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After Moira had woken up alone in her apartment. After she had met with her bosses. After she was sent away for more tests then she would have thought feasible. Then Levene showed her the tapes.
At first Moira had found the conclusions that her partner and supervisors had drawn impossible to believe. That a...man could make her forget months of her life. The few facts they did know - that she had joined some kind of secret taskforce, that she had worked alongside people with incredible and unbelievable gifts. It sounded...well, it sounded ridiculous.
Levene had to describe the meeting - where Charles Xavier had read minds and Raven Darkhölme had transformed into Agent Stryker. Then he showed her security footage of the hallway outside the meeting room. Where Levene froze at the water fountain as Moira looked around, apparently talking to herself.
"You said that he contacted you." Levene explained. "That somehow you communicated telepathically."
The second was in the parking lot and showed Moira driving to fetch the mutants and the mystery agent.
"I lost you after that. You told me you had to do something important and to try and keep McCone off your back." He continued, a touch of reprimand that he didn't really mean. Levene was used to Moira running off on her own and leaving him to run crowd control. It worked well that way and Levene knew it. He was good with people, good at smoothing down riled up supervisors and reassuring concerned citizens. Moira was good at jumping into a dangerous situation feet first and wangling her way out of it at the last opportunity.
"And you didn't see me until last week?"
"No, I did see you one other time. We went on a mission to Russia."
"I went to Russia?" Moira blinked, stomach churning as the entire situation became even more unsettling. To forget a few conversations was one thing, but to forget weeks of her life and covert operations abroad was an entirely different beast.
Levene explained that they had picked up a new recruit by this point, someone called Erik Lehnsherr who could apparently control metallic substances. "I didn't really see his powers in action though. Xavier managed to make our team invisible somehow, he said it was an illusion he made them believe."
"And I didn't tell you what had happened?"
"You gave me a rundown, but nothing more than I've already been able to tell you. That you got involved in recruiting mutants and hunting down a guy who was trying to kill humans."
Moira hummed, pressing her cold fingers to her lips. "McCone filled me in as much as he could about Cuba." And about how she had stood defending the mutants only to be nearly killed by one for her troubles. She still had the mark around her neck from where Lehnsherr tried to strangle her when they'd had that conversation.
The agency continued to ask her questions about what happened on that beach, regardless of the well known fact that she couldn't remember any of it. It seemed inconceivable to anyone, Moira included, that this could actually happen.
"Well you have all the information that I do on that. I didn't see you again until you called me over to your apartment."
Nodding, Moira kept pressing Levene for more details although he could never find anything new to tell her. She said it was so she could understand, to try and piece together the case so they could work out if the threat still existed. What she was really waiting for was something, anything, that would trigger a memory and help her to remember. Something more than flashes of light and a kiss.
The kiss disturbed her more than she cared to admit. And not because her bosses had immediately jumped on one of her few remaining impressions of those missing months as a way to further undermine her. Her memories from the Hellfire Club were still there. She knew that mutants existed and she knew that Xavier was apparently the foremost expert on them. That was why, according to her application for travel, she had flown to Oxford to meet with him.
The extent of his powers, demonstrated to her through the tapes and Levene's descriptions, painted a portrait of a very powerful being. One who had no problem altering people's perceptions, communicating telepathically, wiping months of memories away - and certainly had no reservations about using that ability. She remembered the emotion behind the kiss and knew how deeply she had cared for him. How badly had her judgement been impaired that she had fallen for someone who apparently had no qualms about invading her mind, the one part of her that should be hers alone.
Had her feelings even been genuine? Did she have free will during that time?
When she was alone she questioned everything. Her motives, the people she had gone with, her instincts, her thoughts.
At work she needed to keep her head high and walk the corridors confidently otherwise she risked having her job pulled out from beneath her. Her superiors eventually accepted that she remembered very little of what had happened. The tests had shown there was no brain damage and coupled with their knowledge of Xavier's abilities, the conclusion was drawn that she would never remember. With that acceptance, however, Moira found that all of her hard work establishing a position for herself at the CIA appeared to have been undone. Even though she hadn't exactly gotten people to like her before there had been a level of begrudging respect. She'd proven herself multiple times to be capable of more than secretarial work. But now wherever she went there were whispers. About the hormonal woman who had fallen in love with a mutant.
She was shunned by most of her colleagues, but then that wasn't really new. Now, instead of listening to the run of the mill sexist jabs, she got a little variety by having her every decision questioned because her mind didn't work properly. Because she was damaged. Levene stood by her like he had since they'd first been partnered up, and he always jumped up to defend her. Levene who was now in the unique position of being one of the few people to meet Charles Xavier who both remembered it and was still alive.
With time she could restore her credibility among the ranks, as long as she didn't show any more weakness. And Levene's long winded speeches about her patriotism and bravery, which arose whenever Moira got a snide comment by another agent, couldn't hurt. Except a month later they would still just laugh and say she was protecting freaks.
Time passed. Her paranoia settled but the CIA's didn't.
"I've decided to pull you and Levene off the case." McCone said, slapping the file she had just delivered back onto the desk after a polite glance. They'd been investigating a man with potential communist affiliations for the past three weeks.
"But sir," Moira started," we've nearly closed it."
"I think you would be better suited to a different assignment."
"Sir."
"Especially after what you went through. To be frank MacTaggert, we've been discussing it and we think it would be in your best interest to take a leave of absence."
She tried to speak again but he cut her off. "Just take a few months."
He tried to cut her off yet again when she opened her mouth but she spoke over him. "I'm perfectly capable of doing my job."
"It's nothing to be ashamed of Moira." He said in the same tone he reserved for the secretaries.
"I never said I was ashamed."
"Of course not. But…" He paused and took a minute, leaning back in his chair and forming a temple with his fingers. "Given what you went through we thought it would be appropriate for you to have some time off. To help you deal with your feelings."
"I have no feelings about what happened, sir. I don't remember it."
"You never know. Some R&R might help you with your memory loss." McCone said, trying to pretend that he was doing this for her benefit.
She took a deep breath. "Sir, don't drop us off this case."
"I'm sorry Moira, but I really think it's for the best."
She was costing Levene his career with all this bullshit. Every time they got anything close to a half decent case it would be snatched away from them before they could close it. And they always used the excuse that it was because she wasn't in her right mind.
Levene never complained, he would grouch about McCone and the rest of the CIA for how they treated her. He wouldn't complain about her or request a new partner. He liked working with Moira and Moira liked working with him. She liked being his friend and having dinner with him and his wife on the weekends. She liked having someone around that she could actually trust. Someone who didn't think she was weak. But she couldn't keep working like this. And she couldn't allow Levene to be punished for his loyalty to her.
"I didn't want to have to do this." Moira said, shaking her head. "I'd hoped if I stuck it out things would improve, but I see now they never will. I am an excellent agent. And one day when you realise what an ass you are, you're really going to regret this."
McCone's genial expression abruptly fell away with her words and the scowl she was more comfortable with reappeared. "Now look here MacTaggert..."
"You have left me no other choice. You can leave Levene on the case. I quit."
Pulling her jacket back she removed her gun from its holster and pulled her badge from her belt. She set them on his desk.
"Moira," he said with a smile as she stood. "You don't have to quit. I told you we'll give you leave. Paid leave. And you can come back as soon as you feel ready. We'd have to ease you back in of course, maybe put you on desk duty for a little while…"
She shook her head. When she had been made an agent she had hoped that things would finally be easier, that she wouldn't have to work twice as hard as everyone else to get half as much respect. And yet no matter how much she sacrificed, she knew now that she never would.
Not confident that she would be able to refrain from calling McCone worse than an ass if she continued to speak, Moira turned swiftly on her heel and walked out. McCone half-heartedly called after her, but she had no doubt her resignation would be met by more celebrations than regrets.
Making her way into the break room she collected her bag and purse, stopped by HR and then made her way straight to the parking garage. There was nothing important at her desk and she wouldn't give the other guys the satisfaction of seeing her pack up her stuff. She was going to be better than they ever would.
She just didn't know how yet.
She'd talk to Levene later, he'd gone home already but she wanted to call him before McCone did. He deserved to hear about her decision instead of just getting a blunt notice from the agency saying he'd have a new partner by next Monday.
As she shoved her key in the lock of her car she found herself pausing for a moment, her anger ebbing away. Taking a deep breath, Moira tried not to panic. She was more than qualified for plenty of jobs, and maybe this time she could find one without so much bullshit.
Yanking open the door she threw her bag onto the backseat. A voice stopped her before she could get in.
"Moira MacTaggert."
Her name wasn't a question, but rather a statement.
Turning she spied a tall man, darkened by the shadow of the stone pillar he leaned against. Her eyes quickly spied four men evenly spread out around him, hands behind their backs in the picture of obedience.
"Yes?"
Stepping forward the man shot her a tight lipped smile. "My name is Nick Fury. Tell me. What do you know about S.H.I.E.L.D?"