MIRANDA SINGS

"WHERE IS MY LISTICK UNCLE JIM?!" Miranda screamed from her room.

"UH ITS RIGHT HERE..." Uncle Jim yelled as he wiped it off of his mouth. Miranda walked down the hallway to grab it when she noticed it smeared on his face.

"Are you wearing my listick? Uncle Jim that's MINE!" Miranda yelled as she stomped down the hallway.

"Uh I booked you a gig at McDonalds tonight at six..." Uncle Jim said, still embarrassed from being seen with Miranda's lipstick on.

"I have a date with Patrick tonight so reschedule it."

"Well Miranda, it was really hard to do."

"UNCLE JIM IT'S MCDONALDS! RESCHEDULE IT NOW!" Miranda screamed.

"Okay fine Miranda."

"I DON'T LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE!"

"Sorry Miranda but I don't like yours either."

"DON"T TALK BACK TO ME!" Miranda screamed as she karate kicked Uncle Jim through the window. Then she applied her lipstick and changed into her haters back off sweatpants. "I'm ready for my date!" she thought to herself. An hour later Patrick showed up with the ice cream bike filled with froze toes.

"Hi Miranda!" Patrick said.

"Hey Patrick."

"Hi Patrick." Uncle Jim said as he laid on the broken glass.

"SHUT UP UNCLE JIM!" Miranda yelled.

"Let's go." Patrick said.

"Okay." Miranda said as she sat on the cooler of the bike. Patrick drove to the nearby gas station and led Miranda into the bathroom with the froze toes cooler. He shut the door and locked it so they had some privacy.

"It smells bad in here." Miranda said.

"Yeah..." Patrick said as he started shoving froze toes in his pants.

"What are you doing Patrick?" Miranda asked.

"My dick is hot so i'm cooling it down."

"PATRICK THAT IS PORN! YOUR SO DISGUSTING!"

"Sorry." Patrick said.

"It's okay i forgive you." Miranda said as she started shoving toilet paper in the toilet and flushing it violently. "I wanna break up Patrick. Your affecting my popularity and that's a problem."

"What? Miranda I have only improved your career!"

"Oh. Well I need to expand my options so bye Patrick." Miranda said as she walked out of the bathroom. The Indian who worked the cash register offered her a condom but she declined, "THAT'S PORN!". And she started to walk home.

"How did this even happen?" Patrick said as he sat on the side of the overflowing toilet with melted froze toes seeping out of the crevices. The cashier walked over and stared at the mess.

"Condom?" he said in a funny accent

"Uh no thanks." Patrick said.

Miranda finally walked down the street to find her house. "Hi Miranda. I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier. If you call a doctor I will give you what ever you want."

"Fuck off Uncle Jim. I'm a bad ass now."