Alive, but not Alive

I am nothing to anybody anymore. Nothing but a thing of the past. I am practically dead. That's what ghosts are, right? Dead?

Looking into the mirror used to give me hope. I would see myself and see a man who had the will to go on, to pretend like nothing was going on. Now though... I see nothing. I am no longer staring at a reflection of myself. I am staring at the reflection of the wall behind me.

But I am here.

I'm not dead. I haven't died before and I pray I won't die soon.

Then why am I ghost? Why can't nobody see me? I reach my hand out, hoping to feel the cool surface of the mirror but my hand goes through. Something that I once would have thought impossible. Impossible as a camel fitting through an eye of a needle. It did, though. My hand went through the mirror.

I sigh restlessly and take a step back, taking my hand away from the mirror hanging above the sink. I begin to think that maybe, if I believe that I am not what I am I won't be. Believe in yourself. That's what people are always telling you.

Right?

I am not a ghost. I am not a ghost. I human. A ninja. I am not a ghost.

I glance at my hand, hoping it had returned to it's solid form as it once was. It hasn't changed. Will I be a ghost forever? Will I ever be seen again?

As a ghost... Can I die? In a way, I'm already dead. Will I be a ghost until the gates of Hell are opened and damnation is released upon Earth? Will I be a ghost until the depths of Earth have rotted over and the Earth falls apart?

I'm alive, but I'm not alive.

My thoughts are interrupted when Nya walks through the door. Nya, beautiful Nya. I am quite thankful she can't see me in the state I am now. But at the same time I still want to be heard. I try calling out her name. "Nya? Nya, it's me!"

She turns to me, her eyes glassy. She looks fragile, as if a small ounce of pain would shatter her. She wipes away a tear and walks through me.

She walks through me.

AMy body feels cold. My stomach ties in a knot. I know I am a ghost. I know that is real. This feels... Less real. This can't be happening?Why can't she hear me? Why can't I be me? I just want to hold her.

I fall to my knees, pain evident on my face.

Somebody. End it.

Well... Whatcha think? You like it? I do. Anyway... I wrote this at 1:30 in the morning. My brain isn't functioning properly. If you haven't guess, that was Cole's POV. XDD