This is the title of my (new) fanfic for DC comics! Yay!
Unfortunately, it isn't the usual YJ fanfic. NOPE, I upgraded it! It's (somewhat) a cross-over!
Remember the episode Kid's Stuff from Justice League Unlimited? Yeah, I loved that one. I watched it twice. That's like the only one I ever watched. *sweatdrops at sight of out of control Justice League Unlimited fans* Anyways, I was thinking (after the first time through) how cute kid!Wonder Woman and kid!Batman were as a couple. Then my evil writer side started working up a story about Wonder Bat (THAT IS MY NAME FOR THE COUPLE).
So here's the twisted thing produced from the darker corners of my mind at 2:26 in the morning! If anyone wants me to continue it, then COMMENT! It helps my ego, which is the size of Superman's nial (It totally makes sense! "De" is the form of putting something into the negative, and nial is the positive form of denial!) in Young Justice, which is what I based most of the characters off of. I kind of mish-mashed together Alfred from The Batman and Alfred from Young Justice.
WARNING: I WILL SWITCH BETWEEN SUPERHERO IDENTITIES AND CIVILIAN ONES. IF YOU CAN'T KEEP TRACK, SEARCH IT ON . THE TACO MAN COMMANDS ME...
HERE COMES THE STORY!
Robin might have guessed something was off immediately when Batman decided to stay in sick with a cold, cutting off all contact with the League. But he trusted Batman, and Robin had a few other things in mind. Mainly the fight between Wally and Artemis, growing steadily worse each day. Robin had half a mind just to get them to kiss and make up, but he figured he'd give Bruce a day off from mischief. Even if Batman was not out and about, Bruce Wayne was still as busy as ever taking phone calls and doing other things within Wayne corp.
Robin decided to just slip into his civilian persona, Richard Grayson, and ask his foster father how he was doing. Hey, maybe they'd even get some bonding time over hot chicken noodle soup.
Richard turned the doorknob, and something that shouldn't have been possible was scanned by his eyes.
Batman- THE Batman- was huddled underneath a clump of blanket, obviously in great distress.
Batman was never distressed.
Another thing that was wrong popped into his mind: the mass underneath the blanket was far too little to be anyone but Robin, which is what disturbed the little bird so much. Robin lifted the covers and Batman almost hurriedly put them back down. But Robin had already seen what he had thought was impossible.
Batman was... A kid! That was impossible! Unless there was sorcery involved, there was no way that this could possibly be the Dark Knight. "D-Dad?" Robin asked, his voice cracking in shock.
The little boy huddled underneath the covers sighed and poked his head out. "Pretty much," he sighed, "Thank goodness you weren't-." His sentence stopped there, and as he covered his head again, he managed to squeak out, at a passable mezzo soprano tone, "Is SHE here?"
Robin, still dumbfounded that his mentor was a child no older than him, was again confused. "Who is she?" he managed to ask without his tone squeaking like Batman's. Batman's head poked out again, seeming to survey his surroundings. Determined that there was no danger, he managed to squeak out again, "Diana."
"You mean Wonder Woman? No, she isn't here-were you expecting her when this happened?" Robin asked, still quite puzzled with his mentor's sudden fear of the Amazon warrior. Batman shook his head quite rapidly. Again, Robin was puzzled. Why would BATMAN be afraid of WONDER WOMAN? The two worked together sometimes, and were even friends. "Look, you're going to have to tell me the whole story. I can't just leave Wonder Woman out of the mansion for the entire day without any reason," Robin tried to reason with the 13-year-old blob of comforter and top sheets. The blob seemed to deflate, which Robin took as a sign of progress. Batman then poked his head out and began telling Robin about their epic quest to stop Mordred from becoming ruler of just about everything. He told Robin how Diana had a strange crush on him, and how he had somehow liked her back. Strangely, Robin had listened intently, and patiently, Batman thought, with more patience than he had ever had before.
A knock on the door interrupted their talk, though fortunately, it was at the front door and not Bruce's door.
Batman slipped his head underneath the covers, as quickly as any non-Meta-Human could. After five minutes, the person at the door knocked again, with impatience and urgency. "You know, you have to get out there and TELL her what you told me. Eventually, you will have to go out on League business, regardless of whether you'll run into Wonder Woman. So, go and face it like the Batman I know," Robin smiled. Not the best inspirational speech, but Batman was a child by sorcery, huddling underneath a mound of blanket, afraid to go out in fear of seeing Wonder Woman, who was a thirteen-year-old girl. Not the best of circumstances, if you know what I mean.
Wonder Woman pounded furiously at the door. "Bruce, I know you're in there! Your car's still in the driveway!" she sing-songily yelled at the door. She peeked into the keyhole, and instantly fell when Alfred Penniworth answered the door, because she was leaning on the door.
Wonder Woman quickly got up and dusted herself off. Alfred sighed, and said montonely, "Master Bruce will be here any minute. Master Richard and Master Bruce are having bonding time, which is quite rare, so I daresay you might not want to interrupt them and break them apart. Would you care for any refreshments?" Diana smiled, and shook her head. She sat down and waited.
Alfred had to admit, a pint-sized Wonder Woman was not who he had expected at the door, Rather, a business friend or even a normal sized superhero in civilian clothes. Diana had taken quite a gamble, walking out her front door in the Wonder Woman top, even though she put on white pants and a silk work jacket, as to seem if she were just a crazed Wonder Woman fangirl. Alfred had to admit, this game she was playing with Master Bruce was quite pointless. Every year, she would turn the two of them into children, as if reliving the mission from Morgan Le Fay. Every year, she tried to capture his attention. Every year, Batman would smile, and he would play along with whatever she asked him to do. But every year, she wouldn't be satisfied with him being her puppet, because she didn't want a puppet. She wanted a friend, or maybe something above that. But this year, it had bothered Batman more than any other year that she had wanted to give him his childhood back. No one had bothered to get that close to him, except for his parents, which disturbed him deeply.
Batman seemed to be worried, distraught... irregular behavior for Batman, Robin noticed. Jumpy nerves did no one good, so the Boy Wonder was trying to calm down Bruce Wayne. Batman wore some of Robin's civilian clothing, and he looked pretty good.
Black pants less starched than dress pants, but had more of a fabricish feel; a loose, green sweatshirt complimented a jacket that would be better suited with a simple casual dress shirt for most boys or men, but Batman and Robin wore the sweatshirt with ease; and to top it off, Livestrong running sneakers. The sunglasses Robin so often wore when around his teammates were gone, and replaced with Bruce's handsome stormy grey eyes, which showed none of the innocence children's eyes were supposed to hold. It looked like a thousand thunderclouds were wrapping around each other, constantly twisting and turning around each other, forever in an eternal battle.
Batman took another breath, then asked, "Are you sure that I should do this?" Robin nodded for about the tenth time. Batman looked to his son for encouragement, which Robin eagerly gave. Batman slipped down a secret passageway to take him to the living room instantly. Robin sighed, then took the stairs.
Diana was beggining to become impatient. What kind of bonding took-as she glanced at her watch in thought- a good 30 minutes? Batman suddenly slipped down the corridor, the loosely tailored fabric ghostly rippling the only arrival sound.
"Jiminy cricket, don't scare me like that!" Diana scolded as she pulled Batman into a hug. "Sorry, you get used to being silent if that's what your life depends on," he smiled into her raven-black hair. She softened the embrace, even letting him squeeze her a bit. Nothing too painful, though.
"So, where to?" Bruce smiled, and Diana felt like he meant it. The smile, of course. "I guess wherever you want to go this year," Diana shrugged and smiled back. "I heard about a carnival a couple blocks away. Since I know you like those kinds of things, I figured we might do that," grinned Batman. "That sounds great," Diana chirped with enthusiasm.
*Noms on Wonder Bat couple*
So they were at the carnival, and obviously they were both enjoying it. Bruce had gone on quite a few roller coasters, and was feeling a bit satisfied. Diana had gone with him, and together they tamed most of the roller coasters. They were on the ferris wheel now, and Bruce, being the evil, mischivious child that he was, had jammed it so that they would be at the top of the ferris wheel for a while.
"Bruce, why did you jam the ferris wheel?" Diana asked, puzzled. "For fun," he gave her a half-grin, but she noticed that something else was lingering in his eyes, and she was determined to find out what it was. "There's another reason," she almost scolded him. Bruce looked guilty, as if he had been caught with his hand in a cookie jar at midnight.
"Well," Bruce put one hand behind his head and rubbed the spot, as if he were nursing some nerves, "I was wondering... Would you... I dunno, want to be -somewhat unproffesionally, but keep it unproffesional- girlfriend and boyfriend?"
Diana almost died from a) laughing at his struggle, and b) from pure shock. She hugged him again, and breathed into his shoulder, "Of course. But I have one condition-." Bruce smiled, "That I can't fight your battles? I wouldn't dream of it. You'd start on me next."
They unjammed the ferris wheel, and were relieved to find out that the only casualty was a passed out girl, coicedentally in the cart before them. After she woke up, she smiled. Bruce and Diana both gave her weird looks, and she whispered, "You don't know me, do you?" Both the hero and the superheroine shook their heads. "I'm the author," she sniggered (GODS CURSE IT, I CAN BREAK THE DC COMICS EQUIVALENT OF THE FOURTH WALL IF I WANT TO!).
Diana and Bruce looked around warily. "Is this a figment of our imagination?" Bruce asked with all seriousness intended to creep her out. She waved the thought away, "No, and I pretty much just set it up and watched you two go from there. However, I can and do control anything I want. I just thought it would be more legit if I let you go." She seemed to laugh at an inside joke-between herself. She thought a moment and scowled.
"What was that?" Diana asked. "I have at least two personalities," the girl shrugged as if that were the most normal thing in the world, "but before you question my sanity, or why the author is referring to herself as she, there are other clones of the author, whose name is Lilac. My name's Rose, and we can all kithe with each other. Lilac was just telling me that we needed to change the plot, and that she needed to write an action scene. She's scared she's in a romance rut, you see. Which is why she sent me, but she also sent me to keep you kiddies on track. As for the random roller coaster, she thought you two would be the type to go on roller coasters." Diana and Bruce had both a Bat-glare and a Bat-scowl, because this Lilac girl had pinned them both down. Rose rubbed the back of her head, obviously in pain, "When I was shot through the Fourth Wall, I never thought that I'd get hit on my head. Unfortunately, I got off track when I hit the Fourth Wall, so I had to hitch a ride on a plane. That was when I realized I could fly after I, uh, lost my grip." Rose was quite sheepish, Bruce noticed. Probably from the embarrassment of losing her grip on a plane, and THEN realizing that she could actually fly on her own. "Yeah, and I hate to predict something so solemn, but we'll probably travel sometime into either a shadow realm or medieval times," frowned Rose, "Lilac can't decide which." Bruce scowled, but Diana made no move to copy him. "She's very indecisive, isn't she?" Diana asked with a smile, knowing the answer. "She says she resents that. She tends to resent things like that. But she does know what she wants to plot out. Action, to relieve the romance," Rose grinned from ear to ear. Rose looked again at her palm, scowling enough to rival Batman, whose scowl disappeared at the sight of Rose's mortality. "You're hurt," Bruce said simply, and took out a first aid kit from author-knows-where. He scanned through the first aid kit, looking at the wound from the Fourth Wall periodically to see what he needed. "Obviously it's not anything large enough to be a serious concussion, but we should go to the hospital," Bruce murmured. "And do what? Tell them I'm part of an author and that I fell through the Fourth Wall? Please. They'll really believe that," Rose scoffed. "If we were to hypothetically go to a hospital, what would your name be?" Diana asked, part curious, and part information-drained. "I hate my real name, so I go by my middle name. My full name is Black Rose Ravenclaw II. The last one unfortunately got killed by the Joker in this universe," Rose scowled again, but her face held a certain amount of sadness when she mentioned the Joker and Black Rose Ravenclaw I. Bruce had a visible shiver go down his spine. Diana smiled briefly, then knocked Rose out, so that they could properly heal her.
Oh, silly Diana. Rose will be fine within a day.
Now, to explain awkward situations, I send my clone minions down to my story's universe to make sure it's progressing. If not, I give the characters a kick in the butt, and they promise to be better. If they don't, I unleash my author's wrath on them with no mercy. Now- *gives readers scary and demonic smile*- who wants a cookie? Reviewers get nice sugar cookies, as do critics, but flamers get snail cookies. I haven't ever had a flamer, really, though.