Dear Lily,
I still can't believe that you're gone. Sixteen years. That's how pathetic I am. It kills me to admit it, but I could never change. Not even for you, my love. I'll always be the Slime-Ball who called you 'that'. I'm sorry Lily. For everything. Our whole world's in ruins, and there's nothing I can do. I've tried Lily. Remember that. I've tried. I tried to convince the Dark Lord that he had the wrong people. That you had nothing to do with it. I tried to stop him from coming back. Tried to tell Dumbledore Harry needed him. Tried to protect him. The last of you. His eyes. He has your eyes. And now Dumbledore's gone, and there's nobody here for him. What good am I? What good have I ever been to anyone? I can't do anything. The Dark Lord has made up his mind. He wants him dead Lily! There's no point in even trying anymore. He can't go. You never deserved it, nor does he. I need you, Lily. I'm so sorry. For everything. I wish you could forgive me, maybe then I could forgive myself. I don't think I could live with the guilt. I want to save him, believe me, I do! But I don't know how. Tell me how Lily. How to make it up to you, how to help Harry. To win this war. This stupid war. I hate it! I should have listened to you. I should have been stronger, tried harder. Maybe then you would still be here. I wish you were here. I'm weak Lily. I have been, ever since that day. I can still remember it. Still feel the regret, the heartbreak. And I feel it when I look at him. I feel like he was my way of making it up to you, but I've failed at that too. I hope he's got your brains somewhere. because he'll need it. Like I needed you. Like I still need you now. It's selfish I know, but I don't care. Like the Dark Lord doesn't care, didn't care. Never cared about the lives he ruins, and never will. You see, I'm not as bad as you thought. Just not good enough for you. And I never was. I can see that now. You never deserved somebody like me.
Maybe Harry will survive. I hope he survives. Maybe I'll be lucky for once, and I'll get what I want. I'll get to be with you Lily. If all else fails, I have you. I've never asked for punishment before. But I want it now, more than ever. I want harry to win, and when I know he's safe, that I've done all I could, I'll be with you. I'm going to do what's right, for you Lily. For your son. I promise. For now my love, farewell.
Severus