Don't own SW, don't own Xan, basically, only own Enovan, and a few OC chars.
This is a rather strange fic, I'll say that now. But it would be great if you gave it a chance! :D Please r/r, thanks.
Come What Will
Well, it's only an hour more before sunrise, and then we're going to die, aren't we, Xanatos? It shouldn't end like this, not like this, but that's how it's going to be. I'm going to kill you, then die myself. Seems almost morbid, yet, for the galaxy's sake, its for the best. But if it's for the best, why does my heart quack at the thought of what I must do? Why does it feel like I am about to kill a part of myself? Why does it feel like someone has stabbed me through the gut and left me to die?
I look down to you, to see you pale, weak. Yes, you know you're going to die, even if I didn't do it. When that ship crashed, the debris penetrated your back and shattered your spin. It's a rather sad and horrid way to die, Xan, of starvation and dehydration. Good thing I'm giving you the easy way out, right? You didn't do that for me though, you left me to starve to death, while your darkness became mine. I should let you rot, yet, some part of me still loves you as my best friend, still wants to end the pain we both feel. A part of me still pities you, because I know why you turned. It must have been horrible to go mad for that while, I know how it is, I nearly went mad when you turned, so I can understand madness. But I can't understand your madness, because, to be truthful, I've never really been in love. Vampires are not suppose to love, we're death bringers after all. Though, I think I loved M'jah. Yes, I loved her, just as you loved Malaika. See, perhaps I do understand your pain.
You know, despite how pale and pained you look, you're still beautiful. It's sad to end such beauty. I remember to when I first saw you, I didn't know what to think of you, you were too beautiful, even as a child, to be mortal. Yet you were, and are. Those soul filled eyes of yours are haunting, mesmerizing, and soul freezing all at once. Just looking at them pains me. Why did you have to be born with such eyes? Yet I wouldn't wish another pair then the ones you have to adorn your face. Your skin used to be flawless, Xan, what happened? Now there is a half circle adorning your right check, and my soul pangs every time I look upon it. A mark to show the mutilation, the scaring of your soul? Yes, that is what it is. Ah, my best friend, what have you brought us to? I should hate you, should curse you as we sit here, waiting for death, yet I cannot. Too much lays within my heart, my love for you as my greatest friend, and hatred for what has become of you. But I could never hate you, fallen angel though you are.
To think, this day has been foreshadowed since the moment I met you. Well, I said I would stick by you to the end. That I would protect you, that I would do everything within the powers that resided within me to help you. I swore that at an age when I didn't truly understand what I meant. But I do now, and here is where I fail, at our deaths. I couldn't fulfill it anyways; I couldn't protect you from everything. Though I tried my best.
It seems like forever, and yet it has only been twenty years. Twenty years of friendship, sadness, love, and joy. Yes, Xanatos, you may have forgotten it, but I have not. And as I sit by your broken form, holding onto your pale hand, waiting for death, I want to remember it all, just one last time...
I was three years old when they brought me to Coruscant. I was among the first of my kind to actually prove to be Force sensitive. Of course, there were others, but my Master and Mistress, or in the more common language, my parents, were the only ones of my kind willing to give their child up. They cried, yes, but they had told me I had a destiny to fulfill.
From the moment I entered the Temple, I was treated differently from everyone else. I was a vampire after all, even if I hadn't showed my vampire traits yet. They thought that perhaps if I could be taught to hold it off until I was to be trained with a Master, then I could blood bind myself to that master, and all would be well. Didn't work out that way, seemingly.
I can remember the very day I was allowed to enter the crèche. I had nearly been at the temple for three weeks before that, being checked and rechecked for any signs of my vampire self, and to see how my aggression levels were. I was fine; my aggression levels were abnormal for a human, past strangely low for a vampire. They couldn't understand it, but there was nothing keeping me from joining the rest of the kids.
Healer Neron lead me to the crèche, and I remember how nervous I was. I had never met a human child before, or any other type of alien child for that matter. I was so used to adults, or other vampires, that I couldn't imagine what another child of a different kind was like.
When we arrived, she let go of my hand, and gently pushed me forward. I looked into the large room, and nearly ran, for there in front of me were many children near my age, all of them involved in some game or other. I couldn't grasp the concept of so many children in one area, especially so many different kinds. In my world, children are rare; there were only maybe five hundred in a population of ten thousand. Not much, really, and I possibly had only seen one or two children in my entire short life at that time.
But the moment I stepped into that room, I was overwhelmed. So many kids, too many in my honest opinion. I wanted to run back to Neron, but no, she was gone, and I was lost in a tide of children my own age. So, I fled to a corner, and just watched as the others played. I didn't understand their play, for I had never played myself. I only remember lessons and stories taught to me when I was that young. Yet I was faced with actual childhood then, and I knew not how to work within it.
So I watched, and I learned what I could, though much of it didn't make sense to my isolated mind. Then I spied a flash of black hair, moving rapidly through the crowd. This shouldn't have caught my attention; there were a lot of black haired children in the room, yet the way the lights turned it an interesting shade of blackish blue, like the wings of what my people called a raven, a black bird. Then I caught a glance of wide midnight blue eyes, surrounded by a pale face, before it disappeared back into the crowd.
I don't know why, but I felt drawn to those midnight eyes, to that pale face. I overcame my fears, and stepped into the crowd, to nearly be run over. You came running by, nearly colliding with me, but lithely side stepped me just before you could hit me. But your pursuers were not so lithe. They hit me dead on, causing both them and I to fall. I was floored by one of the larger boys in the group, but being as I am, the weight didn't bother me, nor knock the wind from me. It only annoyed me, as I could truly hear his racing heart perfectly.
The boy glared at me as he stood, his dark eyes flashing at the thought of losing his prey. I didn't feel scared, what could a mortal do to me? Even at that age, I knew exactly what I was, and I knew what could and couldn't hurt me. Maybe that is why I've taken so many stupid risks...
"I'm sorry," I told him.
"No you aren't, runt, you got in my way on purpose," the slightly older boy growled.
"No he didn't, Zeb! And I thought you were after me, not someone younger. Lost your nerve to fight already?" a voice came from behind me.
I turned, to see the face I was pursuing. There stood before me was a boy of no more then five, with intelligent flashing blue eyes, a smirk twisting those pink lips, with a cherub face, that held just a little demon. I thought then I had found a fallen angel, not a mortal, and would have believed that idea, had not I heard your heart beating calmly in your chest.
"Shut up, you know you are getting your beating soon enough. Why ask for it early?" Zeb sneered, pushing me aside to get in your face.
"Oh, I would, if I didn't know Master Se' wasn't standing behind you," you said, and smirked.
Zeb turned, and locked up into the calm, though slightly annoyed crèche Master.
"I wasn't doing anything," he said lamely.
"I'm sure you weren't, Zeberath. Now, why don't you leave them alone and return to your group?" Master Se' said, the stern tone just under the honey sweet one.
He nodded, and motioned to his friends, then walked off quickly. Master Se' smiled fleetingly at us, before turning away to continue her watch.
When she was gone, you approached me, a satisfied smirk on your lips.
"He never learns. I always have a back up plan," you said, then stuck out your hand to me, "Hi, I'm Xanatos Crion, of Telos. You must be new."
"Yes, I am..." I said, unsure of what to do.
Grinning, you grab my hand, giving it one firm shake before letting me go, "Well, welcome to the crèche. What's your name?"
"Enovan," I said, brushing a strand of gray hair from my face.
"Great. You're the vamp boy, aren't you?" you asked, still grinning.
"Yes," I said, nervous.
You really did make me nervous during that time. I don't know what it was, probably your infectious hyperactive nature, and the fact you weren't afraid of me. You knew exactly who I was, and you weren't afraid. Even the adults had been slightly scared of me for what I was, yet you were really the first person to ever treat me like it didn't matter if I was a blood sucker or not.
"Well, vamps have friends, right?" you asked.
"Yes..." I said, unsure where you were taking this.
"Do you want to be my friend?" you asked, that grin of yours threatening to split your face open.
"I guess..." I said, unsure.
I really couldn't imagine why you wanted to be friends with a vampire. I could easily have turned against you, you knew that. Yet you took the risk. And look what happened. But I never regretted agreeing, I never regretted you for asking.
"Great! Come on!" you said, and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the fray of children.
This is a rather strange fic, I'll say that now. But it would be great if you gave it a chance! :D Please r/r, thanks.
Come What Will
Well, it's only an hour more before sunrise, and then we're going to die, aren't we, Xanatos? It shouldn't end like this, not like this, but that's how it's going to be. I'm going to kill you, then die myself. Seems almost morbid, yet, for the galaxy's sake, its for the best. But if it's for the best, why does my heart quack at the thought of what I must do? Why does it feel like I am about to kill a part of myself? Why does it feel like someone has stabbed me through the gut and left me to die?
I look down to you, to see you pale, weak. Yes, you know you're going to die, even if I didn't do it. When that ship crashed, the debris penetrated your back and shattered your spin. It's a rather sad and horrid way to die, Xan, of starvation and dehydration. Good thing I'm giving you the easy way out, right? You didn't do that for me though, you left me to starve to death, while your darkness became mine. I should let you rot, yet, some part of me still loves you as my best friend, still wants to end the pain we both feel. A part of me still pities you, because I know why you turned. It must have been horrible to go mad for that while, I know how it is, I nearly went mad when you turned, so I can understand madness. But I can't understand your madness, because, to be truthful, I've never really been in love. Vampires are not suppose to love, we're death bringers after all. Though, I think I loved M'jah. Yes, I loved her, just as you loved Malaika. See, perhaps I do understand your pain.
You know, despite how pale and pained you look, you're still beautiful. It's sad to end such beauty. I remember to when I first saw you, I didn't know what to think of you, you were too beautiful, even as a child, to be mortal. Yet you were, and are. Those soul filled eyes of yours are haunting, mesmerizing, and soul freezing all at once. Just looking at them pains me. Why did you have to be born with such eyes? Yet I wouldn't wish another pair then the ones you have to adorn your face. Your skin used to be flawless, Xan, what happened? Now there is a half circle adorning your right check, and my soul pangs every time I look upon it. A mark to show the mutilation, the scaring of your soul? Yes, that is what it is. Ah, my best friend, what have you brought us to? I should hate you, should curse you as we sit here, waiting for death, yet I cannot. Too much lays within my heart, my love for you as my greatest friend, and hatred for what has become of you. But I could never hate you, fallen angel though you are.
To think, this day has been foreshadowed since the moment I met you. Well, I said I would stick by you to the end. That I would protect you, that I would do everything within the powers that resided within me to help you. I swore that at an age when I didn't truly understand what I meant. But I do now, and here is where I fail, at our deaths. I couldn't fulfill it anyways; I couldn't protect you from everything. Though I tried my best.
It seems like forever, and yet it has only been twenty years. Twenty years of friendship, sadness, love, and joy. Yes, Xanatos, you may have forgotten it, but I have not. And as I sit by your broken form, holding onto your pale hand, waiting for death, I want to remember it all, just one last time...
I was three years old when they brought me to Coruscant. I was among the first of my kind to actually prove to be Force sensitive. Of course, there were others, but my Master and Mistress, or in the more common language, my parents, were the only ones of my kind willing to give their child up. They cried, yes, but they had told me I had a destiny to fulfill.
From the moment I entered the Temple, I was treated differently from everyone else. I was a vampire after all, even if I hadn't showed my vampire traits yet. They thought that perhaps if I could be taught to hold it off until I was to be trained with a Master, then I could blood bind myself to that master, and all would be well. Didn't work out that way, seemingly.
I can remember the very day I was allowed to enter the crèche. I had nearly been at the temple for three weeks before that, being checked and rechecked for any signs of my vampire self, and to see how my aggression levels were. I was fine; my aggression levels were abnormal for a human, past strangely low for a vampire. They couldn't understand it, but there was nothing keeping me from joining the rest of the kids.
Healer Neron lead me to the crèche, and I remember how nervous I was. I had never met a human child before, or any other type of alien child for that matter. I was so used to adults, or other vampires, that I couldn't imagine what another child of a different kind was like.
When we arrived, she let go of my hand, and gently pushed me forward. I looked into the large room, and nearly ran, for there in front of me were many children near my age, all of them involved in some game or other. I couldn't grasp the concept of so many children in one area, especially so many different kinds. In my world, children are rare; there were only maybe five hundred in a population of ten thousand. Not much, really, and I possibly had only seen one or two children in my entire short life at that time.
But the moment I stepped into that room, I was overwhelmed. So many kids, too many in my honest opinion. I wanted to run back to Neron, but no, she was gone, and I was lost in a tide of children my own age. So, I fled to a corner, and just watched as the others played. I didn't understand their play, for I had never played myself. I only remember lessons and stories taught to me when I was that young. Yet I was faced with actual childhood then, and I knew not how to work within it.
So I watched, and I learned what I could, though much of it didn't make sense to my isolated mind. Then I spied a flash of black hair, moving rapidly through the crowd. This shouldn't have caught my attention; there were a lot of black haired children in the room, yet the way the lights turned it an interesting shade of blackish blue, like the wings of what my people called a raven, a black bird. Then I caught a glance of wide midnight blue eyes, surrounded by a pale face, before it disappeared back into the crowd.
I don't know why, but I felt drawn to those midnight eyes, to that pale face. I overcame my fears, and stepped into the crowd, to nearly be run over. You came running by, nearly colliding with me, but lithely side stepped me just before you could hit me. But your pursuers were not so lithe. They hit me dead on, causing both them and I to fall. I was floored by one of the larger boys in the group, but being as I am, the weight didn't bother me, nor knock the wind from me. It only annoyed me, as I could truly hear his racing heart perfectly.
The boy glared at me as he stood, his dark eyes flashing at the thought of losing his prey. I didn't feel scared, what could a mortal do to me? Even at that age, I knew exactly what I was, and I knew what could and couldn't hurt me. Maybe that is why I've taken so many stupid risks...
"I'm sorry," I told him.
"No you aren't, runt, you got in my way on purpose," the slightly older boy growled.
"No he didn't, Zeb! And I thought you were after me, not someone younger. Lost your nerve to fight already?" a voice came from behind me.
I turned, to see the face I was pursuing. There stood before me was a boy of no more then five, with intelligent flashing blue eyes, a smirk twisting those pink lips, with a cherub face, that held just a little demon. I thought then I had found a fallen angel, not a mortal, and would have believed that idea, had not I heard your heart beating calmly in your chest.
"Shut up, you know you are getting your beating soon enough. Why ask for it early?" Zeb sneered, pushing me aside to get in your face.
"Oh, I would, if I didn't know Master Se' wasn't standing behind you," you said, and smirked.
Zeb turned, and locked up into the calm, though slightly annoyed crèche Master.
"I wasn't doing anything," he said lamely.
"I'm sure you weren't, Zeberath. Now, why don't you leave them alone and return to your group?" Master Se' said, the stern tone just under the honey sweet one.
He nodded, and motioned to his friends, then walked off quickly. Master Se' smiled fleetingly at us, before turning away to continue her watch.
When she was gone, you approached me, a satisfied smirk on your lips.
"He never learns. I always have a back up plan," you said, then stuck out your hand to me, "Hi, I'm Xanatos Crion, of Telos. You must be new."
"Yes, I am..." I said, unsure of what to do.
Grinning, you grab my hand, giving it one firm shake before letting me go, "Well, welcome to the crèche. What's your name?"
"Enovan," I said, brushing a strand of gray hair from my face.
"Great. You're the vamp boy, aren't you?" you asked, still grinning.
"Yes," I said, nervous.
You really did make me nervous during that time. I don't know what it was, probably your infectious hyperactive nature, and the fact you weren't afraid of me. You knew exactly who I was, and you weren't afraid. Even the adults had been slightly scared of me for what I was, yet you were really the first person to ever treat me like it didn't matter if I was a blood sucker or not.
"Well, vamps have friends, right?" you asked.
"Yes..." I said, unsure where you were taking this.
"Do you want to be my friend?" you asked, that grin of yours threatening to split your face open.
"I guess..." I said, unsure.
I really couldn't imagine why you wanted to be friends with a vampire. I could easily have turned against you, you knew that. Yet you took the risk. And look what happened. But I never regretted agreeing, I never regretted you for asking.
"Great! Come on!" you said, and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the fray of children.