Here's the thing about dining with your significant other's family: you never know what to expect. You may have met them on several occasions prior to this, but this is on their turf. This is where you're vulnerable and completely unprotected. So it really wasn't weird that Blaine was freaking out. Sure, he was confident and could pull off any social event with a charming smile and some dapperness, but this was Kurt's family. This was the ridiculously tall and right out terrifying quarterback stepbrother, this was the protective stepmother who had sacrificed her honeymoon to ensure Kurt's safety, but more importantly: this was Burt freaking Hummel.
Kurt had told the story about his father pushing Karofsky up against the wall during wedding dance practice so many times Blaine had lost count, and while it obviously made Kurt proud to have his father defending him like that, it made Blaine nervous as hell. Because let's face it, he had not made a good first impression. The first proper conversation he had ever had with Burt had been about sex, for crying out loud, and about Kurt losing his virginity to some stranger while drunk if Burt didn't have "the talk" with him. Blaine had then managed to end up in Kurt's bed. Hung over. With Burt walking in on them.
Realsmooth,Blaine, he thought to himself as he drove past the sign that directed him towards Lima. Greatwaytomakeyourboyfriend'sfatherloveyou.
When he reached the Hummel/Hudson household and pulled up in the driveway he glanced up at what he knew to be Kurt's window. He could see shadows moving over the ceiling and just the thought of Kurt, his Kurt, being inside that room, made his heart flutter slightly. He immediately pulled himself together when he realized that he was on the verge of giggling. He was not a little schoolgirl with a crush; he was a dapper, charming prep school boy who was going to make an entire family fall in love with him.
If only he could stop his hands from shaking.
He could hear the sound of the doorbell echo throughout the house the moment he pressed it. In only a few seconds someone was making their way down the stairs, the door opened, and sweet hell Blaine had done a good job claiming this boy for his own because if he hadn't someone else would have.
His boyfriend was dressed in grey jeans, not deliciously skin tight like he usually preferred, but more like beautifully comfortable in a way that made Blaine appreciate his appearance even more. The purple, long sleeved cotton shirt clung to his upper body and Blaine's breath hitched in his throat because he could see a stripe of porcelain skin where the hem of the shirt didn't really manage to meet the pants and yes, this was going to be a torturously long night.
"Hi!" said Kurt, a bit out of breath from running down the stairs. "Come inside and kiss me."
Blaine laughed, loving the fact that Kurt was just as mad about him that he was about Kurt. He had absolutely no problem with stepping inside and wrapping his arms around the slim boy's waist, pressing a light kiss to his lips.
"I've missed you", he said, noticing the sparkle in the blue eyes as he pulled away from the loving embrace.
"I've missed you too. I can't say Finn is too thrilled about this though."
"How come?" said Blaine while he removed his jacket. "I was under the impression he actually liked me."
"Oh, he does, he does! But Carole didn't allow him to invite Quinn."
"Why not?"
Kurt stepped closer and Blaine got a feeling he didn't want the rest of the house to hear their conversation.
"Dad considers this some sort of bonding time. He wants to know what you're all about and what you…" He blushed. "What you want from me."
"Lovely."
"Hey now", said Kurt and laughed", you'll get through this with extra credit if I know you right." He grabbed his boyfriend's hand. "Come on, let's go inside."
When they entered the living room, Burt was seated on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in his lap. Carole was in the middle of forcing it from him but paused when Kurt cleared his throat. A smile spread across her face.
"Blaine! It's so nice to see you. Kurt has been going on and on about how I'm not allowed to mess up dinner."
"You couldn't even if you tried", said Burt and got up from the couch, nearly knocking over the bowl of popcorn.
"That's because I taught her how to cook", said Kurt sweetly. "Say hi to Blaine, dad."
Blaine felt his entire body tense up. Don'tsayanythingstupid,don'tdoanythingstupid,don'ttrip,don'tstutter,pleaseGod;don'tmakemelooklikeanidiotinfrontofmyboyfriend'sintimidatingfather!
He extended his hand to the older man and made sure to smile the smile that Kurt claimed could melt icebergs.
"It's great to meet you again, sir."
"The pleasure is mine", answered Burt and took the Warbler's hand in a terrifyingly tight grip. "So", he continued casually", dating my son, are you?"
"Dad!"
"It was just a question! Jesus, Kurt, I'm just trying to get the hang of this."
"You don't have to interrogate him!"
"Just get in the kitchen", smiled Carole. "I've made meatloaf and you don't want to eat it cold".
Kurt moved his hand from Blaine's own hand to his upper arm, grabbing his bicep and pulling him towards the kitchen. Blaine couldn't quite help the goose bumps that erupted over his entire body. The love he felt for this boy went beyond words, and he was going to do everything in his power to prove to Burt that he was worthy of him.
"Finn!" called Carole. "Dinner!"
A door slammed shut somewhere and hurried footsteps made their way down the stairs. About five second later something akin to a whirlwind emerged in the kitchen.
"Hey Kurt, hey Blaine, what's for dinner?"
"No, please, don't be civil or anything, your empty stomach fully excuses your poor behaviour", said Kurt and tried to hide his smile.
"Don't be like that, I'm starving! Coach Beiste is giving us hell right now, I just really need to eat."
"How's the football team doing?" asked Blaine, who felt like he needed to include himself in the conversation. "Last thing I heard you did Thriller."
"That was a while ago." Finn actually sounded sad, and Blaine realized that this was a boy who really cared about his team. "Things are okay, I suppose, but we're not winning any games."
By now they were all seated at the table, Blaine next to Kurt and Finn placed uncomfortably between the two adults.
"You're into football, Blaine?" asked Burt and literally covered his plate with food.
"I don't mind watching it", answered Blaine and nodded his thanks to Carole when she put food on his plate too. "But I could never play. I'm too short", he added with a shy smile.
"I'm glad Santana's not here", muttered Kurt", she would've come up with some size related joke."
"That's really inappropriate", said Carole but laughed nonetheless. Blaine had quickly come to the realization that this woman was an amazing mother. She was determined but fair, she knew when to let loose a little and joke around with her kids and still manage to raise them responsibly. He envied Kurt. His own childhood had been great, sure, he knew that he was loved. But his parents had never had that relaxed attitude, they were too strict for his liking, and while they fully accepted his flaws he was never supposed to show them, the same way they never showed theirs.
"This is delicious, Carole", said Burt, his moth full of food. While Carole threw him a disapproving look for not swallowing before speaking, it was still obvious that she loved him. Blaine couldn't remember the last time his parents had looked at each other like that.
He suddenly felt a hand squeeze his thigh under the table.
"Hey", said Kurt softly to avoid his family eavesdropping. "You alright?"
"Fine", Blaine answered. "Just thinking about how much I'd like to be a part of this family."
Kurt tipped his head to the side and have him a loving look.
"You will be. Some day." His hand moved to Blaine's. Blaine smiled. Yep.Yep,I'mtotallymarryingthisboysomeday.
"You have some sauce on your lip", said Blaine in a low voice", and as much as I'd love to lick it off I don't think your father would approve."
A smirk appeared on Kurt's face as he gently wiped his mouth with his napkin.
Come on, Blaine, think dapper thoughts.
"So what are you guys working on right now?"
It took Blaine a few moments to realize that Finn's question had been aimed at him.
"Oh, you mean the Warblers?" he asked just to make sure he hadn't misunderstood. "The usual. Anything that can be done a cappella, really. But since you guys made it to Nationals we don't really feel any pressure, we're just going to try something new. We have soloist auditions coming up in a week or so."
"Solo?" Kurt sounded shocked. "But you're the soloist."
"Not for this number. We're doing a Mika song." Blaine smiled. "It's not in my vocal range so I might as well give someone else the opportunity."
Carole, who had been deeply concentrated on her food, now looked up like she had suddenly recalled something very important.
"Oh, I remember the time Kurt told me he had met a boy named Blaine who could sing like an angel."
"Carole!" shrieked Kurt and blushed a deep shade of crimson while Finn and Burt choked on their food. "Don't say things like that!"
Blaine's heart did a weird little flip in his chest, a flip that would have worried him a year ago but that he was used to now.
"That's very sweet", he said and added: "And don't be embarrassed. I'm sure David and Wes could tell you a story or two about how I used to gush about your eyes.
Kurt's blush remained for nearly ten minutes. Blaine had no regrets.
The dinner proceeded quite smoothly after that. Except for Finn knocking over his glass of milk, there were no major incidents. Sure, Blaine managed to mention one of his and Kurt's sleepovers that Kurt had not told his family about and yes, for a moment Blaine was absolutely sure that Burt was going to stab him to death with his fork, but this be-dapper-and-charming plan actually worked pretty well.
It was nearly 8pm when they were all finished eating. Carole was now completely head over heels with Blaine and his proper manners, but Blaine was not yet sure if Burt liked him as much as he has hoped.
"Kurt, honey", said Carole", why don't you show Blaine into the living room while we clean up and prepare dessert?"
Blaine was just about to offer his assistance in cleaning up when Kurt grabbed his hand and dragged him out of his seat. Before he had time to react he was in the living room and Kurt was standing in front of him, beaming.
"So?" he said expectantly. "How do you think it's going so far?"
"I think", said Blaine and put his hands on Kurt's hips", that you are very lucky to have these people. And I think that Carole could be a powerful ally if Burt decides to hunt me down with a shotgun."
"He doesn't even own a shotgun, Blaine. Stop listening to Finn, he's all lies."
The slender, blue-eyed boy put his arms around Blaine's neck and gently played with one of his curls.
"It's funny", he said. "I always imagined I'd fall for someone like Finn."
"Should I worry?" said Blaine, but smiled.
"No need. He's not my type." A soft peck was placed on Blaine's lips. "You are. I prefer well dressed, curly haired boys to big, sweaty quarterbacks."
"Thank God, or I would have to kidnap you."
They both laughed and leaned their foreheads together.
"I wouldn't mind if you kidnapped me. And brought me to your house. And tied me permanently to your bed."
"Are you seducing me, Kurt Hummel?"
"Maybe."
You're killing me and I don't even care.
"What's for dessert?" asked Blaine after a fair amount of staring into the gorgeous eyes while looking like a lovesick fool.
"I actually have no idea. But Finn said that he thought I'd like it. I just hope it's not too sugary", he added with an adorable wrinkle of his nose. "That stuff goes right to my hips."
"Oh, please!" Blaine laughed. "You could eat anything and it wouldn't show. And even if it did…" He lowered his voice, gripped Kurt's hips even tighter and pulled him flush against his own body", it wouldn't matter. Because you'd still be beautiful. You always will be."
They leaned forward in the exact same moment and Blaine loved how they basically read each other's minds like that, but their lips had barely touched when a familiar voice said:
"You might want to lay low."
"Finn", said Kurt and gave that tired eye roll that Blaine adored. "We're barely even kissing."
"You should be careful though." Finn leaned against the doorframe. "I heard Burt talk earlier. If you", he pointed at Blaine", hurt him", he pointed at Kurt", your parents will probably never see you again."
"Oh my God, Finn", Kurt groaned and hid his blushing face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck. Blaine could only laugh; he knew what it was like to be protective of someone, and he could definitely imagine Burt on a hunting spree.
"I'll remember it", he said. "But just so you know, Finn, I really care about your brother."
"I kind of figured." Finn smiled. "And Burt can see it too, you know. Don't worry."
The two boys shared a look, and Finn placed his hand on Blaine's shoulder in an awkward but friendly pat. Blaine knew in that moment that everything was all right.
Fifteen minutes later the Hudson/Hummel family plus Blaine was once again seated at the table, and Blaine could feel the distinct smell of chocolate. Kurt seemed to have perked up at the smell too, and Blaine knew why: his boyfriend had a soft spot for chocolate.
"Rum chocolate soufflé?" said Kurt when the small bowl was placed in front of him. "Why, Carole, I didn't know you had it in you."
"I may have snuck into your room and stolen the recipe", said Carole with a smug grin. "It was actually Finn's suggestion."
"Don't you remember?" said Finn when Kurt gave him a questioning look. "What you said when you wanted to try out for kicker. Something about your body being like a rum choc-"
"You remember that?"
"Of course I do. It was the most insane thing I have ever heard."
"Sorry", said Blaine who felt like he had missed something. "Kicker?"
Burt made a noise and Kurt sent him a death glare over the table.
"It's not funny."
"I beg to differ", answered Burt. "The fact that you actually got out on that field in that uniform still astounds me. You were one hell of a kicker though."
"Wait. You mean you were actually a kicker? On the football team?"
"A good one too", added Burt, who looked both amused and proud, and pointed at Kurt with his spoon. "He won their first game in years."
"Are you serious?"
"Dead serious. I don't understand the soufflé thing, though."
"It's really nothing", said Kurt and the adorable blush once again creeped up over his delicate neck and spread over his cheeks. "I just- I needed some help to… warm up before the game and I told Finn that my body is like a rum chocolate soufflé. That if I don't warm it up properly it doesn't rise."
Needless to say, Blaine's thoughts cartwheeled down into the gutter after that. Youcan'tjustsaythingslikethat,Kurt,myimaginationisrunningwild.
"So what did you do?" he asked as he put another spoon of delicious soufflé in his mouth. "To warm up, I mean."
"That's really irrelevant right now."
Finn cleared his throat and said something under his breath that sounded an awful lot like: "The Single Ladies dance."
"I'm sorry", said Blaine because surely he must have misheard? "The what?"
"It's irrelevant", claimed Kurt. "Dad, how's the shop going?"
Burt understood and quickly started to explain how he needed to hire more personnel, but Finn caught Blaine's eye and mouthed: "I'll show you a video". Blaine made a mental note to always stay on good terms with the quarterback.
The rest of the evening was comfortably quiet. They ate their dessert; Burt cracked a few jokes that had Kurt rolling his eyes and both Finn and Blaine roaring with laughter. By ten o'clock Blaine checked his watch and realized he should be going home, and while Kurt had made it clear that he didn't want Blaine to leave, he knew that his mom wanted him home by a reasonable hour.
"I should get going", he said. "No, really", he added when Carole opened her mouth to object. "I love being here but my mom wants me home." He rose from his chair and gently placed his hand on Kurt's shoulder. "It's been lovely."
"I'll follow you to the car", said Kurt and stood up. To everyone's surprise, so did Burt.
"Mind if I talk to Blaine for a minute, Kurt?"
Kurt threw his dad a look, but seemed to realize that resistance would be futile, and so he placed a light kiss on Blaine's cheek and said: "I'll be in the living room. Come on, Finn."
"Oh no. I want to see this."
"I said comeon."
Once Finn, Kurt and Carole had left the kitchen Burt gestured towards the chair that Blaine had been sitting in for the main part of the evening.
"No need to stand up", said the older man who, true to his usual appearance, was wearing a baseball cap. "I just want to talk to you."
Blaine carefully sat own, not quite sure how to tackle this. He was good at concealing his anxiety, but when it came down to it he just wanted acceptance from this man, he needed his boyfriend's dad to know how much he cared about that innocent countertenor that was probably freaking out in the living room right now.
"Sir-" said Blaine and tried to come up with something that would sound appropriate for the situation, but Burt interrupted him.
"Hey, kid, stop with the sir thing. Call me Burt. We're there, we've reached that point."
Blaine smiled.
"Alright, Burt. I want you to know that I really, really care about your son. I am crazy about him, to the point where it's gotten ridiculous."
"I know that. It's pretty obvious, if you don't mind me saying. Just…" Burt fiddled with the spoon he had used to eat his soufflé. "I'm not going to give you the if-you-hurt-him speech. I'm sure Finn's already given it to you. I just want you to know, to realize, that Kurt is… He's innocent, you know? His feelings for you are obvious, as are yours for him, but I don't want this relationship of yours to just be a fling, you understand me? Kurt takes this seriously."
"I assure you, sir-"
"Burt."
"Sorry. I promise you, Burt, that I intend to keep him for as long as I can. I am going to do everything I can to keep him safe as long as he'll have me. And I… I am so, so in love with your son, Burt."
Burt smiled.
"I know, Blaine." He threw the clock on the wall a look. "You should get going."
"I should. Thank you for having me tonight, I enjoyed it."
"Any time, kid."
When Blaine stepped out on the porch five minutes later he could feel the tension disappear from his body. The dinner had gone well, more than well, but he would be lying if he said he hadn't been nervous as hell.
"I think Carole wants to marry you", said Kurt with a smile when they reached Blaine's car. "I'm gonna have to hold on to you."
"I'm all yours. And as much as I like Carole, your dad's opinion means a lot more-"
"Hey." Kurt placed a finger over his lips. "My father adores you. He's just not showing it because as far as he knows you will only keep your hands off me if he's being intimidating. What did he say to you, anyway?"
"Well…" Blaine unlocked the car and opened the driver's door. "He told me not to throw this away. That you're innocent."
"I'm not innoc-"
"Actually you kind of are." Blaine ignored the sulky expression on the beautiful face. "And don't take that as an insult. I love that you're innocent. And I love what we have because it's special, and I'm not throwing it away. Tell him that he doesn't have to worry."
Kurt tipped his head to the side.
"You were really worried about tonight, weren't you?"
"Terrified. Turned out I didn't have to be."
"Well, like I said, dad loves you, he just needs to get used to the fact that I'm not twelve anymore."
He raised his hand to Blaine's cheek and swiped his thumb across his cheek.
"Drive safe. I've had enough of hospitals."
"Don't worry."