Haiku You
Ron gets hit with the fourth unforgiveable curse; the curse of HAIKU-ING!
A/N: Inspired by Avatar: The Last Airbender; Sokka to be exact. That whole haiku battle thing cracks me up. (: It may be a tad OOC, but I'm only human. Rated T for some, erm, 'mild sexual references' in first chapter. Read and review please!
"Here," Hermione said handing back an edited version of Harry's essay back to him."
"Thanks loads Hermione," he grinned. "Have you seen Ron, by the way?"
"I was about to ask the same."
"Oh, no."
"I don't get it- where could he be then?"
"Maybe he went down to the great hall to get extra food." It was typical of him.
"Maybe Lavender Brown is hanging onto him, begging for him to come back to her," Hermione smirked, but made a mental note to hex her to Antarctica and back if she was begging.
"Maybe-." Just then, Ron walked through the door into the common room.
"Hey you guys, I'm back. I really should get started, on that damn essay," he said. Harry and Hermione found it odd how he strung the phrases together.
"Ron," Harry asked cautiously, "are you feeling all right?"
"Yes indeed Harry, I'm feeling perfectly fine. How are you feeling?"
"Honestly Ron, you don't sound well at all, you should see Madame Pomfrey," Hermione said.
"Oh Hermione, can you not see that I'm fine? You should get some rest."
"Ron, you seriously sound possessed." Harry thought that he should ask a question that only the real Ron would know, incase he was under the Imperius. "What did you barf up in our second year?"
"I vomited slugs. Malfoy called Hermione, mudblood. Broken wand…"
"Wait…" Hermione thought out loud, blushing a bit from what he said before, "say something."
"Please explain further. What's this 'something' you speak of? I'm very confused." Counting her fingers, Hermione began shaking her head.
"Oh no," Hermione breathed. "Were you hit with a spell before you came up here?"
"It's not a big deal. I don't feel a blasted thing. Loosen up, will ya?"
"Hermione," Harry asked anxiously, "what spell do you think was used on him?"
"The fourth unforgiveable curse," she said. "It's the haiku spell."
"Hai-what?"
"Haiku, not hai-what. It's a poem, 5, 7, 5, syllables in it." Ron said, almost robotically.
"He can't speak in anything but ancient Japanese poetry until we find the counter-curse," Hermione explained further.
"This will get annoying," Harry grumbled.
"Says you, friend of mine. You're not the one who has to, talk in poetry!" Ron walked up into the dormitories in distress.
"Hermione, please find the counter-curse."
"The library's closed, and I'm not sneaking down!" she huffed.
"Fine, I will then," Harry said, ready to get his invisibility cloak.
"You're in enough hot water with Snape already, Harry," Hermione rolled her eyes. "We'll have to get it tomorrow morning, before breakfast."
"Tomorrow!" Harry whined. "I'll be listening to haikus for the entire night! He talks in his sleep, you know."
"How exactly would I know, again?" Hermione snapped.
"Wasn't it you… with… that night…"
"NO!"
"Oh, right, that was Lavender."
"WHAT?"
"Joke, loosen up Hermione."
"What was that for?"
"That was me being a git so you'd leave to go look up the counter curse. It didn't work, though; sorry."
"I'm going to bed," mumbled Hermione as she went up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. Just as she went up, Ron came back down.
"The female species, complex and so confusing, yet we keep them close," Ron reappeared. Harry sat down, took his potions textbook, and started bashing his head against it.
"Angsty angsty boy, puberty has done no good, don't snog my sister."
"Good night to you too Ron," murmured Harry as Ron went up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.
"See you in the morn, and don't dream about snogging, my little sister."
A/N: Hey, you made it to the end woo-hoo! Yeah, it was short, but that's where I felt the scene should end. More to come as soon as I can! Please press that shiny review button and leave a trinket of lurve!