I am a maleficar. Yes, you read that correctly. I am a terrifying force bent upon destroying all that the Maker has designed in this world. At least, that's what the templars would tell you. In all honesty, yes, I know blood magic, and I use it to my advantage. My scar-covered arms should be proof enough of that. However, I have never used the energy of another living person. I suppose I should explain myself, correct?

It all started when I was actually quite young. My name is Nolan Lavell. I had been in the Ferelden Circle since I was only two. My mother and father had been very religious, and a templar friend sensed magic within me. I don't wish to discuss my childhood. It's drab and depressing. But this story starts when I was but a humble lad of fifteen. I had shoulder-length black hair, my eyes but a few shades lighter. I was skinny enough to be picked up by the templars, whether or not they wanted me to be like this, I was unclear.

I was very nervous about everything. I had terrible nightmares. Of course I knew what happened to mages who had nightmares, I was willing to awaken in cold sweats then become a tranquil. Nothing made me more nervous than templars themselves, however.

This was, until, I had met a certain recruit.

His name was Terrence Askew. He was a handsome man. Dark hair and eyes like mine, and skin that matched his eyes. He kept his hair cut, for style or templar restriction I don't know. He was, as are all templars, well-built. At this time, he was sixteen.

The recruits were brought in to meet the apprentices, as they had to get used to us. Terrence caught my attention immediately, and as soon as I was able to I approached him.

I, being an anxious teenager, carefully tapped him on the shoulder. "Ex…excuse me…"

I was shocked how happily he turned around and smiled at me. "Hello! You're Nolan, correct?"

A knot in my stomach loosened, seeing how calmly he talked to me. "Yes…and your name is Terrence, right?"

He nodded in confirmation before responding, "Yes. Is there something you wanted, Nolan?"

I paused for a second, both in the fact that he referred to me by name instead of by the word, "Apprentice," and the fact that I expected him to brush me off as a power-hungry mage. I smiled. "I was just wondering…you…you seem a bit young."

Terrence chuckled, although I failed to see humor in the situation. "Yes, I was brought up in templar training early. I was dropped off at a chantry when I was a newborn and they decided this would be the best fate for me."

I was taken aback, surprised, but I was unclear if it was because he was dropped off as a child, or because he had no choice in the matter. "You didn't choose your fate?"

"No, I guess in that way, we're similar."

"What…what do you mean by that?"

"Well, mages don't choose to have that much power behind them, do they? If that was a choice, I don't know a good reason why anyone would refuse."

I looked around, catching a few glances from other recruits. "These are controversial views for a templar, are they not?"

The recruit shrugged, "I don't really care if they are. Besides, I believe templars exist as much to protect mages as they do to hunt them, perhaps more."

Before I could respond, in agreement or confusion, I'm unsure, one of my instructors had found me. "Nolan! You're missing our lesson on creation magic. Come quickly, lest you be punished."

I nodded quickly, starting to follow the older teacher before Terrence grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear, "Meet me tonight, in the library." Before I could even process what had happened, he had already left.

The day proceeded as normal, I learned a small bit about creation magic, at least enough to help the hurt birds outside the windows. But I had kept my mind on that recruit the whole day. Why was he so different? Why did he not fear me like everyone, even the grown templars, do? I had thought about all of this until around midnight.

I snuck out of my quarters to the library. There were a few templars, but after about five years you know their blind spots and which ones are actually asleep. Luckily, the library was lightly guarded at night, making it easy to get into.

Using an old trick, I let a small flame out of the tip of my finger, illuminating my way. I was frightened I had been misled, that this was simply a trick so that the templars could keep even a tighter grip on me.

Just as I was considering heading back to bed, I felt a familiar grip on my arm. I turned around to see Terrence. "So, why did you really stop to talk to me today?"

I felt my face turn red, but I found some solace in the fact that he could barely see, "I'm…I'm quite sure I don't know what you mean!"

Even in the dim light of my flickering flame I could sense him roll his eyes at me, "Come on, 'You seem young for a templar,' I'm a smart man, you know."

I blushed even harder, and looked away. "Well, maybe I thought…you were kind of handsome…for a templar, I mean."

He brushed the side of my face, "There's no need to be ashamed, you know. I'll be honest and say that I also find you handsome."

I felt like he could tell me what to do, and I would follow. This wasn't blood magic, this was something I did not know. I shook my head, pulling his hand away from my face. "Even if we wanted to, a templar can't love a mage. It's…forbidden, or something along those lines."

He took my hand in his, and leaned in slightly. "Then I suppose we have to keep this hidden."

He kissed me, for the first time in my life, I had felt affection, I was uncertain of how exactly I felt. All I knew was that I had no objections to it.