Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has to do with either GW or Kingdom
Hearts. Furthermore, I actually hate the game and love the show, but I just
wanted to write how I thought Kingdom Hearts with the G-boys, as main
characters would turn out.
N/A: Oh, and Relena is Kairi because she disappears in the first level. (YIPEE!!!! I hate the bitch!!!!)
Level one:
Heero finds himself on a weird shire in the middle of an endless black world. On the pedestal is a portrait of Duo in a pink Cinderella- style dress holding a bunch of roses. "I must be having a nightmare," he thought, looking at the picture of Duo and wincing. "What am I doing here?" Suddenly, a little box of type in front of him appears and tells him how to walk, jump and open things, as if he doesn't know how. Confused, Heero does all of these things and three cylinders appear with a sword, a shield, and a magic wand-stick thingy floating on top of them. The box reappears and tells him to choose two. He picks up the most usable items, the sword and the shield, since he didn't think he could hurt anyone much with a stick. A stairway appears next to him on the edge of the spire. He felt the urge to run up it and did so. Heero emerged on another pedestal, but this time Trowa in a thong bathing suit is painted on the floor. :: Was Quatre the artist?:: Heero asked himself, inching as far away as he could from the nasty picture of his fellow pilot. ::That's just gross.:: The box-thing reappeared and told him to step into the light that was shining on Trowa's crotch. "Do I have to?" He wined, just a little miffed at the thought of standing on a picture of his friend's manhood. Yes, the box answered. Gulping, he crept to the space of the picture with light on it and ran off of it as fast as he could. A blue box with a seal shaped remarkably like Trowa's head popped into existence on Trowa's nose and the box told him to hit it with his sword. "Sure, whatever you say." He tapped his sword against it and jumped back when it opened. "Riiiigggghhhtttttttt.." A key appeared in his hand and a door materialized behind him. "I guess this key goes to that door." The box appeared again and annoyingly told him how to open the door. "I know how to, dammit!" He trotted up to the door and shoved the key into the lock and it sprung open. He stuck his tongue out at the box and said, "HA, so there! Christ, I sound like Duo." Heero walked through the door and surfaced at another platform that had a picture of him in tight-fitting pants that bulged largely in the crotch area. He grimaced and shuffled his feet awkwardly. :: When I get out of here, I'll never look at Quatre the same way again.:: Turning around, he noticed a huge pink figure holding a flower with Quatre's head on it advancing upon him. "Whoa, now! Someone wake me up!" He ran away as fast as he could and almost fell off of the side of the platform. "This thing's gonna rape me!" The pink monster laughed and attempted to jump on him. Heero wiggled out of it's grasp and hit it with his sword, causing purple blood to rush out. In the process, the thing stripped off his jean pants. "Jesus Christ, you horny bastard! I'm gonna get that Winner!" It licked the blood off of its arm and proceeded trying to catch him again. He started hitting it in the genital area, causing it to fall over in a fetal position. A new door appeared behind him and he ran to it before the mini-Quatres that sprung from the weird looking pink thing could also attempt to rape him.
The fog vanished from around him and he found himself lying on a beach with Relena staring down at him. An annoying island-themed song began playing out of no-where. "AAHHHHHHH!!!!" He screamed, crab-walking away from her. She giggled. "Oh, don't be silly Heero! I'm not that scary! And you're supposed to be helping with fixing the old broken MS, not taking a nap." "I didn't sleep last night, okay? Besides, I had this really weird dream," Heero complained, wiping the sand off of his shorts. She strolled leisurely down the beach as if she expected him to follow and asked, "What was it about?" He shivered. "You don't even want to know. Let's just say that Trowa was in a thong and Duo was in a pink dress." "EYEWWW!!" "Not exactly the words I would use, but I agree." "I'm I the only one working on the MS?" A deep voice asked, and Heero felt the presence of Wufei. They turned around and stared at each other coldly. Relena broke the awkward silence by saying, "Let's race to the MS!" She got two nods of no back, then screeched annoyingly. "I WANT TO SEE A RACE!! NOW!!!!!!!!" "I'll do it if you just stop whining, woman!" Wufei yelled. She smiled happily and bounced to the side. "Ready: set: GO!!!"
Heero and Wufei sighed simultaneously and began running to the other edge of the beach, Relena following behind. "If I win," Wufei huffed, "I get to kill the woman!" Heero glared at him. "And if I win, I get to kill her and you have to call yourself a weakling in front of me." The Chinese boy flushed and sped up, gaining a lead on the brown- haired perfect soldier. The MS loomed closer and closer, and Wufei finished first, Heero came in second, and Relena came huffing heavily after them twenty minutes later. By then, Wufei had out his sword and was grinding it to a razor-sharp point. "Oh no, not again!" She cried, running back where she came from, screaming. Wufei laughed and sat back down. "I love it when she runs away in fear." "Same here."
Heero laid on his window seat and looked out over the ocean, breathing in the salty air. A storm was approaching. He suddenly realized that he had left the cockpit of the MS wide open, and it looked like rain. Jumping out of his window, he raced down the beach. Little purple figures began popping up around him and attacking him viciously. "Of course I forget my gun when I really need it," he muttered, and punched one of them square in the face. "I'm only going to close the damn cockpit, for Christ's sake!" He noticed Wufei standing on the head of the MS; his eyes glazed over. "Heero," the Chinese boy said, extending his hand towards his fellow pilot. "This is our chance to get off this rock." A pink swirl began to crawl up his legs. "Chang!" Heero yelled, trying to pull out Wufei. The boy disappeared into the pink fuzz and it pulled him in with Wufei. He reappeared with an odd-looking sword in his hand. It had a stuffed pig on the end of it and the handle was entirely pink. His mind instantly told him that it was called the Pigblade. "How the hell am I supposed to defeat evil with this thing?" Before he could get and answer, the purple Quatres jumped out of the ground and began attacking him. He struck one of them with this sword and it oinked when it made contact. The purple thing faded and three pink balls went into his body and he suddenly felt healthier. "This is getting weird. Maybe I should go find Relena," he thought aloud, and ran away from his enemy. "Maybe she's on the other side of the beach." Sure enough, she was standing there in a trance. Turning to him when he walked up, she muttered "Heero," then disappeared. Shocked, Heero stumbled and was sucked into the wild surf, and thrown around until he reawakened.
Heero woke up on a huge floating island that looked remarkably like his own. Standing up, he peered around and gasped. The pink thing from his dream stood at the other end of the land mass and it winked. "I still haven't gotten your ass yet, hotty," it said suggestively. Heero scowled in disgust and pulled out the Pigblade. "You can just try to get it! It's my ass!" The thing ran to Heero and tried to tackle him. He scooted away and smacked it with him oinking sword. It howled in pain, anger, or surprise from being hit with a pig, and gave birth to more of those purple Quatre-headed minions. The launched on Heero and he whirled in a circle, destroying all of them. "Come and get me yourself," he cried, racing at the monster. He swung out and chopped off one of its legs. "There, I've defeated you!" "Nu-uh. I can still fight." "You've only got one leg!" Heero cried out in exasperation. The fiend swung its arms at him and hopped over on one leg. "Have at you!" Heero lobbed off it's left arm and prepared to finish it off. "I can still fight," the pink monstrosity said. "Your arms off!" "I've had worse." Heero yelled out in annoyance and shot at the enemy being, chopping off it's other arm and leg. "There, now you can't fight." "'Tis but a flesh wound." Heero got fed up and lifted the Pigblade over his head. "You're not going Monty Python on me, bitch." He plunged his sword into it's head and it died. A strong wind swept him off of his feet and threatened to seize him from the ground. Grabbing on to a tree, he held on for dear life, but it was too strong. He got sucked into the angry-looking pink mass that floated above the remainder of him home and blacked out.
N/A: Oh, and Relena is Kairi because she disappears in the first level. (YIPEE!!!! I hate the bitch!!!!)
Level one:
Heero finds himself on a weird shire in the middle of an endless black world. On the pedestal is a portrait of Duo in a pink Cinderella- style dress holding a bunch of roses. "I must be having a nightmare," he thought, looking at the picture of Duo and wincing. "What am I doing here?" Suddenly, a little box of type in front of him appears and tells him how to walk, jump and open things, as if he doesn't know how. Confused, Heero does all of these things and three cylinders appear with a sword, a shield, and a magic wand-stick thingy floating on top of them. The box reappears and tells him to choose two. He picks up the most usable items, the sword and the shield, since he didn't think he could hurt anyone much with a stick. A stairway appears next to him on the edge of the spire. He felt the urge to run up it and did so. Heero emerged on another pedestal, but this time Trowa in a thong bathing suit is painted on the floor. :: Was Quatre the artist?:: Heero asked himself, inching as far away as he could from the nasty picture of his fellow pilot. ::That's just gross.:: The box-thing reappeared and told him to step into the light that was shining on Trowa's crotch. "Do I have to?" He wined, just a little miffed at the thought of standing on a picture of his friend's manhood. Yes, the box answered. Gulping, he crept to the space of the picture with light on it and ran off of it as fast as he could. A blue box with a seal shaped remarkably like Trowa's head popped into existence on Trowa's nose and the box told him to hit it with his sword. "Sure, whatever you say." He tapped his sword against it and jumped back when it opened. "Riiiigggghhhtttttttt.." A key appeared in his hand and a door materialized behind him. "I guess this key goes to that door." The box appeared again and annoyingly told him how to open the door. "I know how to, dammit!" He trotted up to the door and shoved the key into the lock and it sprung open. He stuck his tongue out at the box and said, "HA, so there! Christ, I sound like Duo." Heero walked through the door and surfaced at another platform that had a picture of him in tight-fitting pants that bulged largely in the crotch area. He grimaced and shuffled his feet awkwardly. :: When I get out of here, I'll never look at Quatre the same way again.:: Turning around, he noticed a huge pink figure holding a flower with Quatre's head on it advancing upon him. "Whoa, now! Someone wake me up!" He ran away as fast as he could and almost fell off of the side of the platform. "This thing's gonna rape me!" The pink monster laughed and attempted to jump on him. Heero wiggled out of it's grasp and hit it with his sword, causing purple blood to rush out. In the process, the thing stripped off his jean pants. "Jesus Christ, you horny bastard! I'm gonna get that Winner!" It licked the blood off of its arm and proceeded trying to catch him again. He started hitting it in the genital area, causing it to fall over in a fetal position. A new door appeared behind him and he ran to it before the mini-Quatres that sprung from the weird looking pink thing could also attempt to rape him.
The fog vanished from around him and he found himself lying on a beach with Relena staring down at him. An annoying island-themed song began playing out of no-where. "AAHHHHHHH!!!!" He screamed, crab-walking away from her. She giggled. "Oh, don't be silly Heero! I'm not that scary! And you're supposed to be helping with fixing the old broken MS, not taking a nap." "I didn't sleep last night, okay? Besides, I had this really weird dream," Heero complained, wiping the sand off of his shorts. She strolled leisurely down the beach as if she expected him to follow and asked, "What was it about?" He shivered. "You don't even want to know. Let's just say that Trowa was in a thong and Duo was in a pink dress." "EYEWWW!!" "Not exactly the words I would use, but I agree." "I'm I the only one working on the MS?" A deep voice asked, and Heero felt the presence of Wufei. They turned around and stared at each other coldly. Relena broke the awkward silence by saying, "Let's race to the MS!" She got two nods of no back, then screeched annoyingly. "I WANT TO SEE A RACE!! NOW!!!!!!!!" "I'll do it if you just stop whining, woman!" Wufei yelled. She smiled happily and bounced to the side. "Ready: set: GO!!!"
Heero and Wufei sighed simultaneously and began running to the other edge of the beach, Relena following behind. "If I win," Wufei huffed, "I get to kill the woman!" Heero glared at him. "And if I win, I get to kill her and you have to call yourself a weakling in front of me." The Chinese boy flushed and sped up, gaining a lead on the brown- haired perfect soldier. The MS loomed closer and closer, and Wufei finished first, Heero came in second, and Relena came huffing heavily after them twenty minutes later. By then, Wufei had out his sword and was grinding it to a razor-sharp point. "Oh no, not again!" She cried, running back where she came from, screaming. Wufei laughed and sat back down. "I love it when she runs away in fear." "Same here."
Heero laid on his window seat and looked out over the ocean, breathing in the salty air. A storm was approaching. He suddenly realized that he had left the cockpit of the MS wide open, and it looked like rain. Jumping out of his window, he raced down the beach. Little purple figures began popping up around him and attacking him viciously. "Of course I forget my gun when I really need it," he muttered, and punched one of them square in the face. "I'm only going to close the damn cockpit, for Christ's sake!" He noticed Wufei standing on the head of the MS; his eyes glazed over. "Heero," the Chinese boy said, extending his hand towards his fellow pilot. "This is our chance to get off this rock." A pink swirl began to crawl up his legs. "Chang!" Heero yelled, trying to pull out Wufei. The boy disappeared into the pink fuzz and it pulled him in with Wufei. He reappeared with an odd-looking sword in his hand. It had a stuffed pig on the end of it and the handle was entirely pink. His mind instantly told him that it was called the Pigblade. "How the hell am I supposed to defeat evil with this thing?" Before he could get and answer, the purple Quatres jumped out of the ground and began attacking him. He struck one of them with this sword and it oinked when it made contact. The purple thing faded and three pink balls went into his body and he suddenly felt healthier. "This is getting weird. Maybe I should go find Relena," he thought aloud, and ran away from his enemy. "Maybe she's on the other side of the beach." Sure enough, she was standing there in a trance. Turning to him when he walked up, she muttered "Heero," then disappeared. Shocked, Heero stumbled and was sucked into the wild surf, and thrown around until he reawakened.
Heero woke up on a huge floating island that looked remarkably like his own. Standing up, he peered around and gasped. The pink thing from his dream stood at the other end of the land mass and it winked. "I still haven't gotten your ass yet, hotty," it said suggestively. Heero scowled in disgust and pulled out the Pigblade. "You can just try to get it! It's my ass!" The thing ran to Heero and tried to tackle him. He scooted away and smacked it with him oinking sword. It howled in pain, anger, or surprise from being hit with a pig, and gave birth to more of those purple Quatre-headed minions. The launched on Heero and he whirled in a circle, destroying all of them. "Come and get me yourself," he cried, racing at the monster. He swung out and chopped off one of its legs. "There, I've defeated you!" "Nu-uh. I can still fight." "You've only got one leg!" Heero cried out in exasperation. The fiend swung its arms at him and hopped over on one leg. "Have at you!" Heero lobbed off it's left arm and prepared to finish it off. "I can still fight," the pink monstrosity said. "Your arms off!" "I've had worse." Heero yelled out in annoyance and shot at the enemy being, chopping off it's other arm and leg. "There, now you can't fight." "'Tis but a flesh wound." Heero got fed up and lifted the Pigblade over his head. "You're not going Monty Python on me, bitch." He plunged his sword into it's head and it died. A strong wind swept him off of his feet and threatened to seize him from the ground. Grabbing on to a tree, he held on for dear life, but it was too strong. He got sucked into the angry-looking pink mass that floated above the remainder of him home and blacked out.