Larry Daley, night guard for the New York Museum of Natural History, was sitting at the reception desk in the front lobby of the museum. Around him, various exhibits were playing sports, talking, or whatever else they felt like doing. It had been a long night so far; there had been a particularly nasty skirmish amongst the faceless Civil War soldiers, and it had taken him almost two hours to replace all of their stuffing and stitch them back up, even with Sacajawea's help. He had gotten surprisingly good at sewing since he had come to work there. And sweeping, and mopping, and scrubbing. And he was now a formidable force with a glue gun…

Sighing, he sat back in the desk chair and picked up the book he had been interrupted in the middle of earlier, but before he could open it, his stomach growled. He perked up. He'd forgotten all about the "lunch" he had brought. Four slices of Hawaiian pizza with extra pineapple. He bent down, grabbed his metal lunch box off of the bottom shelf of the desk, and straightened back up, scooting his chair forward. Opening the box, he sighed in pleasure at the smell.

He was about to take his first bite when a yell reached his ears. "Gigantor! How 'bout a lift?"

He looked down. There stood Jedediah, about one and a half inches tall, cowboy hat at a cocky slant and hands resting confidently on his holster. Grinning, Larry put his hand palm up on the floor and waited for Jed to climb on, then slowly raised it to the desktop. "Hey, Jed."

Jed nodded at him and settled down on the edge of a rubber stamp. "Hey. Y'know, you really oughtta get some o' those little metal things women put on their fingers when they stitch stuff up. Tumbles."

"Thimbles."

"Yeah."

"I don't prick myself that often."

"Right. You're just lucky nobody'll think twice about blood stains on them uniforms."

Larry snorted and took a bite of his cold pizza. Ah. Now that was good. Glancing down, he saw Jed watching him, a curious look on his face. Larry smiled, broke a tiny piece off of the side of the slice, and held it out towards the miniature. "Want some? It's good."

Jed raised his eyebrows and took the morsel, turning it over and examining it thoughtfully. "Huh. Always wanted to try this."

Larry looked at him, mildly surprised. "You've never had pizza?"

Jedediah shook his head. "Never had food. But here goes nothing." He raised the pizza to his mouth.

"Whoa!" Larry yelped. He reached forward and took the crumb back.

"Hey!" Jed yelled indignantly.

Larry stared at the pizza and then at Jed in disbelief. "How could you not have had food?"

Jed glared at him, crossing his arms and sulking a little. "Friendly as those other night guards were, they never even let us outta our towns. They sure as shootin' never shared their lunch with us."

Larry blinked, opened his mouth to say something, shut it, and opened it again. "Oh. You… wow."

"Can I have it back now?" Jedediah asked impatiently.

Larry shook his head. "I don't…" He brightened, looking over Jedediah's head at a rider on horseback who had just appeared. "Hey! Teddy! Could you come over here for just a second?"

Teddy Roosevelt, former President, turned and looked at Larry before urging his horse towards him. "Of course, lad. What can I do for you?"

Larry hesitated a moment while Teddy dismounted and turned towards him. "Um, Teddy, have any of you ever… you know, eaten?"

Teddy looked at him quizzically. "Eaten what, Lawrence?"

"Um, anything. Food. Have you ever had food?"

The former President laughed. "With the exception of Ahkmenrah and the Tyrannosaurus Rex, all of the exhibits were made as inanimate objects. We do not need nourishment. And under the effects of the Tablet, neither do Ahkmenrah or Rexy." He glanced towards the end of the T-Rex skeleton's tail, which was disappearing around a corner after its owner in pursuit of the dinosaur's beloved bone. "Which is quite a good thing, because I'm really not sure how that would work."

Larry nodded. "Oh. So… you guys can't eat anything. Wow, I'm sorry, Jed…"

Teddy frowned at him. "I didn't say that."

The night guard looked up at him in confusion. "But… then what did you say?"

Looking thoughtful, Teddy said, "Well, to be honest, I've never given any thought to the subject. I don't know if ingestion is possible, or if it would have any ill effects. But I know who will."

"Will what?" Larry asked, feeling a bit lost.

"Know." Teddy turned and mounted his horse in one smooth motion, then reached out a gloved hand toward Larry. "Climb aboard, lad." He noticed Jedediah scowling and quickly added, "And Jedediah, of course. I believe I saw Ahkmenrah near the Hall of African Mammals."

Larry quickly closed his lunchbox, put it away, and walked around the desk. He held out his hand for Jedediah to step onto. The little man did, grudgingly, and allowed himself to be put in Larry's breast pocket. But after Larry mounted behind Teddy and they started off at a trot towards the Hall, Jed said in a muffled, frustrated tone, "Y'know, Gigantor, this'd be a heck of a lot easier if you'd just let me try the dang pizza!"

A/N: Please review! This is my first fanfiction, and I would love any constructive criticism. Should I keep going?