It was a cloudy and rainy day as I stood by the window,looking out on the busy New York streets.I closed my eyes as I thought about the past,diving into my memories of my once true love.

earlier this year,I stood in the long waiting line,waiting to meet Big Time Rush. I was a big fan,I loved all of their songs and I adored every one of them,but one of them really got my attention and also won my heart.

My blue eyes looked up at the table,I saw all of them,Kendall,Logan,Carlos and last but not least James. He was my favorite,I absolutely loved every single thing about him,His smile,which could make any girl melt,His smile is very contagious,like when you look at him,you can't help but smile too

I also loved how sweet and handsome he is,he's also very funny.

After a few minutes the line began to move and soon,it was my turn to meet them,I couldn't wait!

Finally after getting Kendall's,Logan and Carlos autograph,I arrived at James,who was the last one,my cheeks was starting to warm, right as soon as he looked at me

"Hey there."James greeted me,smiling at me and taking my cd booklet

my lips curled into a shy smile"H-Hi James."

"so pretty girl,what's your name?"He asked,getting his pen ready

I blushed even more as I met his gaze"i-it's Jamie."I replied softly,brushing my brown hair behind my ear

"cool!hey that's like the girl version of my name."He laughed,signing his name to my booklet

"y-yeah."I said,smiling back at him

James gave me a smile before he handed my booklet back to me"do you want a picture with me?"

my heart skipped a beat,I laughed softly"y-yeah but...I thought you guys weren't allowed to?"

He chuckled and came around to my side of the table,wrapping an arm around me"no worries,do you have a camera?"

I nodded as I quickly fished my camera out of my bag,as He aimed the camera at us,He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek,my eyes widened,which was a bad thing to do,since the camera caught it

James smiled as He handed me my camera"there you go."

I looked up at him,He practically towered over me"t-thank you,it was so nice to meet you."

"the pleasure was all mine,Jamie."He replied

Ever since that day,I thought I would never see James again,boy was I wrong!

Months later,I was at Starbucks,getting my daily mocha.I walked into that coffee shop,thinking nothing would happen,but clearly I was very wrong.

I thanked the cashier for my coffee and as I turned around,I bumped into something,or someone.I gasped as my coffee ended up all over the person I had ran into"oh my god,I'm so sorry!it was an accident!"

"no worries Jamie."

my eyes widened,I slowly looked up,James was standing there,my coffee all over his shirt

"J-James."I whispered"w-what are you doing here?"

He bent down and held out his hand,I shyly took it and he pulled me right to my feet,giving me his beautiful smile"I'm here for coffee."

I laughed lightly,of course coffee,don't be stupid,like he would be here for you!I shook my head of that thought"w-well the coffee is very good."

James gently brushed my shoulder as He passed me to the counter"two mocha's please."

two?I turned back to him"so um...do you have a date? since your ordering two mocha's."

He laughed and turned his head to me"no,the other one is for you."

my heart leaped out of my chest,my cheeks warmed,like they always do when I see him"oh...y-you didn't have to really."

James soon returned to me,giving me my new mocha,I looked up at him"t-thank you."

He winked at me as he sipped his coffee"want to really thank me?then sit with me,while I drink this."

again my heart started pounding so hard I was afraid he would hear it"w-what?no...no I couldn't."

I regretted saying that,but honestly,why would he want to sit with me?

He frowned,his forehead creasing"why not?"

because I'm not good enough!I shook my head"b-because I have t-to go to work."I quickly grabbed my bag and exited the coffee shop

"wait!"I heard a yell as soon was I was outside,I whirled around,James was looking at me,clearly hurt that I didn't want to sit with him

"what?"I asked,afraid of breaking down

He came closer,soon towering over me,a softened expression on his face"please sit with me,I want to get to know you better."

my heart melted at the tender tone in his voice,I sighed and looked up at him"alright...but can we sit out here?"

James instantly lightened up at my request"sure,anything the lady wants,she gets."

We soon got a table and talked,chatted about anything,life,careers,family,I told him how I wanted to be an actress someday,He was very supportive,He said I could definitely do it.

From that day on,James and I,continued to talk and hang out.I loved just being with him but I knew I wanted more,I wanted to feel his lips against mine,run my fingers through his brown hair.

but until James gave me some sort of sign he felt the same,I would keep that to myself.

However I soon would know his lips against mine,not planned but I'm glad it happened,Since it opened a new door for us

I was having trouble running my lines,sighing I crashed on my couch"god!why can't I get this right!"I smacked my head

My apartment door opened"knock knock."sang a voice that I loved to hear

I laughed softly"hi James,come on in."

He lightly jumped on the couch and sat next to me,His thighs touching mine,I lightly blushed

"hey beautiful,what's up?"He asked,looking at the sheet in my hands

"it's just these lines,I can't get the hang of it."I growled,tossing the sheet behind me

James smirked and caught the sheet,His eyes quickly scanned it"well it's no wonder,it's a kissing scene."

I rolled my eyes"thank you captain obvious."

He gently touched my shoulder"I'll help you with this one."

I gulped"n-no no!that's okay!"I insisted

He shook his head and began reading the male part"come on Jenny,just kiss me already."

my heart was pounding as I slowly read my part"no Adam,we can't!"

James grabbed my hand,bringing to his lips"why not?I thought you loved me."

oh god,I felt myself panicking,breathe Jamie Breathe.I cleared my throat"I do love you,but it would never work!"

He grabbed my chin,his acting was perfect"give me one good reason why it wouldn't work."

"b-because,your famous...a-and I'm not."I replied,these words were echoing my fear

James leaned his forehead against mine"don't be silly Jenny,your perfect."He whispered the last part,then He met my lips

my heart was pounding so hard,I could feel it.I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck,making this last,His tongue licked my lips begging for entry,I let him in,James ran his fingers through my hair as He deepened our lip lock

He started to kiss my neck,my head was spinning so fast,I was barely aware that he was going beyond acting now,I moaned as I felt him bite my weak spot

He layed me down on the couch and captured my lips once more.I was in heaven,god this felt so wonderful,my right hand layed against his heart,it was beating as fast as mine was

I looked up at him,his eyes met mine,we were both breathing heavily,his body on top of mine.

I knew one of us was going to have to say something,so I went first,I took a deep,shaky breath"h-how do you feel?"I whispered,gazing up at him

James just leaned down and rubbed his nose against mine"didn't that kiss prove how I feel?"He whispered back,staring right into my eyes

After that day,I thought that my luck was finally changing,I thought,finally my life would be great for once. but as usual I'm wrong

I gasped at the sight in front of me,James was on top of a girl,shirtless,in a deep make out session.I stood frozen in the doorway,waiting for him to notice

when he didn't,I completely lost it,I shook my head in anger"JAMES!HOW COULD YOU!"I yelled,He stopped and whirled his head at me"J-Jamie..."

I shook my head and ran,running blindly,tears were running down my face as I ran through the studio,I ran outside,gasping for air

my tears wouldn't stop as I called for a cab,clearly the driver sensed my hurt and said he would hurry.I sat on the bench,waiting for the cab to show,I wrapped my jacket around me,shivering from the cold

"Jamie,please wait!"

go away James,I choked a sob as I turned to look at him,letting him see my tears falling"what do you want?"I whispered harshly

He sat next to me"i-it's not what it looks like."He stuttered

oh please,that's the best he can do?my teary eyes glared at him"how could you James?"I cried,choking on every sob"I-I-I loved you! and you go and do this to me!"

"I'm sorry."He replied

I stood up,wiping my tears"that's not good enough,good bye,Maslow."I seethed as I opened the cab door,thank god it got here.

And that brings me back to the beginning,I sighed and turned away from my window,I picked up a box and put it near the door,as I did,something fell out of the box

I bent over and picked it up,I flipped it over,it was the picture I took with James when I first met him, my lips trembled as I stuffed the picture back in the box,I couldn't stand looking at him anymore.

"beep beep"

that would be my phone,I got a text,I fished my cell out of my bag,flipping it open,I saw it was a text from James

"baby plz,I'm so sorry!"

I rolled my eyes,I quickly typed back"leave me alone asslow"I pressed the sent button,smirking to myself

"ding dong."

I froze,that couldn't be him,could it?He wouldn't dare.I slowly walked to the door,unlocking all the bolts,I opened it only to see, James

my eyes narrowed"what are you doing here?"

He brushed passed me"you wouldn't give me a chance to talk!"

I crossed my arms over my chest"generally girls don't give a guy a chance to talk if he's cheating on her."I spat

James wrapped an arm around me and pulled me to him,hugging me really close"please!"He begged

I struggled against his hold"let me go James!"I started to pound on him but it didn't make a difference

He cupped my face,crashing his lips against mine,I pushed him back,glaring at him"you think it would be that easy?that you just kiss me and all is forgiven?"

He looked at me with wide eyes"Jamie please"

I held up a hand to stop him"no James,you can't fix this."

James eyes looked down,He shuffled his shoes on the floor"that's because you won't let me."

I took a deep breath"just go,please."I held the door open for him

He lightly brushed past me,as soon as He was out the door,I closed it behind him and leaned against it,tears falling down my cheeks

"I'm sorry James but I can't forgive you."

A/N

my first BTR story:),I've been a fan of them for a while now,this short story popped into my head lolz

anyway please Read and Review:)

xoxoxoxoxo