More than Friends

by Kadi

Rated K

Disclaimer: Not my sandbox. Just my favorite place to play!

A/N: Just a little one shot to celebrate #ShandySunday! Happy Hiatus! It's almost over!

"It wasn't supposed to turn out this way."

It drew a surprised look from her. Her brows lifted; she gave a small shake of her head. "I'm sorry?" She wasn't following this line of conversation. Sharon knew she had been quiet tonight, far more than was usual for one of their weekly dinners.

They had been doing this a lot lately, these dinners. It was good to be able to get out with someone who kept similar hours, someone who understood all that they faced every day. If she was quiet after a particularly hard case, he didn't push. If she was excited by something that Rusty did that seemed so completely normal but was, for them, a big step forward, then he understood it.

She had friends, people with whom she shared similar interests and hobbies. There were those that she spent time with outside of her work and home life. She never set out to find this particular friendship, it seemed to have found her. She enjoyed it just the same, and perhaps there was potential there for something else. Something more. That was hard to say at this point, there was so much else that she needed to clean up or put in line first.

The way that he was watching her now, with patience and warmth, it brought an answering smile to her lips. "I haven't been the best company tonight," she acknowledged quietly.

Andy shook his head. He leaned forward against the table and let his fingers toy with the simple, white ceramic coffee cup in front of him. He turned it on its saucer and let his gaze dip toward the dark liquid. Beneath him, the leather of the booth seat creaked. It was just a little road side cafe, but the food was good and the coffee was better. Andy glanced up at her again. Even beneath the glare of the fluorescent lights she was beautiful.

He had been watching her. He was always watching her. There was a part of him that thought that might be a little pathetic. He couldn't seem to stop it, his eyes were always drawn to her when she was in the room. She was a beautiful woman, but it was more than that. After getting to know her, he could read all of her tells. He knew when she was bothered, amused, or angry. Today she had been quiet. It wasn't the same silence that came from being particularly upset. It was more retrospective. When she left just before noon and returned two hours later, understanding dawned.

"You're always good company," he assured her. Andy offered a small smile. "That wasn't what I meant. It's always the first thing someone thinks after…" He trailed off, looked a little sheepish. "You signed the papers today, didn't you?"

Sharon shifted in her seat and sighed quietly. She leaned forward and let her arms rest against the table. Her head ducked, but a small smile played at her lips. When her hair dipped forward to obscure her face, she pulled it back and over one shoulder. Her index finger traced the rim of her coffee cup. They'd long since finished dinner and were enjoying a few more quiet moments before he took her back to her car.

It didn't surprise her at all that he knew what was bothering her. He could read her so easily. There were times when that was as much a curse as it was a blessing, but this wasn't one of them. Her lips rubbed together while she arranged her thoughts, looking for some order in the chaos her mind had been in throughout the remainder of the afternoon and evening.

"I did," she answered quietly. "It's done. My marriage is over. It's been over for a very long time, but there was just such a finality in that act. I didn't think that I would feel this way."

There was a sadness in her eyes when she looked up at him again. When she glanced away, he realized that she seemed a bit wistful too. "At the end, it's just natural to think about the start." Andy offered her a shrug. "We don't go into it thinking it's going to end up like this." He watched her gaze drop to the table again and reached across to let his fingers brush along hers. When she looked up at him, he offered another smile. "I don't mind listening." He thought it might help, if she could put those thoughts into voice, with someone who wasn't a bystander to the failed relationship.

Sharon let her gaze sweep his face. A soft, warm smile curved her lips when she saw only a quiet understanding gleaming in those dark eyes. Likewise, he had a failed marriage in his past. It didn't matter why it failed or whose faults had ripped it apart, it was over and that was all that really mattered. Her pinky stretched and slid along his in an answering caress. Sharon's eyes sparkled brightly at him. "You really don't do you?" She spoke quietly, her voice thick. Sharon looked down again and drew a small breath. "There are no great reveals, nothing sordid about it. It's really just so common that you might even call it a little pathetic." She chuckled quietly, but there was no mirth in the sound.

Andy watched her and the way she looked down again. Her mind was working, and he could see that she was looking for where she could possibly start. From the corner of his eye he spied the waitress, saw her lift the coffee carafe and glance their way. He nodded once and leaned back. He was silent as both their cups were filled. When the waitress walked away again, he lifted his cup. When she drew her bottom lip between her teeth, Andy smiled. "If it helps, you could start at the beginning. I don't have anywhere to be."

Her hands wrapped around the cup. The heat seeped into them. Sharon exhaled quietly. "I was too young. When I look back now, it's very obvious that we should have waited. We had a lot of big dreams. Everyone always does, in the beginning." She smiled wistfully. "I put Jack through law school while working a beat. I was still in patrol when I got pregnant with Emily. It wasn't until after she was born that I started looking for other opportunities." They had needed the money. Jack wasn't working and they'd had an infant to care for.

"Internal Affairs?" Andy watched her turn the coffee cup in her hands. His eyes lifted and he saw the play of emotions across her face. Good memories, mired in the bittersweet. At his question, she looked up, and he watched amusement light her eyes. "What?"

"You do not know everything about me, Andy Flynn." Sharon leaned back. There was a wry twist to her lips. "It's gratifying to know that I still have some secrets." Her brow arched when his head ducked. The quiet rumble of his laughter had warmth dancing in her stomach. Even now, with all that filled her mind, he could have that effect on her. Here was the something more that she thought of from time to time. It was hope and possibilities. Sharon tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "That was later. I actually made the move to Vice first."

His brows lifted, surprise filled his gaze. "You?" Andy tried to equate what he knew about Vice with everything that he knew about Sharon. It was a tough department, hard to break into and even harder to get out of. It would have been a rough gig, especially back in the eighties. That would have been back before Narcotics and Gang intelligence were their own divisions. Andy shook his head. "I can't see it."

She laughed. Sharon leaned forward again. "Why not?" Her voice dipped. Her chin settled against her hand while she watched him, eyes still sparkling. "Is there some reason you think I couldn't be a Vice cop?"

There was a challenge in her tone, reflected in her eyes. Andy knew to tread carefully. He tilted his head at her and leaned forward. "No reason. I just can't see you doing it. They're a rough bunch, and you're…" He trailed off and shrugged. He ducked his head and grinned at her, the crooked, boyish grin that he knew always disarmed her. "You," he said simply.

It had her smile softening again, this time into one filled with affection. "I thought you already knew, I can do what needs to be done." Sharon laughed. "Although that was a long time ago. They only had a few uses for women in Vice back then. Undercover prostitutes, paper pushers, or errand girls." When his gaze swept over her again, Sharon felt an answering wave of heat fill her. She paused for a moment, then added in a wry tone, "I'm very good at paperwork."

Andy snorted a laugh. He looked down. She knew exactly what he'd been thinking and where his mind had gone. He shook his head and glanced up at her again. "Too bad." He had the satisfaction of watching her cheeks flush. She was always beautiful, but when she blushed, she was downright pretty.

Sharon shook her head at him. "That's something that you would think." She lifted her cup and took a sip before leaning back again. "We were happy, for a while, after Emily was born. At least, I thought so. I don't know if I just didn't notice or if I refused to see it, but Jack was already drinking pretty heavily then. He was studying for the Bar Exam, so it didn't seem unusual that he was gone so often or that I was juggling so much with the baby. It wasn't until after I had Ricky that it started to fall apart. That was when I was recruited for Internal Affairs. I was working more normal hours, but with two babies, it still felt like I was being pulled in a thousand directions. Jack was staying out all night, and even when he was home, he just wasn't… there." Sharon's gaze dropped, saddened. "I asked him to go to rehab and he went. He tried. The first time. He started drinking again and well, I don't have to tell you."

"No." He watched her closely. "It's hard. You have to want to stop, and even then, it's a lot of work. It doesn't end." Andy let his fingers brush hers again. There were days, even now, when he still thought about it. Days when the numbness at the bottom of a bottle was preferable to the pain of a particularly hard day. He knew what he had to lose if he gave into it, however, and he worked harder to look the other direction. "What happened?"

Her lips pressed together. She looked at his hand, laying near hers on the surface of the table. Her eyes studied the long fingers, the wide palm. Strong hands. She had watched them suppress unruly suspects. The slightly scarred and calloused knuckles spoke of a past where fighting was preferable to talking. Those same hands though, she had seen him use them to sooth the families of victims. Her right hand twitched, her fingers touched his. "He left," she said quietly. Sharon looked up at him, sadness in her gaze, and no small amount of regret. "I came home one night and he was gone. He packed his things and he left a note. That's Jack's MO." She expelled a small, slightly shuddering sigh. "I found out later that he'd gambled away almost our entire savings. I was so swept up in the kids and my career that I didn't even notice…" Her lips pressed together. "We got back together a few times. It never lasted long. After the third time he left, I filed papers for legal separation. I needed to protect us financially, but divorcing seemed…"

"You're catholic." Andy spoke quietly, understanding her reasons. He might not agree with them, but he understood. When she nodded silently he covered her hand. "You tried. You waited…"

"No." Sharon looked up at him. "Don't put me on a pedestal. I didn't. I just decided that it was easier to be separated than divorced. As long as I was still legally married, people didn't question my motives as I moved up the ranks. They didn't question that my achievements were mine. Jack came and went and… I used him as often as he used me. Not divorcing him was useful. When it stopped being useful, I filed. It's really that simple, Andy."

"Maybe." His thumb swept over the back of her hand. He smiled gently at her. "That doesn't make it easier. It doesn't mean that you don't regret the end." Andy ducked his head, but it was to seek her gaze when she looked down. "Sharon, it's okay. I get it. We all do things at the end that we aren't proud of."

"You make it sound so simple." She turned her hand over beneath his. "It wasn't supposed to turn out this way, and all I've been able to think about it, through all of this, was getting it over with so that I could move on with my life. It doesn't make it wrong, I know, but there was a time when I couldn't see beyond him. I couldn't imagine a life or a future without him."

"You've been waiting for the end, and now that it's here, all you can think about is the start." Andy's smile was full of understanding. "Like I said, it's normal."

"Maybe." She looked down at their hands. Sharon drew another slow breath. "It just feels a little odd to be thinking about the past when I could be thinking about the future." She glanced up at him through her lashes and found him still watching her. The lack of recognition in his gaze had her fingers sliding across his palm. "I'm not a married woman anymore."

His palm tingled. His fingers closed around hers. Andy watched the sparkle of light in her eyes. The way they shifted from speculative to hopeful. "No, you're not," he replied quietly. He knew that she would feel something at the end of her marriage. It wasn't a decision she made easily. Their relationship, however, had been growing slowly, steadily shifting. He enjoyed her company and he could admit that he wanted more. They needed to tread carefully, though, for more reason than just their jobs or their families. It was something they both wanted, and it went beyond just having failed relationships in their pasts. They were friends. At the heart of it all, he didn't want to jeopardize that. He knew she felt the same.

For that reason, Andy only smiled warmly at her. His dark eyes lit with fondness, affection, and something more. Something neither of them could put name to yet. For now, he would call it hope. "So if I told you that a buddy of mine got me tickets to a movie premiere in a couple of weeks, and I was looking for a date…"

Her brows lifted. A small, delighted smile curved her lips. She tilted her head at him while she seemed to consider that. "I would say," she began carefully, "that were you to ask… I might consider that to be a fun outing." Her teeth scraped her bottom lip, but she continued to hold his gaze. "If you were to ask," She added.

"If," he echoed. Andy lifted her hand, let their fingers twine. "Then I'd have to introduce you as my date…" His brows lifted, questioningly.

"Yes." Her thumb stroked the side of his hand. "But I'd still be your friend." Butterflies danced in her stomach. There was a warmth that filled her. A door was closing, but another was slowly opening. She didn't mind a careful progression, preferred it actually. She didn't want to tear apart everything they'd built. It was the mistake she made before, with Jack. They had been lovers, wild and passionate, but never friends.

"Good." Andy continued to watch her. "So if I ask, in a few days maybe, dinner wouldn't be out of the question either." He wouldn't ask it tonight, but it was understood, there was a wealth of possibilities that lay in front of them. They only had to reach out and grasp them.

"No it wouldn't," Sharon replied. Her eyes dropped to their hands while her smile brightened just a bit. "In fact, I would say that you could pick me up at six." Her gaze lifted again, slowly this time. "At my door, rather than in the lobby."

"I'll keep that in mind." He continued to hold her hand, while both their gazes dropped to the cups in front of them. A comfortable silence settled.

It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. She was his buffer. He was her friend. Neither of them minded the turn it had taken.

They were still friends, but maybe they were also a little something more.

~FIN