A/N: Dedciated to my good friend Rona, love you Ducky! I hope you enjoy this. However, I do apologise for any errors and stuff I've been looking after a toddler all day and my brain has still got the bloody Topsy and Tim/Our Family theme tune going through my head. I have to do it all day again tomorrow.
Peace out my fellow readers, love you all xx
It had been a long day for all the detectives at Syndicate 9 they finally managed to solve the murder of a ten-year-old one case that had really hit home to Janet and Gill being mum's themselves the idea of their child/children being taken from them made them feel quite sick. They arrived in the pub where they were ready to drink their thoughts away, Rachel walked over to the bar and ordered herself, Gill and Janet a large bottle of red wine whilst Mitch ordered the lads pints of beer. A few hours later, alcohol in their bloodstream they were sat around the table laughing, trying to make light of an awful day.
"Waaaaay-heeeey!" shouted a voice that could be heard from the whole pub. That voice was even in her hazy drunk state familiar to Rachel, "get an eye full of these!" Sharon Bailey shouted and Rachel rubbed her forehead and turned her face away as she knew exactly what she her mother was doing, "I'm lovin' ya and leavin' ya," Sharon laughed as she pulled out a cigarette from the box. However, she stopped and pushed it back in when she saw the group of coppers sat the table, "stop hidin' your head away Rachel Bailey I can see you from here," Sharon stumbled over to her daughter, "don't you wanna introduce me to all your copper pals?" Sharon winked at Pete and he turned his head away to talk to Mitch.
"No, I really don't," Rachel replied her face red with embarrassment, "go home mum you're embarrassing yourself," Rachel raised an eyebrow but Sharon didn't move, "seriously mum I've had a pretty shit day I don't need you flashing your tits at anyone here."
"You need to loosen up a bit Rachel, get dancing!" Sharon tried to pull her daughter up but Rachel pushed the chair out and walked away from her, "come on Rach it's our Alison's who's the sensible one...you're more like me. Get a glimpse of your future chicken as this," Sharon pointed to herself, "is where you'll be."
As she walked away from her drunken mother Rachel had unintentionally made her way over to Gilll, the brunette jumped when she felt Gill's hand squeeze hers as a sign of reassurance, "I'm nothing like you. In fact, I'm the complete opposite!"
"You're doomed Rachel your dad was a depressed pisshead," Sharon the fiddled in her bag for the box of cigarettes, "never wanted you kids anyway...you're ungrateful the whole lot of you. Our Alison treats me like shit, you stand there all high and mighty because you're a police officer. just don't forget where you came from."
"Trust me it's really hard not to forget when my history is stood right in front of me," Rachel had that twinkle in her brown eyes, the twinkle of tears and her voice was trying to not to crack, "you spent most of my life down the pub, leaving our Alison to take care of me and our Dom!"
"You're nothing Rachel...you're a product of me and your father. Which is exactly where you're heading," Sharon in her high heels walked further towards her daughter, "he was nothing and you're nothing...you can't even keep a relationship for more than five seconds, remind you anyone?" Sharon laughed at the tears that were threatening to spill out of her daughter's eyes, "never mind eh?"
Janet stood up and walked around to Rachel who was just about keeping it together. Maybe it was to do with the murder of the ten-year-old or the fact she would never speak to Elise or Taisie like Sharon was to Rachel. Whatever it was Janet felt that need to protect Rachel, she put her arm around her and then faced the drunk Sharon Bailey, "Sharon I think you better go...one of us - Kevin, will call you a cab," Janet moved her eyes to Kevin and his grew wide, "won't you Kevin?"
"I was off anyway," Sharon zipped her coat up and got her lighter out of her pocket, "your future Rachel just remember that," Sharon waved goodbye to her daughter unaware of how much she had hurt her daughter.
"Jesus Rach, are you ok?" Mitch asked his colleague as he saw the hurt on her face and in her eyes, "Pete get her a drink on me," he handed the larger bloke next to him a tenner, "are you alright?"
Rachel pulled her hair back and breathed in heavily, "I'm fine," she exhaled and shook her head, "I'm fine...I'm used to it."
Gill got off the chair she was sat on and stood up in front of Rachel then in a soft voice nobody had heard before Gill spoke, "Don't listen to anything she said kid," the short yet terrifying brunette pointed her finger in front of Rachel's face to show she was serious, "your future is right here," Gill circled around all the detectives that were sat at the table, "with us...your mother has no clue what she's talking about," Gill pushed Rachel down on the chair and then moved aside so Pete could give her the drink he got with the money Mitch had given him.
"Here," Pete put the glass of red wine in front of Rachel and he handed the change back to Mitch.
"Rachel slow down," Mitch warned his colleauge after he witnessed Rachel grab the glass and knock back the red wine that was in large glass. Within seconds she waspouring herself another glass with the bottle she had bought earlier.
"She's right your place is in MIT Rach," Janet sorted out her friend's hair as she saw some of it was out of place, "don't listen to what your mum said," Janet squeezed her hand comfortingly but Rachel grabbed the glass and chucked it back, "slow down," she grabbed the glass and took it off her the young detective who was going to be ridicously drunk by the end of the night.
Rachel swallowed a lump in her throat and then looked at Janet, "Why is it when our Alison warned me about her I didn't listen?" she asked as she leant her head on the table, "why is it every time she speaks she's correct? And I'm just the stupid little sister who can't do anything right?!" she pushed her head up and covered her eyes to stop everyone seeing her cry, "I need to go home."
"I think I best get you back to mine," Janet picked her handbag off the floor and got her phone out to warn her mother they'll have company, "I'm not happy leaving you on your own like this."
After saying their goodbyes and thank you's Janet and Rachel left the pub. Janet was holding onto Rachel's arm to stop her from falling the weather was bad with an icy cold breeze in the air, "How is it I'm such a fuck up?" she asked her best friend. Janet guided Rachel to a wall and then waited with her for a taxi that would take them back to her house, "Why, why, why did I let her back in?" Rachel hit her head against the brick wall carefully but enough to make her feel better, "she has done nothing but ruin my fucking life Janet!"
"Because Rachel you're a human being and no matter how awful Sharon is to you she's still your mum," Janet felt Rachel lean her head on her shoulder, "I know chicken, I know," Janet affectionately tapped Rachel's cheek before rubbing her hand up and down her arm to keep her warm.
Dorothy opened the door and was shocked to see the state her daughter's best friend was in. As she stepped aside Janet guided Rachel down the hallway and leant her against a wall, "Mum can you get a bucket and glass of water?" Janet asked as she took off her coat and hooked it up on the coat hooks.
"What's happened?" Dorothy asked as she saw the tears rolling down Rachel's cheeks and for once she seemed geniunely concerned. Janet didn't reply as she was busy guiding her friend into the sitting room, "Janet?" Dorothy pushed for an answer.
"Sharon," Janet finally answered as she helped her friend take off her coat and take her shoes off, "we were in the pub and Rachel's mother came over and started making some rather vile comments," Janet then looked over to her friend and saw she was trying to hold back tears, "oh Rachel it's ok," Janet pushed herself up off the floor and walked over to the brunette who was looking close to tears. Janet lowered herself down next to her friend and turned Rachel's head to face her, as she looked she could see tears rolling down Rachel's cheeks, "oh," Janet stroked her cheek and then pulled her into a hug, "it's alright."
"Why was I so stupid?" Rachel asked as she wrapped her arms tight around Janet. There were sniffles coming from the woman who was emotional not only from being slightly drunk but also from having the mother who abandoned her at a crucial age and then re-find her be vile to her.
"You're not stupid Rach...you're far from it," Janet rubbed her back and pulled away to look at her, "oh Rachel," Janet stroked her cheek again and dried away tears that were falling down her cheeks, "don't listen to anything that woman says about you. Do you want me to call your sister?"
"No," Rachel shook her head and dried her eyes, "all she'll say is she warned me and that I was stupid to give her another chance. As I was, wasn't I Janet?! I was stupid! I was an idiot, I let her in when I knew I shouldn't have!" Rachel's voice was rising and Janet had to use her hand to signal for her to be quiet, "I let her back in and she just shit on me!" Rachel pulled at her hair and made a frustrated scream.
"Rachel, Rachel, calm down!" Janet pulled her hands away from her hair and rubbed her back comfortingly, "it's ok," she kissed her on the cheek and pushed her head down to her chest, "you need to calm down."
"But I am calm Janet this is me fucking calm!" Rachel shouted and Janet felt she just had to pull her closer into her, "she used to say, 'you Rachel Bailey are doing my fucking nut in' or 'Go find your sister and ask her to deal with you as you're a pain in the arse' and I still gave her a second chance Janet even after everything and she just shits on me."
"I know, I know," Janet tapped her arm comfortingly, then she rubbed her hand up and down Rachel's arm to comfort her, "I need to make you a hot drink. So just stay there and don't move."
As Janet explained to her mum what had happened in the pub and filled her in a little bit of Rachel's relationship with her mother, Rachel sat back on the sofa and twirled a brown lock around her finger. The other hand had her phone in and she was scrolling through her messages before clicking her sister's name.
Why didn't I listen to you? Xx
Rachel pressed send but she had that feeling of regret in her stomach or maybe it was the alcohol doing twists and tumbles in her stomach either way she was feeling sick. Janet came through with a cup of hot chocolate for Rachel and she placed it on the coffee table in front of her, "you feeling sick?" Janet asked with a motherly tone she couldn't help but notice the way Rachel was twirling with her hair.
Rachel was about to speak when she heard her phone vibrate, "ahh shit I texted our Alison," Rachel debated whether to answer it, "Janet can you answer it?" Rachel passed the vibrating phone to her best friend and looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Alright," Janet pressed the green answer button and put the phone to her ear, "hi Alison it's Janet...yeah Rachel's gone to the toilet," Janet lied, "she had a bit of a row with your mum well your mum started on her but...no she's fine Alison. No! Don't come here it's absolutely fine she's with me and I'm looking after her...she'll phone you tomorrow yep I'll make sure she does," Janet cut the call off and then breathed out, "I can see why you don't tell her things like you tell me...she's a bit-"
"Over-protective, maternal," Rachel then closed her eyes and two tears dropped off her eyelashes, "everything our mother wasn't."
"Do you want to sleep in with me tonight?" Janet offered as she had a feeling Rachel would be tossing and turning all night and if she was to do that she'd prefer to be with her whilst she had trouble sleeping, "it's either down here or upstairs with me."
"Only if I can have the side that is closest to the bedside table," Rachel had never really slept on a side before despite living on her own for years she chose to have her bed by the wall purely so she wouldn't "fall out". It stemmed from sleeping in with her sister and brother at the age of four she'd always be in the middle, whilst Alison would be on the end and Dom would be by the wall. So naturally the brunette still had that childish fear of falling out. Rachel justified her reasons of wanting to be by the bedside table but she looked confused when Janet started laughing, "why are you laughing at me?"
"You just reminded me of something Taisie used to be frightened of when she was younger. And falling out of bed was something she used to be scared about if we ever stayed somewhere, where the beds weren't near the wall," Janet sat down next to her friend on the sofa and leant her head against the back of it, "make sure you drink that hot chocolate."
"Yes 'mother'," Rachel gently kicked Janet with her foot before laughing, "thank you for stepping in... I mean telling my mum to go."
"Yeah well, I wasn't going to have her talk to you like that Rachel...she spoke to you like utter shit and I wasn't going to have that, trust me kids can drive you mad but just the way that she spoke to you...it was awful," Janet squeezed Rachel's hand as a sign of reassurance.
Janet walked into her bedroom and found Rachel already asleep. At the side that had the bedside table, the blonde detective walked around the bed and pulled back the duvet cover. Rachel jumped awake when she felt the temperature change, "Janet," Rachel switched on the bedside light and turned around to face her best friend, "do you think I'm...do you think I'm like my mum?"
"When it comes to your mum Rachel I only know her from what you've told me...which I think in my opinion no... but you're the only one really who can answer that," Janet saw the swimming of tears in Rachel's big brown eyes. She reached her hand over and pushed hair out of Rachel's eyes, "just remember Rach no matter how much of your mum and dad runs in you, you are also your own person and you can change your future, just because your dad fucked up and just because your mum was vile to you don't let that affect your future in MIT."
"Thank you," Rachel squeezed Janet's hand and then reached over to switch the light off, "also Janet," Rachel spoke during a yawn, "thank you for letting me sleep on this side."
"Wouldn't want you falling out of bed now would I?" Janet stayed facing Rachel and she waited until she could feel breathing, "night Sherlock."