MISTER C
Take Twilight, Aladdin, and pure boredom, and put it all together, and this is what you get. I consider this my second best anti-Twilight Disney-influenced song, behind "Be My Guest". Enjoy yourselves, mates.
Original Song © Howard Ashman and Alan Menken
Twilight © Stephenie Meyer (by hook or by crook, it is)
Lyrics © unicorn-skydancer08
All rights reserved.
Make way, it's Ed Cullen
Say hey! It's Ed Cullen
There's this new guy, really quite bizarre
It's true, I tell you
Twinkles like a star
Beware—be sure you are not caught in his golden eye!
Look out, here he comes!
Sound the warning drums!
Are you gonna fear this guy!
Mr. C.
Scary is he!
Mr. Ed Cullen!
He's a flake, a true-blue fake
Oh, believe me
Nobody knows where he's from
He's as phony as they come
And yet all of the girls go totally crazy
Mr. C.
Bogus is he!
Mr. Ed Cullen!
Strong as ten regular men,
Definitely!
No one beats him in a race
Yet he looks grim in the face
Who makes vampires a disgrace?
Why, Mr. C.!
He's the poster boy for pretentiousness
He's best known as the vampire fairy
When it comes to exceptional madness
This guy wins the prize
That's no surprise
It's a worldwide menagerie
Mr. C.
Shocking is he!
Mr. Ed Cullen!
That physique, how can I speak?
Weak at the knee
You'll find this guy everywhere
He's here, the next thing he's there
He can smite girls with one stare
It's Mr. C.!
There's no question this Edward's creepy
He is really nothing short of freaky
Everything about the guy is just downright wrong
He's a loser, he's a louse and a lout
Dracula could easily take him out
Count von Count could kick his rear end clear to Hong Kong!
This dude's got dozens of dippy fan girls
(Those silly fan girls, those nutty fan girls)
In every town, every last city
(He's popular, so popular)
In every nation across the whole world
(Proud to follow him)
They bow to his whim, love serving him
They're just lousy with loyalty
To Eddie!
Mr. C.!
Mr. C.!
Bothersome he!
Mr. Ed Cullen!
You will never have another moment's peace
And that, good people, is why
You must watch out for this guy
Ask no more questions, just bolt the door
Shield your face against the sparklies galore
Don't let yourself be caught
Don't give him a thought
Folks, trust me; take it from me
Just flee
From Mr. C.!