Title: Mutual Longing
Author: Medie (with co-write from Christina A.)
Email: medison@thezone.net
Rating: R
Pairing: Donovan/Other
Spoilers: None (Semi-Sequel to A Father's Fear)
Disclaimer: UC: Undercover belongs to SS & company. I'm not affiliated with
them in any way. No money exchanged hands for the production of this fanfic.
Summary: Two souls in the night sharing a need and regrets.
Mutual Longing
by Medie & Christina A.
-*-*-*-*-
Silently unlocking the door, Frank Donovan entered the the little house, reactivating the
security system as he passed. He'd had a hell of a week, with court and then a case going
south and the resulting hell to pay from the brass. He needed a break from it all... and
knew where to go to get it.
Making his way to the bedroom, he smiled at the sight before him. Angela Ramirez, wearing
one of his old shirts, sleeping.
Beautiful.
----
Old habits die-hard. Especially when 'the Company' was responsible for creating those
habits. The moment he stepped into her room, she was awake and straining to identify the
intruder's identity without alerting him to the fact she was awake. Her gun was in a
holster, just out of sight, if she could...
With an amused look, she realized then who it was.
Rolling over, Angela smiled sleepily at Frank. "Looking to get shot, Agent Donovan?"
He smiled faintly and moved to sit on the bed. "Not tonight. Tonight, I was looking
for was that." He touched the corner of her smile lightly.
She took his hand in hers and tugged him closer. "Bad day?" her voice was still
sleep-husked and softer than usual. "Want to tell me about it? Or just forget it?"
"Forget about it for now," he said, taking her in his arms. "Maybe talk about it
later." His hand stroked her hair tenderly. "I need you, Angie."
"Well I'm right here," she murmured gently, looking into his eyes, her fingertips
tracing his goatee. "You know that..."
He brought her to him and held her almost fiercely. "It's the only thing I'm sure
of." He wanted to sit here with her and forget about life for a while. He wanted
to do it every night but didn't. And a part of him wondered if it could ever really
happen.
Angela rested her head against his shoulder, her breath ghosting across his neck,
and her fingers resting on his cheek. "I know...it's the only thing I can be sure
of too." Snuggling closer, she added softly. "Joey's at a sleepover...won't be back
until tomorrow afternoon..."
He pulled away and gently caressed her face. "Are you sure?" He wasn't talking about
Joey.
"Frank," she smiled softly. "You aren't the only one who misses how things used to
be."
It was all he needed to hear. She understood him in a way that no one else did. With
a sigh, he pressed his lips to hers and gave in to the need that had been overwhelming
him. The need for her.
Angela returned the kiss, her hands curling into his shirt and pulling him back with
her onto the bed. She definitely *needed* this. It was hard to remember sometimes,
that she was anyone outside a Negotiator or a Mom... hard to remember she was a
woman. With Frank she could never forget.
As they fell to the bed, he removed the shirt she was wearing with slow and
deliberate movements. He was going to make sure she enjoyed this every bit as
much as he did.
A delighted shiver raced down her spine at the familiar and heady feeling of his
hands on her and she tugged his shirt free of his pants, pulling it up over him,
feeling her fingers brushing against hard muscles as she did so. The ever-present
reminder of his strength made her sigh with longing, her body springing to readiness.
He wanted to take this slowly... well that was his original intent. But her fervor
fed his and he soon found himself responding to her eagerness.
Angela moaned softly in her throat, her hands finding their way into his hair and
holding his head gently. Being close like this was something that she craved. Their
relationship wasn't ordinary by far, if it could even be considered a relationship,
and times where they were close like this were rare and she savored it. Loved having
him here for her. Not just to see their son. For her too.
He made love to her slowly - a departure from the norm - wanting to commit every part
of this to his memory... so that no matter what would come... he'd have this night.
He hadn't wanted to lose her to begin with, and moments like these made that even more
obvious to him.
Each touch, sound, and response was fully experienced and savored by them both but
especially by Angela. She wanted to forget the night would end. Forget there was a
world outside the room, forget responsibility, danger, duty; forget anything that
intruded into the fantasy she was immersing herself into. That just for one night
she wanted to pretend their lives were normal. Even if it was just for one night.
Though...deep down, she wished it was for more.
He was honestly considering how he could ever have let this slip from him. How he
could have ever let her walk away? The three of them were meant to be a family.
There was a safe haven here for all of them. And if just for tonight, he wanted
to prove it to her. So he made love to her carefully, making sure his body spoke
the words his mouth could not form.
She responded with the same near worship he was holding out, torn between keeping
her eyes open to watch him and just closing them to shut out everything but how he
made her feel. She settled for halfway, her eyes heavy-lidded while she peeked from
beneath thick lashes to memorize each and every look that crossed his face.
It had been so long since they'd been together it surprised him how easily they fell
back into the way things were and, just for a moment, he was felt the shocking surge
of desperation. To hold on to the intangible hope that they could live normally, free
of the shadow their current and former careers had left on their souls. He couldn't
help wish that maybe, some day, there would be a starting point for them to hold on
to one another forever. No matter what the job demanded.
She sighed his name as her own climax swept over her and she clung to him, pressing
close, revelling in this simple pleasure but knowing all too soon it would be pulled
away from them. It always did. It was their lot in life it seemed.
He held her closely for a moment before rolling awayand taking her with him. In the
quiet moments afterwards, his voice wafted to her. "If I could change things, Angie...
I would."
She sighed softly, her body curving to fit his. "I know. So would I." The darkness of
the room seemed to surround and cocoon them, shutting out any other possible intrusion.
Like they were the only two people in the world.
Squeezing her tightly, he said, "For tonight... things are different. Tonight we pretend
there's nothing holding us back. Deal?"
"Deal," she agreed quietly, resting her cheek against his broad chest. The separation
between them bothered her but at the same time they had been apart so long... and now
Joey was old enough to understand. Things had to be done carefully... she hated it but
it was true. It was for that reason she couldn't say the words screaming in her heart
to be voiced.
He closed his eyes. Two stubborn people. Two people who held to their duty no matter
what. That's what they were. But then, they had more than themselves to consider now.
"What time will Joey get home?"
"Mid-afternoon," she reported after a thought. "They're going swimming in the morning
then for lunch and then they'll be back after a stop at the park."
"He's growing so fast," Frank said. "I'll make sure I'm gone before he gets here, I
don't want him to get his hopes up." He hugged her more tightly. "It just seems like
yesterday that he was a baby."
"He grew up too fast," Angela replied sadly. "I wish he still was. I can't help
worrying. When he was so little...it was easier then."
"Until he learned to walk." He paused. At least he hadn't missed that moment. He'd
missed a lot, but not that one. "I am glad I was there for that."
She laughed in memory. "So am I. And not just because you caught him before he nearly
tripped over that toy. He was so proud of himself. He walked to his Daddy all by
himself. He babbled about it for days. Well...in his own language," she added with
a soft smile.
"I missed so much else. But that memory, I carry in my heart. The one thing I can say
I had with him. "
Angela lifted her head and smiled faintly. "You have more than that, Frank. He adores
you. You're the one he likes grandstanding for."
That did make him smile. "Isn't that how it always is? Boys work so hard to impress
their fathers...mommies will always be there so they can show their 'owies' to them."
He paused. "You know what I mean."
She snuggled close again, her fingers playing an unknown melody across his chest.
"Yeah, I know," she assured, her voice husky. "I always do."
He swallowed hard and nodded. Not that she could see it, but she could feel the
motion. "It gets hard sometimes. I'm the outsider in his life."
He doesn't see it that way," she disagreed. "You're there when it counts, Frank.
That's all that matters to him."
He sighed but didn't say anymore. There were times when they argued vehemently
about this and he didn't want this to turn into one of those times. He was lax
in a lot of areas as a father and he knew it. "I love him..." he sighed... "I
love you both."
"I know," she repeated softly, resting her head against his chest again. "As
will we." Her lips found his skin and pressed a gentle kiss. "As will I."
Sighing, she cuddled close, seeking his strength and the familiar comfort of
his presence as she slipped into sleep. Pretending, just for now, that it would
always be this way. Pretending he would always be with her. Pretending she was
his.
His eyes slid closed as he remembered times when this was the norm rather than
the exception. He remembered a time when they believed that they could make it
work. He remembered that they were two kids with dreams that probably outstretched
reality.
But they were older now...
And maybe...
Just maybe...
Finis
Author: Medie (with co-write from Christina A.)
Email: medison@thezone.net
Rating: R
Pairing: Donovan/Other
Spoilers: None (Semi-Sequel to A Father's Fear)
Disclaimer: UC: Undercover belongs to SS & company. I'm not affiliated with
them in any way. No money exchanged hands for the production of this fanfic.
Summary: Two souls in the night sharing a need and regrets.
Mutual Longing
by Medie & Christina A.
-*-*-*-*-
Silently unlocking the door, Frank Donovan entered the the little house, reactivating the
security system as he passed. He'd had a hell of a week, with court and then a case going
south and the resulting hell to pay from the brass. He needed a break from it all... and
knew where to go to get it.
Making his way to the bedroom, he smiled at the sight before him. Angela Ramirez, wearing
one of his old shirts, sleeping.
Beautiful.
----
Old habits die-hard. Especially when 'the Company' was responsible for creating those
habits. The moment he stepped into her room, she was awake and straining to identify the
intruder's identity without alerting him to the fact she was awake. Her gun was in a
holster, just out of sight, if she could...
With an amused look, she realized then who it was.
Rolling over, Angela smiled sleepily at Frank. "Looking to get shot, Agent Donovan?"
He smiled faintly and moved to sit on the bed. "Not tonight. Tonight, I was looking
for was that." He touched the corner of her smile lightly.
She took his hand in hers and tugged him closer. "Bad day?" her voice was still
sleep-husked and softer than usual. "Want to tell me about it? Or just forget it?"
"Forget about it for now," he said, taking her in his arms. "Maybe talk about it
later." His hand stroked her hair tenderly. "I need you, Angie."
"Well I'm right here," she murmured gently, looking into his eyes, her fingertips
tracing his goatee. "You know that..."
He brought her to him and held her almost fiercely. "It's the only thing I'm sure
of." He wanted to sit here with her and forget about life for a while. He wanted
to do it every night but didn't. And a part of him wondered if it could ever really
happen.
Angela rested her head against his shoulder, her breath ghosting across his neck,
and her fingers resting on his cheek. "I know...it's the only thing I can be sure
of too." Snuggling closer, she added softly. "Joey's at a sleepover...won't be back
until tomorrow afternoon..."
He pulled away and gently caressed her face. "Are you sure?" He wasn't talking about
Joey.
"Frank," she smiled softly. "You aren't the only one who misses how things used to
be."
It was all he needed to hear. She understood him in a way that no one else did. With
a sigh, he pressed his lips to hers and gave in to the need that had been overwhelming
him. The need for her.
Angela returned the kiss, her hands curling into his shirt and pulling him back with
her onto the bed. She definitely *needed* this. It was hard to remember sometimes,
that she was anyone outside a Negotiator or a Mom... hard to remember she was a
woman. With Frank she could never forget.
As they fell to the bed, he removed the shirt she was wearing with slow and
deliberate movements. He was going to make sure she enjoyed this every bit as
much as he did.
A delighted shiver raced down her spine at the familiar and heady feeling of his
hands on her and she tugged his shirt free of his pants, pulling it up over him,
feeling her fingers brushing against hard muscles as she did so. The ever-present
reminder of his strength made her sigh with longing, her body springing to readiness.
He wanted to take this slowly... well that was his original intent. But her fervor
fed his and he soon found himself responding to her eagerness.
Angela moaned softly in her throat, her hands finding their way into his hair and
holding his head gently. Being close like this was something that she craved. Their
relationship wasn't ordinary by far, if it could even be considered a relationship,
and times where they were close like this were rare and she savored it. Loved having
him here for her. Not just to see their son. For her too.
He made love to her slowly - a departure from the norm - wanting to commit every part
of this to his memory... so that no matter what would come... he'd have this night.
He hadn't wanted to lose her to begin with, and moments like these made that even more
obvious to him.
Each touch, sound, and response was fully experienced and savored by them both but
especially by Angela. She wanted to forget the night would end. Forget there was a
world outside the room, forget responsibility, danger, duty; forget anything that
intruded into the fantasy she was immersing herself into. That just for one night
she wanted to pretend their lives were normal. Even if it was just for one night.
Though...deep down, she wished it was for more.
He was honestly considering how he could ever have let this slip from him. How he
could have ever let her walk away? The three of them were meant to be a family.
There was a safe haven here for all of them. And if just for tonight, he wanted
to prove it to her. So he made love to her carefully, making sure his body spoke
the words his mouth could not form.
She responded with the same near worship he was holding out, torn between keeping
her eyes open to watch him and just closing them to shut out everything but how he
made her feel. She settled for halfway, her eyes heavy-lidded while she peeked from
beneath thick lashes to memorize each and every look that crossed his face.
It had been so long since they'd been together it surprised him how easily they fell
back into the way things were and, just for a moment, he was felt the shocking surge
of desperation. To hold on to the intangible hope that they could live normally, free
of the shadow their current and former careers had left on their souls. He couldn't
help wish that maybe, some day, there would be a starting point for them to hold on
to one another forever. No matter what the job demanded.
She sighed his name as her own climax swept over her and she clung to him, pressing
close, revelling in this simple pleasure but knowing all too soon it would be pulled
away from them. It always did. It was their lot in life it seemed.
He held her closely for a moment before rolling awayand taking her with him. In the
quiet moments afterwards, his voice wafted to her. "If I could change things, Angie...
I would."
She sighed softly, her body curving to fit his. "I know. So would I." The darkness of
the room seemed to surround and cocoon them, shutting out any other possible intrusion.
Like they were the only two people in the world.
Squeezing her tightly, he said, "For tonight... things are different. Tonight we pretend
there's nothing holding us back. Deal?"
"Deal," she agreed quietly, resting her cheek against his broad chest. The separation
between them bothered her but at the same time they had been apart so long... and now
Joey was old enough to understand. Things had to be done carefully... she hated it but
it was true. It was for that reason she couldn't say the words screaming in her heart
to be voiced.
He closed his eyes. Two stubborn people. Two people who held to their duty no matter
what. That's what they were. But then, they had more than themselves to consider now.
"What time will Joey get home?"
"Mid-afternoon," she reported after a thought. "They're going swimming in the morning
then for lunch and then they'll be back after a stop at the park."
"He's growing so fast," Frank said. "I'll make sure I'm gone before he gets here, I
don't want him to get his hopes up." He hugged her more tightly. "It just seems like
yesterday that he was a baby."
"He grew up too fast," Angela replied sadly. "I wish he still was. I can't help
worrying. When he was so little...it was easier then."
"Until he learned to walk." He paused. At least he hadn't missed that moment. He'd
missed a lot, but not that one. "I am glad I was there for that."
She laughed in memory. "So am I. And not just because you caught him before he nearly
tripped over that toy. He was so proud of himself. He walked to his Daddy all by
himself. He babbled about it for days. Well...in his own language," she added with
a soft smile.
"I missed so much else. But that memory, I carry in my heart. The one thing I can say
I had with him. "
Angela lifted her head and smiled faintly. "You have more than that, Frank. He adores
you. You're the one he likes grandstanding for."
That did make him smile. "Isn't that how it always is? Boys work so hard to impress
their fathers...mommies will always be there so they can show their 'owies' to them."
He paused. "You know what I mean."
She snuggled close again, her fingers playing an unknown melody across his chest.
"Yeah, I know," she assured, her voice husky. "I always do."
He swallowed hard and nodded. Not that she could see it, but she could feel the
motion. "It gets hard sometimes. I'm the outsider in his life."
He doesn't see it that way," she disagreed. "You're there when it counts, Frank.
That's all that matters to him."
He sighed but didn't say anymore. There were times when they argued vehemently
about this and he didn't want this to turn into one of those times. He was lax
in a lot of areas as a father and he knew it. "I love him..." he sighed... "I
love you both."
"I know," she repeated softly, resting her head against his chest again. "As
will we." Her lips found his skin and pressed a gentle kiss. "As will I."
Sighing, she cuddled close, seeking his strength and the familiar comfort of
his presence as she slipped into sleep. Pretending, just for now, that it would
always be this way. Pretending he would always be with her. Pretending she was
his.
His eyes slid closed as he remembered times when this was the norm rather than
the exception. He remembered a time when they believed that they could make it
work. He remembered that they were two kids with dreams that probably outstretched
reality.
But they were older now...
And maybe...
Just maybe...
Finis