Chronicles of Absolution: Get Me to the Church

Chapter 1

Somewhere in Utah

The sun was beating down mercilessly giving the full truth that this was in fact the desert. Dean wiped the sweat from his face with the bandana that was tucked in his jeans. He had taken off his over shirt and tied it around his waist earlier but it was still hot. He could see the heat rising from the ground since it looked watery.

Glancing at his watch he could tell that he had been walking for at least an hour. His head pounded and he put a hand up to his head to rub the headache that was part of the nasty hangover he was getting. He stumbled forward while he rubbed his head and was trying not to be sick from the longing for eggs and greasy bacon.

He thought about it so much that he had to stop. He ended up dry heaving for a few minutes and was trying to stay on his feet while hunched over. It wasn't enough and he had to sit down and ended up falling on his butt like a drunk would. "Sonofabitch," he muttered, "I usually hold my liquor better than that."

He sat down and tried to breathe. The nausea was overwhelming and he had to dry heave again. This time it felt like he emptied his guts along with the nothing in stomach. He fell back when he was finished and relieved that he didn't fall into his own puke. He was content to let the sun make him shrivel up and die. He closed his eyes and muttered, "Just kill me now."

"You know that if you do that, you'll just drive Sam crazy and make her pissed."

Dean opened his eyes to find a hot chick looking down at him. At first he thought it was Lisa since she had dark hair but as his vision cleared, he realized who it was. He groaned, "Crap. I'm hitting on a vamp."

Akira Kuran couldn't help but laugh at Dean. She had always liked the Winchester boys and Dean was her favorite. His reaction to things was highly amusing and he was always a vast fount of information when his brother was too 'shy' to admit to anything. She brushed a wayward lock from her face and pulled the canteen she had from her bag. "Actually I'm half vamp… well maybe you're right."

Dean groaned at that. Of all the people he got stuck with, he had to be stuck with the one who had a wicked sense of humor that was worse than Angela's. "Please."

"Well seeing as Mother and Father both come from vampires even though Mother is human…"

"I get it. Please let me die in peace."

Akira hummed in a no nonsense tone and opened the canteen. She held it to Dean's lips and let him drink. "Small sips. Don't need you puking up your liver with your stomach."

Dean groaned but drank the water. It was welcome relief. He almost wanted to protest at her taking the canteen away but didn't. He did manage to sit up and found that he had collapsed near where some rocks cast some shade. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Akira replied as she sat back on her heels. Her clothes, casual attire of course were covered with dust. Her dark hair was twisted back in a loose braid and some locks were coming out. She looked like she had it rough too. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," Dean replied as he rubbed his head. His headache was still there and it was pounding. "Just getting over a headache. You wouldn't happen to have any painkillers now would ya?"

"Just the water and a knife and a few other odds and ends."

Dean hummed in acknowledgement and pushed himself up to look around. He knew he had been traveling about an hour under the hot sun after waking up with a really bad hangover. He wondered if it was a nightmare or something but it felt very real. The dry heaving was real definitely since he was familiar with that feeling.

Akira watched the elder Winchester switch into a mild form of survival mode since he was still off balance from his collapse. She was lucky that she found him otherwise the elements would have had their way with him and she didn't want to deal with Sam, who she could handle, and Angela, who she couldn't handle. She noted the look of confusion on his face and was well aware that she was feeling the same way.

"Any idea where we are?"

Akira looked at the hunter and shook her head, "Not really. I woke up somewhere in the shade of a cliff and in the middle of the desert. I started walking and came across you."

"Wait so you were…?" Dean tried to make sense of it all. "That means that Sam is…"

"Or they could be fine. You are always so uptight when it comes to what is going on," Akira gently interrupted.

"Fine my ass," Dean countered. "Nothing ever is fine and I just barely got the fuzz ball to lay still in the car."

"She is a little cutie and she seems to like you."

"Not helping."

Akira made a gesture of mock surrender. She knew that Dean was worried about his brother and had every right to be. She also could see that his random rambling was a means of expending the worry and pent up energy. Of course she couldn't help but retort back, "And it's not helping that you're hung over and puking your ass out."

Dean shot a glare at Akira. He wasn't in the mood but he was aware that his sarcasm and snippy comments weren't going to do much good in helping him find Sam and Angela. "Hey, I was happy doing what I was doing and looking forward to enjoying myself for once."

"You? I'm the one that's supposed to be happy and enjoying it after months of a tightrope balancing act. You just got invited to the end show," Akira snapped as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Dean realized he made her cry when he noticed at tear spill from her eye. Now he felt like an ass. He knew that it was supposed to be special for her. He was invited to see it. Well technically the invite had been sent to Angela and he Sam and Bobby tagged along plus hell on four legs and the fuzz ball that yipped. He apologized, "Hey, I'm sorry. I know it's a big day but we can still make it. We just have to call in a favor."

"With what?"

Dean fished in his pocket and pulled out what remained of his cell phone. He wanted to curse but then he remembered how it got broken in the first place. He made an apologetic face about it being broken and then asked in a sheepish voice that could compete with Sam's puppy dog eyes, "Do you have your cell phone."

Akira wiped her single tear away and looked through the bag she had woken up with. She found it and flipped it open. It was fully charged but it was saying the dreaded curse of being in the middle of nowhere. "No service. Any other ideas?"

The only thing Dean could think of was to give a shout, which he did to the heavens, "Cas, need a little help here."

Nothing happened and Dean growled in frustration, "Well there goes that plan."

Akira put things back in her bag. Sighing she stood up and looked around. It seemed that Dean had been heading west and maybe there might be a road that they could take. If they were lucky they might find a roadside gas station. Either that or walk until they got a signal. "Then I guess we walk."

Dean stood up now that he was feeling better. "Any idea where to go?"

"You were heading west so we can keep going in that direction. Hell we might run into the coast… eventually."

Dean tried to be understanding with the snippy tone. "Fine by me. I just want to know where the hell we are and how the hell we got here."

Akira looked at Dean with a scrutinizing glance as they started walking in a western direction, "How much do you remember of last night?"

Dean thought about it for a moment. He knew how his cell phone got busted; that he could remember because everyone else was laughing with him. There were some other scenes that flashed through his mind about last night and he recalled some moments that were embarrassing but it didn't seem that way to him. "Uh… little sketchy. What about you?"

"You don't want my version."

Dean sighed and thought about it, "Well the last thing I remember was getting topped off at the cantina; that stuff was better than whiskey or tequila. Sam was on his… whatever shot and he was stoned… well everyone was stoned except for maybe you Halflings. Wait someone did spike Angie's drink."

Akira knew that it was going to go on forever but let him sort it through. Some events were muggy herself. "Angie was cutting a rug with that cute little blonde. I remember because Sam was drooling like a lecher at Angie."

Dean couldn't help but smile at that. Even drunk Sam couldn't help but watch and got overprotective. He gave a dry chuckle as he lived with that memory especially when she taunted his brother with those moves. Then he remembered.

Akira had been mulling through her memories of last night. Some were pretty good, others were in the category of don't discuss again ever. Then it hit her. At the same time she and Dean looked at each other and they said, "Carla."

Last Night

The cantina was in full swing with the music. Even though it wasn't his beloved rock n' roll, Dean got into the music. Normally he didn't dig that Spanish crap but it was pretty good even with all the guitars and the usual chords that were typical of that crap. At least there were no mariachi bands. He would have just called it a night then and there. A moan caught his attention and he looked down to see Cerebus giving him the puppy look and he said, "Don't be trying that now."

It was futile since in the end Dean gave a glass of whiskey to the mutt just as the music changed. It was still one of those Spanish things but it had that modern hip hop crap to it. Dean didn't care as long as there was no mariachi music. He downed the drink he had and turned from the bar. There was a lot of noise coming from the direction of the 'dance floor' and he was curious.

Along the way he ran into Christian, Austin and Bobby in a three way drinking game. Dean was surprised that they were still functioning once he eyed the amount of shot glasses on the table. Bobby was grousing, "That all ya got ya damn vamps?"

Austin was having a good time and saying, "That and plenty of it. We could take this private." He waggled his brows suggestively.

Bobby groused and Christian, the usual wet blanket, was actually laughing. Dean couldn't help but laugh too since Bobby was as straight as could be. He couldn't help but say, "Well the owner said there were a couple of rooms…"

That was rewarded with a head slap and a warning from the grizzled hunter. Their party was interrupted with shouts from the dance floor and the three of them went over to take a look. Dean was standing there anticipating something worthy of teasing Sam about especially if his brother had been pulled onto the dance floor. What he got was a surprise that had him say with a slightly quizzical look, "Don't see that every day."

On the floor were four women dancing in a fairly coherent line. The bride Akira was paired with Ellen Harvelle while Jo had been paired with Angela and they were really on it. It was disturbing to Dean to see Ellen moving like she was his age and she didn't seem to mind with Akira egging her on until she took the lead and all four were dancing in formation.

Looking around Dean caught his brother watching in a drunken stupor. He could see Sam was just watching Angela and ignoring the others and couldn't help but laugh. It was even funnier when Sam would slur out 'shuddup' whenever someone hooted and cat called at Angela. Looking at Christian and Bobby, he could see that they were mesmerized by the whole scene.

Grabbing a beer that had been left aside, Dean tossed it back just at it came to a really good part. He watched as Angela took Jo by the hand and twirled her around, taking the lead. Jo's face was a little flushed from the excessive drinking but she was smiling and looking at Angela and they were looking at each other like how he looked at a girl he was mesmerized with. Dean had to blink because he became confused.

Angela then turned Jo until the younger girl's back was facing her. Jo completely molded into Angela's body as they cut a rug together. Angela's hands snaked forward and grasped Jo's abdomen and her hands ran up and down in a sensual manner, her head was bend low to nestle next to Jo's neck. Jo's left arm was raised to caress the side of Angela's head, her fingers threading through the loose tendrils.

The crowd was hooting and shouting and Dean was ogling like the rest of them. He wasn't surprised that Ellen wasn't scolding them. She was pretty out of it herself but not too risqué since she was with the bride. He watched as Jo suddenly turned around and put her hands on Angela's shoulders like she would a guy and she ground her hips close to Angela's and did one of those feminine chest bumps.

Angela's response was to pull Jo close and they ground hips until she took Jo by the hand and they did this weird little Latin dance thing. It was evident that Angela was leading aka wearing the pants and Jo was following and allowing herself to be twirled. Dean didn't notice that they were edging their way towards the edge until he was yanked from the crowd to find Jo trying to cut a rug with him. Glancing over he saw that Bobby and Christian had been drawn in by Ellen and Akira respectively. The best show came from Angela and Sam.

He didn't see it but Angela had let Jo go and maneuvered to be right in front of Sam. She sensually swayed her hips and when the tempo picked up, her feet started moving quickly. Her hips though were the mesmerizing feature. Dean did manage to catch a glimpse of her shirt slide up in the back to reveal her chakra tattoo and thought he was going to have to break it up with Jo to stop Sam from getting into a bar fight.

He didn't have to do anything since Angela was staring full on at Sam and he was staring back, like they were under some sort of spell or something. Any other guy who tried to get cute she moved away or her move was a well-placed kick to the groin or leg. Sam wasn't moving much but he was swerving to the beat not realizing he was watching the samba.

The music then changed tempo to one Dean was familiar with. Well the instrumentation was the same as it was in Milagro except it was more intense. By this time people were only watching Sam and Angela. She had this intense look on her face but it was glassy eyed indicating she was highly intoxicated and Sam was exhibiting the same symptoms as he took her proffered hand and they went to the middle of the dance floor.

Dean was surprised that Sam could follow through even though he didn't know the steps. He just seemed to take his cues from Angela as she would spin and suddenly stop. Her arms flowed with the movement and it was like watching a seduction done in dance form. He couldn't help but mutter, "Damn Sammy," when his brother spun her and it looked like he did it hard but it was full of feeling and he stopped her and she pivoted on the one leg to put her raised one behind Sam's and put her arms around his neck.

By then the music ended and Sam ended up dipping Angela and running his hand to her hip. He then brought Angela slowly up and she unwound her leg. They shared a look before they both burst out in hysterical laughter. They were really drunk and Dean was certain he was going to have to use the hangover cure on his little brother like he did when they were at that haunted house where they posed as antique hunters. He watched as Angela hung onto Sam, a good thing since he was the only one that matched her height, and she bellowed, "You owe me another round Carla."

Carla raised her glass up and motioned that she conceded the victory, "You always could persuade people to join you."

"Nah it was easy," Akira said, laughing hard against Christian. "The hard part was getting her to do it."

The crowd roared with laughter as Angela raised up another glass to indicate that she was acknowledging that point. She downed it as she gave a rather drunken ruffle of Sam's hair. Dean and Jo had gotten close enough to hear her say, "The floppy hair look is cute on you."

It was rather a shock to Dean that Sam didn't seem all that put out by that comment. He even let Angela pinch his cheek and mentioned something about adorable puppies. Then she grabbed Jo and said, "I love you." She followed through with a gentle tap to Jo's nose and kissed her full on the mouth and the surprise was that Jo didn't resist.

Dean looked at Jo as she allowed it and was even more scandalized when Ellen didn't say anything but was smooching against Bobby. That was something he didn't want to see but at least it was harmless cuddling. Still it was disturbing until Jo pulled him in for a kiss and Angela went back to Sam and hung on him.

The music started again and more drinks arrived. Dean was lounging against the table he was sitting against with Akira. They were both watching Angela standing on a table and singing a rather bawdy tune complete with dance moves. She fell off and was lucky Sam caught her and they sort of danced with him holding her bridal style and downing more drinks. He said, "Good party Akira."

"Better than a traditional rehearsal dinner," Akira replied. She downed the drink that had been placed in front of her. "I did this to show Mama and Baba that me and Chris trust each other. Has been that way since Samgie introduced us."

"Samgie?"

"Sam and Angie?" At the look Dean was giving her, Akira snorted, "Come on, you're not the only one who has noticed that she has the hots for your brother and vice versa. Anyone with eyes can see that."

"Tell me about it," Dean replied downing another shot. "Bonehead still thinks its platonic. I tell ya he can kill someone with the glare of doom."

Akira laughed, "Chris does the same. But only when necessary." She looked up to see Carla looking at them. She motioned for her to sit. "Carla, sit. You look ready to fall over."

"I am. Wouldn't mind since I like being drunk." She sounded a little cross.

Akira whispered a little loudly, "Bad breakup."

Dean nodded. He looked at Carla and found her to be hot. She was the kind of girl that he would end up hooking up a power coupling with had they been at the usual roadside bars. He knew she was one of the faculty at the academy and a friend of the bride and groom so he wasn't going to attempt to hit on her since she could be vamp, wolf or even a witch. He couldn't help himself though and asked, "Sup sweet thing. You looking pretty even drunk tonight."

Akira and Carla made a face at the bad pickup but Carla replied, "And you're devilishly drunk."

Dean gave his signature smirk and held up his glass to take a sip, "Well it pays to have perky nipples." He downed the last of the liquid and tapped the glass on the table for another round.

"I might like to see that," Carla flirted back.

Dean smiled and watched as she looked towards Sam and Angela waltzing around. Angela was still singing that bawdy tune and grabbed Sam by the neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He didn't say anything as he watched his brother and Angela interact like they had eyes only for each other. Carla then said, "They are in the same story but different pages."

"Yeah," Dean replied. "One day they'll be on the same page and then eventually the same paragraph." He raised his glass once the other round came and said, "To Samgie."

Akira raised hers along with Carla. All three of them drank. Dean was the one that proposed another round of drinking contests. The next thing he knew was that he was going upstairs with Carla and they were making out like crazy. And then…

~0~0~

Dean looked at Akira as they stood in the desert. Akira remembered dancing with Christian and then everything became a blur. It had been a late night when things seemed to wind down. Dean remembered that when they were groping and kissing each other Carla muttered something under her breath. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that she had been muttering a spell. He looked at Akira and said, "Your friend Carla did a spell or something and now we're out here in the middle of nowhere and you're supposed to be married."

Akira came to the realization herself but it didn't seem like Carla. "But Carla is not the kind to do something like this to friends."

"You can't always tell when it comes to witches."

"Should you really be saying that considering that you made out with Carla," Akira shot back, "Not to mention a certain Celtic witch…"

"Leave Hale out of this," Dean quickly and hotly retorted. He knew he was being a major hypocrite since he knew Hayley was a witch. "I know she's a witch. Just saying that sometimes people aren't always what they seem. You said it yourself that Carla was going through a bad breakup." He continued walking in the direction they picked and was relieved that he wasn't feeling as sick as before. "And being a drunk idiot, I hit on her."

"Yeah you did and then you two…" Akira shook her head. "I wonder what she did because the last thing I remember was dancing with Chris."

"No idea but I hope she didn't do anything to Sam or Angie. Sam's a bonehead right now and if they were…" Dean rambled on and realized how bad it could be if they woke up in a compromised position. He knew Angela would shut down completely and probably end up hurting Sam's feelings and then Sam would wonder if he did something wrong and… that was a mess he wasn't prepared to handle even thought he had been doing his best.

"I don't think she would be that cruel even if drunk."

"Who knows? Come on. We got a church to get to."

Akira nodded in agreement. They set off and started to make their trek through the desert.

A/N: And we kick off episode 3.14 with a twist. Looks like something happened and it started the night before with a couple of funny scenes. Let's see where it leads us next time on Get Me to the Church...