and through the mist, i see
macy/nick
harper/justin
wizards of waverly place/ jonas
the ghost in the fog. major JONAS au.
odd numbers. a lack of color. death cab for cutie. Alternative World.
even numbers. crooked teeth. death cab for cutie. 'Normal' World
A/N: This is a story based on my own AU WOWP fic the ghost in the fog. A H/J find Juliet fic. But it's not one hundred percent important to read it to understand. I plan to make this a stand aloneish chaptered fic. All that's really important to know is that in this Alt world, Harper had a brother that died named Peter and that she and Justin looked for and found Juliet together. And that they ended up forming a Monster Protection and Recovery Agency, after their 'monster' friends are kidnapped and used for a meglomanic powerplay.
i. this is fact not fiction
Macy remembers a different world when she sleeps, a bright thing with so much movement that when she wakes she can still feel the brush of air on her skin.
It isn't the one she's living now. With a thin lipped partner who's somehow become her best friend. (she isn't blond or thin, she never wears anything dyed to match her eyes.)
This world is shadowed and dark and she's living but she isn't sure she's alive.
So when she dreams she keeps grinning and laughing and sometimes she'll catch a glimpse of herself in those opaque mirrors covered in the dust of sleep, and she looks happy. Like she belongs.
Always there's a boy, quirked mouth and understanding eyes. His hair is curled and him and she loves him without trying.
But she always wakes and it's cold and she's not unhappy, but the mirror that greets her morning eyes let her know that the world she succumbs to after searching and fighting and endless, countless, monstrous hours isn't a world that's real.
And it doesn't matter what might have been. It isn't what's now.
Here.
This Macy that exists, she knows, is a fighter and a breather and her world is covered in thin white coverings of knowing what really goes bump in the night.
That Macy could never take on a Wizards council, could never be bloodied by a civil war, wizard family against wizard family, vampire against fairy. World of knowing against world of fear. That Macy may have bright lights and fluttering beating hearts, but this Macy, the real one, she's wiser and older and she's bleed for a cause and for a reason.
"Daniel needs to see you." Harper's voice is old.
It makes Macy shiver and the pit of her stomach widen.
"Is it about what the cyclops have decided?"
Harper's head shakes and Macy remembers suddenly what might have been in another world. Apples and fruit and running for miles.
She remembers another friend and another Daniel, who'd been a teammate.
"Macy is something wrong?"
"Sometimes..." Macy's voice falls away from her, burning in the daylight.
"You see it to ?"
When she looks to Harper's eyes, she knows.
"Like I've separated myself. Like I know the world that might have come to me, in time, in death and in living again. But it isn't a real one, is it?"
Harper sinks to the cot beside her. "No." But Harper's thin lips tremble and when her face turns again, she can see the tears. "But I wish it were."
"How is it that you know these things, and I, having lived for just as long can not grasp them?"
Harper's fingers fall to her knee. "Once, a long time ago, I think, or I knew, or I found, the truth and I've caught glimpses of it since but it never stays with me long. I have the same dreams. I've been fighting these silly battles so long." Her red hair looks like snakes for the slightest of moments and Macy is afraid. There's something about turning to stone in Harper's eyes. "It's silly to think of though. Juliet and Mason and Max. They aren't..." Harper's voice lays at their feet.
"Juliet? The vampire? What of her?" Macy thinks of the long haired blond. Tries to recall her beyond her bared teeth and broken promise.
But she can't. All she sees is Juliet, protecting that boy. That wizard.
"It was a long time ago, in another world perhaps, it doesn't matter, it has changed or we have, that isn't our world. This is." The words come out like a hiss, and Macy can see the old ways then, snakes that tempt and turn and bring the fall of a world. Harper is the snake or maybe Macy is or maybe they both are, bring down the old world, stopping the ways that have kept them from living and being and knowing. And then as if the moment had never happened, Harper's eyes are ageless and calm again. And when she smiles Macy grasps the other girl's hand.
"And we must make the most of it we can." Macy whispers.
When they leave the tent, the day is breaking over the dead city.
And she hopes, somewhere, that, that other Macy, is happy.
ii. hung in the air
Macy has always had a fear of vampires.
She would never admit this to anyone. Van Dyke would never widen his eyes, just slightly, at the prospect of coming up against her in a match, if he knew that she still can't leave her window open at night, for fear that somehow an undead thing might sneak into her room and suck her dry.
She can't even make it through a movie about them without tears welling into her eyes and her mouth becoming dry.
So when she finds herself in New York three days till the end of summer vacation, with a wide unblinking sky and a strange feeling that something has started, it shouldn't surprise her that from a slinky shadow a hollowed face calls to her.
It does surprise her though, that when she opens her mouth to scream, there is only silence.
With his mouth sunk into her neck and her mouth gaping and soundless, she looks to the sky, a moonless city night and she thinks of Stella and her mother and she hopes they don't cry. She thinks of Frankie and the soccer game she won't be able to make. She thinks that if she could, she'd fight against him with all her mighty Misa spirit. But her arms are limp at her side and she can feel his fingers digging deeper into her waist and neck. She tries not to think of Nick and how she should have told him that Amy was wrong and how she's sorry and sort of embarrassed that she'd made Randell dress up like him. That he's her favorite Lucas, and not because he's Nick of JONAS, but because he hides under the bleachers to watch her games and he thinks she a genius at making plans. Because the world may assume that Nick of JONAS' serious lips never smile or grin or laugh but Nick Lucas is alive and real and he grins and he smiles and not just with her, but with his brothers and Stella and those he really knows. She feels the pool of tears at her eyes and she hopes they won't have to see her all mauled and broken.
And from behind them she can hear the rustle and the clang of someone coming.
She hopes it isn't her friends searching for her.
"Drop her, Sean."
"Well, if it isn't the little monster hunter and his little girl friday."
"You know the rules about feeding on the innocent."
"You know I don't follow the rules."
A different voice wanders in, breaking the thick air between the two men. "How do you ever expect the council to repeal the laws against your kind if you can't even follow the simplest rules."
"Simple?" His hands unlock from her and she falls to the wet pavement. "I am what I am, Harper. I'm a monster and a feeder and why shouldn't I be allowed to do what is my nature to do?"
"Because it's wrong."
Macy still can't move but the sound of the girl's voice feels like a memory.
"Wrong? And sending boy's to hunt us, to imprison us that's right?"
"Of course not, that's why we're trying to change it. But how can we convince them, if you're killing people?"
"Only a human."
Macy closes her eyes and the voices fade in and out and behind the darkness of her eyes, she sees suddenly a different world. A pale lonely redhead with old eyes, men who are not men or beast or living or dead. She can feel her legs moving and walking and when she glances around she can see a pool of water at her feet. And there in the reflection, she sees herself.
She isn't afraid.
iii. my brain knows better
"What is it?"
"Can you not see?" Macy eyes don't leave the water at her feet. She feels Harper come to stand beside her, her heavy scent swirling in the air.
"It is you." Harper leans closer. "Yet. It's not you."
"My dream."
"The other world."
Suddenly Macy is terribly afraid.
iv. braved treacherous streets
When she finally wakes up, those same old eyes are staring at her.
"Here, drink this."
The water tasted strange, neither fresh nor stagnant, it was if she could taste filter and the dirt. But she still drank it down eagerly.
"I know you." Macy whispered.
The other girls eyes widened and her head shook. "I don't think I've ever me-" Her voice died and her fingers came to Macy's face. "The dream."
"Dream?"
Again, her head shook. As if she were shaking away a fog. Macy shivered and chugged more water. "I'm Macy."
"Harper."
The name sounded familiar, as if Macy had always known it, as if it was the only thing in the world it could be. She shuddered against the thought, only hours ago, she'd been someone different. She'd never met this girl, or thought that people like that boy could be real. Hours ago she'd been simply Macy Misa, Horace Mantis High's greatest athlete and JONAS super fan.
She didn't think it was all that simple anymore.
"I don't know what you think happened-"
Macy fought of a grin. "I think a vampire attacked me."
"Oh."
"It's not her fault, Dad. What choice did we have, leave the girl there?"
"Justin, what if she doesn't believe Harper?"
"We still have magic."
Macy locked eyes with Harper.
Magic.
Magic.
magicmagicmagic. The word continued on and on in her mind. And Harper's face seemed older and younger and dying and she felt the beat of her heart behind her eyes and she could smell a change in the air.
"Macy." Harper's words feel heavy on her skin.
"Magic."
Harper's lips became thinned and white. And Macy can see the truth in her eyes.
"Yes. Magic and vampires and-"
"Everything." Macy says.
"Everything."
"Harper!" But Harper didn't turn from her. And between them were all the other Macys and Harpers. All the existing worlds seemed to burst between them. The world were Harper's brother lived and aged and the world where Macy's dad hadn't left. And other ones, ones far darker and murkier.
The boy behind Harper placed a hand on her shoulder. His face was pale and his eyes darkened. Magic, Macy thought, it's all magic.
"What have you done?" Macy looked then, and the older man's face was broken and afraid and Macy wanted to tell him that this was always how it was. This world. Just as they had made it.
"Mr. Russo..." Harper seemed to fall to away, the one from ages ago. And Macy felt her face flush and burn, it wasn't real. Those things she had seen in seconds. She'd only met Harper hours ago and she wasn't ageless and burning. She'd never fought wars and her father had left. He had. And she'd cried and her mother had crumpled and life had gone madly on. She wasn't even sure if Harper had a brother. Living or dead.
"What have you done?" Mr. Russo repeated and Macy looked down and tried to sink further into the chair.
"I'm...it's...she-" But Harper's mouth didn't seem to work and Macy felt as if it were all her fault.
"I told you Justin-"
"Don't. Please don't use magic on me." Macy stuttered. "It wasn't Harper's fault. I don't think. I knew. I think. I mean I didn't know. But I did. I felt it was true. Or maybe I didn't. But there...there she was. I was there. And we were old. Very old and there were other Macys and Harpers and I knew. I knew, and my dad didn't leave and Peter kept on living and there was war and dying and living and I knew her then. I don't though. I don't know her. I'm not them. But I know them." Her heart was beating so so so fast and she was going to die. And she felt her blood in her veins and in her fingers and she can't stop knowing and not knowing and she's suddenly so fucking afraid.
"You know Peter?" It's the boy that's talking now, and Macy can't stand to look at him to long.
"No." Her hair beats against her face and she wants to go back now, back to the alley and the monster and the damp hard cement because she understands that fear, monster and death, but not this. Not this. The other people that hang in the shadows and the almost. There's them, her and Harper and no Stella. No JONAS. No her as she is. There's so much death in those horrible shadows, and Macy isn't her. She isn't that dark eyed warrior. She can't be.
She can feel Harper's fingers on her knee, and she knows. Knows this feeling.
She is. She is that warrior and this fan and that ageless thing in the shadows.
When she looks up. Harper's eyes are wide and her cheeks are wet.
"How did you know?"
Macy lips are raw and she's so thirsty and tired and so so so afraid. "I don't know."
"Your dad. He did leave but he didn't then."
"What is going on?"
Harper's eyes turn to the other people. "Justin…I-" She shakes her head. "I know her. I think."
"From where?"
"From always. It's strange. But- when I look at her. I know her. I know the other things she is. The other people that are us. From sometime different."
"Harper what are you talking about?"
"A different world, Mr. Russo."
"I saw her. After that guy bit me. I saw her in a pool of water. She was me. And Daniel was there. But it wasn't him. He…he had only one eye."
Harper and Justin look long at one another and her stomach aches.
Against her hip she feels the jetting of her phone. Stella's picture stares form the backlight.
"Stella." It's a heavy breath and suddenly she can't stop the tears.
"Macy. God, we've been…where are you…" Stella's crying too, like she knows. That everything's different. That's Macy's gone and she's alive and she's dying too. "What happened. SHUT UP JOE! I'M TALKING TO HER."
"He attacked me, he tried to-" But her voice is wrong and she can't tell Stella about the vampires and the visions and the truth.
"WHO ATTACKED YOU! Where are you? I'm coming to get you." She can hear the rustle and the boys in the background. "Give me back my phone!"
"Macy. Macy, who attacked you?" It's Joe and she can hear Kevin's screech.
A dead thing she thinks, and she wants to tell him and them everything. Tell them about the shadows and the mark on her neck and the hunger in her veins. She wants to tell them about how afraid she is and how she thinks it's all going to get worse. She settles for saying, "I don't know."
"Macy. It's me." She holds her breath. And tries not to think of lies. "We'll get you."
"I'm-"
"Waverly Sub Station." It's the older man, the Mr. Russo who's staring at her. His eyes have softened, and she wishes she could crawl into someone's arms and be okay.
"I'm at Waverly Sub Station."
"We'll be there." He doesn't talk but his breath is still there. She can't think of a thing to say either. But between the wires and the distance she can still hear Stella saying his name and telling him to give her the phone back. But really she just wants to hear him. His breath. Anything to know she's not alone. That something is like it was.
"Macy." It's Justin and she feels suddenly lost.
"I won't tell them." Her finger is over the speaker. And Nick is still breathing.
"It's not just that. It's…he bit you."
Her fingers go to her neck and the phone falls to the floor. "I'm-"
Justin shakes his head. "You didn't drink from him."
"Then what am I?"
"I don't know yet."
v. i know it's too late
Macy tosses when she sleeps. That other Macy, so exuberant and alive is afraid and falling to fast. There's others to. Justin, silly boy wizard, and his sister and his family. When she wakes her hands fly to her neck.
Undead.
Almost.
"Harper."
"I know. I see it to."
"You and him."
Harper looks away from her. "I loved him once. Even in this world."
"How-"
"Because I have- always."
"Because you saw it in a different world." Her face hardens and she can't believe her Harper could ever love a wizard.
"I've been alive for a thousand lifetimes. You think that was the first time I met him. He's been so many names. And so have I. And every time. Every name, every face. I love him."
Through the dark, Macy can't see her, but she can feel her tears.
"Ha-"
"No. Please. Don't. Just…"
"I've never had anyone. Except in that world."
"Mac-"
"I've lived as many lifetimes as you. And I wander through them. But I lurk and I move and I never love like that. Except. I- Sometimes, there's the shadow of someone. A person I've been waiting for. And I-"
"What is there to do?"
"I will find away for that other one to live."
"Go to another world?"
There's the war here and battles to fight and centuries to live.
But that Macy. That one, has only that time, those moments. And she could live always, knowing that somewhere, some place, a version of her is happy.