Warning: This one-shot contains high levels of sarcasm and ridicules many characters, hope you're not offended in any way. I do like almost all of the characters listed, I was biased in the Mayuri one because I do not like him. Thats all, hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: What's a good fanfic without a disclaimer! Of course I do not own Bleach, yata yata yata, blah blah blah.
1. Ichigo: Rukia should just "accidentally" stab him one time after he ridicules her artwork.
2. Isshin: Will be off on a camping trip having a wonderful time. He will then spot a bird off in the distance and run after it. While running after the bird like a complete idiot, he will accidentally fall off a cliff due to a lack of paying attention.
3. Urahara: One day in battle, he's going to freaking trip over his own shoes and end up impaling himself with Benehime.
4. Yamamoto: He's old. He's simply gonna get cancer and die. Or he might be involved in some freak accident caused by that ridiculously long beard of his.
5. Shunsui: This one is the simplest yet, liver failure due to excessive drinking during lifetime.
6. Ukitake: TB finally takes him, the poor soul.
7. Hitsugaya: Matsumoto tries to hug him, but ends up suffocating him with her humongous breasts that are bigger than her head.
8. Matsumoto: Similar to Shunsui but not the same, she would die of alcohol poisoning.
9. Mayuri: Simply lose the will to live because no one likes him.
10. Kenpachi and Yachiru: Yachiru is going to get them lost and they're never going to find their way back.
11. Hanataro: Fall down stairs due to being an uncoordinated klutz.
12. Yumichika: Falls in a puddle of mud and dies from a panic attack brought on by slight exposure to filth.