My head slams against the door as soon as I step through it, his warm tongue demands entrance and I open my mouth to him as his hands frantically claw at my jacket before finally pushing it from my body. I lean forward, my hands on his chest. I know the couch is nearby and I kick my Mary Janes off on the journey to it.
"You're late." His voice is rough in my ear and I can feel his hand on my ass. He squeezes it possessively and oh so roughly; my punishment. His mouth moves down my neck and my body shudders as my eyes roll back.
I open my mouth to answer him but he muffles my excuses with his lips. I'm powerless. My body surrenders to him, his arms supporting me as I fall into him, our bodies tumbling to the peach colored couch.
I land on top of him and our eyes met for the first time since I arrived. He looks sad and so aroused as he reaches his hand to the crook of my neck. I lean into his warmth, my eyes slipping closed. "We don't have much time."
My heart and my stomach sink at his words. It's a feeling of complete despair. The feeling of knowing that everything is so wrong, that this isn't how it should be, but there is nothing you can do to change it. If only I hadn't needed to brush my teeth that 4th time before rushing over here. We never have enough time. And this time it's my fault. I'll make it up to him.
In my panic my hands reach for his belt and I pull it from his jeans, throwing it to the floor with a loud clank. We both flinch at the loud noise, the walls here are paper thin. We pause, holding our breath, waiting for the inevitable before it happens. The cries of a 4 month old baby boy come flooding into our ears, and we each sigh in unison. My shoulders slump and I feel defeated, my head crashing to his shoulder.
"Hey." Will lifts my chin with his finger. "It's fine. I'll go calm him down, we can still do this." His body scoots from under me and I feel empty as he goes to tend to his son. The little boy with blonde hair and small blue eyes that match Terri's.
In these moments I second guess everything we're doing here. I straighten my tight skirt as I sit awkwardly on the couch surrounded by a life that isn't mine. I see my shoes scattered on the floor, my jacket in a pile by the door. I should go. But I won't leave, and I'll always come. I'm his; whenever he'll have me.
Minutes later I feel his lips on my neck and I reach behind myself into his thick curls and push him further into my flesh. I can feel his arms around my shoulder as he reaches for the buttons of my cardigan. He slowly unbuttons each one and I wish he would hurry. I help him and pull the material from my body. I don't want to waste any more time.
I turn around and kneel on the couch facing him. I wore red for him. His favorite. I smile shyly up at him as I reach behind myself and unhook my bra letting it fall. He reaches for me and gathers a breast in one hand, his fingers teasing my nipple and I arch my back pushing into the feeling.
"Come." He begins to pull my body to his and I wrap my legs around his waist as he lifts me over the back of the couch into his arms.
"Did you?" He always does, but I have to make sure.
"I changed all the bedding just before you got here."
I whisper a quiet 'Thank you' in his ear before I latch onto it and suck lightly causing his legs to move faster toward the bedroom; but he doesn't throw me onto the bed as I anticipate he will, he lies me down slowly and gently, his eyes scanning my body. "You're so beautiful, Emma. So beautiful and sexy."
I know I'm blushing but I don't mind. Will confessed to me months ago that my blushing turns him on. So I don't hide it any more. I flaunt it.
The redness spreads over my entire body when his lips clamp around my nipple and my body thrusts into his, my fingers searching for the hem of his shirt and I pull it over his head. I ache to feel him against me and I push my naked skin against his, our lips crashing together and I bite down harder than I wanted. I taste blood and he smirks against my mouth. I don't know how he'll explain that to his Wife, but I'm sure he'll think of something. He always does.
His hand softly caresses the skin of my abdomen and I moan letting go of his lip in the process. He kneels over me and pulls my hips up, with one hand he finds the zipper to my skirt and pulls it down, the sound echoing in the room. My skirt joins his shirt on the floor and I reach for him. My hands wander all over his body. His chest is strong and I can feel his heart beating erratically against it. I grip as much of his arms in my tiny hands as I can and pull him down onto me. I lose myself in the movement of our kiss, the sensations building inside me and I'm panting when he pulls away.
He begins to kiss a trail down my body and my hands follow him wrapped up in his curls. He lingers on my breasts, teasing them as I moan his name. I'm soaking and so ready for him, my hips crying out to him as I attempt to control their movements. His strong hands still me and his tongue teases me through the red lace and I trap him there, pushing him further into me. The idea that I could actually suffocate him barely enters my thoughts, and I loosen my grip mumbling an apology. He chuckles but never ceases his assault on my core.
I seek friction and arch my back begging for more contact. Will removes my panties, slowly, his eyes trained on mine and I confidently stare back. My body is buzzing and the heat is spreading everywhere.
I lick my lips when he begins to remove his jeans, watching hungrily as his erection springs free of it's constraints. I reach forward, feeling him through his blue stripped boxers. I love watching his face as he hardens even more in my hand, his eyes closed tightly, his lips parted, a low hiss escaping as I grip him tighter. He's beautiful and I wish he was all mine.
In a hurry he removes the last of his clothing and we're naked together, naked and sad and so in love. I'm breathing so hard, my chest rising and falling dramatically and I'm ashamed at how much I need him. I'm ashamed I'm even here right now, but it's the only place I want to be.
He crawls over me, I follow his lead and he hovers above me as my back flattens against the mattress. His lips are soft as he begins to kiss me. Passion is consuming us and it wouldn't matter if she came home right now. We are all that matters. I'm ashamed I feel that way.
I can feel him throbbing against my thigh, and my body is pulsating to his rhythm. He reaches between us and rubs himself over my opening. My loud moan is cut short by his mouth on mine as he pushes into me hard. I can't breathe as my body adjusts to him and his lips are all over my face and neck. I'm numb to everything but his presence.
His face is buried against my neck, home to his adoring words and I wish I could concentrate on them but I'm lost in our movements. I move with him, my hands clawing at his back, pulling him closer even though he can't get any closer. His lips are literally worshiping every inch of my skin he can reach. Our love making is always so passionate and I wonder if it's like this for everyone, or if we're special. I think we're special.
I flex my muscles and hear him groan as he reaches between us bringing me to the edge and holding me there torturously. I wrap my arms around his neck, our bodies moving together at a maddening pace and I force him to allow me my orgasm.
My body stiffens as waves of pleasure course through every inch of me, and Will confesses his love for me as he releases himself into me, his movements slowing until he's completely still.
It's over as fast as it started and I wonder what it would be like if we ever had a whole night to make love. To really spend time getting to know every inch of one another.
His body collapses on me and he kisses me long and hard. It's the beginning of our end. His arms encircle me and he pulls me to him, his face buried in my hair and I can feel his sweat against my skin. It doesn't bother me. I treasure it.
I'm so happy and so sad and I can't stop the tear from rolling down my cheek. The rough feel of his calloused thumb wiping it away causes another.
"I haven't been with her in months you know." I force a smile even though his words bring me little comfort. "I know."
"It's just...It's complicated, Emma." The words come crashing down with the fantasy of our relationship and I feel too exposed laying there completely nude and open to him. I reach to the floor and gather his forgotten shirt, pulling it over my head as I move from the bed to the bathroom. I can hear his soft sigh behind me.
I step into the bathroom and try to close the door before he gets to it, but a hand holds it open and I don't try to fight it. I cry in front of him and he's a perfect gentleman. He does and says all the right things. Promises of a future, promises of love and family and marriage. But just not right now.
He holds me in his arms for awhile. The tile floor cool against our skin and I know our time is up.
"It's almost 10. I have to go." I get up and he follows me like a lost puppy as I gather my clothing, dressing myself, until I'm standing at his front door again. I'm completely dressed and he's completely nude and I would give anything to be able to get back in bed and feel his body against mine all night.
He stands in front of me and brushes my hair from my face. "I may be able to come by on Tuesday. She has a Dr. Appointment." He looks as broken as I do and I have to wonder why this is so hard. If we love each other so much why aren't we together?
I nod, but I don't know what to say. I force a smile as I reach for the door knob but he stops me from opening it. His lips are against mine and he says with a kiss what he can't with words and for a moment I feel like everything will be alright.
I make my way to my car in the parking lot. It's parked as far from the entrance to Will's apartment as possible. I step inside and close the door behind myself. Starting the engine I glance in the rear-view mirror in time to see Terri's Sister dropping her off at the door to her home. The home she shares with the man I love.
It scares me and excites me that we almost got caught this time. I almost wish we had. Then this would be over. One way or the other I would finally know my future.
But he's worth the wait.
He was my first, my first love, my first moment of true intimacy, my first and continuing heartache.