Sam stared straight down, watching the water lap gently at the rocks below. The water looked cool, refreshing, made ever more tantalizing by the thick summer air that warmed his skin. Even in nothing but a pair of grey boxer briefs, Sam could feel himself beginning to over heat, beads of sweat began to dot his forehead.
Am I sweating because of the heat, or because i'm standing at the edge of a freaking cliff? He thought to himself. He gripped the edge of the blunt rock with his toes. Trying to steady himself as he peered over the edge. The sun was directly overhead, beating down hard, making the dark rock hot beneath his feet. He was going to have to make a decision soon, Jump, or fry right here on this damn rock.
"Jump!" A voice echoed from below. The sudden noise brought him out of his thoughts and his eyes landed on a smiling Mercedes, floating carelessly on her back in the water below. She cut through the water with ease, enjoying the cool sensation as the water circled her body and dampened her hair. Sam stared down at her, licking his lips. Not sure what he was more jealous of, her getting to enjoy the water, or the water for getting to enjoy her.
"Samuel Evans If you don't get your bony ass down here quick" She sang, splashing water into the air.
"How about you help my bony ass find another way down there then?" He tried to add a laugh behind his words, but they came out more pleadingly then he would have liked.
"Why look for another way when there is one right in front of you? All you've got to do is jump, baby."
"Sam peered over the edge again, attempting to measure the distance from where he stood, to the water below. He began to feel nauseous as visions of himself jumping and slamming into the rocks filled his head. As if she could read his thoughts, Mercedes cut in.
"Sam, do you trust me?"
"Here we go", Sam looked at her and rolled his eyes. "Mercedes, trusting you isn't going to make me any less scared of heights. But to answer your question, yes. Of course I trust you.
She smiled and swam closer to the bottom of the cliff, looking up towards Sam. She cleared her throat and straightened her spine, dramatically enunciating each word.
"The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear — fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety" Do you know where thats from?"
"I don't know, Dr Seuss for adults?"
Mercedes laughed to herself, splashing water as high as she could in an attempt to reach Sam. "There she goes again" He thought to himself. The enigma that is Mercedes Jones makes another debut. Sometimes Sam wished she could be a little more straight forward with what it was that she was trying to say. It's not that he was too stupid to understand her references, but he could tell she used her intelligence as a cover, a front. A way to say what she wanted to say, without having to say anything at all. A way to avoid really opening up.
That was the thing about their relationship. On one side of the coin, being around her made him feel whole, comfortable, settled. With her home wasn't a word, It wasn't tangible or quantifiable. You couldn't go up to its door and knock. It was a feeling, rich and intense and all consuming. With her, everything felt like an end and a beginning all at the same time.
But on the other side of the coin, there where times like this. Times where he would be up on a ledge, and she would be down below, out of his grasp. Physically and mentally. He constantly felt like he was chasing her, trying to reach out to her but was always stuck two steps behind. He would never be able to catch up, he was sure of that. But every step he took to try and match her pace, he could feel himself growing, learning, feeling and being better then he did a few steps back. It was almost as if this mission to get to her, to get to know her, was making him stronger with every step. This must be what they mean when they talk about your true love making you a better person. All Sam knew is that Mercedes Jones was someone that he is going to spend his whole life trying to learn. And today was going to be another lesson.
"Sam, come down here please." Mercedes said gently, snapping him out of his thoughts once again. He looked down to see her bright brown eyes gazing up at him, a look of sympathy spread across her face.
"Look, I'm not going to tell you that jumping isn't scary. I'm not going to tell you that falling isn't scary. And i'm not going to tell you that hitting the water isn't going to be scary."
"Thanks for the pep talk. You should really make a career of it." Sam chuckled. This wasn't at all the reassuring speech he was expecting. He backed his toes away from the edge of the cliff, more determined then before that he would take his chances burning alive on this giant slab of stone. Mercedes noticed him retreat and continued to speak.
"But what I can promise you, is that the fear wont last forever. Once you're in the water, you will be fine. You might even be proud of yourself. I know I will be." She added with a broad smile.
"Sam absorbed her words, even more-importantly, he absorbed her smile. He wanted to do this for her. She had been acting strange all week long, seeing this side of her was a welcomed and much needed change. During this past week she was suddenly more busy, or so she said, canceling almost all the plans Sam had tried to make with her. And their kisses, once long and deep, had become short and lack luster. Any touch from Mercedes sent a satisfying buzz throughout Sams' body, but he missed the earth shattering kisses. The type of kisses that would inevitably bring her into his arms and into his bed. All week he had an overwhelming sense of doom regarding their relationship. He spent many nights laying awake, racking his brain, replaying their conversations over and over in his head in search of a clue as to why she was acting this way. So on Thursday when Mercedes suggested they take a trip to the lake on the weekend, Sam was relieved. He didn't know what caused the change in her attitude, but he was grateful for it, and he didn't want to ruin this by being a wimp.
Feeling a little more confident, he once again placed his toes at the edge of the cliff. He took a deep breath and began bending at the knees, getting into a stance that would propel him into the water and away from the jagged rocks below. He steadied his breath and deepened his bend. As he pulled his arms back to help power his leap, he began to wobble. He gasped sharply and took three large steps backwards, away from the cliffs edge. He put his hands on his knees and attempted to catch his breath and slow his heart rate. His palms where sweaty and the drops of sweat that dotted his forehead moments ago had turned in to mini faucets, running down the sides of his face.
"Aww babe" Mercedes sighed, Sam crawled towards the edge of the cliff and peered down towards her. She was frowning up at him, Sam expected her to be frustrated with him, maybe even ashamed. What was he doing? It wasn't that far up, maybe 15 ft. She has already been down there for 10 minutes, He could do this. He had to do this. He moved his gaze from Mercedes to the jagged rocks at the base of the cliff and swallowed hard.
"Babe, I don't think I can do this" He said defeated.
"Mercedes released a sigh and fell backwards into the water, floating on her back as she had been earlier. She didn't look at him as she spoke. "So you lied to me then." She said sadly.
"Lied to you? When? How?" Sam asked curiously.
"Three months ago. You lied to me." She spoke as she waded slowly through the water, closing her eyes and breathing slow and steady.
She looked beautiful Sam thought to himself. Her skin was glistening, the sun was reflecting off the droplets of water that decorated her stomach and chest, making her look as if she were dusted with tiny diamonds. Her bra and underwear, both purple lace and barely there, were drenched to the bone, clinging tightly to her skin, molding themselves around the curves of her breasts and hips. Sam could feel himself swell and grow heavy down below. His arousal causing his body temperature to rise, which amplified the sweat that was now covering every inch of his skin. The sensuousness of the moment was gone when Sam noticed a small tear escape the side of Mercedes eye, it rolled down the side of her face and disappeared into the lake around her. Sam Stiffened and called out to her.
"Mercedes, whats wrong baby?" Sam asked worriedly. Mercedes took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Still not looking at him, she spoke again.
"Why did you lie?" She said, her voice was shaky, but clear. Sam was more confused then ever, not only did he not understand what he had lied about, but he had never in all their time together, seen Mercedes like this. Never has she been on the verge of tears. She wasn't a crier. She was mysterious and eccentric and confident and strong. She was the anchor that steadied Sam's crazy, now the roles where reversed and Sam couldn't understand why.
"Cedes you need to tell me whats wrong baby. When did I lie to you? I can't fix this if I don't know what I did."
Mercedes took another breath. "I need you to jump Sam. I need you to jump so I know that this was the right choice."
"Sam stared hard at her, waiting for any of this to make sense. "To know that what is the right choice? I'm not following you babe." Sam said softly, trying not to upset her, but desperately needing answers.
Mercedes stared directly at him this time, her dark eyes where welled with tears, but none of them fell. "Three months ago, you told me that diving head first into fear was worth it if there was something good at the bottom of the pit. Do you remember saying that?"
Sam could hear the tears in her voice, she looked down at her hands as she made small circles in the water. Sam's heart sank at the sight, but warm nostalgia swept over him as he absorbed her words. He knew exactly what she was talking about. He remembered it as if it had just happened...