A/N: I dedicate this Destiel fanfic to my beta. She is so wonderful so I decided she needed a story dedicated to her to tell her how wonderful she is. Enjoy.

We had just finished defeating the Apocalypse. That's right, the damn Apocalypse. All I wanted to do was sleep for a year. I was driving the Impala back to the hotel when I felt a presence in the passenger's seat. I looked on with a straight expression. Then I turned and saw Cas in the passenger's seat, more exhausted than usual. Even as exhausted as he was, Cas still looked like a sex god. More like a sex angel. I laughed internally at my own lame joke.

"Are you alright, Dean?" Cas asks, lightly stroking my arm.

Losing Sam was the hardest thing I have ever had to watch in my life. It was like I watched my whole heart being dropped into that cage with Lucifer and Michael. I was alone and needed my angel closer, but was still intimidated by his presence somehow. I pulled into the motel and pulled a bottle of Jack Daniels and two shot glasses off the counter once we entered the room. I set the glasses down and poured, sliding one of the glasses over to the angel seated across from me.

2 hours later

My vision was blurring around the edges. Cas sat across from me, looking as sober as a stone. As I thought of how Sam and I used to drink together. I started to cry. Thick, hot tears rolled down my face in buckets. Cas came over to comfort me. He was starting to understand human emotions more.

Sam had taught him that hugs were a good way of comforting a person in distress. Cas leaned to give me a hug. I nestled my face into the crook of the angel's neck. Cas was uncomfortable in this show of affection. He decided to pull out of the hug the moment I decided to look up.

I had fought my feelings for this angel for awhile and with the liquid courage in my system I decided I could finally act on my feelings. Our faces were mere centimetres apart. I could feel his hot breath on my face. All this did was turn me on to an incredible level.

From Cas's quick intake of breath and his eyes scouring my face, I think he felt the same. All I could think about was how perfect Cas's lips looked, so round, pink, and kissable. The alcohol in my blood finally started to take effect and pushed me forward toward those lips.

Cas was surprised to say the least when I softly pressed my lips to his in experimentation. Cas pulled back a little and the question was clear in his eyes. I just nodded and he dove in and pressed his lips to mine with a bruising force of passion. The heat of our kiss quickly escalated. Somewhere in our kiss I had pulled off Cas's trench coat and tie.

By now our kisses had been reduced to a primal clash of lips, teeth, and tongue. I stopped the kiss and stared straight into Cas's eyes while I slowly unbuttoned his shirt button by button, slowly and seductively. The last button finally came unbuttoned and I just ran my hands along the planes of Cas's chest.

I mapped out every feature, and then moved down to his abs. I traced my fingers along the indentation, indicating his six pack. Then my fingers moved back up to trace his lips. I then put my other hand around his neck and pulled him in for a scorching, needy kiss.

Cas started to position us towards the bed. He pushed forward and started to walk so that he pushed me back. Before I knew it I felt the back of my knees hit the bed. I fell backwards, pulling Cas with me. We were flush up against each other. Flesh pressed to flesh. It was the most incredible feeling in the world. I groaned out loud at the sensation.

Cas took this as a sign that I was ready. We pulled off each others pants and got down to the real reason we were on this bed in the first place. Cas was under me. We kissed and licked at each other's bodies. Cas, being an angel, was remarkably stronger, but being an angel didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was the heat and passion we felt at that moment.

In a sudden spurt of dominance, Cas flipped us over so that he was on top. With a look of hunger in his eyes he flipped me over and peppered feather light kisses over my lower back and shoulders. With one last smile he placed a quick love bite on my shoulder, placed both hands on my hips and plunged in.

I woke up with Cas's chin resting on the top of my head, in my hair. I just nestled deeper into his chest, trying to keep this position as long as possible. I shifted slightly to stretch out my legs and this alerted Cas that I was awake. The whole room smelled of Jack Daniels whiskey and post sex. The best smell in the world if you ask me. It only holds second to the smell of fresh pie.

Cass looked down at me. I looked at him and smiled meekly.

"I am sorry for coming onto you last night." I said weakly.

Cas just nodded accepting the apology. I got very awkward all of a sudden. I was reduced to picking at the comforter to just escape some of the weirdness.

"I accept your apology, Dean. But I did very much enjoy last night's activities."

I kinda gawked at him for a second. He was definitely a willing participant in last night's activities but I thought he was just going along with what I wanted to do, like he always does.

"Cas, do you love me?"

"Of course, Dean. I have loved you ever since I first raised your soul. I held you soul in my hands as I raised it from hell and it looked at me with hope and I knew that a man that still had hope after everything was the righteous man indeed."

"Thanks Cas...I think."

"You're welcome." He smiled. He just leaned down to kiss me and I backed out of the kiss, a little unsure of everything and feeling a bit overwhelmed. Cas just scowled.

"I knew it." He muttered, throwing my head off of his chest awkwardly and getting up out of the motel bed and gathering his clothes up off the floor from where they had been strewn haphazardly around the room.

Last the night his belt had ended up wedged in the door and was soggy with Jack Daniels. Then I saw the three empty bottles and knew that was probably why I couldn't remember much. Jack Daniels always made me forget a lot. He just threw on his soggy belt and was about to flap off to god knows where when I finally got a hold on the control of my limbs and jumped out of the motel bed and caught his wrist in an iron hold.

He made a hissing noise at me through clenched teeth and clawed my grip off as if it burned him.

"I do not want to be touched by you, Dean." His voice was so threateningly calm and his eyes were dead of emotion. Cas had put up his walls. Shit, I thought. I messed up bad.

Cas just kept looking at me waiting for me to speak, the walls gradually cracking just trying to contain the emotion behind them. A tear snuck its way out of the corner of his eye. I wiped it away gently with the pad of my thumb.

Cas rigidly leaned out of the touch. Rejection, it hurt. Cas was feeling it full force. I leaned out of his kiss and now he was mad.

"I love you, Cas. Never doubt that."

He ripped his wrist from my grasp and suddenly the lights popped and all the electric appliances in the room started to short circuit. The wing shadows on the wall showed up and I knew I was dealing with a confused and pissed off angel.

Cas was staring at me, fuming. Then a loud screeching, buzzing noise filled the air. I caught my name in there a few times and I knew Cas was ripping me a new one in Enochian. When he finally stopped I at least had the decency to look ashamed even though I had no idea what he was saying.

Cas then must have realized that he had not spoken English.

"Well anyways." He started in his rough gravelly voice. If I didn't want a week of awkwardness and trying to fix things with a socially awkward angel I would have to do something and fast so I just leaned in and kissed him.

It ignited that anger fuelled lust that I was looking for. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He then angel mojoed his clothes off and we were how we started off this morning.

Cas is kissing up and down my neck and collarbone and I tilt my head up to give him better access. He then throws me onto the bed and jumps on me, landing on my hips, straddling them. The anger lust coming from Cas is palpable and I am ready for make up sex. I hear it is the best.

He then pounds in me without warning and I scream out "CAS!" in pure pleasure. He sets a steady rhythm of trying to pound me into the mattress. He is chanting my name like a prayer and sweat is dripping off his body and I am ready.

"Never. Ever. Make. Me. Doubt. Your. Love. Like. That. Again. Dean. You. Hear. Me?" He says, punctuating each word with a thrust.

"CAS!" I scream out and his cries of "DEAN!" echo just seconds after mine.

We just lay in bed together, my head resting on his chest just like before.

"Do you miss Sam?" Cas asks innocently.

"Yes." I whispered, already on the edge of tears.

"I could try-" Cas says almost inaudibly.

"NO!" I exclaim. "That would be a suicide mission and you know it! Sam left and you can't leave me too!"

Cas knew that I had serious abandonment issues so he just dropped the issue and cuddled me into his strong chest.

My angel was my anchor and always would be. If I was lucky he would keep me sane from the fact that I failed my one task and I would redeem him for all of his sins.

I need Cas and he needs me.

That is how it always was, and, hopefully always would be.

A/N: Please leave a review.