Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but the plots are mine.
Warnings: Yaoi, depressing subjects, suicidal thoughts, self-mutilation, abuse –sexual and physical- and drugs. . . all that sad stuff.
A/N: Ok. . .Well. . I know you're thinking, why is she starting so many new stories? I have a good answer for that!! XD Ok, I'll be reading something, like a book or another fanfiction for some other anime or something else I'm obsessed with, and my lovely muses for my fanfictions: Marx and Dresden, will poke me if I do not write down and actually write the story. So this one came to me when my friend was talking about his past when his mom sent him to an insane-asylum. –poor him- and I was thinking: Omfg, SasuGaa fic!! Ekk. Ok. . .so I have to write this one. . .X.x Enjoy it!!
-TG
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A blonde woman sighed as she pushed her younger brother forward. "We are only trying to help you Gaara. . ."
The red head, who obviously went by the name 'Gaara', looked slowly up at his older sister, emotionless. "Temari. . .that's not what Shukaku told me," Temari let out a frustrated sigh as she immediately stopped, grabbing Gaara's collar and pulling him to a stop.
"Stop listening to what 'Shukaku't tells you! He's not real!"
'Don't listen to her. Of course I'm real. If I wasn't real. . .you wouldn't be here. . .'
"He is real. . . "
"No. He's not!" Temari raised a hand and slapped it roughly across her younger brother's pale face. "We are sending you here to help you! Please. . .Gaara. ." Gaara covered the tender part of his cheek where Temari had previously struck him.
'See. . .didn't I tell you Gaara? I'm not hurting you. She is!'
Gaara let his hand fall as his sea-foam green eyes starred blankly up at Temari. "How long will I be here?" he whispered shoving his hands into his jean pockets, his eyes adverting to the ground, feeling Temari press her hand into his back, pushing him forward.
"However long it takes to make you .nor. . well. . ."
"Normal," Gaara finished for her, flinching at hearing himself say the horrid word. What was normal? No one was the same. They only thought they were! He didn't want to be normal.
'Normal? Are you kidding me?! Gaara, you'll never be normal!'
"I know. . "
'You obviously don't! Or else you would have refused to come to this horrid place!'
"Shukaku. . ."
Temari's eyes widened when she realized he was talking to Shukaku. This could get ugly. "Gaara. . . take a deep breath . . . "
'Hm? If you know so much, prove it. . .what IS normal?'
"I know. I KNOW! I'LL NEVER BE NORMAL!" Gaara screamed loudly, clutching his head quickly, wincing in pain. "Ah!" he collapsed to the ground, his vision and hearing going hazy. "Te-"
"GAARA!" Temari dropped to his side and shook his shoulders roughly. "Gaara! Come back to me! Don't leave. Don't!"
It was too late. With one last blood-curdling scream, Gaara clutched his head and fell unconscious for what seemed only a few seconds and soon stood back up. "Temari-chan. . ."
The girl's eyes widened at the deep voice. Shukaku. "Shukaku. . ." she whispered standing and backing up slowly. "I'm sorry Gaara . . .but I-I have to. . " she muttered under her breath, grabbing 'Shukaku's' neck, squeezing it till his eyes drooped and he fell limp. The only way to let Gaara gain control again was to knock out Shukaku and at times. . that was nearly impossible. Temari let Gaara crumple to the floor and she sat in the dim hallway until the boy came back to consciousness.
"Temari . ."
"Gaara! You're back!!" She lunged forward and clamped the boy in a hug, pulling him to stand. "We need to get you to the warden's room. . . we are already late," Temari once again, pushed Gaara forward and smiled, acting like none of it happened at all.
'God she annoys me. . .'
"You wouldn't have to deal with her if you just stopped taking over," Gaara hissed under his breath. He said it quietly so Temari couldn't hear.
'I know. But that's no fun!! I love taking over your body at times. It's so much fun!'
"Not for me. . ."
When they finally reached the office, Temari knocked quickly, waiting for someone to answer. Gaara sighed impatiently and grabbed the door-knob and quickly pushing it open, stepping in. "Gaara!" Temari hissed following him in.
"Who's there? And how dare you just waltz right in here!" A man with grey eyes glared sharply at Gaara, his black hair pulled into a ponytail at the back of his head," the sign on his desk said: Warden Itachi Uchiha.
"Oh! Mr. Uchiha!" Temari bowed and stepped forward, pulling the reluctant Gaara forward with her. "Sorry about that. This is my younger brother. Gaara Kaze. I'm Temari Kaze. . ." He starred blankly at Temari. "Um. . we spoke on the phone?"
"Oh. That's right. Ms. Kaze. . .Here at the Akatsuki Psychiatric Ward each patient, like Mr. Kaze here. . ." he motioned to Gaara. "Have a private therapist, or counselor. . . no one shares the same counselor for confidential reasons and no one shares rooms with other patients,"
"Why?" Temari pulled up a chair and sat down, watching as Gaara continued to stand.
"Well, some of them have things that the other's can't have. Prescription drugs, sharp objects. . .things like that. So, just to be safe, we make sure each patient is isolated and only comes in contact with me, doctors, nurses and mainly their counselors. Do you understand?" Temari slowly nodded and smiled at Gaara, who just glared straight forward.
'It's like prison Gaara. They want to lock you up. . '
"I know," Gaara whispered softly, watching silently as Temari signed some release forms, standing and nodding at Itachi. "Which way is floor L, section O and room 22-5?" ((L-O and 22-5 is 22:V and 5:E. So: L-o-v-e)) Itachi pointed to his left and smiled.
"Up 2 floors and to the right until you come to a red door with an O on it, open it and walk down that hallway until you get to room 22-5," Itachi sighed and turned to Gaara, who was still sitting. "Your counselor is my younger brother, Sasuke. He's had many good patients. You will like him," Itachi said nodding.
"Come on Gaara!" Temari pulled the boy up and smiled at Itachi. "Thanks so much Mr. Uchiha," she nodded at him and left the office.
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"Here we are! Room 22-5!" Temari knocked on the door loudly, tapping her foot softly when the door didn't open.
"Coming. . " a voice muttered from inside. The door was pulled open and a gorgeous man with raven black hair to his neck stood there, obsidian eyes that stared down at Gaara coolly. "Is this Gaara? Nice to meet you. I'm Sasuke. . " he put out a hand, waiting for Gaara to shake it.
The boy stared blankly up at Sasuke, taking his hand lightly, moving it slowly. "Gaara," he muttered.
'Damn he's hott! Gaara!! I think I am going to like being here after all!'
"Shut up Shukaku. . ." Gaara hissed, letting Sasuke's hand go.
Temari smiled brightly before hugging Gaara tightly. "Bye Gaara! I'll come check up on you soon!!" she kissed the love sign on his forehead lightly before pushing the boy into the room and leaving down the hallway. Sasuke slowly pushed the door shut and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Here. Come into the living area," Sasuke pulled Gaara into what seemed like a huge 'apartment'.
Gaara looked to one of the corners and noticed his bags there. "It's 7 pm. That means it's therapy time,"
"Isn't it always therapy time?"
"No. There's therapy in the morning at 8 am, for an hour. . .then breakfast. Checkup, then some free-time, lunch, classes. . "
"Classes?"
"Yeah. Tutoring. . .you do have to learn here. Anyway, after classes are over you have another therapy session, then dinner. . then some more free-time. . .then bed,"
"Is every day like that?"
"Yeah. It doesn't sound like much fun. But you get use to it. Please, sit,"
Gaara did as he told and sat on a couch, looking at Itachi quietly. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"Isn't this where you ask me questions about my 'feelings'?"
'Oh god. I do NOT want to hear about your feelings again Gaara!"
"I don't care Shukaku . . ." Gaara hissed under his breath, crossing his legs on the couch. Sasuke raised a brow at Gaara, noticing very well that Gaara was speaking to himself.
"I know where we'll start. . .who is 'Shukaku'?" Sasuke pulled out a clipboard and a pen, looking patiently at Gaara, waiting for an answer.
"Shukaku? Oh. He's. . well. . he's. . " Gaara paused and bit his lip lighty. "Temari says he's me. . . "
"So he's a slit personality?"
'The hell I am! I am no one's 'split personality!' You tell that damned therapist I am as real as his pretty gay ass!'
"No! Shukaku shut up. Please. I'll explain. . . .it to him! Ok?"
"So he's an inner voice?"
"Well. . he likes to be called a spirit. He's a lot older than me. I've always had him with me. It made things hard when I was in school. . ." Gaara fumbled with his hands, keeping his eyes on them.
"How so?" Sasuke scribbled something on his clipboard and looked back up, his obsidian eyes focusing on Gaara's adverted face.
"He'd speak to me and I'd speak back. People thought I was weird. I had no friends. . .my teachers sent reports home saying I was troublesome in class. Soon, my dad started getting mad at me. My grades dropped because Shukaku talks a lot, gives me false answers. . . I can't ignore him,"
Sasuke slowly nodded, scribbled something, and smiled. "Continue,"
"So, one day, I told my dad I was refusing to go to school from now on. He got angry at me and started hitting me. As my grades dropped, the beatings grew worse. Shukaku can take over my body, control it. . .making me the 'spirit' that talks to him. He'd affect my grades, saying he was helping. .but he only made it worse," Gaara took in a breath and looked up at Sasuke slowly. "My dad thought I was crazy. He stopped abusing me.. physically. . "
"What do you mean?" Sasuke leaned forward, crossing his arms, his eyes burning into Gaara's.
"Instead of physical abuse he started sexually abusing me. At first it was just minour things lik-"
"Gaara. . . ."
"Yes?"
"Sexual abuse is never minour. Even if it's not rape or oral. Any thing that he did to make you feel horrible. .it's majour. Don't let anyone tell you other wise. Ok?" This kid. I haven't seen a kid this bad in all my days. I feel for him. I want to make him know he's not just someone's piece of trash.
"Thanks. . ."
"No problem. . Do you want to continue?"
"Yeah . " Gaara softly mumbled shifting in his chair and sighing. "But before I do. I feel really uneasy with you being so far away. . . "
Sasuke raised a brow and stood up. "Do you want me to sit closer to you? I can if you want. . "
"Yeah. I don't like it when I can't see a person's facial expression. . . " Gaara muttered slowly, moving over so Sasuke could sit next to him. Sasuke moved over to the couch and sat down, smiling at him.
"Go ahead. Continue,"
"Like I said, they were little things. Touching. . kissing, that kind of stuff. One night, he came home from his birthday party with some friends and I hadn't done anything . . .Temari was at a sleepover with her friends, Kankuro –my brother- was out with some friends too. I was alone, sleeping in my room. I thought I hadn't done anything. I thought I didn't. But obviously something I did ticked him off. He came barging into my room and started hitting me. Harder than he use to," Gaara paused for a moment, his eyes growing wide at remembering this. "He then. . raped me. I had never felt anything so horrible before. The feeling of just. . ."
"Dirt?"
"Yeah. I felt wrong. I felt like. . I had something taken away, my innocence or something. I had done something wrong. It was. . .my fault." With a small cry, tears ran down Gaara's cheeks for the first time in 10 years, his hands covered his face quickly as he sobbed into them.
Before he could protest –he wasn't one for hugging-, Sasuke had pulled Gaara into his lap and was rubbing small circles on his back, hugging onto him. "Shh. Gaara. . .you did nothing wrong. He was drunk. He did the wrong deed, not you. Shhh," Sasuke continued to rub circles on the thin boy's back, letting him cry into his shoulder.
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A/N: O.O' I wrote this damned story in an hour. I like it. Please review if you want to read the next one. Tell me if you liked it!!
-TG