Part 1 - In Those Far Away Days

In those far, far away days

That warmth was the only thing I can feel,

So that when getting lost in the darkness at the end of the road,

All I could do is cry in loneliness.

Reprise l. 1-4

Chapter 1 - Dragon Prince

Prince Nigihayami Kohakunushi, the youngest son of the Dragon King, stood on the plains of the Spirit World. As always when he was at this place, he was aware of the river to the south that marked the edge into the Human World. To the east, Yubaba's bathhouse, Aburaya, and the surrounding town, was a barely visible bright smudge on the dark horizon. Wind rippled through the sea of grass all around him and the moonlight reflected off his long, black hair. By any measure, it was a beautiful night, ruined only by the reason he was here.

He looked over to where his brother, Prince Fujisan and heir apparent, was listening to a heated marital spat. They had already been here the better part of the evening, trying to resolve a disagreement between the two spirits regarding an adolescent child. Whether the child was theirs was currently under debate. Haku had seen these two before at court, and judging by what he knew of them, they could easily be stuck here for the rest of the night. A less stubborn couple would have just resolved the fight between themselves, rather than applying to the King. Still, it would not take all night, Haku knew. Fujisan would not want to be late for the King's audience.

"You have no right to him!" the woman yelled.

"And you think you fertilized that spawn all by yourself, do you?" the man retorted.

"How dare you?" the woman screamed, and lunged at him, forcing Fujisan to step in and keep the two apart and attempt to soothe them.

Haku looked down at the boy standing next to him, the one they were arguing over, and raised an eyebrow.

The boy sighed. "Neither of them were around for my growing up. And now that I've got a shrine to my name they barge into my life and try to tell me what to do. It's not worth the fuss, really."

"Maybe you should try to tell them that," Haku suggested quietly.

"Nah, I'll just run away when they're not looking," the boy said frankly. "They'll get tired of me soon enough. You're so lucky. Your father actually listens to you. You're a prince though, so I s'pose he's got to."

"Taka! C'mon over, dear," the woman called.

"Looks like something's been decided," the boy named Taka said. "Come with me?"

"It won't do any good," Haku said.

Taka shrugged. "Come anyway."

"Taka dear," the woman said when they approached. "His Highness Prince Fujisan says that we're both to take care of you. Would you like that?"

"I can take care of myself," Taka replied. "I don't need either of you."

The man's face turned red. "Now see here, boy. Most spirits aren't lucky enough to grow up with a family…"

The boy looked over at Haku and rolled his eyes in exasperation.

Above the man's head, Prince Fujisan glared at his brother. He gripped Taka's shoulder. "Your father's right. You're fortunate to have parents who care about you."

"Right," Taka said sarcastically.

Prince Fujisan ignored his tone. He didn't have the time to bicker. "Now be a good boy and mind them."

"I'm no hatchling," Taka said. "Don't speak to me like one. But sure. I'll be good. Anything to get this over with. And there, see? You can be on your way now." He turned away from the pair of dragons and to his parents, smiling.

"What did you say to him?" Fujisan hissed.

"Nothing," Haku said.

"Don't encourage rebellion, brother of mine. Anyone would envy how our parents treated you and this is the thanks you give them?" Fujisan straightened as the woman walked toward them.

The woman bowed to both of them. "Thank you so much, Your Highness. And you as well Prince Kohakunushi," she said. "Please give my regards to your father the King."

They returned her bow with nods - the correct acknowledgement from their station to hers - and watched her walk away. With a final glare at his brother, Fujisan disappeared, leaving Haku to return to the palace on his own.

Around midnight, Haku leaned against the windowsill of his bedroom at the underwater palace, gazing into the gardens on the palace grounds. Palace guards, sworn to protect the royal family, and the customary Coronation Guards, hired by Fujisan or second son Prince Tateyama, swarmed around the main palace entrance. Their shiny exoskeletons shimmered under the light of the bioluminescent jellyfish and squid drifting by. He was daydreaming, as he often did while Fujisan guarded the audience chamber where the King sat alone. In his mind, he flew through the air with eleven-year old Chihiro on his back. In his reminiscing mind, fluffy clouds floated past leisurely below, and she was whispering into his ear. Then they were falling, her small human hand warm in his, her hair billowing in the wind, her eyes shining as she smiled at him and pressed her face to his.

Haku looked up. Someone was walking through the arch and up the garden path. The guards approached him in groups, and were fended off by the figure's eminence. They let him pass undisturbed. Haku peered more closely through the window, and recognized the bent posture and hobbling walk at once. His white hair and clothes almost glowed under the jellies' light. It was old Tenryu, no doubt wanting to speak with the King once again about the war. That won't be happening today, Haku thought. There will be no audience until the heir is officially announced, and he knows it. So why is he here?

He hurried through the little used servants' passages to the throne room's antechamber where Fujisan presided alone - the light scattered across the room as the walls melted away and reformed to let him pass - and settled in a back corner where he would blend into the rippling shadows sprawled over the walls.

Tenryu slowly made his way up the path to the Dragon King's palace, which, from a great distance, rose from the sea floor like a string of translucent pearls. The first King had formed it from the water as a gift to his bride, Amaterasu, in the beginning of the world. Before the worlds split, spirits and humans alike traveled from far and wide to see the mythical palace and the dragons who dwelled there. Today, however, Tenryu had no eyes for the glimmering schools of fish that filled the reefs or the forests of kelp in the palace gardens, or for the shining spheres of solid water that made up the rooms of the palace. He had seen the white figure peering down from a window high above the sea floor, and had recognized it.

Tenryu watched the figure back away from the window and smiled to himself. Tenryu knew how hard the young prince had been trying to avoid him. So Kohaku is intrigued in spite of himself, is he? It was about time. Tenryu remembered the human girl at the bathhouse who had pulled the pollution from his banks. Sen, she was called. He had recognized at once what an invaluable jewel she was: a human child untainted by greed. She was the one they needed, he was sure. When he had gone back to the bathhouse to look for her, however, she had gone, and no one knew where. He heard rumors that Prince Kohaku had loved the girl. If anyone could find her, it would be him.

It wasn't long before Tenryu came up the steps and to the entrance hall. The heirs' mercenaries had been charged to keep applicants away, but had no leverage against someone of his rank. They could only bow and uncross their tridents as he entered the hall. The Prince himself stood there on the dais, blocking the open door to the throne room, and thereby access to the King. He had sharp black eyes and a short black beard. His long hair was tied back loosely, and hung until it blended into the shadows of his red, floor-length kimono. He was ten thousand years old. Still young, Tenryu thought.

"My prince," Tenryu greeted the man, bowing respectfully.

Prince Fujisan only acknowledged this deference with an insultingly small nod. "You're here to see my father," he said coldly.

It wasn't a question – another insult – but Tenryu gave no indication of taking offense. "Yes," he agreed mildly.

"As you can see, he's busy. Too busy to attend to any business of yours, Tenryu. Especially if it concerns your obsession with the humans."

"My prince, would we walk away from all that we have loved and protected for eons?" Tenryu asked earnestly. "Walk away from our homes and from our very souls?"

"The only purpose in staying would be to repulse the monsters," Fujisan said lightly, as though discussing the weather. "They parasitize those very homes and souls of which you speak and they spread like the plague."

"The humans aren't evil, my prince," Tenryu said, shaking his head. "They are only ignorant and gravely mistaken." The prince's attitude saddened him. He remembered when Prince Fujisan used to play happily with human children.

"Are you blind and deaf, Tenryu?" Fujisan spat, "or have you been cowering in your den these past centuries? Have you not tasted the poisoned air and water? Did you not feel the earth shaking only yesterday in protest to the abomination the monsters have unleashed? In many places I can no longer feel starlight on my scales. It breaks me more than the spilling of blood on my slopes. Look what they did to Kawauso*, who loved them. They killed him. They think they can use a word like "extinct" and pretend it wasn't murder.

"They have taken everything from me, and they'll have no more. They are evil, greedy, ungrateful beasts." He calmed himself down with a visible effort. Then, steadily, he said, "You are a fool, Tenryu, and my father will not hear you."

Tenryu had been aware of Kohaku's presence since he had entered the room. Now, he acknowledged it, looking into the corner where the younger prince had stood silently this whole time. Tenryu spoke as if half to Fujisan and half to the silent Kohaku: "There is a girl, a human, who would prove you wrong about the humans. She is the pure, innocent child every one of us holds dear in our hearts. Even you, my prince, would not be able to deny it."

Fujisan followed Tenryu's gaze and glared at the young man in the shadows, ignoring this last comment. "You think Kohaku can get you an audience with the king? He's a disgrace. They killed him. They stole his power, and you think he'll side with you? You think he has the strength? Look at him, Tenryu. They have almost made my brother one of them, a pathetic human. You should pity him, and look to the ones with power. And they say you are wise. You should go now. I wish you luck, chasing fairy tales as you do."

Kohaku barely heard Fujisan's contemptuous words. The sentiment had not been a new one. It was what Tenryu had said about the girl, the girl could only mean Chihiro, that had drained the blood from his face.

A banquet was held every night after the King's audience. It was a chance, especially at this end of the millennia, to see the King, since competing heirs couldn't filter through every person who approached. The crowd drifting about the King in the spherical banquet hall was so thick that the King was barely visible to the rest of the room. It was also a chance for those in need to fill their stomachs, since everyone was welcome, and food was aplenty.

Tonight's was nothing special. The globular hall, which floated disconnected to the rest of the palace, had been shrunk to suit the smaller size of the party. Servers moved about the room with trays of food and drink. The only unusual occurrence was that all three princes were present. Fujisan, the eldest, and Tateyama, the second son, ignored their brother, which meant the crowd generally ignored him as well.

This suited Prince Kohaku just fine. It left him free to keep an eye on Tenryu, chattering away with some of the older spirits on the other side of the room. Still, there were always certain people…

Kohaku took a drink from a passing server as a woman approached him.

"Your Highness," the woman said, bowing.

Haku put on his best courtier face and turned to her. "How may I serve you, Lady Ame?"

"My son, Your Highness. He's of an age to be at court. Past the age, in fact. If your father has an opening… Even learning to serve would be an improvement to what he's been doing, running about wild and uncivilized."

Haku smiled. "I will do what I can, my lady."

"Thank you so much, Your Highness. Please don't go to any trouble," Lady Ame said. "I just wish you'd keep him in mind if your father ever mentions the need…"

"What is your son's name?" Haku asked.

"Yes, Your Highness, it's Shik-"

Over Lady Ame's head, Haku saw Tenryu slipping away from the crowd and toward the door. Haku bowed, cutting her off. "My apologies, my lady. I have been summoned. I shall keep your son in mind." He bowed again, and floated toward where he had seen Tenryu last. He was gone. Through the wall of the palace he saw the distorted image of the older dragon walking down the path. He looked around - no one was paying him any attention - and then pressed his palm against the crystalline wall. As a member of the royal family, he had the power to shape the solid water of the palace as he wished, but in the company of those who couldn't, it was still rude. The wall parted like jelly to let him through, and then solidified again behind him. He was out.

Haku shifted into his dragon body and swam toward the ocean floor, staying among the kelp and out of sight. The currents from the guards passing above him rippled along his hide. He wondered why Tenryu would choose to walk when swimming would be much faster. Is he waiting for me? Waiting or not, some things need to be said. He caught up with the old spirit and changed back behind a passing school of fish. There were perks to the dragon form, but talking was not one of them. He waited until Tenryu rounded a bend in the path that put some coral between him and the guards by the palace entrance, then emerged from behind a coral topiary along the path and into Tenryu's way.

"What did you intend by coming here today, Tenryu?" Haku asked, his eyes narrowed.

"My prince, I came to see your father, the King."

"You won't see the king, not with only a few months until he abdicates," Haku said. "You should've known Fujisan wouldn't permit it. You shouldn't have come."

"You could get me an audience," Tenryu said.

Haku laughed bitterly. "Maybe I would've tried, before today. But you did not come to me. And now, why would I, if the girl you mentioned to Fujisan is who I think it is?"

"So you agree with me, that she is the one we need."

"If we were in agreement, then you would not even consider dragging her into this mess."

"We need her, Your Highness, just as we need you."

"I've told you before. I can't be the king you want."

"Your father must abdicate this year. We're low on candidates and we're low on time. We're not picky, Prince Kohaku," Tenryu told him.

"Perhaps you could offer Fujisan that loyal support. He would appreciate it, I'm sure."

Tenryu ignored this. "I want you to help find the girl," he said.

"I will not."

"So you know where she is," Tenryu said.

"It does not matter. You will not involve her. Besides, she's eighteen now," Haku said. "She's not a child anymore; I doubt she's still as "pure and innocent" as the girl you imagine, and her life is not yours to appropriate. Find someone else. Leave her alone."

"You won't be able to ignore the war for much longer, my prince," Tenryu warned. "The bridges between the worlds are crumbling, if you haven't noticed, and then you'll never see her again."

"I can't cross the border anyway," Haku laughed. "She is cut off from me. I'll never see her again. Don't you get it? My brother is right. They killed me. I should be dead, understand? Dead, like Kawauso is dead!" Haku's voice rose until he was shouting. Then, looking straight at Tenryu, he said: "Stop searching for her. Leave her out of it."

Haku had a feeling he knew what role Tenryu wanted Chihiro to play in the war, and he didn't like it. He could think of nothing more dangerous than bringing her to Akuma's attention. Tenryu was right when he said she was special. They all knew it. But that didn't give him any right to involve her in their insane cause. She deserved to be safe. And happy.

Haku bowed deeply as he entered the king's private study, and then folded himself onto a mat before the low table. He watched the king sift green tea into two bowls and slowly whisk steaming water into the matcha.

The study was one of the only rooms within the palace that was dry. It was a bubble, suspended beneath the ocean's surface, and designed to allow the preparation of tea. The king always made the tea himself. It was a time of peace for him to spend with his youngest son, the last one left at home.

Haku sipped the bitter green foam slowly, aware of the king's eyes gazing at him above the clay rim of the bowl. The fragrance calmed him. He replaced his tea on the table before meeting his father's gaze and speaking: "What is your stance on the evacuation, honored father?"

"No one has asked me to intervene," the king replied impassively. "Thus, I have no stance."

"Is it true that the bridges between the worlds are close to collapse?"

"The connection has been weakening for some time," the king said.

"The loss would be terrible if the worlds break apart," Haku said angrily. "Don't they understand that if they all leave, there will be nothing holding the worlds together?"

"The choice to leave or to stay is one they must each make on their own."

"But you disagree."

"It does not matter whether I agree or disagree. The king's opinion counts for little if there is no one willing to plead his case. It counts for even less in the year of the coronation. It counts for nothing. Human rulers may make decisions on their behalf, but under our laws the king's role is to be the judge and the servant of the people. The king must not infringe on the pride and autonomy of our people. Such is the burden of the arbiter. In that way, I have less say than the weakest of my people." He looked intently at his son. "Kohaku, as long as I am king, you are one of my subjects as well as my son. Bring your evidence. Plead your case. I will hear you just as I hear any other dragon who wishes to be heard."

Any other dragon who makes it to the council room, Haku thought dryly, but keeping the thought to himself did not stop King Nihonkai from hearing and replying to it.

"Prince Nigihayami Kohakunushi," he said sternly. "At this moment you are in no place to even think disrespectful thoughts about Fujisan. Do not grovel and apologize for your thoughts. So you are dissatisfied with the way things are. What are you going to do about it?"

"What could I possibly do about it, Father? And after this year, I will have even less power than I do now, if that were even possible." Haku rose from his seated bow as ordered. He was still ashamed of his outburst in front of Tenryu, but he was too tired to keep the bitterness from his voice. "You can't mean for me to pursue the throne. I know you and Mother hoped I would, before, but that's foolishness now. What good is a crippled king to the people?"

The king looked at his son without pity. "King or not, you are not powerless as your brother seems to think. As the king is not free, neither are you free. You may not have a choice."

Haku ran his fingers along the fine web of scars on his side, willing the currents of the palace to wash away the cold sweat left by his recurring nightmare. In the dream, he had been trapped under a glass dome. He had thrown himself at it, over and over, until his scales cracked and he fell from the sky… and woke up.

After Chihiro had gone back to the Human World, Haku had quit his "apprenticeship" at the bathhouse. He had tried to find her then, to keep his promise to her, and had discovered the magical barrier that kept him from leaving the Spirit World. Other spirits could cross, and did, every evening by ferry or train or on foot. He could not. Perhaps when his body in the Human World had been destroyed - filled in with apartments - his connection with the human world had been as well.

He had no clear memories of that time, except in his dreams. They were dreams of terror, of grief, of desolation, and of that one warm, golden soul beyond the barrier, unreachable forever.

In his waking moments, only the scars on his back and sides proved that he had lived through those days.

Seven years had passed since Chihiro left the Spirit World. Seven years since he had promised Chihiro he'd see her again. Seven years since he had told Chihiro that he would be fine. Haku regretted those words every day. He had not been able to keep his promise, and he was far from fine. He now understood many things about the worlds and people who inhabited them. He understood that without his river, he was not a true dragon, not anymore, and that he would never, ever see Chihiro again.

Haku had almost fallen asleep again with these thoughts when a servant knocked on his door with a note for him. He lay in bed awake for a long time, staring at the words and trying to control the hope that was bubbling up in his chest - hope that he thought had died years ago. The note said:

I found her. - Zeniba.

*Kawauso is Japanese for "river otter." The Japanese River Otter was officially listed as extinct in September 2012, while I was working on the first draft of this story.