd stand and stare balefully at him, watching, always watching with those unblinking, fathomless eyes. The dead ones did that a lot. But it was the other ones, the ones that rustled the grass in their wake as they stalked the perimeter of the house, always out of sight, never visible. Those were the ones that still made Subaru's breath catch in his throat. When he felt one of those, he'd freeze, barely daring to move until the weight of eyes was lifted from him and the danger passed.
This man… he was dangerous too, Subaru was sure. And as he stared down into that upturned face, unable to turn away, wholly captured, there was something in the shape of the face, the strong shoulders… Familiar. Frighteningly familiar.
For a fraction of a second, he almost remembered… something. It was a wrench at his heart, the flutter of impressions and feelings too wild and strong to understand. Not memories—they were too old to be memories. And as they winged away, he was left grasping after them desperately, instinctively aware of the value of what he was losing. Something precious. Something important.
A phantom wind skittered across his floor and danced through his hair.
Time whooshed out from under him, leaving him frozen on the spot, breath caught in his throat. Then ever so slowly, the world caught up, the forest's cries picking back up where they'd left off and the wind whistling once again around the window. Realizing he'd been caught staring, Subaru flushed and felt heat suddenly suffuse his cheeks. He didn't know why he should be embarrassed when clearly the other had been staring first, but there was just something about that intense gaze. Below, the man's lips twitched into an amused smile, as though he knew exactly what was going on with the boy, as though he could see straight through the moon-washed glass.
There was a sudden creak from somewhere deeper in the house, and grateful for the distraction, Subaru turned. Worrying his lip for a second, he contemplated the solid wood of his bedroom door. But no ensuing sound escaped the worn floors beyond. If his grandmother had woken, she had not gotten up. Sighing, he turned his attention back to the window... and jerked backward in startled alarm at the face, now inches away, staring at him through the glass.
Subaru's foot hit a small pile of books, and he tumbled over backward, assailing the floor with a shower of arms and legs and fluttered pages. By the time he managed to sort out what was paper and what was limb and climb back to his feet, the man was gone. Subaru stared apprehensively out the window for hours, watching the shadows crawl across the lawn, but the stranger didn't return…
The night wind kicked the ashes aloft—sickly clouds of grimy, gray dust raining bits of gritty debris on the green, green grass. Standing on the crest of a little hill, Fuuma took no notice of the feathery fire shards settling into his hair and dusting his shirt. His front was washed in brilliant oranges and yellows, while the blaze below roared on, sending his shadow skittering out warily behind. The screams had long since faded, drowned out by loud crackling and pops, the rush of flames.
It had been so long, so many years—a weight that didn't show in his still-lean shoulders and lithe body pressed heavily upon his mind. He was tired, wearied by the world. There weren't so many humans left now. Surely it would not be long and the world would be satisfied…
An insubstantial tug at his sleeve, light as moon-glazed water, caught his attention. He didn't bother to turn. He knew he wouldn't see anything. Not the upward tilt of a delicate chin or the obstinate set of amethyst eyes. But he could feel the Wish at his side, vibrant and demanding.
When? There were no words. They didn't need any.
"Soon," he told the empty air, and the wind seemed to sigh impatiently in response. Fingers brushed his hand, skimming across the knuckles. He tilted his head back and breathed in the burning air, still feeling the cool touch of unseen fingers against his own, a welcome relief from the heat and the solitude. Never alone, the touch said. And yet, it only served to make him more acutely aware that he was. The continuous reminder was in some ways more difficult to bear than the long, endless days and nights of emptiness.
It had been too long. Far too long.
"Soon," he whispered. To himself. To the wind.
Soon…
Subaru woke again that next night, the sound of his own name burning through his dreams. He listened, still under the covers, to the faint tapping coming from the direction of his window. In his mind, memories of a strange face in the yard still held him wary.
The tapping sound came again.
Subaru tugged fretfully at the sheets—he just hadn't been brought up to keep anyone waiting. But this time, after getting up and pulling the curtains open, he wasn't surprised to find the amber-eyed man watching him through the glass (though he did spare a thought to wonder if there had always been such a large tree right outside his window). The man had one hand pressed to the invisible barrier that ran along the contours of the house, which was shimmering and crackling and buzzing angrily where it was touched. With his other hand, he pointed at the paper ward stuck to the top of the sill that was the barrier's heart and mouthed something inaudible, smiling pleasantly.
Subaru shook his head, glancing back at his bedroom door. Obaa-chan would be very upset if he took the ward down, no matter the circumstance. But… there was something about the unearthly stranger—he couldn't place it—something like meeting an old acquaintance. He looked up into those amber eyes and placed his hand against the glass too, curling it a little at the cold, and stared at how tiny his fingers were compared to the hand on the other side—how the man's large palm dwarfed his child-like one. And yet it felt comforting. Like his grandmother's hands, warm and soothing. He squirmed closer to the glass, trying to press his hands into the others' as though they could magically breach that thin sheet of cold, clear sand and touch one another. Something ancient and instinctual whispered that it had always been like this—one of them on one side and the other on the other—never able to touch, never allowed to meet. He looked at their hands, pressed as close together as glass and ward allowed and thought that Obaa-chan's hands were nice, but this was where his hands belonged—in this stranger's. He was not expecting the clear voice—a beautiful, crystal voice he'd never heard before—to weep a soft yeeeeeeesss.
Reaching up, he tore the ward from the sill, watching as the barrier outside his window shrieked its dismay and dissolved in glimmering sparkles. Then he threw open the window. The cold, pre-spring wind immediately rushed through the opening—a blast of icy air that left Subaru blinking blindly. When he could again open his eyes, it was to find the amber-eyed man beside him, crouched so that their faces were almost equal.
"Subaru-kun…" For once the man wasn't smiling. An oddly rapturous glint lighted his eyes as he reached out and ghosted fingers along Subaru's cheek. Subaru shivered, feeling the magic that always preceded contact with one of the things from the woods crawl particularly strongly where those insubstantial hands brushed across—through—his skin. For a second—so quick Subaru almost thought it hadn't existed at all—something like annoyance flashed in those amber eyes. The man continued smiling pleasantly, but Subaru suddenly had the feeling the man was irritated.
"Are you… Are you an Angel?" His grandmother had often told him stories of the time when they still roamed the earth and everyone had lived in fear. The one who could call the waters down from the heavens. The one who could hear the sound of your feet against the earth from miles away. And so many others. Stories handed down from parent to child. Whispers in the night. Immortal memories.
Subaru had never met an Angel before, but surely, if they existed, this beautiful, dangerous man who knew his name without asking must be one of them.
"I was an Angel." The man's smile twitched with amusement. The words might have been inaudible, but Subaru heard them anyway, in that same way he saw things he shouldn't and felt things others couldn't. There weren't many kids his age, and the one or two he'd met who hadn't been mad had thought he was mad when he turned to watch things they couldn't see. Subaru didn't understand their hate and ridicule. It didn't occur to him that being able to see the things from the woods should be abnormal. He could see them, and Obaa-chan could see them, and that was what mattered.
"I'm sorry!" Subaru squeaked suddenly, all at once realizing he'd been staring again and that the man was surely becoming impatient with him. After all, there was only thing that could be done to help the things from the woods. "Would you like me to start now?"
"Start?" the man asked, frowning in perplexity. "Start what?"
"The exorcism." At the man's uncomprehending stare, Subaru continued with growing uncertainty. "You did come here so I could exorcize you, didn't you?" Not that he wanted the man to leave. In fact, he very much wished the man would stay. But it was surely selfish of him to ask such a thing.
"Exorcize me?!" The man's eyes widened in surprise. Then he threw his head back and laughed and laughed while Subaru blushed and stammered and looked all shades of bewildered. Finally, the man's laughter faded into silent chuckles and he continued, "As pleasant as I'm sure it would be to be exorcized by such a cute onmyouji, I'm afraid I can't let you do that…"
"I don't understand," Subaru confessed. "If you don't need me to help exorcize you, why are you here?"
"I'm waiting for someone."
"Oh." Subaru felt as if something feathery inside him had suddenly been doused with water. He'd assumed that this man, with laughter that made him feel all warm and flustered and whole for the first time in his existence, was alone. But knowing the man had someone else, he felt strangely sad. "Is the one you're waiting for an Angel too?" The question seemed to amuse the man, who sat down on the edge of the bed.
"He's an angel for sure."
"What's he like?" Subaru sat down too, tired from not getting any sleep the previous night and not getting any now. Beside him, the man's eyes lit with a mischievous spark.
"He's cute. He has wide green eyes and fine black hair and the kindest heart of anyone." Subaru listened, totally blank, thinking only that the man was lucky to have such a nice companion and feeling very much inadequate and awkward. But as the man went on, Subaru yawned cutely and rubbed his eyes and tried to stay awake despite the hour. But eventually the man's words lulled him into a state of amiable drowsiness, and he realized he was lying down on his bed having no recollection of having slipped sideways so.
"Angel," he whispered, beginning to nod off and struggling to keep emerald eyes cracked open, "you'll come back… won't you?"
The man nodded, watching him. "I'll always come back for you." And there might have been something in that intense golden gaze, some suggestion in the steel of the voice that Subaru might not have any choice in the matter. Sighing contentedly, Subaru drifted off to sleep, face caught in the rays of the moon that streamed in through the window, making him look ethereal and light and achingly adorable.
Ghosting fingers over soft skin he couldn't really touch, Seishirou smiled admiringly and bent low to whisper into the boy's ear, knowing he wouldn't hear, "The one I'm waiting for, Subaru-kun, I've already found him…"
Fuuma flitted across the grass, noting the differences in the land. Some places were green and wet, the weeds and vegetation having gladly taken over after the devastation, while other places, like Tokyo, remained barren wastelands of broken buildings. Cities of sand. Of course, he mused vaguely, in Tokyo's case, the continued desolation wasn't just due to the destruction of humanity. No, there were other… magical causes at work there…
He halted his headlong dash briefly, lighting upon a brightly-colored metal shaft protruding from the tall grass. Through the vegetation, a small graveyard loomed—all bits and pieces and half-forgotten memories: a rubber wheel here, a protruding neon sign there. It was not an unfamiliar sight. He started to go, but then something sparkled in the sunlight—a flash of movement to his left that had him whirling around… only to find he was surrounded by hundreds of shattered mirror fragments. Through the grimy glass, a hundred pairs of gold eyes stared back at him appraisingly. Looking down into all those broken pieces of himself, Fuuma's lips curled up in self-mocking smirk. Mirrors could do nothing but show the truth—unfailingly condemned to reflect reality exactly as it was.
A thousand eyes could see a thousand different things, but there would only ever be one reality. It just took a thousand mirrors to show it properly.
He started to turn away, but something else reflected in the glass he hadn't noticed before made his breath hitch in surprise. In several of the mirror fragments, at his side, a pair of amethyst eyes stared back, tilted in surprise.
Nothing but the truth indeed, he thought wonderingly.
"Kamui…" He reached out for one of the shards, brushing fingers against the glass reverently, outlining the shape of a familiar face, the curve of a jaw, the twist of lips set in permanent impatience—scrabbling at it when he couldn't touch, couldn't feel. Blood stained his fingers, smeared across the glass. Fuuma stared down in sudden despair at the blood-coated face. And for a second it was 1999 and the downed skyscrapers stood tall and imposing and a broken little body in his arms lifted a pale hand to brush his cheek and smile one last time… because there was only one Wish that had mattered in the end.
And another Wish lost because the only one who could grant it was dead.
Blinking everything back into focus, Fuuma realized the shard beneath his hands had been effectively turned into silver dust. He scowled, letting it fall through his fingers. It would do him no good now—just like those memories. Dust.
And yet, when he left, it was with one of the shards in his pocket. A shard that had held amethyst eyes only minutes before…
The following night, when Subaru again woke to sound darkness and tiptoed to his window to see Angel beckoning him from the lawn, he didn't hesitate to sneak down the stairs and out the door. The cold grass tickled his bare feet as he stepped off the porch and onto the lawn, poking at the soft pads of his soles and squishing between his toes. His pajamas whipped in the wild wind, tugging at him insistently.
The wards that ran along the edge of the grounds were down again, Subaru noted as he approached the man. It was dangerous to leave themselves exposed to the woods, but somehow… somehow it felt safe with Angel there. Even if his grandmother was half furious and half worried about the inexplicable breaches that had been made in her shields lately.
Angel held out his hand and gestured towards the woods, beckoning. "Walk with me." But Subaru shook his head, wide-eyed.
"Obaa-chan will be worried if I stay out late," the boy looked guiltily at his toes.
"Don't worry about your grandmother." Angel's voice was almost harsh, but at a startled flash of green, he smiled pleasantly and his voice dropped to a soothing purr. "Stay with me." The boy nodded hurriedly, but then stood there indecisively. So Angel patted the grass beside him, ignoring the way the long stalks went through his hand, until Subaru sat down, back formally straight, at his side. His little hands folded neatly in his lap. Angel sighed. It was too much to ask for the boy to be less than proper.
"You're a funny Angel," the child eyed him quizzically. "What are the other Angels like? Are they as nice as you?"
Angel chuckled. "Most of them were taken by the Earth long ago. Except one. The most powerful of all. " Beside him, Subaru's mouth made a little 'o' of admiration
"The one that destroyed the world?"
"That one." Angel nodded.
"Do you know about the White Angel?" Subaru blinked bright green eyes up at him.
"White Angel?"
"Yes! Grandma says Tokyo loved the White Angel sooo much, that when he died, the city wept tears of blood!" (3)
"Oh…" Angel smiled sadly. "That angel…" Subaru looked positively awed, shivering in the cold night air, and something like a pout flitted across Angel's face. Something almost like jealousy. "Is he your favorite?"
"No, just… the loneliest." Subaru shook his head, thin cotton pajamas no protection against the biting wind. He shivered violently, knees drawn up to his chest, tiny hands white with cold. "The s-sakura Angel—he's my f-favorite." A pleased turn of lips flitted across the man's mouth.
"Did your grandmother tell you the rest of the story?" At the boy's bewildered look, he continued. "There was someone waiting for the White Angel. So he would never be alone."
"Thasgood," Subaru slurred, trying to smile, but he was so cold—colder than he'd realized at first—and even his lips felt heavy and lethargic, unresponsive. Numb.
"But the White Angel's grandmother, not understanding, cast a spell to separate them forever." At the man's words, one white little hand pawed at the air sluggishly, a half-formed attempt at comfort. But the cold had long since gnawed its way into his bones, and the gesture remained incomplete.
"I ssshould go." Subaru said the words, but he was already slipping sideways, curling up on the ground beside the man in the long grass. Itchy green blades brushed his nose, tangled in his hair.
"Stay with me," the man asked, demanded, leaning down so that warm amber eyes seemed to fill the world.
"Tired," Subaru replied, trying to lift falling eyelids.
"Sleep then. I promise everything will be better when you wake. I'll keep you safe with me… forever." Subaru nodded tiredly. He knew his grandmother would not be happy, but forcing stiffened muscles to move, to take him inside, would require effort and struggle. Comparatively, staying with Angel was easy and felt good. And Angel wanted him to stay. Surely it wouldn't hurt… just a little while longer…
Angel's strangely satisfied smile was the last thing he saw.
Seishirou watched that face, serene in sleep, as the night wore on—watched with strange rapture and anticipation as the boy's shallow, shuddery breaths misted in the chilly air and snow-white skin took on beautiful blue shadows. He watched as frost laced lovely eyelashes.
At last. The thing he'd been looking for. Searching for. It had been so long.
An eternity. A matter of seconds.
Time held no importance to him—meant nothing at all. He could not say how long it had been, yet even he recognized it had been longer than normal—had the boy been so damaged last time? But lying so vulnerably there in the grass, time had at last returned the boy's spirit to him in the body of a child.
So fragile. So temporary. So easy to crush that beautiful glass case and tear out the glittering, ephemeral thing inside. To take back what belonged to him.
…or not so easy, he grumbled, as his hand again went through that seemingly-solid, tiny chest as if it were air. The only thing he wanted. Right in front of him.
Permanently out of his reach.
"Subaru-kun," he whispered chidingly, "come out of there. You don't belong in there. Come back to me." There was no answer from the cold little bundle beside him. Seishirou frowned at the lack of response. But then, Subaru had always been stubborn when he wanted to be… "This is silly. You know I'll get you out of there eventually, one way or another." Still the boy slept on, oblivious. Mildly frustrated by the lack of response, he contented himself with brushing ethereal fingers along the boy's jaw, a feathery non-touch, and imagined it was real—imagined he could caress the careful contours of that face or pet those pretty, slightly-parted lips.
Soon, he thought, staring hungrily at that hairs-breadth space between his hand and the boy's body—a fraction of an inch too far to cross. Soon. Soon he'd be able to touch again. To have. Sure, the poor little thing would be a bit confused at first, but he'd adapt. He'd realize where he belonged quickly enough once freed of the… restrictions of a body. After all, Seishirou didn't plan on letting him go.
So focused was he on the boy beside him, he didn't sense the attack until it was too late. He heard the words, turned in time to see the flash of white and feel the magical working slice into him. Subaru's grandmother stood, chest heaving, in the middle of the yard, nightgown billowing around her. Stupid, he berated himself, feeling his strength start to drain away under the severity of the blows, to half blind himself to the possibility of attack like that. But then, with Subaru, he had always been half blind…
He shielded himself easily from her next attack, now that his attention was focused on the possible threat. But while she wasn't as strong as him, she wasn't some talentless onmyouji either, and he was wounded… He glanced at the boy—a cold, speculative slide of eyes. Fighting the old woman off, even severely injured… that he could do. Trying to calm and haul along a semi-hysterical and confused Subaru while fighting off the old woman… that would be risky. Perhaps too risky. The boy would be his, one way or another. But there would be other times to collect. Leaving his possession in the care of the grandmother just a little while longer wouldn't hurt. Feeling more than a little frustrated, he backed slowly toward the line of the downed wards that protected the house.
Grinning darkly at the one who dared to deprive him of his prize, he whispered, "I'll be back for him," and disappeared into the trees.
By the time Obaa-chan reached Subaru seconds later, frost clinging to his hair, skin a moon-kissed white, too cold even to shiver, she thought he was dead. And even when she got him inside and finally managed to warm him sufficiently to steady his breathing and even out his pulse, she couldn't throw off the all-consuming fear that had seized her when she'd seen that man with her grandson. And when Subaru finally recovered enough to ask where the nice Angel man was, she was filled with a sudden and inexplicable knowledge that she could not protect the boy—that the stranger would take her grandson from her. And she knew, with a clarity she had never known before, what she had to do: she had to get him away from there.
She had to make sure Subaru never went into the woods.
Author Note: From vampires to ghosts—I don't really get any better, do I? Anyway, this story is planned as something of a trilogy, or 3-part story, built upon the frame of a hypothetical world, in which humanity has been destroyed. Nothing in X has been changed or altered—everything happened exactly as it did in the manga (oh, I take that back, one small change: Seishirou hung around. In the manga I think Subaru says Seishirou's spirit left). However, the reason why it's confusing is because speculations have been made (after some interesting discussion with Sute) about the end of the story, certain characters' true Wishes, and how the Earth might look some years later. And there's a slight bit of reincarnation with Subaru and his grandmother. ^_~ TF fans, don't worry, my other fic will still take priority. (That is, if it comes down to one or the other, Those Forsaken will be worked on first) An apology to the Fu/Kam fans… Sei and Su really have the larger parts this time, don't they? Fuuma and Kamui were added after I asked myself what had happened to the rest of the Angels. I like them, and I want them to have larger parts, so we'll see what happens.
Explanations:
1. "…nameless gods…" Not so nameless. One of them is named Kamui. I'll let you guess who the others are.
2. "…funny switch… metal grate… numbered knob…" Of course, we know these as a light switch, a heating vent, and a thermostat. Subaru though, having never seen electricity, doesn't understand their purpose. There are a lot of strange things around from before the 'fall of the world' that people no longer understand.
3. "…wept tears of blood!" Subaru's grandmother is being metaphorical so as not to give her poor grandson nightmares. In other words, the resulting catastrophe was so devastating, the city literally ran red with the blood of all the people who died.
To Billy & Cheshire Cat: One of you in particular expressed confusion as to where M-rated stories disappear, and since both of you write anonymous reviews, I couldn't respond! I just wanted to make sure both of you know that fanfiction . net doesn't automatically display all fics. When you click on X/1999 fics, it only displays K through T-rated fics. In order to get to M-rated stories like my Those Forsaken fic, you have to either set it to display M-rated fics, 'or' click on the link in my user name and go to my profile to find it there. Sorry for the confusion.