Angels are not human. That is what you must remember if you ever encounter one. They do not have souls, nor bodies. They are multidimensional wavelengths of celestial intent who do not serve humanity, no matter what you may have been told. They are soldiers, not babysitters. You have been warned, and may God help you if you choose to ignore that.
Dean took in a deep breath as he put his hand on the door knob. He could go in, face the consequences of what he had done. Face Castiel. Or he could just walk away, away from his life, away from the mess he made out of it. Away from his angel.
No. There was only one thing he could do. He took a few more deep breaths, preparing himself for what lay before him. Then he opened the door, confident that he had made the right decision not to run. God that confidence disappeared as soon as he saw him.
"Dean."
As they are multidimensional, they exist in multiple different lives, where they can be anything from angelic or human. Of course, these lives are all anchored down to one main life, the life that God had created for all of them. They called this the Paradise Life, where Armageddon would take place and they would live in peace. Where they could be happy.
The two boys ran - well tried to - out of the hospital, jumping behind the flower beds and trees excitedly as they tried to find a place to hide. Dean held Castiel's oxygen tank carefully, before putting it down at the tree beside the bush they were hidden in. Castiel was taking deep breaths, and only stopped to give Dean a quick smile of thanks.
Nurse Abaddon's scrubs were at their feet, the neat pile they had put them in undone, the dirt on them clearly visible. They were going to be in sooo much trouble when she found them. They could imagine her face scrunched up in anger, searching the hospital like her life depended on it. They laughed in delight, and for once, for once in their godforsaken lives, they felt happy. As if they weren't dying. As if they were cured of all their worries.
And they pushed their faces together as soon as this realisation dawned on them, their lips locked in a kiss. If they were dying, they may as well enjoy the ride out. For once Dean forgot about his leg, the same way Castiel forgot about his lungs. They were dying, and they couldn't care less.
Because dying couldn't be so bad if it meant they could be together.
On the rare occasion that you should encounter an angel, keep in mind how they are not capable of showing human emotion. They are soldiers, trained for battle since they were old enough to hold a blade. All emotion that they may have has long since been hardened by battle, turned into a weakness. They have long since been allowed to show emotion. Why, I do not know.
"Why is Lucifer leaving Gaby?" Gabriel let out a weak smile as he met his little brother's gaze. Of course Castiel didn't understand. Poor little Castiel, who loved more than any angel he had ever met. Poor little Castiel, who just wanted everyone to be happy.
Who would never understand why Michael had to send Lucifer to Hell. Why Michael sent him to Hell.
Two decrees that were entirely different, but yet entirely the same.
Angels love humans, but not in the way you would imagine. They love them because they were told to, not because they actually love them. This too, is important to remember.
Castiel heard the signature wing flap before he saw him. Debriel had returned. To do what? To bug him about his duties with being Michael's One True Vessel? To tell him to stay away from Samandriel, even if they were brothers? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.
"Oh hello, great Assbutt of the Lord. I am not worthy of your presence." Debriel, or Dean as Cas liked to call him, just rolled his eyes in reply, long since used to his charge's sarcastic ways. "Somehow I don't think you came to say hello."
"You're right." Dean said, looking around suspiciously as if demons were about to jump from under the beds. He was probably the most paranoid angel Castiel ever had the misfortune of meeting. "We need to talk." Before he could stop him, Dean was flying away, dragging the Vessel with him.
Perhaps there is a reason for this. I have long since stopped searching for this reason.
Castiel watched as the brothers climbed into their car. Car. He liked that word. Humans were so clever sometimes. He just couldn't understand why none of his brothers thought the same, why no one did. Anael had been the only angel who did, and she was long since gone. She had Fallen, her love of humans too strong to just live a life of watching them.
So he had to watch these brothers now, mini Michael and Lucifer as Anna used to call them. That was, of course, when she talked about them to Castiel, telling him about their bravery and merit. She spoke very highly of them, leaving very high expectations of them to Castiel. Which were met almost immediately.
But now Dean had made the demon deal. Heaven was in celebration, counting down the days until he would be sent to Hell. Castiel didn't know why he wasn't with them, why he was watching the two humans sadly.
There are obvious exceptions, angels who care for humans of their own accord. Angels who love them wholeheartedly just because they can. These angels are impossibly rare, as you can imagine.
"Dean! You left the oven on. Again. I can't believe I married you. Can excessive oven-leaving-on file for divorce? Because I am seriously considering it." Dean smiled as he listened to his husband tease him over the phone. Just another hour, and he could leave the school, and go home to Castiel who, luckily, didn't have to work on Tuesdays. Until then, he had voicemail to keep him happy.
"Mr. Winchester, why are you smiling stupidly?" The class laughed as their teacher blushed, and Jo and Charlie were in the middle of it all, egging them on. "You can't be happy with us around. We have a deal! You make us miserable are we make you miserable!"
"Hey, I never made you guys miserable." Dean turned off his phone as he directed his attentions back to his students, who were the real ones who were smiling stupidly.
"You did when you made us write an twelve page essay about Alexander Hamilton." Jo shouted up, causing more laughs throughout the room.
"And I really did enjoy the four pages you wrote about his supposed affair with John Laurens." He said, causing Jo to shout about 'how it happened' and how 'lt was real!'
God, he couldn't wait until that bell rang and he could go home.
The names of these angels have long since left my mind. All I know is that there was one, one who cared about them more than he cared about himself.
Who would give up his own life without a second thought.
"Dean... Please... I know your in there. You can fight him... I know you can. Just don't give up! No matter what he does, what he says-" Castiel was cut off by a punch to Jimmy's jaw, causing several teeth to fall out. He was still tied to the chair, completely cut off from help, from safety, and now... And now Michael had the nerve to punch him while wearing Dean.
It was really not his day.
"You know Cas." No, no, oh God no. Michael couldn't call him that. Not like this. Not while masquerading as Dean. "I still remember when we first met. A bit hard to miss, you were. With your ugly wings as black as night and your ugly name. You told me that Father loved us all. Equally. Tell me, Cas. Does he love you now? Does he love us all?" Michael whispered, using Enochian so it would be impossible for Castiel to miss it.
He continued whispering while his brother squirmed, taking it as a sign that he was breaking him. "Castiel. To Fall From God. Nice name isn't it? I mean, to be disgraced is one thing. Imagine our Father, who you say loves you, disgracing you from birth. Imagine that."
"Dean please-" He was cut off by another sharp punch to the jaw.
"Did I say you could talk brother? Did I?" Castiel moaned in reply, the pain of the beatings taking its toll. Michael had his Grace trapped, caught between two small handcuffs. And to think that Castiel thought that he could win against Michael. To think that he thought he could stop Armageddon, stop Michael from killing Lucifer.
"Buckle up Cas. Your the new Lucifer. And I have plenty of energy left." Michael disappeared, leaving Castiel to listen to the celebrations of his brothers and sisters as they celebrated Paradise, the Paradise that he would never get to see.
After all, he was the new Lucifer, Heaven's newest enemy.
And God forbid if he ever saw the light of day again.
Perhaps angels do have emotions, but they are buried deep down, their fear controlling their every movement. After all, the first angel to rebel, to exercise their free will was Lucifer. And they all saw what happened to him. What Michael, kind and loving Michael, did to him. Perhaps they need another rebel, one who understands the importance of free thought and will.
Perhaps God will give them one in their Paradise Life, one to show them what to do. Perhaps He will give this angel a human to teach it what to do, what to say. Perhaps.
- Anna Milton, To Know An Angel.