Burn It Down
By: Michelle Rose Landau
Summary: Modern AU I never thought that protecting the very people I love, my family, would nearly cost me everything. Based on A History of Violence.
Pairings: Peeta/Katniss
Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games, nor any of its characters. They are the sole creative property of Suzanne Collins.
A/N: I know it's been a while since I've updated or posted anything. I haven't had the time to focus on my multi-chaps like I want, so I've had a couple one-shots in the wings. I started this story a while ago, and I just decided to dust it off and finish it. It's based off of A History of Violence, a brilliant film. Enjoy.
It's a quiet evening here in Panem, Nebraska and folks are beginning to head home because that's what we do here: we maintain easygoing schedules, we take our time with everything, we chat with our neighbors, and we eat dinner with our families around the table. Our lives are simple, but we're not simple people. We're up on all of the issues of the day, we vote, we read, we make sure that we pay our taxes, and we're law abiding citizens.
I know just about everyone here, and I'm good friends with many of them. This is the place where I became a man, and there were plenty of people to help me do that.
I started up my own bakery, I married a good girl, had a couple of kids...
Things have been good the last seven years.
The last of my customers head out, not before putting a tip for me and for my assistant, Octavia, in the jar.
"Good night, Mr. Mellark," Octavia calls from the front.
"Night Octavia," I call back.
I lock up the bakery, then I begin to head home.
My house sits on an acre of land just a little outside of the town. My wife, Katniss, and I bought it once business at the bakery picked up. It's got two stories, a nice wrap around porch, a long drive, and of course, yard toys everywhere from my little ones. There's a wheat farm down the road and it's a literal field of gold. It looks like a wave when there's a breeze. Our neighbor, Haymitch Abernathy, is nice enough to let my kids play in the field; turns out the surly old drunk has a sentimental streak...at least when it comes to the kids. He lets them sit on his porch and drink juice boxes while he tells them stories. They love him to death, and he's come to love them too.
Haymitch practically raised Katniss and her sister when her mother became despondent after her father's death. It was a stroke of luck that we got the house adjacent to Haymitch's land.
When I enter the house, the smell of dinner is in the air, and my stomach grumbles. My wife is a true midwestern girl, and she can cook. Our first year of marriage, she let out every pair of pants that I owned because she'd kept me so well fed. I round the corner into the kitchen, and I see Katniss at the oven, finishing up dinner, and she's humming. Her voice is so beautiful, and she often sings to our children, who are at the table coloring.
Belle is just now four, and Chase is two. Belle has her mother's dark hair, but she's got my complexion: fair skinned and rosy cheeked, with blue eyes. My son has got curly blonde hair, like I used to have when I was a tot, but he's got my wife's gray eyes and perpetual scowl. My wife's personality is strong, and both of our children inherited most of her mannerisms. Katniss doesn't take shit, not from anyone, especially not me, and our kids are the same way. Watching them interact with other kids is interesting, and often amusing because they talk circles around most kids their age. One time my Belle talked a kid out of two pudding cups and a Barbie doll.
"Daddy!"
Chase gets down from his seat and he runs over to me.
"Hey buddy."
I pick him up, and I kiss the top of his head.
Bella soon follows and she wraps her little arms around my legs, nearly toppling me.
"Hi baby girl," I say as I kneel down and pick her up.
Katniss turns and she grins as she takes me in as I haul our two babies up.
"Hi," she says.
I lean in and kiss her. "Hey."
I set the kids down.
"Daddy, look at what I colored," Belle presents excitedly.
"That is beautiful, honey."
"Look Daddy!" Chase says.
"I see," I smile.
Kat made tacos for us, and quesadillas for the kids.
"So, Belle got into a little scuffle today at the park," Katniss begins.
"Belle, what happened?"
Belle pouts. "I pushed Hannah."
"Why?" I ask.
"Because, apparently, Hannah played with Belle's dolls a minute too long, and she decided that instead of using her words and politely asking for them back, she pushed Hannah down and snatched it."
I look at Bella. "That wasn't very nice, sweetie. I hope you apologized."
"I did Daddy," Belle says, trying to get into my good graces.
God, I'm so whipped.
"You can't just beat people up when they owe you something," I tell her.
"You can't beat people up at all," my wife amends.
"That too," I chuckle.
Katniss and I talk about other things, the usual: bills, the kids' schedules, the bakery, events, things that need to be done around the house, Haymitch, our garden...
When dinner is done, we both get the kids bathed, their little teeth brushed, and their pjs on. We watch a cartoon with them, and they are fast asleep before the end. We both put them in their respective beds, then the last of our evening begins.
I rake my eyes over Katniss' shapely figure and fixate on her ass as she cleans the dishes from dinner. When we first met, I thought she was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen, and it definitely helped that she had a great ass, and fantastic tits. All I've been thinking about all day is getting some pussy from my wife. Between the kids, work, and lack of sleep, we've barely been able to go at it as much as we used to. It's been nearly unbearable, and when I do sleep, I think about her, bent over, ass in my hands, her hands gripping the sheets while I-
"I've got to get the kids up to take them to Dr. Aurelius tomorrow," she reminds me.
"Uh huh."
As soon as she turns round, I'm on her, capturing her lips with mine. I kiss her deeply, hungrily as I pull her up against me tightly.
I unbutton her blouse, and trail kisses down over her neck.
Katniss immediately gives in, asking no questions. She knows what I want, need, and I know that she needs this as much as I do.
She lifts my shirt, and I pull away from her and I take my shirt off, then I kiss her again. I whisper what I'm planning on doing to her tonight, and she growls and smiles, amping her up even more.
I lick her, finger her, she gives me head, I sit down and pull her into my lap and she rides the hell out of me, all before we even get into our bed.
God, I love this woman.
She releases these breathy moans against my lips as I fuck her, her hands flitting over the damp skin of my back. She's hot, slick, and tight from her last orgasms, and I'm completely lost in her. Her legs are spread wide for me, and I move against her unencumbered. Yeah, she really needs and wants this. I kiss her over and over, and she whimpers as she plants a hand against our slightly jostling headboard as she bucks her hips to meet mine.
Suddenly, she's coming again, and I muffle her rough cries with a kiss. My release takes over, and I come into her so hard I'm dizzy, and for some reason, I really hope that our fuck fest knocks her up again, because there's nothing sexier than knowing that I put my baby inside her, than seeing her get round and plump with my child, a true reminder that Katniss is mine.
Katniss groans pleasantly as she turns and nuzzles into my neck. We're both sweaty and in need of air, and she purrs as she nibbles at my earlobe and gently rakes her fingernails down my slick chest.
"Mmm," she moans, clearly satisfied.
I take her into my arms and kiss her softly.
Katniss, my kids...they're my world.
From the moment we met, I just envisioned the life we have now with her.
We were about four months in to our relationship, and we decided to fuck for the first time. We were compatible in every sense: physically, mentally, emotionally. We were completely connected to one another, and we've been that way ever since. It was more than just the sex, though. It was just her.
"I love you, Katniss," I whisper to her, and she sits up and looks at me, a contented, shag drunk grin on her face.
"I love you too," she smiles.
I chuckle and I caress her cheek.
"We should sleep," she whispers.
I nod, and We curl up together, and it's not too long before we fall asleep.
"Daddy!"
My little ones come tottering into the bakery, and I step out from behind the counter and pick them both up.
"Hey, Ducks," I smile. "What're you doing here?"
Katniss comes strolling in, belly first.
Not too long after the night we made love like rabbits, Katniss was showing me a positive pregnancy test. I knew she'd gotten pregnant before that though; she started puking, her tits got swollen, and she was weepy. The weepiness was new, but the other symptoms she'd experienced with our first two babies were a dead giveaway to me. That, and she smells differently. Not bad, but different, a little muskier than usual and a little fruity. She tastes the same way when I go down on her while she's pregnant. Suffice it to say, I'm loving the fact that she's going to give birth to our third baby.
"Mommy said we can go to eat at Miss Sae," Chase explains.
"Did she now?"
"Yep," Chase nods.
My wife grins. "I was getting cabin fever, and the kids were tired of stew, so, it's Sae's tonight."
"Alright, I'll lock up."
I set the kids down, and I begin to cash out the register.
"Hey, Katniss," Octavia says jovially, and the women begin to chat. "You look stunning..."
Katniss has never been one for vanity. She's always been modest, and it's hard for her to take compliments on her beauty. She looks incredible at five months pregnant with our baby. Her hair is wavy and flowing down her back, and she's got on a snug blouse that hugs her belly, and a pair of jeans. She's filled out and curvy from the new baby, and I love it. I love kids, I love family life. I love coming home to little faces that are a perfect mix of me and the woman that I love.
Two gentlemen, around nineteen or so, come sauntering into my bakery. They've got a look to them that I immediately bristle at: scruffy, unkempt, cocky, especially the one that ogles my wife shamelessly.
"Heard this is the best bakery in town," the taller one says.
"Well uh, you two are going to have to come back in the morning, I'm closing up, headed out with my family," I inform them evenly.
"Yeah," he smirks, giving my wife a once-over. "What a fine family you have. Anyway, my brother and I just drove in...anywhere to eat?"
"Uh, couple diners, along this street," I tell them. "Can't miss them."
"'Kay, thanks."
They walk out.
I lock up, and Octavia heads home.
We walk to Sae's diner.
Katniss and I have got each of Belle's hands in ours, and we swing her between us, while I carry Chase.
We go into the diner, and the cool air immediately greets us.
We sit at a booth, and Lavinia, Katniss' friend from school immediately comes up to serve us.
"Can I have a pizza, please?" Belle asks.
"Of course you can, Belle Baby," Lavinia smiles sweetly. "And what can I get for you handsome?"
"I want macaroni," Chase says.
"What do you say, buddy?"
"Please," Chase says as he goes back to coloring.
"Good boy," I grin, and I kiss his forehead.
Katniss orders a steak, mashed potatoes, and corn with a chocolate shake. She's such a carnivore, and it's damn sexy.
I order a Philly cheesesteak and fries.
While we're waiting on dinner, Katniss chows down on the cheese buns I gave her before we left the bakery.
"God, I'm so hungry," she laments with a stuffed mouth.
"No kidding," I chuckle. "I guess I should stop at the market and stock up for your midnight craving."
She tilts her head to the side.
"You're not funny," she scolds lightly. "Besides, you should pamper me, it's your fault."
"I take full responsibility, and I will happily do penance by treating you to peanut butter and tacos at three am," I tease.
She smiles.
"I'll be back, I'm gonna go the mens' room," I tell her, and she nods.
"Hey, wait," she smirks, and I look at her.
"I didn't get my kiss," she smiles, and I lean down and kiss her softly. "Hmm...you can make that part of your penance, too."
I laugh, and kiss her again.
I go to the restroom, and less than five minutes later, everything changes.
There is a gunshot, and I flinch, and I hear screams, and whimpers, and clattering dishes...my children crying.
I hear one man shouting commands, then a calmer, lecherous sounding voice, a familiar voice.
I slowly open up the door to the restroom, and I slowly step out of the vestibule, and one of the men, a trigger-happy looking fucker, looks over at me, and he alerts his brother.
"Ah, the baker..."
Obviously, the calm one is the oldest.
"I was just asking your hot wife where you'd gone," he smirks.
I put my hands up slowly.
"Look, I don't want anyone to get hurt," I say, focusing on my family.
Katniss is holding our babies tightly, shielding them with her body. He's got a gun pointed at them, and my heart is pounding so hard, but not with fear.
Everyone in the diner is glued to their tables, trembling, paralyzed with fear and uncertainty. Lavinia is crying, and Sae is stoic, but I can see the fear in the old woman's eyes.
"May I return to my family, please?"
"Get over there," the younger brother commands.
"Thank you," I say.
The next minute is a blur, and then the world comes back into focus.
The two brothers are dead, and my family is in my arms.
The police show up shortly after, and they begin to question everybody.
My name, and the word "hero" floats around, and then there's an applause.
Sheriff James Boggs comes over to me once my wife and kids are taken to be checked out by the paramedics.
He shakes my hand.
"Heard you took them boys out," he says. "Brave thing you did there, son."
"I just wanted to protect my family is all," I shrug.
"Well, you did that and more," Boggs informs me.
Apparently, the two brothers, Jason and Markus Cray, had been going cross-country causing havoc with various armed robberies and murders. They even killed a seven year old girl who was helping her grandparents at a convenience store. So, they wouldn't have been above killing my children if they'd decided to.
Sick fucks.
"Far as I'm concerned, you did a public service," Boggs says. "Hope the sick bastards rot in hell."
"You and me both," I say.
"You can expect lots of phone calls over the next few days," Boggs says. "So give me your cell, that way I'm not disturbing your family. Katniss is pretty shaken."
"Okay."
I give him my information, then I go over to my wife and my children.
"Daddy, Daddy!" Bella cries.
I take her into my arms, and kiss her.
"Daddy's got you," I whisper. "I've got you, Duck."
Katniss comes over and kisses me.
"Are you okay?" She asks in a shaky voice.
"I'm fine, babe," I assure her. "I'm worried about you..."
"I-I'm okay..." She says. "Let's just go home."
"Yeah," I nod in agreement, and I take my family home.
Neither of us gets any rest.
Belle and Chase both have nightmares, and they end up sleeping between us in our bed. It's like that all through the week, and the hot summer days keeping them indoors most of the time isn't helping. They're cranky and sleepy, and it's just so hard watching them suffering the fallout.
Boggs takes my statement, though he was curious:
"Where'd you learn how to handle yourself like you did?"
"I just...reacted."
"Reaction is one thing...but...both those boys had guns, and you not only overpowered them, you took 'em both out...almost like a pro. Ex-military?"
"No sir. Like I said...I just reacted. My pregnant wife and my two small children were helpless and in danger. If anything were to happen, I would've rather it happened to me than to them, or anyone else."
"I understand."
Only, I could tell that he didn't, but he left it alone because in the grand scheme, two criminals were dead, and for the most part everyone thought, good riddance.
After that, the local news came to interview me, and I told them the same thing...I just wanted to walk out of that diner with my family alive and intact.
"You look handsome on TV," Katniss comments as she sits on the couch, rubbing her belly.
"Yeah,"I joke. "I told them to get my good side."
She looks at me adoringly, and I bring her into my arms.
"I love you," she whispers. "You were so brave."
"I just wanted to protect you," I tell her.
After a couple of weeks, everything seems to calm down, though we get thank you cards and meals from the folks who were in the diner during the hold up.
In the meantime, business picks up at the bakery.
The kids seem to be recovering pretty well, but Katniss brings them by in the afternoons because they want to be near me. We've been able to divert their attention to other things, like the baby, which is going to be another boy, seeing their grandparents, and helping to pick out clothes and colors for the new baby.
I teach Belle and Chase a couple of recipes when it gets slow in the bakery.
Katniss smiles as she watches.
There are a few customers drinking coffee and enjoying their treats, and finally, life seems to settle again.
The door opens and the bell dings, and I look up, and I see a man, probably in his mid fifties, come in, dressed in slacks, a button down shirt, and a wool trench coat. He takes off his leather gloves, and he strides right up to the counter.
"Hi, what can I get for you?" I ask.
The man just stares me down, and I offer him a smile.
Katniss, wary, comes around the counter, and she takes Belle and Chase to the back.
"We've got new flavors," I begin. "For summer: mango, lime-"
"I would just like a coffee please," the man says. "Black."
"Coming up," I say.
I pour him a cup of coffee and set it in front of him.
"Anything else?"
He grins. "Yeah...wow, kid, gotta hand it to ya..."
"Excuse me?"
"You can lie to yourself, to all your friends, and this...little podunk town, but you can't lie to me," he says gruffly. "You're Petey McCourt. From Philly."
I look at the man.
"I'm sorry, you're mistaken," I tell him. "I'm Peeta Mellark, and I'm from Panem...I've never even seen Philadelphia."
The man laughs. "Oh, kid...that's rich. Zebras can't change their stripes. You're Petey McCourt, from Philly. I'm Romulus Thread, and I was sent here to find you. Funny thing, you made the national news, and I saw your mug, and I said, 'Hey, that's Petey McCourt. Never forget the boy that was a pain in the ass.'"
My jaw clenches.
"Sir, like I said," I repeat calmly. "My name is Peeta, I'm from Panem, I have a wife and two children, a third on the way."
Romulus chuckles.
"So you're a family man now?"
"You best be on your way, Mr. Thread," I say.
The man nods, taking a single sip of his coffee before leaving it behind on the counter.
When he leaves, Katniss emerges from the back.
"Who was that man?" She asks.
"I don't know," I tell her.
"Why was he calling you Petey McCourt?"
"He was mistaken, babe," I say. "It's not a big deal."
I kiss her forehead, and she grins.
Later, at home, I help Katniss make dinner, and I notice a pensive look on her face.
"What's the matter?" I ask, concerned, thinking that it might be the baby.
"Hmm? Oh," she says, shaking her head. "Nothing. It's nothing...it's stupid, actually."
"Tell me," I urge her.
"That man," she begins. "I just thought that was so odd. He seemed like he knew you..."
I find myself bristling, but before I can say anything, she speaks again.
"But I know it was just a mistake," she dismisses. "I'm glad you're not who he's looking for. He looked kind of creepy."
"Yeah," I grin, then I turn my attention to the fact that she's on her feet. "Babe, you need to get off your feet."
Katniss rolls her eyes. "You know, I've done this a couple times, Peeta. I'm fine."
"I know," I tell her as I wrap my arms around her, putting my hands on her belly. "Indulge me...please? I'll finish up with dinner."
"Okay," she smiles, then she kisses me.
I pour her a glass of iced tea, then she goes and sits at the table with Chase and Belle. I finish up making the lasagna then I place everything on the table. I cut small pieces for the kids, and Katniss helps herself.
We talk as usual, and the kids laugh around their forks and act silly.
After dinner, we clean up and put the kids to bed, then we take ourselves to bed, only we don't go to sleep.
Katniss wants me to make love to her, and I'm not going to deny her. The pregnancy has made her that much fucking hotter to me, and I realize that I'm a little horny, so I take her. I kiss over her body, pressing a tender kiss to her belly, then I spend some time tasting her between her legs before we go nuts.
"Oh my God," she pants as she lies down onto her back.
"Yeah," I breathe, lying down beside her.
"You were fucking incredible, honey," she sighs blissfully.
I pull her into a deep kiss, then she pulls away, pressing her forehead to mine.
"Mm...I'm hungry," she says, and I chuckle.
"What're you in the mood for?" I ask. "Aside from me, of course."
She laughs, and God, she's beautiful, glowing.
"I want pineapple and sour cream," she tells me. "I know it's weird, but my mouth is fixed for it."
"I'll go to the store," I say.
"Nah, you're tired," she says as she gets up. "I'm restless. Besides, the market is still open."
"Babe, I'll get it-"
"Honey, I'll be fine," she says. "It's not even that late, just now ten. I'll be back before you know it."
She dresses, then she kisses me.
"I love you," she smiles. "Get some rest."
Rationally, I know that she'll be alright, but there's a part of me that worries. After what happened at the diner, I want to keep her close, but I know that she's safe.
"Be careful," I tell her firmly.
"I will, I promise," she insists. "Go to sleep."
I let exhaustion overtake me.
When I wake up next, it's ten forty, and my cell is ringing, and my heart leaps up into my throat when I see that it's Katniss. She's not back yet, she's not in bed, and I feel sick to my stomach. I know something's wrong deep down in my gut, I know that this night is about to go horribly wrong.
I answer.
"Katty, what's wrong?" I ask.
"Peeta," she says in a shaky voice. "Can you please come downstairs?"
I quickly pull on my pants, and I rush downstairs, but I stop short of the landing when I see that my pregnant wife is being held at gunpoint. She's got tears running down her face, and she's trembling, and I'm afraid that her fear will affect the baby. I immediately put my hands up.
"What do you want?" I ask. "I've got some money-"
Romulus Thread, the man that came into my bakery earlier, only chuckles as two of his buddies hold my wife hostage.
"You think that's what I want, kid?"
"Look, I told you earlier that you're mistaken," I tell him as I come into the living room. "Whoever it is you're looking for, it isn't me."
"Don't give me that bullshit," Romulus says to me as he lights a cigarette.
My heart is racing, and I try to think of what to do.
"Please," I say, looking at Katniss. "She's pregnant, don't you see that? Please, just...let her go. I'll give you whatever you want..."
"Peeta..." She whimpers.
"What I want, is for you to come with me, Petey," he tells me.
"I'm not-"
He draws his own gun and points it at Katniss' head, and she closes her eyes and yelps.
"No! Please..." I beg. "Please..."
"Daddy?"
This is turning into a nightmare.
"Go back to bed, baby girl," I say to Belle. "Mommy will be up there in a minute."
Belle sleepily goes back to her room.
"Your brother wants you back in Philly," Romulus explains to me as he presses the barrel to Katniss' forehead. "Now, you gonna come with me, or you gonna keep fucking with me?"
"Yes, I'll come with you," I say. "Just please let my wife go."
He signals his goons to let go of Katniss, and she rushes to me.
"Oh my God," she cries against me. "Oh God..."
"Babe, babe," I tell her, tilting her head up to look at me. "Listen to me...listen!"
She sniffles and looks at me.
"Go upstairs take the kids into our room and lock the door, okay?" I tell her firmly. "Go."
She nods and she goes upstairs.
I watch her, and I hear Belle questioning her, but she does what I tell her, and when I hear our door close and the lock on it click, I turn to Romulus.
"Alright," I say.
I open up the closet and grab my sweatshirt, then I follow Thread out to his car.
I glance back at my house, my life.
Suddenly, everything shifts, and the next thing I know, I'm bleeding and there are three dead men on my front lawn. The pain in my arm is searing, but I'm otherwise alright, and the gun in my other hand feels heavy, but I like it. Blood is rushing in my ears, and I'm sucking in greedy breaths of air. The sweat is on my forehead, and the blood of other people is on my face. I feel nothing but exhilaration, and I stand up straighter.
It's been a long time, and while I'm being honest with myself, I've got to say I've fucking missed this. I've been holding the memories back since the robbers, but now, it all comes flooding back to me like a fresh wind across the field, and slowly, Panem, my house, my wife, my kids...they're all replaced by blood, the cracking of bones, the sound of a shot gun, the sound of screams...
"Peeta?"
I snap out of it, and I turn and I see Katniss standing on our porch, hands on her belly, and then I remember myself, who I really am, and want to be.
I call the police, and Sheriff Boggs shows up, and he regards me with nothing less than suspicion rather than admiration. I don't expect anything to be otherwise, considering the three dead bodies in suits. Burglars don't usually wear dark suits to their break-ins, so I can't go with that.
Katniss is with the kids.
She told Boggs everything she knows, and now it's my turn.
"Okay," Boggs sighs. "Katniss tells me that those men followed her home, that they tried to rob you and kidnap you for whatever reason..."
"That's exactly what happened," I say calmly.
Boggs' jaw clenches.
"Don't fuck with me, Peeta," he says quietly. "There are three dead known associates of the Irish mob stretched out on your lawn...your family is terrified..."
"Sheriff, those men terrorized my wife," I begin lying emphatically. "They came into my home, and I don't know what the hell they wanted from me, but I wasn't just going to give it to them. I know how this all must look to you."
"I'm glad you understand that," Boggs says. "First you take out two armed robbers, all on your own...then this...I don't know what the hell to think, Peeta."
"I want you to think that this is just a crazy coincidence," I tell him. "I'm not a killer, Boggs. I'm just trying to protect my family. That's all I'm trying to do. I don't know what those people wanted, and I can't help my instincts."
"This is more than just instincts," Boggs says, then he sighs. "But I know you're not a killer. And I understand if you don't want to tell me where those...instincts came from, but...why would known mob associates go to all the trouble for a person who says he's not who they say he is?"
"Like I said, I don't know what they wanted," I tell him. "But it doesn't matter anymore. My family's safe, and that's all that matters to me."
"Right," he says, not believing a word I just said.
With that, he gets up and heads out.
After a couple of hours, the house is quiet again, and Katniss comes downstairs slowly, and I go into the living room just as she sits down on the couch. Her eyes are red from crying, and her lips are in a thin line as she looks at me while I cautiously approach her.
"Katty..." I say in a broken voice, and she looks at me like I'm a stranger, and it kills me. "Katty..."
She shakes her head, then she rushes into the house.
I go into the house, and she's sitting on the couch, stunned.
"Y-you...you killed them," she says.
"Katniss-"
"H-How did you-you..." She closes her eyes and gets her thoughts together. "You just killed three people like it was nothing, Peeta."
"Babe-"
"That was the man from earlier today," she says, her face telling me that she's putting everything together. "He kept calling you Petey...he knew you, Peeta. You were going to go with them...so that means, that you are exactly who he said you were..."
I come closer, but she scoots away.
"No," she huffs. "No...when you killed those robbers, I-I thought that you were just protecting us, that you just...reacted, like you said. But I saw you kill those men, and you had this look on your face like..."
Tears fall down her cheeks, and she sniffles and wipes them away.
"Katty," I say, sitting down on the coffee table. "Please...let me explain."
"God," she cries. "Peeta...or is it Petey? Because the person I saw out there, the person that killed those men, was not my husband. So explain!"
I sigh and rub a hand over my face.
"Okay," I begin. "That man, Romulus Thread...he was right. My name is Petey McCourt. He works for my older brother, Andrew. My brother is in the Irish mob, and I worked for him as an enforcer. Basically, I did the dirty work: collection, injury, murder. My brother taught me everything I know, and I got paid for it. I had no problem with what I did, I even enjoyed it...until Andrew fucked me over. You see, the way I worked was strictly business, taking care of mob business. Nothing personal. So, my brother sent me to kill a jeweler and his wife...told me it was because the cops had turned them, and they were going to testify. Took 'em both out, easy, got paid, got the job done. But then I overhear my brother on the phone one night, and he said, 'Bitch got what she deserved...she shouldn't have gone running back to hubby.' He wanted the wife dead because she was his lover and she burned him. Other than that, they were pretty much innocent, had been loyal to the organization. After that, the job wasn't the same. He made it personal, and after that, I questioned everything he wanted me to do. I couldn't do it anymore. So, I took my money, faked my death, and I disappeared. Until the robbery, of course."
As I talk, Katniss just looks at me, and I can only imagine what she must think of me right now.
"We met when we were twenty," she begins in a shaky voice. "All that stuff you told me when we were dating...about you leaving an abusive home, about how your dad left you some money after he died, all of it...that stuff you told me was a lie?"
"Some of it," I reveal. "My mother was a mean drunk, but my dad handled her. He was high up in the mob, but he and my middle brother were killed in a car crash. My older brother took over from there. The money I had was from my jobs."
Katniss shakes her head, closing her eyes. "Basically, everything I know about you is a lie. Our life, our marriage...it's based on lies."
"Don't say that," I tell her firmly. "I came here because I wanted a new life...it was just supposed to be me. I had no plans to have a family, but then I met you, and I fell so hard for you, babe. You were...are, my new life. I wanted a new life, and you've given me that."
"You're a fucking murderer, Peeta," she hisses. "Oh, sorry, it's Petey, right?"
I comb my fingers through my hair.
"Katniss, please," I beg. "I'm not that person anymore. I-I was just trying to protect you and our kids."
She pushes her hair behind her ears, then she rubs her belly.
"H-how many people did you kill?" She asks. "As Petey McCourt?"
"Forty-five," I confess.
She nods.
"I'm so sorry, babe," I apologize. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen...I just wanted to protect us. That's all. I didn't ask for all this shit to go down. You have to understand...I've had to twice face my only nightmare: losing you and the kids. I just can't let that happen. I'm not ever going to let that happen. If protecting you means I have to be Petey McCourt, just for a little bit, I'm gonna do it, Katty. I love you so much, you and our kids are my life. I'll die before I let anything happen to you. I'm sorry that I lied to you, but our life together is real, it's not a lie."
Katniss doesn't respond, she just gets up and she goes upstairs.
Well, I'm in the doghouse, probably permanently, and I don't blame her. But I don't regret a damn thing. I'd rather her be alive and hate me forever, than the alternative.
I sit on the couch, then I lie back and stare up at the ceiling.
Eventually, I fall into a restless sleep, and before I know it, it's morning.
I sit up slowly, my back popping and readjusting itself.
My arm hurts, but not as badly as it did last night. It's been years since I've last been shot, so the pain almost feels foreign.
The house is bright, and everything is in its place, and it looks as if nothing happened at all, and for a moment, I hope that everything that happened was just a terrible nightmare. But the gunshot wound in my damn arm is telling me that what happened was very real. I replay it all in my head, and the only part that makes my stomach turn is the look on Katniss' face when I told her everything about my old life. The thought that she just might leave me makes me want to die. I can live with a lot of things, but I can't live without her or my children. They are everything to me, my foundation, the good that I can do in the world. They keep the memories away, they keep those shiny memories that try to pull me back into my old world at bay. I have new memories now: Katniss on our wedding day, the birth of my children, this third child coming, my regular customers at the bakery, holidays and parties with friends...my whole life as Peeta Mellark. Petey McCourt is dead.
I sit on the couch for a bit, then I get up and go upstairs.
I walk into my bedroom, and I hear the shower going.
I go into the bathroom, and I see my wife's beautiful body through the steam.
I push my pants off, take off my shirt, then I open up the door. She looks at me as I step in and close the door.
She moves back toward the spray, but I put my hands on her hips and turn her to look at me.
"I love you," I whisper. "I love you. I want you, I want us, Katniss. I chose you the moment I met you."
She looks up at me, still a little pissed at me, but with resolve.
"Is this your way of asking me to forgive you?" She asks.
"Yes," I answer quickly.
She looks away for a moment, then she tilts her head to the side as she looks me up and down, her hands caressing up my chest. She looks into my eyes as she wraps her arms around my neck. I lean down and kiss her, and she presses herself against me. Our kiss is hot, it's needy, and full of promise that we'll be alright.
When she pulls away, one of her hands finds its way to my dick, and I groan as she strokes me.
"You belong to me," she whispers against my lips. "You're mine. My Peeta..."
"Always, babe," I tell her before claiming her lips.
Our sex is explosive, and we're both dizzy and in need of air afterward.
We dress, then we wake up our babies, and our day begins.
Boggs doesn't ask me any more questions, and things slowly begin to get back to normal.
After a couple of weeks, I open up the bakery again, and it's flooded with customers.
Katniss is in her sixth month of pregnancy now, and she's doing well. We're better than ever, and I'm thankful that she still wants me. She hasn't questioned us since, and I'm happier than I've ever been.
Tonight, we're having dinner over Haymitch's house, and while the kids play in the field, we play cards, and Katniss and his new girlfriend, Effie, socialize over cooking inside.
"What an exciting life you lead," he says to me. "Criminals just love you, don't they?"
"I'd rather not talk about it, thank you," I chuckle. "Besides, it's all over and done with, so..."
My cellphone rings, and I pick it up and look at the number.
It's a Philadelphia area code.
I guess I spoke too soon.
I can't believe I'm back here...
Philadelphia looks and smells different to me, even though I grew up here. I remember the streets like the back of my hand, I remember the buildings, and the neighborhood...and yet, I don't feel at home. How can I when my life is miles away in Panem?
This, Philly, is the dream, not Panem, and it's funny, 'cause it used to be the other way around.
When the idea of disappearing first entered my head, I didn't think I'd last as long as I have. I figured it was worth a try, and I certainly never thought of anything permanent. I toyed with the idea for months, contemplating whether or not it'd be worth it to leave the only home I know. Philly had wrapped itself around me like a blanket, and I was afraid of getting cold. I could have cared less about getting caught or killed. I was afraid of what making a new home would look like for me. I never imagine that I'd have what I have now.
I'd do it again, just to have Katniss.
She's worth everything, even being considered a coward for running.
I make my way through the city and eventually to the outskirts, to Capitol Estates, where the well-to-do live.
The house is bigger than I remember, but I know it's the right one.
I turn into the drive, and I park behind another car.
It's late, but the lights are on inside, so I know that he's home.
The guards outside let me into the house, and I go upstairs to the study.
"I'm here."
Andrew turns to me, a slight grin on his face.
"Long time, no see, little brother."
"Yeah," I say as his men close the door, and then converge on me.
I think about my life, about Katniss and how utterly gorgeous she is, and my children, about how they're so perfect, and-
End
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