I apologize for my inactivity.

Made this quick fic with a friend. She's on AO3, ApolloGeek27, please check her out! While she isn't as much of a Pokémon writer, she has some incredibly fleshed out fanfics that can be enjoyed without knowing the fandom as much! She is an excellent writer, and is the one who had the idea for this cursed crack fic lol.

Some aspects of this fic are based quite loosely off of the Bachelor TV show, so we don't own that.

We don't own Pokémon either, of course~

We hope you enjoy, haha XD

Also, forgive me, as many of our italics and italicized content were unable to pull through due to coding problems. We hope you can enjoy the sarcasm of this fix nonetheless.

Thank you, Doki Doki Dokkaebi Club, for the heads up on the messed up coding! Love your name btw!

And for the others who gave us a friendly reminder about a couple things, thank you as well.

On with the show!

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In little Ketchum Town, there was a very sad looking Pikachu who was in front of a table overflowing with bills. Why did he have so many unpaid bills, you may ask? It's because he's in debt for buying a lifetime supply of ketchup. Yep, you heard right. He's in debt for buying a lifetime supply of ketchup.

And this young Pokemon, known as Ryan (Just Ryan not Ryan Reynolds, though you shouldn't be surprised if he knew a Ryan Reynolds), was now in a conundrum. For you see, what shall he now do without the basic necessities he needs, especially since he's now out of a job?

Ah, the stupidity of a Pikachu addicted to ketchup. It's almost as bad as the time the entire Pokemon community discovered ginger ale and got drunk off of it.

But let's not head into that territory . . .

Instead let us continue on with our young protagonist.

"Pika pika pika pika pika pika pika pika . . ." Ryan sighed. It was time to go out and face the world. Ryan got up and went out of his shabby looking apartment, passing by a couple (Squirtle and Butterfree, who knew they had a thing for each other) to go to the bar.

Ryan entered the bar and took his usual seat at the counter. The bartender, a Gallade, glared at him harshly before sliding a bottle of ketchup his way. Ryan nodded at the bartender then chugged it down like he was a drunk wasting his life away, which he technically was.

Another pokemon slid into the seat next to him. Ryan took a quick glance before he realized exactly who was beside him. A Mew sat next to him, its purple tail flickering back and forth. This was't any Mew, however. This Mew was his one, and only, Grandmother.

"Pika!" Ryan chocked on the ketchup, some of it dripping down his chin and onto his fur. "Mew mew." Grandmother flagged down the bartender and ordered Very Berry Alcoholic Surprise. She then smacked the back of his head with her tail.

"Mew, mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew. Mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew."

Grandmother then took a sip from her drink while Ryan just looked at his ketchup bottle in guilt. He didn't know that his Grandmother was in town. If he had known, he would have tried to look better than a homeless Shia LaBeouf.

"Mew mew mew mew mew mew?" Grandmother asked. Ryan shook his head in the negative. "Mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew." Ryan winced at that. He didn't want any of his family to know about his horrible situation. But it seemed that Grandmother had found out about it already.

"Mew mew mew mew mew mew mew, mew. Mew mew mew mew mew mew. Mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew. Mew mew mew mew mew mew. Mew mew mew mew mew mew mew, mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew." With that said, Grandmother left the bar.

The warning Ryan was given was stuck in his head. Since he got himself into this mess, he was going to be the one who got himself out of it.

Ryan groaned. He already knew that this was helpless. How was he ever going to have time to find $5,000,000 quickly enough to bay off his debt and his rent for the month?

He was about to slam his head into the table before a flashy flyer caught his eye.

'Want to catch a date? Need some money? Get both and more when you sign up for Who's That Bachelor?, a reality TV drama that'll give you everything you'd ever want!

The prize for winning? $10,000,000!'

Ryan blinked and stared dumbly at the flyer for a moment, not quite processing the information he just took in (partially because it was unbelievable and partly because of his stupidity). And then...

"PIKA?!" Ryan looked at the unassuming flyer in disbelief. He didn't know if it was because fate was on his side or if it was the only stroke of good luck he'd ever have in his life, but this could be the perfect opportunity.

Oh, all of the ketchup he could-!

He shook his head. Uh, all of the bills and expenses he could pay off.

...and all of the other stuff he could use that sweet, sweet cash for.

He gave the flyer a look one last time, and then he grabbed it with his sticky, ketchup-covered palm, not even paying any notice to the bartender who seemed quite annoyed at him as he tore the flyer away.

This was Ryan's opportunity. A wonderful opportunity to get some quick cash and maybe even a cute Pokémon.

Not like there was anything else he could really do.

Besides, what could possibly go wrong?

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You may have noticed that Ryan and Mew both did not have English lines. That is because we, as observers of these Pokémon lifeforms and their society, are not able to understand their language.

My co and I are included :D We are not miracle workers, lol.

Anyways, that aside… hope you found something entertaining, or only for a moment.

We both thank you for taking the time to read this!

Please leave a review to let us know what your thoughts on this are~ Although any major flames will be converted to ketchup to give to our fave Ryan~

Thank you all, and see you all later!