This is in response to Challenge #182 from the Helipolis challenges which I
found last night. The challenge was to write a fanfic that involved:
1. General Hammond showing Teal'c how to "Really square dance." 2. Daniel and Sam swing dancing in the infirmary. 3. Janet saying "You people are all nut balls, I'm going to my office to eat a fruit cake." 4. Jack getting somehow hung from the top of the Stargate. 5. The phrase "Get your butt back in here before I call Rodney King!" 6. And....Daniel getting shot by a zat gun for a really stupid purpose. REALLY STUPID.
I'm sorry if this is rubbish. I don't own the Stargate stuff etc etc, don't sue me.
The Night of the Full Moon
It was a typical night in the mountain, the team had just got back from a mission and were going through the routine medical in the infirmary. Daniel was sitting cross-legged on one bed, Sam and leaning against the end of it, Jack was sitting with his back against the wall and Teal'C was standing in his typical posture, back straight, arms behind his back, quietly observing his team-mates. "Did you know it's a full moon tonight?" Sam asked to no-one in particular. Jack grinned and started howling. Until Daniel threw a tissue box at him. "Ow! That corner was hard!" Jack threw the box back. "Stop it you two." Janet said as she finished writing things down. "You're all fine, but I'm suggesting that no one drives home tonight, it's very foggy out there and there's a lot of black ice on the roads." "What!" Daniel, Jack and Sam said. Teal'C lived in the mountain anyway. "Well it's your lives but personally, I'm staying here for tonight." Janet said as she wandered off to her office. There was silence for a few minutes. Then Daniel shrugged. "Well, there's still lots of fun to have here." He said. "Like what?" Jack asked, looking bored already. "Well.erm.hey Teal'C do you know how to dance?" "I am afraid I do not DanielJackson, though I have seen it at times on the television. It is a mating ritual is it not?" "Erm, kinda, not really, but there you go, we can teach Teal'C how to dance." "As long as he doesn't try to take someone back to his room." Sam muttered. "Okay Daniel, but who here knows how to dance?" "Well I know several, the swing." "I know how to swing dance!" Sam said. "There we go, look, we'll give you a demo." Daniel and Sam immediately moved to the middle of the room and proceeded to swing dance, as best they could without music. "What on earth are you doing?" Janet asked, re-emerging from her office. "Teaching Teal'C how to dance." Sam explained. "Sam hun, that's Daniel you're dancing with." Janet said, wondering if she should have run more tests. "I know, this is a demonstration." "Oh, right." Janet watched for a few more moments, then shook her head "You people are all nut balls, I'm going to my office to eat a fruit cake." No one heard her. "Could someone offer me an explanation for this behaviour?" General Hammond boomed from the doorway. Daniel and Sam stopped in mid-swing. "General Hammond sir. Well as the Doc here warned us about all the fog and ice outside we decided to stay here for tonight and Daniel suggested teaching Teal'C how to dance." Jack explained. "Dance?" "Yes sir, erm, you wouldn't happen to know any would you?" Daniel asked. Hammond smiled. "As a matter of fact I can square dance." "Square dance?" Teal'C asked, one eyebrow raised. "Oh I can do that too." Daniel tried to show him. "No no, look, this place doesn't have enough space, we'll go to the gate room and I'll teach you all how to really square dance."
later, in the gate room
"That's good, that's good!" Hammond said, he'd managed to teach SG-1 how to square dance. "I would like to try the swing now DanielJackson." Teal'C said. "Erm, okay, you partner Jack and then me and Sam will show you guys what to do and you can copy. Erm, Jack I would suggest you take the female lead. I don't think you'd be able to pick up Teal'C." Jack sighed and watched as Daniel and Sam did something that looked really complicated, it involved Sam's feet not touching the floor for a few moments and strong arm-muscles from Daniel. "Now, you two try it." Jack walked over to Teal'C, who promptly picked him up and tried to do what Daniel and Sam had done. Unfortunately, Jack wasn't quite ready and suddenly he slipped out of Teal'C's grip mid-swing. And ended up hanging from the top of the gate. "Oh my god, hang on sir we'll get you down!" Sam said, hurrying out to find a ladder. Daniel was trying not to laugh and Teal'C simply looked up at Jack. "Are you well O'Neill?" "Oh just great, fine, dandy even. Just get me down quickly before I fall." Sam came back with Siler and a ladder. After several minutes of 'Er' 'Um' and 'Oops' Jack was eventually brought down. "That is the last time I swing dance with you Teal'C." He patted his stomach. "Does build up an appetite though, I'm going to the commissary, anyone want to come?" Everyone left and went to the commissary, halfway there Sam started patting her trousers. Jack looked at her. "Carter, what are you doing?" "I think I've lost the Zat gun sir. Oh wait, here it is." Sam brought it out of her pocket. Jack sighed, and held his hand out. "Give it here." "But colonel!" Jack started tickling her. "Colonel! Stop it." Unfortunately she squeezed the zat gun too hard and it opened. "Opps." For a split second the pressure on the gun lessened, then she squeezed her hand again, the zat gun went off. And hit Daniel. "Daniel!" Jack shouted as the archaeologist fell to the floor twitching. Carter looked over at him. "Oh no, Daniel, I'm so sorry!" Carter crawled over to him. "We've you to get him to the Infirmary sir!" Jack picked Daniel up and took him to the infirmary. "Hey Doc, got a little problem here." Janet emerged from her office. "Daniel? Colonel explain this!" "Sam shot Daniel with a zat gun." "Why?" "Because the Colonel was tickling me!" Well, that makes perfect sense." Janet remarked as she checked Daniel. Sam started to edge towards the door, then made a break for it. "Carter! Get your butt back in here before I call Rodney King!" Jack shouted as he came after her. Daniel sighed, closed his eyes and damned the full moon.
The End
1. General Hammond showing Teal'c how to "Really square dance." 2. Daniel and Sam swing dancing in the infirmary. 3. Janet saying "You people are all nut balls, I'm going to my office to eat a fruit cake." 4. Jack getting somehow hung from the top of the Stargate. 5. The phrase "Get your butt back in here before I call Rodney King!" 6. And....Daniel getting shot by a zat gun for a really stupid purpose. REALLY STUPID.
I'm sorry if this is rubbish. I don't own the Stargate stuff etc etc, don't sue me.
The Night of the Full Moon
It was a typical night in the mountain, the team had just got back from a mission and were going through the routine medical in the infirmary. Daniel was sitting cross-legged on one bed, Sam and leaning against the end of it, Jack was sitting with his back against the wall and Teal'C was standing in his typical posture, back straight, arms behind his back, quietly observing his team-mates. "Did you know it's a full moon tonight?" Sam asked to no-one in particular. Jack grinned and started howling. Until Daniel threw a tissue box at him. "Ow! That corner was hard!" Jack threw the box back. "Stop it you two." Janet said as she finished writing things down. "You're all fine, but I'm suggesting that no one drives home tonight, it's very foggy out there and there's a lot of black ice on the roads." "What!" Daniel, Jack and Sam said. Teal'C lived in the mountain anyway. "Well it's your lives but personally, I'm staying here for tonight." Janet said as she wandered off to her office. There was silence for a few minutes. Then Daniel shrugged. "Well, there's still lots of fun to have here." He said. "Like what?" Jack asked, looking bored already. "Well.erm.hey Teal'C do you know how to dance?" "I am afraid I do not DanielJackson, though I have seen it at times on the television. It is a mating ritual is it not?" "Erm, kinda, not really, but there you go, we can teach Teal'C how to dance." "As long as he doesn't try to take someone back to his room." Sam muttered. "Okay Daniel, but who here knows how to dance?" "Well I know several, the swing." "I know how to swing dance!" Sam said. "There we go, look, we'll give you a demo." Daniel and Sam immediately moved to the middle of the room and proceeded to swing dance, as best they could without music. "What on earth are you doing?" Janet asked, re-emerging from her office. "Teaching Teal'C how to dance." Sam explained. "Sam hun, that's Daniel you're dancing with." Janet said, wondering if she should have run more tests. "I know, this is a demonstration." "Oh, right." Janet watched for a few more moments, then shook her head "You people are all nut balls, I'm going to my office to eat a fruit cake." No one heard her. "Could someone offer me an explanation for this behaviour?" General Hammond boomed from the doorway. Daniel and Sam stopped in mid-swing. "General Hammond sir. Well as the Doc here warned us about all the fog and ice outside we decided to stay here for tonight and Daniel suggested teaching Teal'C how to dance." Jack explained. "Dance?" "Yes sir, erm, you wouldn't happen to know any would you?" Daniel asked. Hammond smiled. "As a matter of fact I can square dance." "Square dance?" Teal'C asked, one eyebrow raised. "Oh I can do that too." Daniel tried to show him. "No no, look, this place doesn't have enough space, we'll go to the gate room and I'll teach you all how to really square dance."
later, in the gate room
"That's good, that's good!" Hammond said, he'd managed to teach SG-1 how to square dance. "I would like to try the swing now DanielJackson." Teal'C said. "Erm, okay, you partner Jack and then me and Sam will show you guys what to do and you can copy. Erm, Jack I would suggest you take the female lead. I don't think you'd be able to pick up Teal'C." Jack sighed and watched as Daniel and Sam did something that looked really complicated, it involved Sam's feet not touching the floor for a few moments and strong arm-muscles from Daniel. "Now, you two try it." Jack walked over to Teal'C, who promptly picked him up and tried to do what Daniel and Sam had done. Unfortunately, Jack wasn't quite ready and suddenly he slipped out of Teal'C's grip mid-swing. And ended up hanging from the top of the gate. "Oh my god, hang on sir we'll get you down!" Sam said, hurrying out to find a ladder. Daniel was trying not to laugh and Teal'C simply looked up at Jack. "Are you well O'Neill?" "Oh just great, fine, dandy even. Just get me down quickly before I fall." Sam came back with Siler and a ladder. After several minutes of 'Er' 'Um' and 'Oops' Jack was eventually brought down. "That is the last time I swing dance with you Teal'C." He patted his stomach. "Does build up an appetite though, I'm going to the commissary, anyone want to come?" Everyone left and went to the commissary, halfway there Sam started patting her trousers. Jack looked at her. "Carter, what are you doing?" "I think I've lost the Zat gun sir. Oh wait, here it is." Sam brought it out of her pocket. Jack sighed, and held his hand out. "Give it here." "But colonel!" Jack started tickling her. "Colonel! Stop it." Unfortunately she squeezed the zat gun too hard and it opened. "Opps." For a split second the pressure on the gun lessened, then she squeezed her hand again, the zat gun went off. And hit Daniel. "Daniel!" Jack shouted as the archaeologist fell to the floor twitching. Carter looked over at him. "Oh no, Daniel, I'm so sorry!" Carter crawled over to him. "We've you to get him to the Infirmary sir!" Jack picked Daniel up and took him to the infirmary. "Hey Doc, got a little problem here." Janet emerged from her office. "Daniel? Colonel explain this!" "Sam shot Daniel with a zat gun." "Why?" "Because the Colonel was tickling me!" Well, that makes perfect sense." Janet remarked as she checked Daniel. Sam started to edge towards the door, then made a break for it. "Carter! Get your butt back in here before I call Rodney King!" Jack shouted as he came after her. Daniel sighed, closed his eyes and damned the full moon.
The End