A/N: I couldn't help myself...that is all I'm going to say in my defence...
Spoilers: Post Season 3...very slight spoilers
Pairings: None
Disclaimer: I do not own "Merlin"
Things Left Unsaid
Merlin was waiting for Arthur to make his appearance in the council chambers. Elyan, Gwaine, Lancelot, Percival, and Leon were sitting around on chairs along with, surprisingly, Gwen.
Well technically that wasn't very surprising. This was Arthur's council, as the Prince liked to call it. The Prince had been chosen as Regent and the first thing Arthur had done was form this council. His excuse to the older council members had been blunt and to the point:
"You were not there with me while I tried to save Camelot during Morgana's reign."
This had not only mollified the council members but had also sufficiently embarrassed them enough that they didn't say a word against the new council. It had been a funny scene. Merlin had been forced to hold back his chuckles at the mortified expressions on the old fools' faces.
Gwen was now indirectly a noble because Elyan was made an official Knight of Camelot. Not something anyone had planned, especially not Arthur, though the Prince was enjoying the benefits thoroughly. This was one of the big reasons why no one could argue about a servant being a part of the Regent's council.
With Merlin, he was there more as Arthur's servant than a member of the council. However, if Arthur turned to ask Merlin for any advice, the event was never mentioned.
It was the kind of relationship the two shared. They left it as master/servant although both knew deep inside that they were friends...very good friends. They'd never admit that for the world though because Arthur was...Arthur, and far too prideful to say anything as sentimental as that. Merlin, no matter how much the Prince liked to say was girly and emotional, also shied away from such overly sentimental ideas...unless in moments of severe duress...like Arthur dying.
So Arthur's council members had assembled in the chamber awaiting the Prince during the usual time. Arthur had taken to holding these council meetings every other day until otherwise notified. According to the Prince, they were important...according to Merlin it was just a way for the Prince to have some fun. When this had been mentioned to Arthur...a goblet had been chucked Merlin's way.
As Merlin was sitting with the others sharing a joke, the doors to the chamber were thrown open with such force that every occupant in the room flinched at the sound.
Merlin turned startled eyes to the doorway to be greeted with the sight of an enraged Arthur Pendragon. Confusion set in. Merlin hadn't seen that much anger in Arthur's eyes since the incident where Morgause had revealed the secret surrounding Arthur's birth.
Something was terribly wrong. He watched in panic as Arthur stepped in and locked the doors behind him. The Prince glanced around the room and his eyes landed on Merlin. The warlock blanched as Arthur's eyes darkened in anger some more.
Merlin watched Arthur stock forward, towards him. The tension in the room was so thick it could be cut with a knife. The Prince stopped a few paces away and hissed out, "How dare you?"
Merlin gulped and backed way then thought, 'Wait...I'm a powerful sorcerer...why am I backing away?' Then the warlock took notice of the Prince's tense muscles, the hands clenched around the handle of his sword, the thunderous eyes and thought, 'Screw it!'
And continued backing away holding his arms up in a pacifying gesture, "Arthur...what are you talking about?"
He saw the Prince's jaw clench as he said through gritted teeth, "You lied!"
Merlin blinked and his attention zeroed in on Arthur, suddenly very afraid of where this was going, "Um...you'll have to tell me..."
He didn't get to finish his statement because the Prince's words rang out across the room as he said, "How could you not tell me?"
Merlin panicked fearing the worse but he needed to make sure the Prince was talking about the same thing—although he had no idea how Arthur could have found out—that he was thinking.
"Arthur, you...are you talking about my..." He gulped unable to finish.
Arthur furiously said, "Yes! You kept it from me since the first day we met! How could you do this? You've lied. You've been lying for the past four years!"
Merlin knew he was done for. The warlock's face paled as he tried to regain some measure control of the quickly deteriorating situation, "Arthur...I didn't have a choice in the matter. It was necessary. I swear..."
Arthur grunted in annoyance saying, "How do you expect me to trust anything coming out of your mouth?"
It was around this time the others in the room had finally broken out of their shocked stupor. Gwen reached Arthur's side trying to speak calmly and said, "Arthur, maybe you should calm down. Merlin can explain himself."
Arthur whirled on her then and said, "Did you know too?" He turned to the rest of the people in the room saying angrily, "Did you all know?"
Everyone except Lancelot, exchanged confused and shocked glances. Arthur turned to Merlin and the warlock said in a strangled whisper, "No...Please Arthur...you don't understand."
That clearly didn't help the situation, "I don't understand! All this time...all this time...I thought you were..." Arthur trailed off with a frustrated yell.
Merlin was thoroughly hurt to see the Prince's fingers were still clenched tightly around the sword forcing the warlock to say in a dejected and angry whisper, "I thought you would kill me if you knew."
This brought the attention back to Merlin. Everyone who was confused didn't understand what was going on. They didn't understand what the topic of conversation was.
The warlock continued in the same dejected and angry voice, "I thought your views were similar to your father's and that once you knew you'd throw me in the dungeons to await my execution."
Arthur blinked as he stared at Merlin asking, "You really believed I would kill you?"
Merlin noticed the fight had left the Prince. Arthur was no longer radiating that angry fire as before and the warlock suddenly realized that something had gone terribly wrong.
Arthur whispered in a voice belying his hurt, "You expected me to hand you over to my father without thought..."
The sentence was left ringing in the silent air. Merlin blinked at the hurt pouring off of Arthur in waves. He'd never seen the Prince look that sad. It was disconcerting...and wrong. Arthur was the confrontational type who hated showing any form of emotion...except anger.
Merlin said, "Arthur..."
The Prince nodded once, turned and left the chambers. Merlin looked around in shock at the other members not comprehending what had just occurred. He slid to his knees and heard Gwaine whisper in an awed voice, "I think you...kind of...broke him..."
Merlin flinched, those words stabbing into him like a knife. He felt Lancelot come up to him and place a comforting hand on his shoulders.
Then Gwen said, "You need to speak to him Merlin. He has clearly misunderstood something."
Merlin recoiled at that saying, "He didn't completely misunderstand...I mean I was afraid of him killing me..."
Gwen rolled her eyes in exasperation saying, "Who are you trying to convince Merlin...yourself or me?"
Merlin turned shocked eyes to her as she continued speaking, "Whatever it is you've done...every single person in this room knows that Arthur would never harm a hair on your head...not unless he has a very good reason for it. You could have committed treason and he would have forgiven you."
Merlin winced at that and Gwen's eyes narrowed as she asked cautiously, "You've committed treason?"
Merlin nodded his head slowly and he brought his eyes to the floor saying softly, "I'm a sorcerer...that's the secret he found out...that's why I've been lying to him for so long."
A gasp went around the room and Lancelot decided to forestall any more oncoming inquires by asking, "How do you think he found out?"
Merlin shook his head saying, "I don't know...but this...I never wanted him to..."
Gwen recovered faster than anyone else saying, "You're an idiot Merlin... I always scolded Arthur when he called you that but right now..."
Merlin turned to her again looking rightly chagrined as he said, "I couldn't just tell him, he would've killed me!"
Gwen said, "No he wouldn't...even you know that. Stop lying to yourself!"
Merlin blinked now looking properly chastised as Gwen continued, "He wouldn't do that. Now go find him and tell him the real reason why you haven't said anything."
Merlin shook his head eyes wide, "What? Don't you remember what sort of arrogant prat he was in the beginning? He would have gladly put my head on the chopping block."
Merlin was shocked to hear a scoff from Leon this time and he turned to look at the Knight as Leon said, "Merlin...Arthur forcefully went to find a cure for you...he defied his father...you're the only person I know who got away with insulting him as much as you did...as much as you still do!"
Elyan and Percival nodded their heads at that. Elyan saying, "I don't think he would allow that much disrespect to go unpunished...it's only you who can speak to him like that."
Percival added in his quiet voice, "It was the same at the round table during Morgana's reign. No servant would be allowed to sit on the right side of the future King..."
Merlin's head lowered to the ground as he processed the words. It was true...everything they said was true. He knew it well actually...he'd always known it...always had an inkling that there was a very big possibility that Arthur would forgive him for his magic. There was another reason why Merlin hadn't told Arthur...
Gwaine narrowed his eyes at Merlin and asked, "Exactly why didn't you tell him later? I mean in the beginning he may have been insufferable but you wouldn't have stayed by his side this long if that was all there was to it."
Merlin avoided everyone's gaze cringing at the emotional drivel that was about to come pouring out of his mouth as he said, "I never wanted him to make a choice between his father and his friend. I never wanted him to be forced to lie to his father every day for me...you're right I knew he wouldn't kill me but Arthur would have been in constant turmoil at having to lie to his father...and everyone else too...I couldn't put him through that...the difference between me committing treason and the Crown Prince committing treason is huge. And if we were ever caught..." He trailed off there not wanting to voice his thoughts further.
Gwen spoke softly saying, "You should tell him that Merlin. I know you two share an odd relationship where both of you stay far, far away from emotions but this time it's necessary."
Merlin sighed then got to his feet looked around the room once and rushed out to look for Arthur.
Arthur stood on the battlements overlooking the town. He watched the people milling about doing their day to day chores. He envied them.
They didn't have to worry about anything. Arthur on the other hand had a kingdom to run, a father to please, people to protect...a sorcerer for a friend.
At that thought Arthur ground his teeth together viciously. The inferno that had been raging about his mind had been fanned further. To think someone he had considered a trusted friend had been lying to him for so long! A sorcerer of all things!
I thought you would kill me if you knew.
That sentence was like a splash of cold water, extinguishing the inferno. Merlin didn't trust him...had never trusted him. For four years...years that they'd spent together almost every single day...
Arthur had started to trust Merlin...he had considered Merlin a true friend. However, Merlin had clearly not felt the same.
It had come as a shock to Arthur to realize that from the moment he'd found out about Merlin's magic the only thing Arthur had been truly angry about was that Merlin hadn't told him.
Not that Merlin was a sorcerer...though that had come in the middle as well...Arthur had felt betrayed...
He sighed heavily. He was so confused. He didn't know what to think. His father's views said one thing but...Merlin was his friend...
The Prince continued to sift through the murky thoughts when he heard footsteps running towards him. He instinctively knew it was Merlin...he didn't need to turn around. Maybe it was because he'd known the servant for so long or because of something deeper than that...Arthur didn't know...but he didn't turn around to face Merlin. He was still angry, hurt, and betrayed.
He heard Merlin stop a few paces behind him panting breathlessly. It seemed the servant had run all over the palace looking for the Prince. That soothed some of the hurt like a balm. Merlin had been frantic and worried enough to run around looking for him.
"Arthur..."
The Prince didn't want to turn around...not yet...
"Arthur please...you have to believe me! I've never used my magic for anything else except protecting you and Camelot ever since I came here!...I'm not evil..."
Arthur blinked slightly surprised as he realized that he had never once, throughout all of this, considered Merlin as evil and he said, "I know..."
There was a sharp intake of breath behind him and he knew that he'd caught Merlin by surprise at that statement. Then he heard Merlin sigh and say, "Well...then what exactly are you angry about...?"
Arthur heard the underlying tone in Merlin's voice. The servant knew exactly what it was that had the Prince upset. Annoyed at that he said, "Don't ask me something you know the answer to already!"
Merlin sighed again, "You really think I could have told you when we met Arthur? You know very well around that time you would have had me executed without thought...later...later on..."
When Merlin trailed off Arthur asked softly, "Later on?...Why didn't you say anything later on?...No matter how much we deny the obvious...we were friends..."
Arthur had said it in the past tense on purpose and he knew Merlin had caught that because the servant uttered in a strangled whisper, "Arthur we're still friends..."
At this Arthur turned around and said, "No Merlin...you proved to me that you are not my friend. You not only lied to me but you didn't trust me with such a big secret."
Merlin turned anxious eyes to the Prince saying, "I didn't want you to have to choose! I didn't want to put you through that! Arthur please...I was just trying to protect you the only way I knew how! And you kept saying how magic was evil and the people who used it were as well...I didn't know what to do! I couldn't..."
Arthur felt guilt rise to the surface when he saw Merlin's eyes tearing up. The stupid idiot had always been emotional!
He sighed and turned away looking out towards the town again. He heard Merlin let out a sound so sad that Arthur's heart melted. He had never been able to stay angry at the fool for long anyways.
He could give Merlin a hug and forgive him. Arthur's face scrunched up in disgust at that suggestion. Stupid idiot was rubbing off on him too!
Arthur turned his head just slightly to see silent tears rolling down Merlin's cheeks. He sighed and then reached out a hand towards the servant's limp arms. He pulled Merlin to stand beside him.
He heard Merlin gasp slightly and look at the Prince in surprise. Arthur turned away from the disconcertingly hopeful blue eyes and towards the town once more.
He knew he needed to say something and since he'd always been uncomfortable with emotional confrontations he said, "So can you turn people into toads?"
He heard Merlin give a chuckle and felt his heart lighten. He knew they needed to have a serious conversation but for now this was enough. He had forgiven Merlin. After all, the idiot was far too loyal for his own good.
Arthur would think about lying to his father to keep Merlin safe later.
He heard Merlin whisper softly, "Arthur...I'm sorry..."
Arthur smiled and said, "Does that mean you can turn people into toads then?"
A/N: And that's the end of that...I was thinking of maybe typing up a funny bit as the ending, but this is just perfect. Leaves you guys enough to have fun with! Let your imaginations run wild! Also, for readers of "Bonds of Destiny" I am working on it just give me some time please! Hope you all enjoyed this! Please review and tell me how it was!