a/n: yeah, it's clichéd, and yeah, it's a song fic, but I wanted to give it a shot: my domestic abuse piece. It's wrong to love a song about the subject, but man those Red Jump Suit Apparatus guys have a great song in Face Down

No, I don't own these characters, probably a good thing since they wouldn't be as good, and would be more perverted.

Beta'd by the girl with the pixie spy magic for grammar: Chazzer

Face Down

River flew back from the slap across her face and landed on the floor in a heap.

"Ya know I love ya girl," he told her. "But you can't act like that." Curling his fingers into a fist over and over again, he said "don't need a crazy woman, need a whole woman, and you are a sorry excuse for one."

"Didn't mean it," River whispered. "My fault, try not to be crazy, just happens."

He lifted her into his arms and kissed her forehead, it could have been considered gentle and loving, if a person hadn't witnessed the beating that took place moments earlier.

"That's a girl," he told her. "Let's get ya cleaned up and then we can have a bit of fun 'fore I go to sleep."

She tried not to wince, it would be painful for her, but if he knew, that would only make it worse.

River had no one to love her.

He was the only one who would. She deserved to have the feng le beat out of her. At first, the beatings really did help clear her head, but more and more, she was beginning to wonder if she was really all that crazy. She must be because he would get mad at her for spewing gibberish, not making herself clear, even reading his mind accidentally.

Nobody but him loved her, and if he didn't protect her, she might end up back at the Academy.

River woke the next morning sore all over. He was already gone. Relief spread through her body, she didn't want him to see her limp around, reminding him she was weak.

But, she wasn't weak, just crazy.

Turning her head to the wave monitor she noticed a message there. She turned it on and smiled despite her pain. Simon and Kaylee.

"The girls would love to see you," Simon spoke. "Delia's birthday is coming up, so we're having a party. Come, please. We haven't seen you in ages."

"Yeah!" Kaylee agreed, she was smiling so brightly that River's heart clenched. "Come, bring that man of yours too."

"Love you River!" the girls spoke.

She turned the wave off and looked around the room. Someone loved her. He told her no one did, she had forgotten. It had been so long since she'd heard it.

River wanted to go to the party, but he would forbid it. But who was he to forbid her? Wheels turned in her mind, making more sense, thoughts being linked, synapses and neurons firing. Puzzle pieces coming together. She would leave this, all of it.

It occurred to her briefly to leave before he came back. No. She wanted to see his face when she stood up to him. Tell him he was wrong. He couldn't hide her away from the

world. She was going to bloom in the sun, not wilt in the dark.

When he returned home he was dusty and dirty. She smiled at him.

"What're you so happy 'bout?" he hollered. "Didn't make no money today. Nothing to be smilin' 'bout."

"Going to see Simon and Kaylee and Delia and Addy," she sang to him.

"No you ain't!" he yelled. "You got things to do here, can't be runnin' off, ain't safe anyway."

"Safe with Simon," River stated. "Safety gone from here."

"Don't go talkin' all crazy," he warned.

"Better with Simon and Kaylee, better than here," she continued.

Grabbing her arm he pulled back to punch her. She took the punch and fell to the floor.

"You do as I say," he told her. "Nobody loves you like I do. Not even your ruttin' brother. You ain't goin' nowhere."

"A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect," River spoke from the floor. "Every action in this world will bear a consequence, if you wade around forever you will surely drown. I will surely drown."

"You know what that feng le talk will getcha," he warned again.

"Face down in the dirt," River continued. "She says this doesn't hurt, I finally had enough."

He reached down and pulled her up by her shirt. He pulled back for another punch, but this time she stopped his hand with a force he didn't know she had. It gave him pause for a moment, but only a moment. Reaching up with his other hand he attempted to slap her. River grabbed that hand, then using the leverage, crossed her arms and his and pulled him over her head. Landing behind her he moaned.

"Don't follow me," River commanded.

As she approached Simon and Kaylee's home, two small girls came running at her. Enveloping her in a hug, they chattered away about events that transpired since she had seen them last.

"Delia swallowed a bug!" Addy divulged. "Daddy said you did it once, but I don't believe him."

"I believe him," Delia added. "You did huh, Aunt River?"

"Yes," River answered, while walking hand in hand with each girl towards the house.

Kaylee and Simon met her on the porch and hugged her tightly.

"Mei mei," Simon said, "I'm so glad you're here. What's that on your face?" he had noticed the large welt on her cheek.

"A reminder," River told him cryptically.

"For what?" Kaylee asked concerned.

"Not to go back," River whispered, then turned happy again. "Where's the cake?"

"Right in here," Kaylee explained, she would have to talk to River later about that answer and the bruise.

As River walked into their home she felt love all around her. People loved her.

"Hey," a gruff voice came from across the room. "Didn't expect to be seein' ya here, how'd you get away, little witch?"

"Tossed him on the ground," River told Jayne. "Then walked away."