Disclaimer: They all belong to DPB, CBS and Paramount, I am just playing with them and giving them back in one piece, ok maybe I keep Harm a little longer.
LOVE IN TIMES OF CHAOS
Austin Ranch
Texas
Meg was sitting in the kitchen. A half-full glass of snapple in front of her on the kitchentable.
She was thinking about life in general, since the day she had left Washington DC, since she had accepted the offer to join the CIA her life had turned upside down. Oh yes she was a brave woman, had earned the purple heart for her courage but she had lost something. She had lost the one she loved with heart and soul. Harm was in Washington DC, thinking she didn't love him.
Now she was sitting in front of a notepad, smoking more cigarettes then she had intended to and still no word written. There was so much she wanted to tell him, mostly she had to explain the story of the pregnancy test she had forgotten in his apartment the day she left, two years ago. Their daughter was sleeping soundly at the moment. She looked like her father, dark curls framing her face and she had the patented Rabb-killersmile.
With a sigh Meg picked up the pen and started to write:
"Dear Harm,
I know you haven't heard from me in two years and maybe you have your own life by now but I couldn't forget you. I couldn't forget you and the wonderful times we shared, our time in the Holiday Inn, dancing in the moonlight. I still got your face painted on my heart, I still got your kiss burning on my lips. I'll see you in my dreams.
Maybe what I have done wasn't fair but life isn't. We have changed, the circumstances of our lives have changed but there is still a tie that binds us together. The day I left you, it wasn't only me. I know you have found the pregnancy test and"
Meg stopped abruptly. She had to tell him in person that he was a father. She had to. She owed him that much.
Meg stood up and walked over to the phone.
Two days later
JAG-Headquarter
Falls Church/Virginia
1500 ZULU
It felt odd to be back, but Meg had a good reason to be here. She had to see Harm. Two days ago she had still been in Texas, she had still been trying to find the right words to write a letter to Harm but then she had realized that some things have to be told in person.
Carefully she knocked at his doorframe.
"Yes" she heard his voice loud and clear.
Meg entered his office and closed the door behind herself.
Harm looked up and there she was. Meg was standing in his office. He blinked, unsure if she was real.
"Meg?"
"Yes it's me" she said.
"I thought you were dead" he said.
"I am still alive."
"Where have you been?"
"Classified."
"You CIA?" Harm asked, but he already knew.
"Yes. Harm it was my own choice, it had nothing to do with you. It hadn't changed anything. It was everything I ever wanted" Meg started.
"Oh stop. I don't want an explanation for your choice of work. I want you to explain me something else" he itnerrupted her.
"I know. That's why I am here" Meg sat down and looked straight at him.
"Then tell me why there was a pregnancy test in my apartment."
"I had to find out if I was pregnant with your child" she answered truthfully.
"And?"
Meg opened her purse and took out a photo.
"That's your daughter."
"What's her name?"
"Scarlett Harmony Austin."
"A mouthful of name."
"She is a wonderful child."
"Why haven't you told me?"
"You have seen the test that had been information enough" Meg answered.
"You mean leaving the test in my apartment was enough to let me know that I am a father. Geez Meg, what have you thought? That I would have been thrilled to find out that way?"
"I am sorry but Harm, you have to understand me. I have choosen a different life, one that doesn't include you" she told him.
Harm swallowed. Part of him had hoped for a future with his Meg.
"I came here to tell you about your daughter but now that you know there is nothing left for me" with that she stood up.
"No farewell?" he asked.
"There won't be one."
Meg left him and his office, maybe for the last time.
She intended to be back at home at the same night. She had finished an unfinished business. Harm and she were history. It hurt. But Meg had had no other choice. She had seen what had happened to her mother. Her father, the famous Dan Austin had been CIA too. The day he came home in an iron coffin her mother lost all joy of life. She didn't want Harm to suffer the same pain her mother had. She loved him that much.
"You think it is this easy?" she heard his voice.
Meg turned around. They were in the middle of the bullpen. Everyone heard them.
"It has to be" she answered.
"NO."
"Harm, it's for the best."
"Darling I'm still the best you ever had."
"Don't darling me."
"Please listen to me. Do you know what you have done to me the day you left me?!"
"Yes. Harm, it had been for the best and now it will be for the best too. Forget that I exist. One day you will get over it" she said and turned around and left the office.
Harm stood frozen in place. She had done it again, she had left him. He couldn't make her stay. But this time he wouldn't give up this easily. He had a daughter and he loved Meg with heart and soul, he never stopped loving her. He should hate her for leaving him but he couldn't.
Harm turned on his heels and walked over to the Admirals office, he knew what he had to do.
Austin Ranch
Texas
1 week later
Meg was riding a horse. When she was riding Tyree life seemed so easy. She was free, she felt like the wind.
As Meg was nearing the house she saw a car in the driveway. She hadn't known that her mother had awaited a visitor.
Curious she dismounted the horse and entered the house.
In the kitchen she saw her mother sitting at the table with a dark haired man and as she came closer she saw him, Harm.
"Hello Meg" Harm said.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded
"we have an unfinished business."
"NO. You have no right to be here!"
Her mother stood up.
"I'll leave you two alone" she said and left the kitchen.
"Meg please 5 minutes and then I am out of your life forever. You owe me that much."
"5 minutes, I am counting."
"Please sit down."
Meg sat down and glared at him.
"OK spill it" she said.
"At first I have been angry when you left without a word. But later I started to understand it. You had no other choice. It was driving me insane not to know where you have been and if you still were alive, especially since I found the pregnancy test. Meg I searched for you everywhere. I asked for help. I even asked a friend at the CIA"
"I know."
"You have talked to him?"
"Yes. He is my new partner."
"In life?"
"NO. And if he were, it wouldn't be any of your business."
"I hope it still would be. You still mean the world to me. I missed you more and more each day. They started to call me lonely wolf. They tried hard to make me laugh, to make me feel something. But I couldn't. Meg, there is a feeling deep inside my heart, a heart which doesn't belong to me anymore. What I really meant to say is I'm dying here inside, I miss you more each day, there's not a night I haven't cried and baby here's the truth, I'm still in love with you. That's what I really meant to say" he told her, hoping that she was still feeling something for him.
Meg looked down at her hands. She couldn't face him. Many thoughts were racing through her mind.
Abruptly she stood up and walked over to the window, looking outside.
"Meg?" Harm asked carefully, not knowing what to do.
"You could be the first in the universe to make me cry boy. I thought it was for the best when I left you. I loved you too much. I thought it would hurt you more when I would stay and then maybe something happened to me in my line of work. I thought this would be worse then leaving you. I thought you would forget me but even I couldn't forget you and the love I still feel for you."
He stood up and walked over to her. He embraced her and kissed her passionatly.
"I love you" he told her as they looked at each other after they have parted in the need to breath.
"I love you too."
THE END