Disclaimer: I own nothing, if I did I would've never broke Rory and Logan up.
Songs: All or Nothing by O-town, Gravity by John Mayer
Summary: Rory and Logan broke up after she turns him down on his proposal. Three years later they meet again. Fires rekindle but Logan isn't exactly single…
Chapter 1- You said forever
There he stood; she could tell he was nervous. It has always been one of his habits where he digs his hands deeper into his pocket to keep it from getting expressive. His voice was starting to shake as he waited for the answer she would give. It was just like the time when they went through the hay bale maze. They could've either choose to go left or right. She could either say yes or no. Maybe he's been with her too long that he himself adapted to rambling. He's been going on about his own graduation, how he was tipsy and grabbed Marcia Hadley, who was so not the person to grab.
I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's gotta give
A share in this relationship gets older, older
Finally finding her voice she interrupted him, "Logan." She paused; this was really hard, "I'm sorry. I can't. I love you. You know how much I love you. I love the idea of being married to you. But…there are just a lot of things in my life right now that are undecided, which use to scare me, but now I kind of like that it's all wide open. And if I married you, it just wouldn't be." He could feel his eyes getting red and tears forming. So this was how a heartbreak felt.
You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight
someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of
you I don't care if that's not fair
"So, what? I move to San Francisco, you stay back east, and we see each other occasionally?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing; this was the first woman who he has ever loved. When he bought the ring, he didn't think that she would say no. Hell, he even researched everything from the house he would buy to the paper she would love working in. But what went wrong? He meant it when he told her that he wants to be with her and that he wanted to factor her into his life.
'Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
"Well, we can try long distance. We've done it before." All Rory wanted was to be with him without actually being there with him.
There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it, show it
Then there's times you look at me
As thought I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't believe its right I know it, know it
"You really think that would work?" He hated doing that; he hated to be away from her. The last time they had a long distance relationship was a year ago when he had to leave Hartford to travel to London. Unlike the last time, he didn't have a time limit.
Don't make me promises baby you never did
know how to keep them well
I had the rest of you now I want the best
of you it's time to show and tell
"I think it would be hard, but-" Rory started to say but was cut off.
"I don't want to do that, Rory. I don't want to move backwards. If we can't take the next step…" He didn't want her to be his girlfriend; he wanted her as his wife. He wanted to see his ring on her finger, to claim that she's his, to call her his fiancé when men hits on her, to have children and grow old together.
"What?" She felt stupid; here he was saying that he want to further their relationship and all she could provide him with was a one word question.
"It's just…" He didn't know what to say.
"Does it have to be all or nothing?" Damn O-town song.
'Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
"Yeah it does." He didn't want to pressure her, but if she wasn't ready for the next step, would she ever be? If she didn't choose him now, would she ever choose him later? What difference does now and then make?
"We could try." She's losing him; she knew it before it even happened. Here in Connecticut is where her life is, if she moved to San Francisco with him, where would she be?
'Cuz you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
Nowhere inside for me in your life
"What's the point?" He's giving up, he's tired of being in a relationship without the other person feeling the same way. Maybe she did feel the same, but no the way he did. This scared him, he never felt anything stronger for any other girls. Rory wasn't just some other girls; she was "the girl" for him. But after today, he wasn't sure whether she would still be his.
"So…" She's letting him down.
'Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
It's now or never
"So…" He wonders what her next move would be. She lifted up her cap and gown sleeve and reached inside. When he looked at her left hand he saw the same blue velvet box he had picked out from the clerks two weeks ago. After a long silence, he takes it from her. Breathing one last breath he makes the decision of having her out of his life, "Goodbye, Rory." And that's what he did.
This time she knew she screwed it up. Over the years when she was still with him, they have been on and off. They broke up over the fact that he wanted no strings, after the big fight with Jess and finding out that he slept with Honor's bridesmaid. She walked away from him, but he always came back to her, asking for forgiveness. This time it was different, instead of her, he had been the one to walk away from their relationship.
Is it all
Or nothing at all
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
For the past hour the phone has been ringing. Like every time it rang, he ignored it. He wasn't in any mood to talk to anyone. "Just leave me alone!" He screamed out, particularly to no one, maybe it was the phone.
Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Thank god the ringing has finally stopped, but instead it was replaced with a frantic knocking on his door. Setting down his seventh beer bottle, he stumbled into the hallways and answered the door. Outside stood a tall blond woman in her late twenties.
"Why haven't you answered my calls?" She crossed her arms against her chest. "My god what is that smell?" She stepped into his apartment and sat down right on the couch.
Oh I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away
"Honor?" His vision wasn't clear, blame it on alcohol.
"Who else would it be little brother?' His older sister, Honor, was the only person he was ever close to in his family. "Are you drunk?"
"Maybe." He was in that state of mood where he doesn't know whether or not he was sober or drunk. What was she doing here?
Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
"Oh god, what would Rory say-" She started to say.
"Honor." He called out her name trying to get her to stop talking about her.
"- does she know you're drunk. What-" She continued as if she didn't hear him.
"Honor." He said once again.
Oh twice as much ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees
"-are you doing here? Should you be out there celebrating with her? Did she say y-" She got cut off.
"We broke up, ok!" He hadn't meant to scream, it was just hearing her name made him miss her all over again.
Oh twice as much ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees
"What do you mean you guys broke up?" She was outraged at what she was hearing. "What did you do this time?" She didn't want to point him out but come on; she knew how much of a Casanova her brother is. Every time, they had been his fault.
Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better men than me (Now how can that be?)
"Why do you think it's me this time that did it?" Again he yelled, "Why couldn't it be her?" He questioned. "She was the one who broke up with me, she didn't want to be with me, she didn't want to go to San Francisco with me, and most importantly she didn't want to marry me." He did the one thing he hadn't done since he was nine; he covered his face with his hands and broke down to cry.
Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Keep you all where the light is
Just keep us where the light is
Ohh.. where the light is!
"Oh Logan, it'll be okay." She got up and sat next to him, giving him a long hug and whispered comforting words.
"You know what sucks?" The tears stopped falling, when he saw Honor shaking her head he continued, "I really love her and I'm going to miss her for a long time. No other girls can stand up to par, when compared to her, because she's special to me."
Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Keep you all where the light is
Just keep us where the light is
Ohh.. where the light is!
"How are you doing, honey?" Lorelai had asked her. After her graduation, Rory and she had been moving her boxes out of the apartment she once shared with Paris and Doyle.
Rory didn't know if her mom was talking about the exercise they were doing carrying the boxes up and down the stairs (Gilmore Girls don't exercise) or was she talking about Logan? "Oh…okay." She answered, but in reality she wasn't.
"Yeah?" Lorelai didn't sound convinced, her daughter was the worst liar there ever was.
"Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm not okay, I feel awful. I feel sick. I miss him already." There she said it. But it didn't help her feel much better. Her first adult relationship gone down the drain after 3 years.
"I know." Lorelai knew what she meant. She had felt the same way with Christopher. It was just last month when they got their papers signed. It took five months of their time and marriage to realize he was not the one for her. She was glad that they were on their way back to becoming friends. Even though they couldn't be with each other, he gave her the best gift she ever had, her twenty two year old Ivy League graduate daughter, Rory.
"And it sucks, you know, because I graduated today. This was supposed to be a happy day in my life, and now every time I look back on it, I'm going to think of this horrible thing that happened." She just wished that he hadn't been in such a hurry about proposing to her. Here she was, just fresh out of college and wanting to pursue her dreams. If he waited for a couple of years to ask her, she would've been ready.
"I'm sorry. But I think you made the right decision." There wasn't much she could say but support her daughter in which open doors she decides to go into.
"You do?" Rory sounded hopeful, at least she knew one person who wouldn't be mad at her for rejecting Logan.
"I do. One day, you'll meet someone, and you'll just know that it's right. You won't want to hesitate." Just like how Christopher wasn't the one for her.
"I hope so." In truth Rory knew that Logan was the right guy for her. She knew ever since she told her mom when they vacationed at Martha's Vineyard with Logan and her mom's then boyfriend, Luke. But the timing was just wrong.
I really do believe it." Though her words comforted her, she couldn't help but think what her grandparents- mostly her grandmother- would say about her decision.
"Lorelai, Rory, it's such a pleasure to have you for dinner tonight." Emily leaned to kiss both girls on their cheeks. Stepping back, she led them to the living room.
"What are you talking about Mom? We come here for dinner." Lorelai stated, something's up with Emily and she knew it by spending the first sixteen years under the wrath of the Emily Gilmore.
"Well yes, but today is a Tuesday." It wasn't that she didn't like their traditional Friday night dinners. No that wasn't the point. She wished she never made that mistake of not getting to know who her daughter was; all she cared about was the country club and the Gilmore reputation. But fate has given her a chance when Lorelai knocked on her door six years ago asking them to help pay for Rory's education at Chilton.
Friday night dinners were a way of saying "thank you" to her parents for supporting Rory throughout these years with Chilton and Yale. Now that her granddaughter has finished off with college, Emily couldn't help but think if this would be their last dinner together. Lorelai wouldn't really need her anymore; dinner was the only excuse she had to see her girls. This reminded her of the time when Trix, her mother in law, came to visit and offered an inheritance to Lorelai and Rory, but later took back.
"Hey grandpa." Rory greeted her grandfather on the couch. He was reading the newspaper and drinking scotch on rocks.
"Why hello Rory, Lorelai." Richard folded his papers and set them down on the coffee table. "Would you girls like something to drink?" Hearing a club soda from Rory and an olive martini from Lorelai, he stood up to fetch them.
"So, Rory," Emily folded her hands elegantly on her knees, "did you give Logan an answer yet?" She anticipated to know, this was the only boyfriend of Rory's that she ever approved of. He is of high society, heir to the Huntzberger fortune and a Yale graduate. The other boys were just not right for her granddaughter. Dean was a grocery stock boy and Jess was a rebel who had once came to their dinner with a black eye.
"Yeah. I have- Oh thanks grandpa." She said when her grandpa handed her drink to her. "I said no." She watched as her grandma's smile disappears into a frown.
"But he's a Huntzberger!" This was Emily's excuse; she always thought people with the richest status were the best ones. Therefore, after she found out Rory was dating the heir of the Huntzberger fortune she was, hands-down, agreeing to every bit of their relationship. Logan had everything, the looks, the charm, the wealth and the manners. Now that they've broken up, it's just…just preposterous.
"Now Emily, calm down a bit." Richard tried calming down his wife. He knew Emily would overreact to the news; she always did, like the time when Lorelai announced her and Chris's separation.
"Calm down? You think I can calm down?" Emily spat at her husband, "I've had wedding books picked out and a list of people for Rory and Logan to invite to their wedding, and now that I know there is not even going to be a wedding or an engagement party. How do you think I'm going to feel." She stopped for a second to sip her Shirley Temple. "Now I guess I won't have a blond hair blue eyed great grandchild. Just great."
"I'm sorry grandma, I really am." That was all Rory can say. She didn't know how much of an impact their break up can be. There was a long silence following the four sitting in the living room.
"So… when is dinner?" Lorelai asked to lighten up the mood. She received looks from Rory and her parents. "What?"
Yep…dinner is going along just fine…