AN: This came out of pretty much nowhere, after reading too many RemusSirius, just because they're cute . I imagine this in their 6th year of Hogwarts.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
He shivered slightly and pulled his robe even tighter around him, the night air cold and crisp on his too-pale skin. A bony hand raked through his long brown hair, pushing it back out of his eyes, feeling the wind whip around his ankles.
"Fuck." He muttered under his breath, reaching inside his right pocket and taking out a half-empty packet of cigarettes, hands trembling as he flicked the lighter open.
He stared up at the sky above him, the stars only just visible behind the smoky grey clouds. He drew the stick to his lips and breathed in the poison like it was a lifeline.
Tears burned in his eyes and he swallowed hard to hold them back. (Great, you're crying now you big girl.) He clenched his left hand into a fist, digging his baby pink nails into his palm, leaving behind crimson half moon marks.
He exhaled, blowing the cloud of intoxicating smoke towards the stars, closing his eyes as the wave of calm washes over him, his mind slowing down and everything else fell away.
He just wanted to go back, before any of this happened and before everything got complicated and messy. Things weren't meant to be like this. They were supposed to make sense, be clear. But ever since it happened, it was like everything was shrouded in fog and he couldn't see more than an inch in front of his own eyes.
He threw the cigarette to the floor and stamped it out with his booted foot, watching as the last orange ember died out. He took a small step forward and leant against the small wall in front of him, all that was protecting him from plummeting down 7 floors to the ground below him. He gripped the wall tighter, his knuckles turning white.
"Room for another?" A gravelly male voice sounded from behind him and the hairs on the back of his stood on end. Goosebumps erupted on his arms, and he hoped to god that it was from the cold.
"Be my guest." Gods, was that his voice? When had he become that needy and breathless?
A body stepped in next to him and his eyes ached to look, but he couldn't trust himself to do that. He rubbed and his eyes and reached for another cigarette.
"Want one?" He held the box in front of the other boys face, and lit his own, breathing in the calming smoke.
"Yeah, go on then." He lit another one, handed it to the other boy and shoved the box, now only holding two cigarettes, back into his pocket.
"Remus?" God, the way he said his name… he suppressed and shiver and swallowed again, keeping himself in check.
"Yeah?" There it was again, the broken needy voice. (When did you become such a sodding girl?)
"About, you know…" He stopped to take a long drag of his cigarette, "That thing…"
He would've laughed if it weren't so serious, if his insides weren't twisting a little more with each word that came from that boy's mouth, He would've laughed.
"We don't have to talk about it." Remus nodded and his heart fell just a little.
"Ok."
He pulled a slightly shaky (or was he imagining it) hand through his think black hair and looked at over at Remus, taking a hard and almost desperate pull on the stick hanging from his lips.
"It's okay." He told him, his eyes fixed firmly on the floor, still not trusting himself fully to look at his too-beautiful face.
"No but, fuck Remus… you, you always say that everything okay when it's obviously not! I mean we…" He stopped shouting and lets his words trail off into the silence that fell instantly around them again.
"Yeah."
And then there was nothing left to say, words that might've been spoken just left suspended uncomfortably in the dead air between them both.
"We should go back inside." The boy spoke up after a while, minutes? Hours? Neither knew.
Remus nodded and turned to the doorway back into the school building.
"Moony?" The voice that said his name had never sounded more un-Sirius like before. It sounded so uncharacteristically vulnerable and childlike, a far cry from cocky ladies man they all knew and loved. It stopped him dead in his tracks.
"Yeah, Padfoot?" His smiling as his mouth formed the familiar nickname.
"I… I don't know what I'm doing here. I mean, this is different than anything I've ever done… it's kind of… scary. It's like, you're you and it's… oh, bugger it."
And then Sirius did the maybe the best thing of his life; he took one step forward and brushed his lips against the other boy, who was trembling ever so slightly. It only lasted for a second, and then he pulled away, looking at the ground.
"So… yeah." He almost whispered it but Remus heard him, and in a move almost too bold for the shy, reserved boy, he reached out and held his hand gently.
And now words didn't need to be spoken, everything that might've been said was understood, because sometimes, words left unspoken are the most understandable.
"We should really go." And Sirius nodded again, his grip on his hand growing tighter.
He pressed another ghost of a kiss to Remus' pale lips and released his hand, ignoring the dull ache in his chest as his did so, turning to face the building together.
"We'll talk again later." He promised, regaining himself and together they walked back into reality.
AN: Erm, I'm don't know how good this is but, please reveiw coz if I get enough this my turn into a multi chapter fic. :)