I do not own Inuyasha.
A/N: This is a story wrote a few months ago, but lost interest in it. I don't know when next chapter will be post. I might not continue it at all. I am now in the writing block mood where i can't even write a sentence. Review please if you like it.
Special thanks to THE LIFE OF A GIRL for beta-ing for this story. Thanks for the read.
I groan as I open my eyes and shift my body in agony. The pain shoots through my nerves like waves throughout my body, reminding me that I am in a place opposite from heaven or any other place close to that.
"You are awake?" comes a sweet female voice and my eyes follow to a beautiful demoness, in a pink kimono embroider with many small colorful birds' pattern. Her sea blue and mix in between deep green color, silky hairs is put up and tie into a ponytail, complimenting her smooth round face. She is smiling at me and adjusting things here and there.
My inners are trembling with fear at the sight of her and my body screaming telling me to run away, but I put on a calm face.
"Where am I?" I ask and groan once more as another wave of pain washes over me when I try to sit up. I look around the fancy room bath in a warm afternoon sun light. The ceiling, the wall and the decoration tell me this is not a common villager's home.
She comes to my aid and helps me sit, dangling beside the bed. Under my kimono which isn't mine, a high quality yellow silk butterflies patterns, my chest is now wrapped with bandages along with my right shoulder.
Normally I would have flinched away at her touch, but I control myself not to.
"You're in the western fortress of Lord Sesshomaru. You are safe here," she pronounces with another warm smile, so friendly that I almost doubt she is a demon.
Her kind smile reminds me of my older sister and it nearly made me want to burst into tears and hug her. But I won't allow myself to be deceived by her appearance.
Yeah right! I am as safe as a sheep in a den of wolves. Or in my case, dogs…
Demons are cruel beings; they nearly wiped out the human race along with many of their own kindin a great war between the demons, a hundred years ago. The demons came from the north to conquer the west.
They flooded all over Japan, slaughtering the humans just because human were happened to be in the path their fight or just because they could killing people for fun.
The claw wounds on my back and my right shoulder are the proof of their cruelty.
"Thank you for saving me." I smile, though in truth I want to be anywhere but here, but that isn't an option. I have a mission to complete and Lord Sesshomaru, being the heartless evil demon he is, is my target… though I still don't get why it has to be me. I don't want to be here.
"All I did was patching you up. Lord Sesshomaru is the one who saved you," she tells me.
I still don't understand why he would save me; a peasant, a human… there must be a reason because he couldn't be saving me out of generosity and from his reputation he isn't exactly found of humans either. It gives me the creeps to think about whatever needs he needs me for. He might have some sick fantasy how to use me and the very thought makes my spine freeze and break in a cold sweat.
What am I doing here if I hate demons so much you might wonder? I got an offer I could not refuse two weeks ago. I mean literally could not refuse. A beautiful lady came by the theatre that I worked with an offer-the kind that involves having a knife pointed at your throat-or in my case, claws.
She persuaded me with sweet words, money, glory and promises of a perfect life but I refused her right out. Why would I stick my neck to a knife or jump into a pool that screams "deadly"? I am an actress, not a professional con. I may consider myself a true actress who would stay in her role until the end, even if it meant to die on the stage, but lying isn't my area. Also, I am a coward who avoids and stays away from trouble as much as possible.
My name is Sayuri Toshiko, the third daughter of my family. I have a big family, two older brothers and sisters, and one little brother and two more twine baby sisters. My parents are famers, and so are many of my other relatives.
However, my profession is an actress because one of my dad's friends has a theater and I have always been spell bone to them, characters. I often fallen in love with the characters and got so absorbed with them to the point of forgotten myself. Maybe that's why she requested me.
I had nearly fainted when her human hands suddenly began growing into long claws but swallowed hard and refused to take the offer.
If a demon needs a human such as me to deceive someone, whoever the target is couldn't be harmless.
She had left with an understanding smile and offered me a week to rethink it. Before she left however, she turned around and said, "You have such a warm family. What would you think if they suddenly disappear?" She said it in a sing song voice as if discussing her favorite dress.
My eyes were wild and wide open and sweat broke out on my forehead, my heart sank to the floor and I felt a shiver of cold run through my body as the meaning slowly sank in.
"Oh." She smiled. "Your father's leg should heal in a month." And with that she was gone. I stood there like an idiot for a few minutes before I broke into a panic run and found my father with a broken leg when I got home. He said he tripped while working in the field, but I knew otherwise. I secretly cried for days, thinking about my family; grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, brothers and sisters-especially my older sister who was about to be a mother in a few months.
I was left with no choice and I knew what I had to do.
Two weeks later I was being chased by her demons, running for my life. Those bastards really meant to kill me! They would have eaten me up if Sesshomaru didn't save me when he did. Though I guess they had to make it realistic so I could deceive him. Damn her! I have never hated anyone so much in my life.
Madoka, the demoness who patched me up, offers to go get me some food when she hears my stomach growl. I give her a smile, but I cannot help wondering what kind of food I would be served with. I hope it will not be a hand or a leg of a human or raw meat. I know my imagination is a bit wild, but how could I know when I know nothing about demons? All I know is they are monsters who eat humans for lunch (or dinner, or breakfast… the list goes on.) The point is; you want to get away from them as far as possible.
Luckily for me though, the food is normal human food.
Sesshomaru came by in the evening to check on me; more like interrogate me. He is standing five feet away from my bed, looking out the window.
I hate him.
His very presence is killing me. His cold eyes stare at me as if he could see through my very soul, his suffocating existence, intimidating me and make me feel smaller and smaller like a terrified animal.
This is my target?
How the hell am I going to succeed when the very sight of him is enough to make me shake in fear? And the silence in the room is torturing me like nothing else. The longer he stand there, the more I feel like I am going to lose my mind and confess everything to him so he could kill me and get it over with. But when I think back to my family, I found myself calm down a bit.
After what feels like forever, Madoka, who has been inside the room with me when Sesshomaru walked in, broke the silence, "This is Lord Sesshomaru."
I bow my head low, too afraid to look into his eyes. I secretly sigh in relief at her voice, but then hold my breath once more as I feel his eyes on me.
"And what is your name? I didn't have the chance to ask before," Madoka asks gently.
"R-Rin. M-My name is Rin," I whisper, and found that my lips are shaking. The whole room once again fell into silent hell that threatens to rip the life out of me. I sneak a peek and found two shocked looking face; Madoka and a small green imp that had come with Sesshomaru, exchanging looks and Sesshomaru's eyes narrowing dangerously with suspicious.
"Is-" I swallow hard, my mouth's dry. "Is something wrong with my name?"
Damn that bitch! How the hell did she expect me to accomplish anything without any information? All she told me is a fabrication short story she created for me and told me that I have to go by the name Rin. "That's all you need to know," my ass. I am as good as meat going straight into a tiger's mouth. I remember her smirk as she leaned closer to the terrified me, "Remember well, Sesshomaru is a hot tempered demon with a cold heart, most of all he hates human. Displease him and you'll die before you know it. Good luck."
This isn't good. Whatever that name is; it has history. At first I thought it was just a fake name so I would not be track down, but I was wrong.
What should I do? I feel my eyes start to swim with tears, pushing to overflow. I want to have a break down and run, run as far as I can to anywhere but near these demons. But I can't. I have a role to play here.
"You can do this," I encourage my coward self as my family's faces float by. I have to deceive him or die trying.
"What is your story?" Sesshomaru ask in a flat tone, ignoring my question.
This is the first time I heard his voice; low, smooth and full of authority without trying.
I found myself gulp before beginning in a dry voice, telling my fake story of how I had been an orphan, travelling with a group of performers. The boat that we were travelling in went down somewhere in the river on the way to somewhere. I survived somehow and was struggling to find a village, instead running into the demons and nearly getting killed.
"You must be eager to get back to your humans," he states, too certain for it to be a question.
Damn, he doesn't believe me! Even though his face is unreadable and his voice is flat, but somehow I could tell he doesn't buy my story and is trying to find faults in it. How would I survive when my target is super sharp, sharper then I could ever be. But I find it strange that he is willing to listen to my story when he could just get rid of me.
Sayuri, you have a role to play here. You have to succeed or you will die. You can do this, you are actress, I encourage myself.
I imagined myself in a role and my mind calms down a little. I give a sad smile before I answer, "Yes and no, my Lord."
He tilts his head my way a little and raises a brow in question.
"You tended my wounds so you must have seen the bruises on my back." I turn to Madoka and she knocks. I still remember the pain from the whip that the snake demoness mercilessly struck upon my tender skin because her "plan has to be perfect".
For three days I had to endure the pain each day, both on old bruises and new one. I couldn't help but wish I could kill her.
"It was the work of mama, my boss, when she wasn't happy with my performance or when she just wasn't happy." I gave a small smile, attempting to channel the feelings of the helpless orphan girl. "I don't want to back, but I don't have anywhere else to go."
I hear the green imp (whose name I have yet to learn) cursing, mumbling about how cruel humans could be and I could almost swear I sensed protective (?) feelings from him.
It couldn't be. Why would he feel protective over me when I didn't even know him? I quickly brush the thought out of my head and Madoka gives me a sympathy look.
"I wanted to run away, but I was afraid that I would get caught. And it's not exactly safe for an orphan girl to live alone, and a performer at that," I finish.
"What do you perform?" asks Sesshomaru without bashing an eyelash. He is living to his name of being heartless.
"I sing, dance and play a few instruments," I answer politely.
"Will you give us a performance?" he asks, his cold eyes are glued to me as a predator to a prey. I have a feeling he doesn't really want to see me perform, but to see if I could perform as a real performer. I keep telling myself to calm down and remind myself that I am the orphan Rin.
"That'd be my pleasure, my Lord," I answer with a bow which causes me to bite my lips from the pain of my wounds.
"Lord Sesshomaru," starts Madoka and continues after Sesshomaru's silence indicates for her to continue, "Rin shall perform, but she has just woken up after three days and her injures will take a while to heal. Shall we watch her perform once she's healed?"
Sesshomaru shoots me a glace and I avoid his eyes, hearing him walk out of the room. With that, I could finally breathe a lighter and sigh in exhaustion. I really want to kill that snake demoness!
.
.
.
For the next month, Sesshomaru is nowhere in sight. I slowly recover and start taking a walk outside my room. Madoka told me it would be better to get some fresh air and assure me that no-one would dare to harm me inside of Sesshomaru's castle. She gave me a bunch of kimonos, saying I could wear anything in my room. I don't understand why they would provide for me, feed me, and treat me as if I am a guest.
I would walk often and the servants would give me bizarre looks, some even stared at me but would avoid my eyes, pretending to look elsewhere when I look back. Me, being a human in their castle must be very strange to them too.
The month flew by fast and I am forgotten to Sesshomaru, which would be perfectly fine by me if not for the fact that my family will die if I make no progress in this one year. I want to get it over and done with, but I feel so hopeless.
I have become closer to Madoka. I like her. She is very kind even though she is a demon, but I still not fully trust her because a demon is a demon after all.
Nearly another week has pass before I am called to perform. Madoka leads me to a fancy room and Sesshomaru sits on a long table and the green imp (whose name I learnt, is Jaken) is standing next to him.
I bow to Sesshomaru and am directed to sit by a musical instrument. I have talked to Madoka about what I need to play and the instrument that is prepared for me. I choose to play music and sing since it doesn't involve too much physical activity.
I look at the lord, who stares at me with those cold hate filled eyes and my blood turns cold with fear. I want to get it over with and get away from him.
No, I have a role to play here and I can't run away. I am Rin, the child who doesn't fear demons.
I ask him what song he want to hear, he told me whatever I choose.
My anxiety leaves me as soon as my hands touch the musical instrument and the beautiful melody starts dancing in the air. My lips curve up as my angelic voice that I have worked so hard to accomplish fills the room, melting with the heartfelt music. It is my favorite love song about true love, eternal love. The song talks about a girl that would love him no matter what or who he is, or what he would become-today, tomorrow, and forever. She would love him until the days she is no more, and continue to love him even if only a soul remained.
The room heats up and I feel a warm feeling rise inside my chest.
I imagine myself in the future and someday falling in love with someone and giving all of my love like in the song, give him love with my whole heart and soul.
"Stop!" a voice growls in the middle of the song.
I look up, confused and see that Sesshomaru's eyes have turned red, glaring at me as if he wants to chop my head off.
"M-my Lord? Is something wrong with my song?" I don't understand! What did I do wrong again? Why the hell is he always angry at whatever I do?
"Why did you play that song?" he asks, voice full of anger.
"Because it is the song I am best at and it's my favourite," I dumbly and quietly reply, still confused about why he is so angry. He's the one who told me to choose whatever song I want. I look at Madoka who has been standing beside me, looking sad and uneasy.
Minuets feel like years and nothing but silence occupies the room.
"Leave," is his comment after a long time, which I am too happy to oblige.
I stand up, bow my head to him and start walking out of the room with Madoka by my side.
"Did I do something wrong?" I ask.
I hate it. I hate the life here is full of demons. I hate the lonely life where I am all alone. Well, I have Madoka to talk to and she almost makes me feel at home. She treats me like a sister, or even something more, which I find strange, but I still hate it. I hate the cold demon lord whose temper is unpredictable. He hates me. I have only seen him twice, but it is enough to never want to see him ever again for the rest of my life. I hate the demoness who forced me into this living hell. I hate my powerlessness that made me submit to her. I hate the threats she holds over me and how she can wrap me around her finger. I don't even know if her word could be trusted. She might just kill me after I finish the job here, or I may be killed in the process. I hate that I can't see my family, can't be with them, can't laugh with them or even let them know that I am okay. I hate it all.
"Does he hate the song that much? Or is it my voice?" I ask Madoka, hiding my anger and reminding myself that I am now Rin, as we are near my room. I almost burst into tears of overwhelm frustration, but keep them in control.
She sighs and her eyes look sad before she answers me, "Don't worry, he doesn't hate your voice or the song. But it reminds him of someone who he holds dear." She gives me a warm smile, trying to comfort me.
I was about to ask who that person is, but she changed the subject; "Do you want to go outside of the castle?"
Of course I do! I have been stuck inside this castle for so long and it feels like a prison. It is very pretty but it seems like a very posh and arrogant place, though there are flowers everywhere. Still, I feel trapped. Wherever I go I am watched like an exotic creature. I want to get out of here, even if just for brief second. Madoka has been telling me about the fortress, about a beautiful meadow and a waterfall, about the blossom trees, flowers and many other things.
"Really? I can go?" I ask, brightening up. It is the first real smile that I have smiled in a long time.
"Yes," she smiles at me.
She takes me to a two headed dragon demon that goes by the names Ah and Un. I was scared of the demons at first, but they were quite gentle once I got to know them.
"Go ahead and touch them," Madoka urges me while I admire the pair of twin heads creatures, though I fear that if it has a temper, I would be gone before I could think of running away.
I slowly reach out my hand, inching closer to them and they look at me in anticipation. Those intelligent eyes look at me as if they have known me for a long time. I barely touch Ah's head and Un startles me by suddenly nuzzling his head against my hand. I jump backward and a scream escapes my mouth as I fall with a thud on my bottom next to their feet. They gently nozzle their heads against me as if saying, "What are you so afraid of? It's just us."
Again, I slowly reach my hands to touch their heads and before I know it, I heard myself giggle. They are such cute creatures. But my laugh comes to a stop when I notice a deadly glare aimed at me. His eyes were burning red with anger, as if he wishes I would just disappear. I quickly stand up, and bow my head to him, despite how far away he was but he doesn't even acknowledge me and turns away.
What the hell is his problem? What makes him hate me so much? If he hates me so much why not chase me away? I sigh and notice a hand, Madoka, pat my back, understanding my silent sigh.
"Would you like to ride on them?" she asks.
"Can I? It seems like Lord Sesshomaru isn't very pleased when I touch them," I say, deject.
"Don't worry." She gives me a reassuring and warm smile. "He won't mind. He only came to check on you because of your scream."
"Why did he save me if he hates me so much?" I grumble and sigh. I am getting tired of this act too. Why would the snake demon think I could steal his heart when all I have gotten from him is hate and anger filled glares? Why me when I have no experience with men whatsoever? To seduce him, she should have chosen someone with more experience. Yes, I have played a few roles of a lover, but never have had one in real life. I am known to be cute, but if anyone would get his heart, the snake demon and Madoka are so much more beautiful, so why not them? I just want to go home and be with my family. The thought of my family makes me homesick.
"He doesn't hate you," she tries to convince me, not for the first time. "He would never save someone he hates, left alone allow them to stay in his fortress. It is just complicated. He is a bit confused right now."
"Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but the way he looks at me say it all…" I sigh, nibbling on my nails. "And what is it that is so complicated and confusing anyway?"
"Ah and Un, sit down please." She turns and orders the twin head dragons and told me to step up. I hate that she ignores my question, but step up anyway. Their scales are soft despite how tough they looked. She too climbs up and sits behind me before ordering Ah-Un to take off.
"The song you played was often played by the Lady of the western land and it reminds him of her," she starts.
As Ah-Un carries us into the sky, I exclaim in surprise because I never imagined they could fly. The wind blows against my skin, sending a few stray hairs flying like kite tales.
Then we are over the castle wall and in front of me is the wide beautiful landscape of nature, greenery, cherry blossom and a meadow glistened in the distance, touched by the golden light. I feel like I can breathe for the first time since I have met the snake demoness.
"Lady of the western land?" I asked, glancing to and fro at the magnificent sight.
"Hm," she murmurs in reply and I could sense some sadness from her.
"Can you tell me more about her? What was she like? Were you two close? And what happen to her?" I am curious about her. Whoever she was, she must have been important for Sesshomaru to be affected, just by listening to a song she used to sing.
She chuckles. "One question at a time please, and yes, I can tell you about her. She was Lord Sesshomaru's late wife."
Wife? I was never told he was married and it makes me even angrier. I hate this-going blindly without any information. It brought me to another question, I know that he hates humans, but what is it that he likes?
Madoka is about to continue, when a small sing song birds shows up, I don't know what kind, all I know is it is small, could fit in a palm hand and is very pretty.
Madoka and the bird seem to be having a conversation and after a while Madoka told the bird, "Inform her I will there as soon as I can."
The bird left, and she turns to me. "I'm sorry, but our tour has to be postponed. I have some urgent business to take care of."
I give her an understanding smile. We return to the castle and she soon take off. She doesn't know when she will be back; it could be weeks or months. The castle suddenly becomes gloomier and lonelier. I realize how much I have warmed up to her and how I have even managed to forget the she is a demon from time to time.
For the next two months I feel so lonely that sometimes I want to cry. Sesshomaru is nearly never in sight, if he ever is; only his cold eyes that pierce through me like knives and swords are found. I spend my days tending the flowers in the gardens, picking them and playing with them as if I am once again a child. I tend to Ah-Un once in a while.
I am getting use to the servants, they don't talk to me much, but all are kind to me. I don't know if it is their way of treating guests, but they talking to me in a respectful tone and taking care of all my needs. The clothes are washed and prepared by them and I never go hungry. Still, it doesn't feel the same with Madoka gone.
Once in a while Jaken would come by and would boast about how glorious his Lord is, telling me of his conquests, the extreme power he displays and how his lord is a proud and fearsome demon. I welcome Jaken's company because I often feel lonely. The only problem is that he changes the subject when I ask about the Lady of the western land.
But hearing how powerful and fearsome Sesshomaru is only adds weight to the fear on my shoulders, thinking about the moment he discovers the truth and those eye that are just looking for a reason to tear me apart. I don't want to think about it.
(Dec-16-12)