Disclaimer:
I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, but I still have Kenshin locked in my closet…or actually, I threw him and Kurama out the window to save my friend's butt. Did you know that Kenshin is a pizza delivery person? Yes, in my own little world of insanity, I have made Kenshin a pizza delivery boy…uh…no, I'm not insane, why do you ask? Did they even have pizza back then? I wonder…
Also, I don't own the song Broken it belongs to Seether (and Amy Lee, I guess).
Nothing much to say. I hope you enjoy this, and if you didn't, please tell me ways I can improve my writing. By now you should know that I like writing character death fics, so if you have some problem with Kaoru dying, leave NOW. There's a reason why this is Romance/Tragedy, alright?
...last warning...
POV change
-lyrics-
'thoughts'
Kenshin's POV
Why did I go? Was I scared? Scared that if I stayed, we'd fall in love? Or maybe we already had…
But as I wrote out a letter to send to her, I couldn't put into words what I wanted to say. How can you explain to the one you love why you left her, if you don't even know yourself? How can you capture into words how her laughs could brighten up your day and blow away the storm of madness in your mind?
And I've always wanted to protect her, and I wish I could, but whenever I get near her I only cause her more pain; more suffering. She would not miss this one. I wondered if it was perhaps not meant to be…maybe we were not meant to be…
'Kaoru-dono…'
-I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high, and steal your pain away-
Sitting against a tree, watching the sakura blossoms fall, I felt at ease. Maybe I was meant to be a rurouni- a wanderer, with no absolute destination. I held in my hands a photograph of her, taken around when we first met. Why did trouble always follow us, and ruin our happiness? What did Kaoru-dono do to deserve this? I could see how I was deserving of living a life of misery, but not her. Without me, she would be happier, like she was before we'd met. And truly, the only way we could be together was to be apart…
Still, nobody understands what we shared, or how I could possibly be closer to her by leaving her.
-I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain-
But then, I realized how foolish I was being; how I could not live without Kaoru-dono in my life, because without her, there was no point in living. Suddenly getting up, I headed towards town-the very town I'd been sure not to visit since I left nearly half a year ago.
As I dashed down the dirt path that is the street, just before I reached Akabeko, a group of seemingly drunk thugs circled around me. Though it was still daylight (though nearing sunset), the people were gathered on the other side of town for some festival. I narrowed my eyes, and quickly engaged in battle, eager to finish and find her. I gripped the sheath of my sword tightly, then removed it, easily taking the first thug out.
Less than a few minutes later, I'd been able to finish off the weak thugs, and I put away my sakabatou.
Nothing would get between us anymore…not even my own foolishness.
-'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away-
I continued to run as fast as I could, but stopped suddenly.
'What if Kaoru-dono doesn't understand…or doesn't feel as this one does? Then all this will have been for nothing…'
Putting my hand over my heart, I closed my eyes, and thought deeply through my doubts, trying to push them aside.
-You've gone away, you don't feel me here…anymore-
Kaoru's POV
I had been at the festival, but I'd also been heading towards Akabeko, where I'd offered to go and get something for Tae-san. I hid behind a wall as I saw someone I thought I'd never see again…
'K-Kenshin…'
As soon as I knew he'd finished off those men, I'd ran over to him, and hugged him tight, though he seemed to be lost in his own little world. I felt tears roll down my cheeks as I buried my face in his chest.
-The worst is over now, and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away-
I saw him open his eyes slowly, looking down at me, staring in wonder.
'Could he have been thinking of me? …Don't be silly…'
He smiled slightly and I could sense he was about to hug me back, but then his eyes widened, and he went limp in my arms. My lip trembled, and I tried to hold him up, but found I couldn't, and we both stumbled to the ground.
"Kenshin! K-Kenshin, wake up!" I shook him, but his eyes were tightly shut, and blood was spilt on the ground. I looked up in terror at the attacker, and he swiftly lifted me up by one arm. I screamed in pain, as he held a dagger up to my neck. More tears streamed down my face and I looked away.
Though it wasn't the time to be thinking this, I still had no clue as to why Kenshin left me-or rather, us (Sano, Yahiko…) and I wished Kenshin were still conscious. I smiled very slightly.
'He'd save me…just like he always does…'
-There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain-
A pain shot up my spine-or rather, a sort of shock did. What if he'd actually killed Kenshin?!
"Put me down now!! You…you coward!" I screamed at him, and was answered by a harsh slap to the face.
"Listen, lady! Either you can leave the guy here and come with me willingly, or I can just drag you by the hair without a second thought!!" he yelled in my face, and I tried not to show the fear and pain I was feeling inside.
'Kenshin…what would I do without you? I'd…be so empty inside…'
I knew that there was no way I could escape, and I let my head hang low, and sobbed silently once more.
-'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough-
Before the man could say any more, I heard a battle cry, and a grunt, as I fell to the ground, the man dropping me.
"Kaoru!" Yahiko ran over to me, trying to lift me up on his own. I also saw Sano rush over to Kenshin, and he quickly lifted him onto his shoulder. I tried to give a slight smile, but quickly felt everything fade into darkness, with the last thing seen being my friends.
-'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away-
Later on…
I sat up, gasping for breath, as the memories of what I thought to be earlier flooded my mind.
"Kenshin! Where's Kenshin?!" I asked, worried that he may have died.
Yahiko rushed over to me smiling, "Kaoru! So I guess you were too stubborn to stay knocked out for too long, huh?"
Ignoring his insult, I asked again, "Where is he?!"
Yahiko frowned and said, "He's in the other room, but…Dr. Genzai said he…he might not make it…" My eyes widened, and I got up, ignoring the slightly aches I felt, and went into the room where I saw Kenshin laid down on his stomach, with a bandage across his back.
"Kenshin…" I couldn't stand to see him hurt like that anymore, but as I tried to make my way out of the room, I could hear Megumi explaining to Sano that the man hadn't just stabbed Kenshin, he'd slashed him badly…nearly severing his spinal cord. I covered my ears and continued to run.
-'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough-
'I can't live like this anymore…this life of solitude…'
It may've only been a knife for chopping up vegetables, but it was quite effective. I'd taken it from the kitchen, and left to be outside by myself on the steps of the dojo.
'If he dies…then so will I. I can't live without him, I just can't…'
Without a second thought, I quickly pulled the blade across my skin, seeing the redness of my blood, and holding back tears from the pain, while trying not to cry out.
'Goodbye, Kenshin…I know I'll see you soon…'
-'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away-
Kenshin's POV
I slowly opened my eyes, not getting up because of the stinging feeling in my back.
Immediately worried, I asked, "Where is Kaoru-dono? Is she alright?" I tried to stay calm, but I knew something was wrong.
Sanosuke came in, carrying her in his arms, his eyes shadowed by his hair.
"…" I was speechless, and for one of the first times ever, I felt tears falling from my eyes.
-'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone…-
A Year Later…
I couldn't stay around the familiar faces, the friends. They brought back too many memories. I walked over to a grave, and reached out to touch it.
"Kaoru-dono…you'll always be in my heart…that you will…" I traced the letters of her name, "Kaoru Kamiya" slowly, and got sadder by the second.
'Why would you do this…why? Just for me? You really thought I was going to die…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
Maybe if I hadn't come back for you, you'd still be alive.'
As usual, I was the cause for her pain, her suffering, her misery…
and now even her death…
-You've gone away, you don't feel me here…anymore-
I was crying when I was writing this. Sorry if it was kind of hard to understand. I wrote this in only a few hours, give me some credit here! Please review if you have the time. I'm trying to get at least ten reviews on all of my fics. I think the only ones that don't have at least ten are my Taking Over Me and Breaking The Habit songfics. So, if you haven't read those, Taking Over Me is another Kenshin/Kaoru songfic, and Breaking The Habit is a Keiko/Yusuke Yu Yu Hakusho songfic. Like I said, please review. I love this pairing (Kenshin/Kaoru) so if you have any suggestions for a fic, just name it!