Chapter 1.
The rain was drizzling outside the the small window of the tower. Jon's eyes followed the movements of the grey clouds, which like concrete blocked the sky from giving sign of any rays of sun whatsoever.
He let his gaze wonder about, looking out on the landscape that was all silent and absent of movement or life. The cold of the north had only increased the last couple of months. Not enough for anyone to be able to say that a change was occurring for sure, but enough for the Starks to mutter their mantra while hiding from the cold in their big cloaks.
"Winter is coming".
On the courtyard beneath the tower two men were making their way to one of the bigger entrances to the main building. Jon followed them with his eyes, identifying them as his brother Robb Stark and his friend Theon Greyjoy. As they hurried to get away from the increasingly heavy rain Jon looked up once again towards that concrete sky, not helping to feel a little bit cold and alone in the old run down tower.
It was warm inside, and Robb went to place himself between Theon and his younger brother Bran with a large bowl of meat stew in front of him. People were quite talkative and there was a joyful murmur in the hall as the lords where warming up from the cold. Theon was occupied with letting everyone who wished to hear know about this girl he had met in a nearby village and how they had gotten it on together in the barn. The few who cared enough to pretend to listen would just nod their heads confirming that they heard what he was saying, even thou none of them believed a word he said.
At the sound of the door opening at the other end of the hall, Robb looked up to find Jon walking in and moving towards the table. With a gesture of the hand he pointed at the opposite side of the table and Jon sat down, bringing a bowl for himself with him. Instantly, theon and Jon would start bickering with each other about this and that, nothing to serious, but enough for all of them to wail their eyes and make a face saying: "Here we go again".
Watching the two going back and forth with whatever they were talking about (Robb stopped listening to the two of them a long time ago) he noticed that something was off with his half-sibling. It was like a veil of... melancholy? He couldn't find the proper word to describe it, and melancholy was probably not it since Jon always had been a little dark and broody. But he was dead sure that something wasn't quite right, so after the dinner was over he would tell Theon to walk ahead while he went in the opposite direction to follow his half brother through the empty corridors. It was very dark outside and if it wasn't for the flickering lights of the hallway lanterns the corridor would be almost to dark for anyone to navigate in.
It was dead quiet, and Robb started to wonder if he should make a sound to let Jon know that he was there and walked after him. But what would he say then? "I'm just walking after you, cause I thought you looked so gloomy"? Robb shook his head at the thought. The general stereotype of men having problem expressing emotions and concerns did not make him an exception. Even though most people saw him as a stable and down to earth personality he really didn't like social awkwardness and found himself feeling misplaced and lost every time he happened to be in such a situation.
As Jon turned around the corner, Robb realized that he might be going to his bedroom. Which, of course, is a legit thing to do after having dinner. Problem was that this was not like Jon at all, since he usually would want to hang out with the rest of them. He would usually not say much, but he would always be there. Robb tried to move as quietly as possible, not to make a sound to loud so he would be caught stalking his half brother, an action he really had now idea how he would explain and justify even to himself.
As he walked in, Jon left the door a little bit open, but just enough for the light to spread itself out on the floor as Jon lit a wax candle in a lantern standing by his bedside table.
Robb carefully moved closer to the small crack between the door and the wall, positioning his eyes so he could get a look at the room on the other side without being seen to easily.
Jon was sitting on his bed, just staring at the wall and moving his lips like he was saying something to himself. He continued to mumble as he walked over to a worn out dresser and fished out a undergarment shirt. With his back turned to Robb who was trying his hardest not to breath to loud he started to slowly remove his clothes, on piece of clothing at the time. As the outergarnments was removed, Robb could se his brothers toned body move underneath the undershirt. Jon's hands moved along his shoulders, like they were trying to ease up tensions in his muscles. After dropping the clothes on the dresser he sat down on the bed with his head bent down, looking almost like the illustration of tiredness as he closed his eyes and breathed out heavily.
The glow from the lantern flickered and made a golden glow play along the surface of his otherwise fair complexion. The ivory skin looked like it was glowing in the soft light of the candle, and his unruly curls had a shining shade of cinnamon in it. The face, the messy hair and his tired face was all bathing in the glowing light, making Jon look almost angelic.
Outside the room Robb started to look around nervously. What if someone saw him? It was hard for him to justify stalking his brother, but it was an entirely different thing to justify peeking on him while he was getting undressed. But for some reason, he just couldn't seem to stop. The shades of copper and cinnamon over Jon was so delicate and warm, it caught his eyes and fixated his attention. It called for his gaze, and he reluctantly obeyed to what he otherwise would considered a very strange behavior.
Jon stroked his hair out of his face, grabbed the hem of his undershirt and slowly started to pull it over his head, revealing a toned back where the muscles moved around under his golden glowing skin as he moved his arms. As he moved his arms up to stretch them out properly, the muscles on his back flexed into full strength and Robb's eyes tried to take it all in.
Once again he asked himself: What am I doing here? This is my brother for crying out loud!
Trying to pull himself together, he closed his eyes for a brief second, breathing deeply to calm his nerves. When he opened his eyes Jon was standing up, fidgeting with the buttons of his pants.
Robb's hands was almost shaking from the reaction of something so forbidden and beautiful. His brothers glowing skin and fit body sent shockwaves through his body to places he would be ashamed to acknowledge in a situation like this.
When Jon's pants dropped to the ground, revealing a pair of ivory cheeks contrasting from the copper colored gloom in the room, Robb shifted position nervously. He could feel the rush of blood to his groin, and how his body was reacting to the pleasure of seeing Jon's naked body revealed in all it's perfection. Even though his body instantly said yes and wanted to see more, Robb felt a strong voice in his head telling him it was wrong. What kind of a sick bastard gets turned on watching his own BROTHER undress?
Robb swallowed hard and looked at Jon as he bent over to fiddle with one of the drawers at the bottom of the dresser. He had to master all of his self control not to let his hand wander down to the regions of his body that was aching for him to satisfy.
Suddenly there was a noise further down the hall. The surprise made Robb's heart jolt and when Jon, who apparently also heard the noise, started to look in direction of the door Robb took to his feet and quickly got out of the corridor.
As quietly as possible he hurried outside and shut the door behind him. It was still raining, and in the darkness you wouldn't be able to see the raindrops if it wasn't for the light coming out of the windows of the house, transforming them into tiny drops of golden liquid, falling to the ground and creating shimmering little ponds of glowing fluid. The cold air in contrast to the coloring of the rain by the golden glow from the house made quite a beautiful little scene.
But Robb who was preoccupied with trying to stabilize his breath couldn't see any of it. He sat down next to the wall and buried his face in his hands. What was wrong with him? He had never before experienced feeling like this.
Or had he?
When Jon started to talk about joining the nightwatch at The Wall hadn't he felt a sting of longing in his heart, watching his beloved brother talking about how much he wanted to leave?
All those times his mother Catelyn would react with disapprovement against Jon, when he would sit next to Robb not wanting to talk or do anything but just be there.
Robb ran his fingers through his damp hair and looked out into the darkness infront of him. The other buildings was barely visible from where he was sitting. All the surroundings seemed to have been swallowed by the same darkness. The times passed on, and he couldn't tell how long he just sat there staring into the night.
Robb closed his eyes and allowed his head to fall back against the cold stone wall behind him.
- What's wrong with me? He whispered out into the night.
A soft breeze went through the courtyard, blowing up some of the leaves lying on the ground. The night was silent, and no answer was given to him as he over and over again asked himself that same question.