Sometimes it pays to be careful what you wish for. Darcy Lewis learned this lesson the hard way one sunny Wednesday afternoon. It was a day in the lab/ Jane's mom's basement(because Jane refused to be held down by the man aka shield when they'd offered her a full lab at an undisclosed research facility back in the states and Tony Stark personally irked her for some odd reason Darcy was not privy to, yet) like any other. Jane was feverishly working on Science! while Darcy spun in steady circles in her rolly chair and monitored the thinga-ma-bob (she forgot the name) like Jane had told her to. She was feeling kind of blah-ish to be honest.
Thor, her appointed soap opera buddy, was currently off world at some sort of alien peace summit ("It's actually an annual council, Lady Darcy"), Eric was somewhere deep within the bowls of shield (the traitor. Ok not really, she just really missed him.), and she'd dumped Ian after he'd gotten obsessive and weird (planning future children after two weeks of dating and waking up to find your boyfriend, who you hadn't even gotten past kissing yet, holding a piece of glass under your nose to see if you're still breathing was just plain freaky).
Not to mention Jane had been on her science bender for almost 72 hrs straight. The woman had fallen asleep with half a pop-tart hanging from her open mouth. By the time she snapped back awake, a mere 5 minutes later, the pop-tart had fallen into her lap and she was muttering theories and equations to herself. Now that was dedication. So yeah, Darcy was feeling a little strained. She didn't have Jane's manic brilliance to fuel her. Not everyone could survive on science and pop-tart fumes.
And she was sooo bored. She really wished something exciting would happen. Usually she found ways to entertain herself during epic feats of science-osity, but she was tapped out. She'd streamed as much reality TV as she could before her feebled mind threw in the towel. And she promised Thor she wouldn't watch the next episode of their favorite soap without him(the father of Sylvia's baby was about to be revealed in the next episode but Thor's council thingy got in the way of their plans, booo). She'd listened to her myriad number of playlists on her phone (she never did get that ipod back...). She'd baked more muffins than her, Jane, and Jane's mom could eat in a month.
"Hey boss lady, when's Thor touching back down? It's not that I don't love your science montages and overall astrophysical badassery, but I think your hair growled at me when I brought you coffee earlier. How about a shower..., and a nap..., and some food you'd use an actual fork to eat?"
Jane mumbled something unintelligible and kept writing out calculations. Darcy sighed. It looked like she was going to have to shock her out of her science stupor.
"Oh Janey?"
"Meh." Jane answered.
"What is it about Tony Stark that bothers you so much?" Jane's head snapped up. Oh yeah, that did it. "Don't ask. He's an ass, that's all you need to know." Then she went right back to her work. Darcy shrugged. Eh, you win some you lose some she thought.
She started twirling a roll of duct tape around her wrist and debating either wrangling Jane into a shower and proper nap or making an epic sword out of tape and printer paper so she could play battle Thor when he got back, when the ceiling burst in. The fucking. Ceiling. Burst in. Before she could think about it, she was across the room pulling Jane up from her chair and dragging her over to the little closet with the door cleverly disguised as a book shelf. First she yanked a long strip of duct tape off the roll still around her wrist and wrapped it around Jane's mouth and hair. Then she pulled the hidden latch, wrapped more tape around Jane's wrists, and pushed her inside.
"Stay here, don't say anything; there's not enough room for the both of us. I've got this boss lady, they want you not me," Darcy shot her a wink before she shut the door on Jane's muffled protests, her bound hands struggling to rip the offending tape from her mouth. She really hoped Jane forgave her for the haircut she'd most likely have to get later. Shorter hair was way better than torture and an agonizingly slow death though.
Turning to face the room, she moved a little bit closer to the stairs to make it seem like she'd been making a run for it. Someone in tactical gear dropped in through the hole, a shocker baton at the ready. Darcy recognized it because she'd considered getting one for herself after the whole dark elves thing. And Ian. But she'd decided to modify her taser instead. It was easier fitting a palm sized taser inside her purse than a big freakin shock baton anyway. She whipped it out glad to have had the foresight to have kept it in her hoodie pocket. She could have sworn she heard a disbelieving chuckle coming from tacti-jerk across the room but she was too busy counting the number of threateningly dressed people rappelling in through the ceiling. Huh, five. Including one giant dude with a metal arm. A fucking metal arm. This would not end well. She took out two in the first 2 minutes (ha, video games Did build faster reflexes). But after she turned on metal man (take out the biggest bitch in the yard and the rest will follow) her taser backfired on her, shocking them both. She was right she thought as everything went black, it didn't end well. Her last coherent memory was the taser sliding from her slack fingers.
It was an hour later by the time Jane was found and released from the closet, red faced and flustered with bits of tape stuck to her face and hair.
She looked into the face of the man who rescued her, then promptly slapped it. "You're alive?!"
Phil Coulson rubbed the hand shaped spot newly imprinted on his face, raising his other hand to the Asian woman in the corner of the room who'd started to advance. "No, May I think I kind of had that coming. Though I think maybe Fury deserved the brunt of it. Yes Dr. Foster, I am alive, my death was largely exaggerated. But that is not what's pertinent at the moment. Can you tell me what happened here? Shield had your lab monitored but the main video feed was cut shortly after the ceiling caved in. Our tech specialist is working to retrieve the footage from a secondary feed."
Jane was shaking with fear and anger. How could she? How could Darcy just sacrifice herself like that? For her, when she barely paid her any attention on the best of days. Her, when at times she'd looked at Darcy with exasperation when her mouth got ahead of her at some of the most awkward times. She wished Darcy and her mouth were there right then, she'd really have something to say about Agent Coulson's resurrection. Jane burst into tears.
When Thor arrived through the hole in the ceiling moments later, it was understandable why the sound of a fast approaching storm could be heard outside and why his hammer crackled with electricity. His lady was distraught and threatened, in the presence of a man thought dead. He pointed his hammer at him and the woman wrapped in shadows and death that accompanied him. "Unhand my lady wraith, or face the consequences. How dare you wear the face of a treasured friend? You will pay surely."
Snapping out of her hysteria, Jane put her hands up and ran to Thor. "No it's really him Thor. Its ok, shield just covered it up. Like usual."
Immediately Thor calmed, his face lit in a smile. "Ah, then our comrade in arms has returned to us from Fólkvangr. This is a reason to celebrate and be merry, why do you cry so Jane?"
Jane curled into Thor's chest. "They took Darcy Thor. When the ceiling blew she duct taped my mouth shut and shoved me into the closet. She wouldn't come in with me. She said there wasn't enough room, but there was! She sacrificed herself, let herself get captured, to protect me. They were looking for me!"
A sudden and fierce lightning storm burst into existence on an otherwise sunny day in London.