A summer challenge from another site. I figured it'd also help me get into a warmer mood because it's cold where I am.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I'm just putting them into new plots for the amusement of myself and others.
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July 20th. Finally he had a day off. Seeing as it was nearly 108 degrees out, Jiraiya had so graciously given him the day off. 'No doubt going to ogle the girls at the beach,' Naruto thought.
He was currently lying inside his house with a fan that wasn't doing him much good except for circulating warm air. 'Heck with this. I may as well go get some Ramen.'
He finally approached Ichiriku and was surprised to see Jiraiya, a very sweaty and bruised looking Jiraiya, but him nonetheless.
"Hey, perfect timing kid," Jiraiya said. "You see, I was just minding my business down at the beach when a huge group of rabid, bikini wearing women lashed out at me. They brutally beat me, stole my precious bird watching binoculars (a/n Yeah, "bird watching" binoculars), and took my wallet. I was crawling back home when I came upon this humble ramen stand. So anyways, do you think I could borrow 10 bucks?" Naruto retorted, "Yeah, I bet you were minding your own business. Or was it just 'research' as you call it? Either way, I want ramen and I'm not about to let you have any of my precious ramen money."
Meanwhile, Itachi was aimlessly wandering down the streets of Konoha. Now, you're probably wondering why he was just walking straight down the street where anyone could see him. The answer is: he was drunk. Well, Kisame hadn't meant to get him drunk; in fact, he had only had two glasses. But he had overestimated Itachi's alcohol tolerance and while he had thought Itachi was passed out, he had somehow managed to wander outside. Thus bringing us to our current scene.
He was still walking, God only knows how, when a pair of local academy students came up and tried to pick a fight with him. Still thinking himself to be superior, Itachi agreed. But of course, the kids were fast, and how could he concentrate on six of them at once? (a/n remember, technically it was only a pair)
After Itachi swung a couple of easily dodged punches, (he hadn't been able to access any chakra for ninjutsu so he had settled for drunken brawling) the kids had tripped him and he was down for the count. (When did this turn into wrestling?)
Awakening on the ground, Itachi was a little more sober than he was before he had left the confines of the hotel. And being the person he was, he had dodged a hangover. (I know, but I've made enough fun of him already.) He was now strolling down main street wondering when it was the boys in Konoha had gotten so much stronger. I mean, they must have if they were able to slip under his radar and attack him so easily. (a/n Arrogant sonuva…)
He was brought out of his reverie when he noticed a bright orange jumpsuit sitting at a ramen stand. 'This could be some fun' he thought. So he proceeded to approach the teen with a challenge.
"Hey nutt boy, wanna fight?" Yes, Itachi was a very articulate and poetic speaker. Blame years of being around Kisame.
Now, Naruto did not like to be interrupted while he was eating his ramen. Every time this happened, it usually ended up with bloodshed and a repair bill. Obviously, Itachi had forgotten this. But seeing as it was so hot, he simply glared at Itachi before simply punching him. In the nose. Hard. Drawing blood.
Itachi howled in pain and clutched his face. "How-how could you?" he screeched. "You've marred my beautiful face! I'm going home to mommy." "You don't have one dumbass," Naruto informed him. Itachi had forgotten this point and burst out crying. The sobs died, but he curled into the fetal position in the corner.
Naruto had just gone back to eating his ramen when who should come by but Sakura and Kakashi. (a/n no, I don't mean as a couple. Ewww.) She had devised yet another plot to see what was under his mask. (Well, technically she already tried this, but I'm not thinking up a whole new idea.) "Come on, just one bowl? I'll buy," she pleaded. He finally gave in and sat down, ignoring the sobbing Itachi in the corner and Jiraiya asking him for cash. He ordered a regular bowl and after receiving it, this would be when all hell breaks loose.
Itachi had thrown one of his kunai directly into the wall above Naruto's head. Now really pissed off, Naruto jumped up hitting Kakashi's bowl and sending it flying. Using it as a distraction, Sakura reached over to pull off Kakashi's mask. To her dismay, there was another one behind it.
Kisame had woken up to find Itachi gone and instantly ran out to find him. In his mind he expected such things as fire and carnage from a drunk Itachi. Of course, that was far from the case. Approaching the ramen stand, he saw a bleeding Itachi sobbing in the corner. Dashing straight to him, he attempted to calm him and get him to go back to the motel. "NO!" Itachi all but sobbed. Now, Kisame resorted to force.
Sasuke had just gotten back from some solitary training when he had the urge to get some ramen. 'Damn, I've been hanging out with Naruto too much,' he thought. But as the stand came into view, he was met with a chaotic scene: Kisame was attempting to pull the still bleeding and sobbing Itachi off the ground, Sakura was attempting to rip off Kakashi's second mask, and Naruto had his fingers in his ears as Jiraiya was begging him for money. 'Know what?' he though, 'I suddenly have the urge for some cereal.'
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What did you think? Was it funny? Please review and tell me. Flames are fine, but they will probably be ignored.