Send your own letters to Remus through reviews or PMs! He'd love to answer them! Expect Sirius to add his own commentary once in a while (or most of the time).
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does. I do, however, love taking her characters and forcing them to do my bidding.
Key:
Remus
Sirius
Letters
...
Dear Remus,
Will you marry me?
Love,
Hufflepuff Cutie ;)
Hufflepuff Cutie,
As much as I appreciate your... admiration for me, I must say that, no, I will not marry you. My sincere apologies.
Sincerely,
Remus
P.S. He is a Marauder; doomed to be single forever! Mwahaha! -Sirius
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Dear Remus,
Do you think Dumbledore is gay? I think he's gay. Is he gay? ...Gay
GoldenSnitch
GoldenSnitch,
Are you hoping he's gay?
Ugh, Sirius. To answer your question, GoldenSnitch, I don't know if he's gay or not. So what if he is? Gays are people, too.
They might be some of the nicest people you ever meet.
Sirius is right.
Sincerely,
Remus
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Dear Remus,
I think I'm in love. The problem is, the guy I love is the biggest git I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. It also seems that he has no idea how to fix his hair. Plus, I dislike one of his friends to the extreme. However, I couldn't help but fall in love with him.
Please help,
Red-Hair-Wonder
Red-Hair-Wonder,
If you think you're in love with him, you could always try asking him to go with you to Hogsmeade. If you're too shy to do so, then you could always try becoming friends with him first, and then proceed to becoming a couple.
Or you could just ask him for a snog in an empty classroom!
Ignore Sirius' advice.
As for the fact that you can't stand his friend, maybe you could get his friend together with someone else, he/she might leave you two alone.
Sincerely,
Remus
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Dear Remus,
James Potter should stay at least five meters away from Lily Evans at all times. She clearly loves Severus Snape, so Potter should sod off.
Half-Blood Prince
Dear Half-Blood Prince,
Lily does not love Snape. I should know; she and I are prefects, as well as friends. I don't know if she loves James, but-
James wants her!
We all know that, Sirius. Again, she doesn't love Snape. Sorry if you want her to get together with him.
Sincerely,
Remus
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loopin,
stup spying on me!111 and masticating!11 U DONT EVN KNO WHO MCR R!11 CUM SERIOUS! WTF WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WIF LOOPIN?1 FOOOOOOOK U!1111
enOBY
Dear enOBY,
I never spied on you. In fact, I can't even recall your name. As for the "masticating", the definition of the word masticating is, basically, chewing. If I can't chew my food, how can I continue to live?
I think she meant "masturbating". You know, wanking.
I know what that means, Sirius; but that isn't what she wrote.
Secondly, I do know who My Chemical Romance are. They are an American muggle band.
Third, please spell correctly. You're horrible spelling of the word "come" has Sirius in a fit of laughter right now.
HAHAHA! "Cum"! Hee... Okay, now that I've calmed down, I have to tell you; who the bloody hell are you? I won't have sex with a girl I don't know. Just because I have the dirtiest mind out of all my friends doesn't mean I'm a man-whore, you know.
We got that, Sirius. Besides, she wasn't even asking you to have sex with her. She misspelled a sodding word, for Merlin's sake.
She was meaning for me to have sex with her.
Whatever you say.
And my name is spelled S-I-R-I-U-S. Like the star.
The reason I hang out with Remus is because he's my friend. Unlike you!
Thank you, Sirius.
Oh, and the part about forking me; why would you ask me to shag, but then want to stab me with a piece of silverwear?
I don't think that's what she meant.
To sum all that up, I have not been spying on you, and please use proper spelling and grammar.
Sincerely,
Remus
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Points to you if you can spot/spotted the Hetalia micro-reference in here! Here's a hint: It has to do with Prussia. That's all.
