Oh, I've been DYING to write this story (probably not the right thing to say). I'm sorry, but this is gonna be emotional. For me and for you all. I mean, I'm not sure if I'm going to cry while writing this or not 'cause I always think about this story. And when I do, I cry less every time until I feel nothing. Now, I just pity you guys for reading this.

Well, I hope you don't kill me. But I think this will be interesting.

I'm trying to make this long so I wouldn't write the chapter. I might cry. Hold me if I did.

Ok. Here I am. Doing it. Right now.

Ok. Right Sorry. Chapter. Fine.

All Benny could do that day was stare at the dagger in his hand. It didn't belong to him. It belonged to Ethan. He promised he'd keep it with him safely. He promised this on Ethan's last week of being alive.

Well, now, he was dead. Murdered. It hurt him so badly to think about this. Everything that he thought of brought him back to his best friend: It was Ethan who stayed with him all his life. It was Ethan who'd let Benny's smile stay, and it was Ethan who'd do anything to protect Benny.

Protecting Benny was what made him get killed. And Benny couldn't help but feel guilty for this. After all, he made the last day of his life miserable; he couldn't take his actions back anymore.

It started when Ethan was acting weird. The last week he was with them, he began looking sad. Every time they'd talk to him, he wouldn't even brighten up. He'd look down at the ground at all times. It was like he was keeping everything to himself. He wouldn't speak at all. But then, he suddenly wanted to spend time with everyone, apparently. He went with Erica to wherever she dragged him to, he spent some time with Sarah even though they broke up, he spent more time with his family, he went with Rory to the arcade, and finally, he spent his time with Benny just talking. He could still remember the smile on his face. He could still remember how sweet he was. Most importantly, he could still remember when Ethan told him his secret to him in his last day.

But he hated himself for being a jerk that day.

When Benny was in his room, he heard a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" It was Ethan. Of course he'd let him come in. He didn't even need an invitation to his room. Usually, they'd just enter the house without warning.

"Sure," he replied. He was sitting on his bed, so when Ethan came in, smiling, he sat there with him too.

But once her relaxed, his smile faded away. In its place sat nervousness. His eyes would look anywhere but Benny's. His mouth would move to speak, but then close once again in hesitation.

"Is there something wrong?" he had asked him.

He took a breath and closed his eyes. Once he opened them, he said, "I need to tell you something because you have to know it. You're just not gonna like what you hear."

"What is it?" he asked. Ethan still looked scared to speak. "E, look into my eyes and tell me. Please."

When he looked at him, it seemed like it was getting harder for him to talk. "I… I…"

"Are you going to tell me or not?" Benny asked. "If you don't want to, it's fine."

He shook his head. "No. You need to hear it from me."

"Okay, fine. Tell me."

This time, Ethan looked the other way instead of at him. He mumbled something, but it was enough for Benny to hear. "I'm gay."

He laughed. He understood how hard it was to come clean to him, but he didn't have to be so nervous. "Dude, I'm no homophobe, okay? It's fine with me." It actually made sense that he broke up with Sarah now.

Ethan shook his head again. "No, I'm not afraid of what you'd say about me. I'm… I'm just afraid of rejection."

Now, Benny was confused. "What do you mean?"

Ethan's look seemed more distant now. It was as if he didn't want to look at him anymore. He muttered something again. This time, the words were shocking. "I like you."

He was so surprised and creeped out at the moment, he had to jump from his bed. "You what?"

His best friend looked at him with hurt shown in his eyes mixed with sadness. "I'll just get out."

Benny realized he shouldn't have reacted this way. Ethan told him he was afraid of rejection, so the reaction was a bit too much. Even with that, he couldn't think clearly at that moment. He was angry and shocked. Angry because his best friend would keep something like this from him and shocked because he didn't expect him to have a crush on him. And since when?

When Ethan turned to leave, Benny held his arm, meaning to apologize for his reaction. But his mind was so clouded, he didn't do that. Instead, he made things worse.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Then anger took over. "Why would you keep something like this from me? I thought we told each other everything." There was no stopping his words now from pouring out. "Plus, why would you thing I'd like you?"

"I… I didn't-"

"Oh, please." He didn't even think before he said this. He wished he didn't say what came out of him next. "You're just pathetic. You're a bossy know-it-all who thinks he's better than everyone. You're not perfect. No one is." The next words came out of nowhere. He didn't even mean them. "I hate you."

Ethan looked away from him. That was when he knew he went too far and hurt the only person who'd give a crap about his life. "Do you really think that about me? Do you hate me?"

Benny caught himself before he could say another word. Ethan just came out to him, telling him he liked him, and Benny just… made him feel bad?

"E, I'm sorry. I didn't mean this."

"But it is true, isn't it?" he asked.

"E-"

"You don't get it." His voice was shaky. "You won't. You never will."

He wanted to apologize to him and to look him in the face while doing so. By his grip on his arm, he spun him around. He didn't know what to expect, but he saw Ethan's eyes get watery, though no tears came out. He must really be suffering from the inside.

"I'm sorry."

His arm struggled to get out. Benny figured he shouldn't let him stay this way against his will, so he let him go. The next thing he knew, the door was shut in front of him.

Following him was something he wanted to do, but he saw enough movies to know that Ethan would yell at him if he did or maybe just ignore him.

And that was how he made his last day worse than ever.

The dagger made him want Ethan back. He wanted to hear his voice again. But he knew that wasn't possible. Maybe if he'd call Ethan's number, he'd get his voice mail. But he didn't want to dial the number. It would make him cry just trying to press the first number.

"I miss you so much, E." He was once told by his grandmother that dead people could hear your voice if you try to speak with them. "Can you hear me? Please give me a sign if you can."

He waited and waited. Nothing happened. But then, one of his pencils on the table rolled on the table and fell on the floor. He was sure it was him. It wouldn't make sense if the pencil did this all by itself.

He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry for what I did. I really am." He put the dagger back in the box he got for it. "I'll keep my promise. For you."

Even after a week, it still made Benny's heart ache. But he didn't want to cry. Crying wouldn't bring him back, would it?

But whatever nice memories he tried to remember, he still wouldn't let go the moment of his death. He saw the light go from his eyes. He was forced to look at Ethan dying with his own eyes.

That night, Benny saw Ethan get into his house. Now, he knew he'd go in, his parents would see him heartbroken and they'd hate Benny forever. Or maybe they didn't know and he'd tell them. Either way, they'd hate him for breaking their son's soul.

He sat by his window, feeling guilty for what he said and what he had done to make his friend close to tears.

Minutes later, a woman he had never seen before walked into the house. And a minute afterwards, he saw her shadow in Ethan's room. He noticed that she was there for a while. Then, after an hour, she left; so did Ethan in five minutes.

This was his chance. Ethan was outside and alone at the moment. He needed to make things right. He grabbed his jacket and ran downstairs quickly. When he went outside, he expected Ethan to be in view, but he wasn't. And so, he kept walking, looking for him everywhere until he gave up and decided to go home.

Just as he thought this day was bad, it got worse. While he was on his way home, he saw a smirking teenagers coming his way. He was instantly scared, but not by the way he was smiling, but by his clothes. He was wearing a black hoodie on top of his head. But the thing that scared him was the red drop stitched on the hood. His grandmother said that if he ever saw this, he should just run or find a way to escape. They weren't people who humans should be scared of in general. But those that have the red drop on their shirt were supernatural hunters. They'd kill anything involved in this world. Even a spell caster or a seer.

He backed away slowly. He didn't want to show his fear, but he couldn't just hide it. He heard that they had every weapon you could think of to fight the supernatural. But Benny didn't need any special weapon. They could just kill him with a knife.

If one was scary enough, then how about eight coming from all the sides so he wouldn't escape?

He really hated the fact that there was no one in the street. What was worse that he was close to his house. He could see it. What was worse? That he was going to be killed when he was close to his home? Or that Benny couldn't say his apology to Ethan?

Just then, his friend appeared from behind, but he was a bit far away. He wanted to tell him to run and hide. Unfortunately, somehow, the hunters knew he was also involved in the supernatural and he was brought.

They were holding their arms behind them so they wouldn't do anything, apparently.

"What do you want?" Benny asked. He knew what they wanted, but maybe acting stupid would help his case. Or not.

"Oh, you know what we want… Benny," one of them said. He appeared to be the head of their group or something.

One of them pulled the head of their hunting group close to him. What was worse, he couldn't see their faces. None of them. But the guy that puller their leader was pleading.

"Please don't do anything to them. Please." He spoke in no louder than a whisper, so it was hard to know how he sounded like.

The leader looked at one of the hunters who had his hands free. "Hold him."

"What?" Then, he was held by his arms just like Benny and Ethan were.

They were all dragged to a dark alley with a narrow, small path. It made Benny shiver from the inside at how creepy this was.

"Wait, how do you know my name?" Benny asked.

The guy laughed as if Benny was making a joke. "You and Ethan… you're famous. Not just to your freak show of a world, but to us too."

The pleading guy spoke again. "If you touch them, I'll kill you."

"What? Feeling bad for them?" the leader asked mockingly.

While the two were having a conversation, Benny looked at Ethan, who was also looking at him. He didn't need a book to read his face. It simply said, "It's over."

Benny wouldn't let that happen. Since Ethan had given up on fighting, he had to do something.

"Now," the leader said. "Let's get to business, shall we?" Benny had never been so scared to see a knife in his life. What made this moment different?

"Wait," Ethan said before Benny could speak. The leader raised his head up to look at Ethan, Benny guessed. "Don't kill Benny, please."

"Why would I do that?" he asked.

"Because," Ethan looked at Benny. It wasn't just a normal look. It was a look that had sadness, hurt, love, care and hesitation for some reason. "I'm willingly going to let you kill me. No screaming, no struggling, no stalling." The leader's head went down to look at the knife in his hands.

"No, please. Don't do this," the pleading boy said. He seemed to struggle more.

Unlike him, Benny was so surprised by this, he was frozen in place. He mouthed, "Why?"

Ethan's words, unlike his, weren't mouthed. "I want to show you that I care. I'd do anything to protect you." He knew Ethan really liked him, but that didn't mean that he should do this. There had to be another way, yet Ethan didn't think this through.

Benny could see the leader's smirk on his face. "Aww! So touching!" His mocking voice made Benny want to take the knife and kill him with it. Unfortunately, no matter how much he tried to free himself, he couldn't.

The leader's smile grew now. "Okay, fine, Ethan. Deal."

When the guy holding Ethan made him walk forward, Benny tried quickly to think of a spell that might help him. But the worry made him unfocused. All he could think of was, Does he seriously want to die?

"You might want to see this," the leader told Benny. He turned his head towards the pleading guy. "You too. It's a great view from your place."

He could see how evil he was. He liked the rest more. They didn't talk. But him, he hated how he talked, how he was so happy to get Ethan's blood pouring out.

"Have any last words?"

Ethan looked at Benny then back to the head of the group. "I guess." He sighed and looked at the pleading guy. "I don't know who you are, and I don't know what to say to you, honestly, but thank you, I guess, for trying to stop this." Then he looked at Benny. That was when his tears came down. "Remember me."

Benny didn't know how to react. He wanted to stop this and fast. But he couldn't. he couldn't do a spell, he couldn't fight against the one behind him, so what was he supposed to do?

He just nodded, and looked down in shame for not being able to help. What kind of a spell caster was he if he couldn't do a thing?

When he looked up, he saw their leader readying his knife. Before Benny knew it, the knife was in Ethan's chest. He couldn't see him clearly because he realized that his vision was blurry because of the tears in his eyes, but he saw that his eyes widened from the pain.

Benny wanted to scream Ethan's name out loud, but he couldn't. He couldn't speak. It was hard to see his friend like this.

His brain started working again, and he knew what to do. When he saw Ethan fall to the ground, he raised his leg up and kicked the guy behind him as hard as he could. Luckily for him, he kicked him in the place where it hurt the most. When one of the hunters came in front of him to stop him, he remembered the spell he used on Richard Bruner to make him pass out for that short period of time. The hunter then fell to the ground. When he reached the bloody Ethan on the ground, it looked like more hunters wanted to attack him. But he heard a hunter say, "Leave him. Our work is done."

This didn't matter anymore. Ethan was in front of him, lying on the ground, bleeding badly. He did the first thing in his mind and brought his phone out quickly to call the ambulance, help, anything. He just knew that the more he waited the more Ethan's chance of survival would lessen.

Once they said they were coming, he put his phone down to have a better look at Ethan. The knife was no longer there, but the wound looked very bad and deep. Ethan's face was getting pale. The area under his eyes was wet with tears.

He said the first thing that came to his mind. "You promised we'd be friends forever, E. You promised."

Ethan just nodded. Again he knew how to read him. It was an "I know".

He remembered all the good times they had. When they were young, the Morgans invited their family to a picnic in the park. Benny wasn't excited. But it was a nice memory. His mother was there at that time, his grandmother was with him and Ethan was still there, healthy and very alive.

He remembered the time they went skiing in an ice rink. Ethan was so scared at first. He didn't blame him. He was nine. After more than half an hour, Ethan had managed to learn how to ski.

He remembered when they went camping at night together. When they both woke up at midnight, they kept looking at the stars, counting how many big ones were there. And when Benny would lose count, Ethan would hold his hand, point up at the star he reached and count with him.

But now, this seemed like a fantasy, a world he could never live in again.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm so sorry." Even with help coming, he knew the chances of him making it were so low that he couldn't make it.

Ethan's eyes slowly started closing, and Benny was scared. He was very scared. Just then, he felt Ethan's hand tickling his lightly. Because he didn't want to make Ethan feel like he didn't care, he held his arm

"No, please don't leave me. Please," Benny begged. It was of course useless.

"Goodbye," Ethan whispered. Then, his eyes shut close, and his hand squeezed his for a moment, then it let go.

All his hope was gone now. He couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't ready for this to happen. Still, Ethan bothered to say 'goodbye' to him even with his weak body.

He didn't hate Ethan at all like he said earlier. He was stupid to say that. He never hated him. He knew that Ethan didn't just like him. Liking someone couldn't have possibly let him sacrifice himself. Maybe it was love, and Ethan was too shy to admit it.

Benny did the last thing he thought he'd do. He put his hand on his already less warm cheek and kissed his forehead.

He stayed like this, weeping and crying over Ethan's body and holding his hand until the ambulance came and they took him away.

Then, he remembered going to the hospital. His family and the vampires showed up. But by then, it was too late. He saw his parents standing beside his body, crying. His mother broke his heart the most. She had put her hand on his face and stroked his cheeks. She ran her fingers through his hair, saying "I love you" to him over and over again, each time in a different way. His sister was sobbing so hard, Benny had to take her in his arms and hug her to make her quiet down. His father just sat on a chair, holding his arms, never looking away from his face.

He looked at the picture frame that was on his table. It was of the day of the dance when Sarah was hiding behind them so Mrs. Morgan wouldn't have seen that she didn't appear on cameras.

That night was hard and rough, but they had a good time at the end.

But that wasn't all that happened this week. After Ethan's funeral, his grandmother died because of old age. He didn't even know that she was that old. And he hated his life. He hated that everyone he loved left him. First, it was his mother, then Ethan and then his grandmother.

Now, his only family was his father. He had no one else left. But his father was always on business trips, so now, Benny was alone in the house. He hated this. He wanted to say he hated his father, but he didn't. he just hated the trips.

"I know you can't answer me, Ethan, but I've been wondering, did you still like me… even after I said all those things about you that night?" He shook his head. This was useless. He just missed him a lot. He wanted answers, though.

But right now, he had to go to the Morgan's because it appeared that he forgot his hard drive in Ethan's room. Plus, he just wanted an excuse to see his room and sit in there.

It took three minutes for him to go outside, wait for his parents to answer and then go upstairs.

But in their house, it was getting more depressing and dull. Could he blame them? One of their family members was murdered.

Once he reached the door to Ethan's room at the end of the hallway, he slowly opened the door, a bit not prepared to see the room he spent most of the time in. When the door was fully opened, he inhaled. It didn't smell like anything at all in there, but he knew Ethan's cologne, and he knew that it was lightly sprayed here and there.

Everything was in its place. His computer was still turned on with the screen shut. His chair wasn't neatly placed. It was just thrown in the room. His bed was neatly made.

His hard drive was on the desk beside the computer. It had many pictures from his camera. Usually, he'd delete the pictures from the camera and keep them on something else. He didn't know why, he just did this.

Once he put it in his huge jacket pockets, he sat on the bed, looking at everything in the room, taking his time to remember every details.

"You miss him a lot, don't you?" He spun his head to see that Mrs. Morgan was standing by the door.

He nodded and looked back at the walls. He remembered the day they painted them. Ethan was very excited.

Mrs. Morgan sat beside him and put her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently, just like his mother did when he was a kid. "He loved you a lot, you know."

So, he guessed right. He did love him. But he thought he was wrong, so this made it unexpected. "He did?"

From the corner of his eyes, he could see her nod.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Morgan," he said. He didn't think he'd say those words. He thought he'd be saying "I miss him" or something.

"Why?"

"He probably told you, but he wasn't happy on his last day in here. It was my fault. I-"

"Benny, it's fine. He cares about you. That's all that matters." Then she gave him a side-way hug. "I can never be mad at you, okay?"

The feeling that she meant it made him know it was true. "Okay." He felt the need to leave when she let him go. "Thank you," he said. "I think I'll leave right now. But it was nice staying here for a while. Again, thank you."

She smiled at him and said, "It's no problem."

At least, this family was more supportive than his. Two days ago, when his father arrived, they were talking about his grandmother. And when his father wanted to change the subject, he asked, "So, how's Ethan?"

He didn't even know he died until Benny told him. His father never cared about his life. He was never there for more than a week.

He went downstairs quickly. He wouldn't usually run, but this time, he wanted to be alone at home. Once he got outside, he decided to take a short walk instead. As he was walking, he moved his head to look around until he saw the alley that Ethan was killed in. He had never been so sad and angry in his life like this. But he let it go. If he didn't move on, then he'd live his whole life in misery. Even if he knew that Ethan died still in love with and rejected by him. But over this week, he realized his feelings towards him.

Maybe he wasn't completely straight after all. He liked Ethan now. It was late to say that, and he knew it, but he just liked Ethan. He just did. And now, he had to fill the empty space in his heart. He had to find someone else. He had to move on.

In between the Weirs's house and the Morgan's house was also another dark alley. But the thing was, he felt a hand touch his arm and he was pulled in there.

For a moment, he felt scared the hunters wanted to kill him now. But the one who pulled him wasn't wearing their clothes, though they were wearing a hoodie.

"Who are you? And why did you pull me in here?"

The person paused, but he could see their lips, and they opened it to speak. Even before they could speak, he guessed who it was, but it couldn't be possible. The way they'd stop before speaking, the way the hands went into the pockets, the way the jaw looked, the chin, the lips.

He didn't give them a chance to speak. But he thought of the most answer that made sense. "Ian?"

Ian was Ethan's adopted cousin. They said he was, but Benny doubted that. He looked exactly like Ethan except for the blue eyes. He kind of felt that there was a stronger connection between him and Ethan. Unlike Ethan, he was not very smart.

He shook his head. "Close."

From his voice, Benny felt he might just drop down to sit and cover his face so no one would see him so sad.

"You can't be Ethan. You can't be. He's dead." Unless this was his ghost, but he doubted it. Ghosts appeared either at certain times of emergencies or because they want to out of rebellion, as said in one of the books given by his grandmother.

He took a step forward. Now, the street lamp showed enough of his face to show that it was him. His stolen innocent smile was back on his face. But it couldn't be possible. "Relax, Benny. I know you're scared… and confused, but I'll explain."

He put his hand forward to touch his shoulder, to make sure he was real. He could feel the hood and he could inhale his smell. He was real. This wasn't a dream. He knew it.

He put his arms around him and pulled him close until their heads were beside each other. "Are you going to go or are you staying?"

He felt Ethan's arms around him. "Staying." Then, his head fell into his shoulder.

It wasn't expected for Benny. "How long?"

"Depending. I might stay for five years or more. Maybe until I'm human and I reach old age."

"Wait," Benny said and pulled him away. "So, you're not human?"

"Not exactly." He didn't know what he should've expected.

"Then, what are you?"

"Half-dead human, as in half human… half ghost."

"You're kidding, right?" He didn't think such a thing existed.

"Just be happy I'm back, would you?" he asked, almost laughing.

Nodding, he asked, "So, where are you staying?"

"No one's in your house, right?" Ethan asked.

The sentence didn't have to be finished, anyway, since he knew where it was going. "Yes, and you can stay. But why?"

"Because I have to follow some rules. And for a month, I should let only you know about me being alive inside of Whitechapel. I can tell people outside of town, just not ones living in here."

Understanding the situation wasn't very hard. It was just a lot to take in, but he nodded nonetheless.

"Come on. Let's get you in," he said. His hands wrapped around his shoulders, making him look into his face. Unexpectedly, he smiled. The thought of maybe that he was hurt because of the rejection and that it would keep his spirit low was in his head, but he was wrong.

Once they were in, Benny let him sit on the couch to rest. He could see how bad the situation was for him.

"It's all happening so fast. I died and came back so quickly. It's…" his words disappeared.

What he needed right now was to be calm.

"It's fine. Maybe you should sleep and… you know, chill. Maybe tomorrow I can dig into all the details."

He nodded. "I don't really need to sleep, eat or drink… but I can. And right now, I want to rest."

So, Benny went with him to his room. Of course, since Ethan was sleeping, he didn't want to leave him alone, so he changed his clothes. When he came out from his bathroom, he saw that Ethan already took a mattress and laid it on the floor with a pillow thrown lazily on it. He wondered how he did it all by himself. Though, he wasn't surprised that he knew where everything was. They were used to sleeping at each other's houses all the time.

Ethan looked at him in wonder. "Hey, where are the blankets?"

That was one thing: he lost them. He almost laughed at himself. "Don't have any."

A heavy sigh escaped Ethan mouth. "What am I supposed to do now?"

He tried to think this through. When he got an idea, he first said, "Well, first, go change into one of my PJs. Second, well, I'm fine with sharing the bed. We've done it many times before." It seemed that worry dropped by when he realized that things were different. He knew that Ethan liked him, and he like Ethan too. But could he tell him that? And sleeping together in his bed might not have been the best idea.

The nodding Ethan went to Benny's closet to take out a pajama. "I think your clothes are kind of big on me."

When he came close to the closet, he picked out one of his smallest pair of pants he had and a t-shirt. "Go try those on."

He waited until Ethan was out of view, and when he was, he released a breath. He couldn't believe he was acting so calm around Ethan when he should have been freaking out. But he couldn't. He remembered the last time he was reacting badly and all it did was make Ethan miserable. He needed to stay cool.

Ethan came out of the bathroom, wearing his clothes and carrying the ones he was wearing in his hand. "How do I look?"

A smile appeared on his face. He was never more glad having him standing in front of him. "Great."

Tiredness came over Benny, so he quickly told Ethan where to put his clothes and he climbed on bed, making space for Ethan for when he'd come. He was gone only a minute, so Benny wasn't alone for a long time.

His friend climbed on top of the bed and lied down beside him, their chest facing each other. Before he slept, he remembered looking at Ethan's brown eyes. The last thought that came into his mind before his eyes closed was, I missed those eyes.

Good God! I only cried once. That's good. I only cried about the parts where the stars are mentioned. I guess this is… the fault in our stars. Haha. No? K. But if you haven't read this book, TFiOS, I WILL kill you in your sleep. Nah, but I might tie you up, not kill you. Haha.

Well, anyway, I know I made Ethan live so quickly, but the plot afterwards is the interesting one too. More Bethan, more answered questions, more secrets to uncover and less heart breaking. Haha. Don't worry. Next chapter, I'll tell you how the resurrection happened, I'll introduce that Ian that was mentioned this chapter, and I'll tell you who that woman that came into the Morgan's house is later. Don't worry.

Until next time…

-TEM