Laziness is Contagious, But Why do we Care?
I don't own Borderlands. For the record, if I even did, then all this crazy yet unbelievably awesome stuff in the games would be happening nonstop!
It was a chilly, brisk Tuesday morning in Sanctuary as everyone was out either taking down holiday decorations, hunting for Vaults, partying like it was 1999 all over again, or just doing absolutely nothing. Which is exactly what a certain sister pair of sirens were doing. Maya and her Lawbringer sister Nisha were both sleeping off all the alcohol and rakkale they consumed at Moxxi's, much to the consternation of a certain commando and a certain mechromancer.
"Boy, just look at them, all schnockered out from guzzling all that booze. Makes you think about how much the brain can hold, eh?" Gaige asked, as Axton was working on his crossword puzzle. "quiet. I'm trying to find the five letter word for blast" Axton spoke, thinking of something
"…boom" Maya murmured in her sleep, snoring. "gee, thanks!" Axton replied, writing it down and fistbumping Gaige in the process just as Lilith came in and walked over to where Maya and Nisha were sleeping. "listen girls, I know you're both drunk to the gills and incredibly tired, but you know, these new Vaults just aren't gonna reveal themselves. So how about you two sleepyheads get up and let's head on over to Triton Flats and do some hunting, alright?" Lilith offered, getting snores from the sisters as a response. Lilith rolled her eyes as Axton and Gaige laughed their asses off
"And what is so funny, may I ask?" Lilith asked, as Axton giggled before answering, "don't you get it? Maya and Nisha are the biggest couch potatoes in all of Sanctuary! Hell, ever since the whole Commandant Steele incident, all the two have done is watch TV, drink root beer, sleep on the sofa and on their bunks, eat, be lazy, read the latest Hustle and Playgirl Bunny magazines and use their vibrators before bed"
"Dude… tmi" Gaige spoke in disgust, trying to block the images out of her head. "well, come on. They're both bisexual, after all" Axton added, Lilith grunting in agreement. "yeah, you may be right… although then again, Maya did buy that leather bondage outfit for Nisha's lover, right?" Gaige asked worriedly as Maya moaned sexually in her sleep while drool formed over her mouth
"did she just…" Gaige asked, Axton silently nodding. "yup. She did. You can even see it forming on her pants." Lilith deadpanned, Gaige retching out the window. "you did that on purpose!" Gaige snapped, Lilith snickering in amusement. "relax, I'm just messing with you" Lilith giggled before shaking Maya's shoulder in an attempt to wake her up. But Maya was fast asleep, snoring softly while dreaming of frolicking in the green pastures with Nisha wearing a velvet dress.
"look, do me a favor and just let 'em snooze. Besides, Nisha did try to lash Scooter with her whip last time" Axton warned softly, Lilith remembering the embarrassing yet amusing details before stepping back. Maya then got up, stretched, yawned, then laid her head on top of Nisha's breasts and went back to sleep, snoring again.
"wow. Didn't know Maya was that kinky." Lilith commented, amused by Maya's, er… erotic state of mind. "what?" Axton spat in confusion. "she's sleeping on Nisha's breasts, she thinks her boobs are soft pillows, you dummy!" Gaige hissed, slapping him up the head
"alright, alright, geez. Keep your voice down or else Athena will probably wanna join in. You know, she did come out of the closet just last week…" Axton started, Lilith moaning. "and I wanted her sooo badly…" Moxxi spoke out of nowhere as Axton, Gaige and Lilith stopped and stared at her.
"uh… a little too much?" Moxxi asked sheepishly, Axton facepalming in disgust. "honey, you have no idea" Athena answered, walking into the bar wearing a dominatrix like outfit before setting her sights on Maya and Nisha. "mmm, what have we here? The old 'sleeping on top of breasts' maneuver again?" Athena teased sexually, licking her lips in excitement as she dove her hand down her panties.
"um… Athena? You do realize Maya and Nisha are sisters, though, right? Um, and that Maya's married. To me. Which would violate all rules of sacred matrimony" Axton spoke, Athena nodding in acknowledgement. "yeah, I hear you. I'll just wait until the two lovebirds wake up so I can see if I can schedule a little threesome" Athena responded, Nisha moaning before waking up and realizing her sister was sleeping on top of her.
"awww, Maya, how cute. I never noticed you were so… needy" Nisha spoke, a promiscuous hint of approval in her voice as she caressed Maya's leather jumpsuit while she gave Maya a wet, steamy French tongue kiss on her lips. Maya's left eye fluttered in approval as her eyes rolled back into her head as she sighed in anticipation before both laid back down on top of the sofa. "ok, I think I'm gonna go tuck Maya in before she starts humping the motorcycle in her sleep again" Nisha spoke, scooping Maya up in her arms as she carried her snoozing sister to their room. Nisha gently placed Maya in their bed, gently placed the covers over her and parted back a braid of her blue hair before leaning in and kissing Maya on the forehead. "Have a nice snooze, sis. I'll be here when you get up." Nisha whispered, kissing Maya on the cheek as she sat down and read through her Playgirl magazine just as soon as Maya got up.
"hey. Good morning sleepyhead" Nisha spoke cheerfully, Maya yawning loudly before speaking "How long was I out?" Nisha softly chuckled before answering, "you slept for like, three hours, sweetie" "Ok then, I had this dream I was wrestling with some enormous Tankenstein. I won by shooting out the bolts on his neck and he short circuited" Maya spoke, Nisha shaking her head in amusement.
"Axton and Gaige were wondering if you and I were available for dinner at that fancy new restaurant down by Opportunity. Care to accept the invitation?" Nisha asked, Maya nodding. "Certainly. I could use a change of pace after all that amount of trouble we had to go through down at that large space station last month" Maya responded. "Um, that was I, you, Axton and Athena. You know, that was Athena's and Janey's honeymoon." Nisha added, Maya nodding in reply. "Yeah I hear you." Maya spoke, before Roland walked in wearing an Elvis impersonator outfit with wig, shades, tassels and suede shoes.
"Hey ladies, what's shakin'?" Roland spoke using an Elvis accent. Maya and Nisha paused for a few moments before both burst out laughing hysterically. "Man, oh man! That was like, the best Elvis impersonation I've seen! Y'know, Winger, he tried to do Viva Las Vegas one time and it was so uniquely original!" Nisha guffawed, giving Roland a fistbump. "Huh. Guess you two are fans of The King of Rock n Roll, I take it?" Roland guessed, Maya nodding.