The Paper I Know

The smell of coffee, like many scents, invokes memories. For Maggie it brought very pleasant memories of taking care of her sisters early in the morning, and more recently Sumerigawa Sensei. This morning Maggie began her day dark and early with a cup of black coffee. She took it to her closet with a new book. She'd bought it that morning so it was fresh and ripe.

It would be another couple of hours before anyone else would wake up. The light in her closet was dim and as she read she became tired. The coffee's aroma soothed her so, and the gentle humming of electricity flowing into the apartment sang her to sleep with the book in hand.

She dreamed about what was in her book, a lovely story of a boy and girl eating a picnic after a hard week at school, at least that's as far as she'd gotten before she fell asleep. In her dream she was sitting in the sun with her older sister Michelle and her younger sister Anita. In her dream she was at eye level with them both and smiling to boot.

A knock on the closet door startled her. She blinked a few times before she opened the door to see Nenene standing over her. Maggie liked the feeling of looking up to someone.

"Hey, Good morning Maggie."

"Good morning sensei. Is it time for me to make breakfast?"

"Don't bother yourself. Anita is already at school. God knows what Michelle is doing today. Either way it's just you and me today and I've already eaten. Would you like the rest of the oatmeal?"

Maggie pulled herself out of the closet and watched Nenene put the last of the stray books on the shelf. Everything seemed to be in its place.

"You straightened up?" Maggie pondered as she walked to the kitchen.

"Well you weren't up."

Maggie blushed, "I'm sorry."

"It's not a big deal, sometimes it feels good to do the housework, and besides, you've been doing it for so long I was worried I'd forgotten how." Maggie began eating the oatmeal out of the pot. It was something she didn't often get to eat. Though flavorless, she relished in the texture. "You haven't gotten out much have you?" Nenene said sitting down next to her.

"Not really." Maggie quickly filled her mouth with oatmeal so she wouldn't have to say anything more.

"I'm thinking you should spend the day out of the house. It'll be good for you to get some sun."

"I don't know…where I could go."

"Look, to be perfectly honest, the part I'm writing is something I really need to be alone to write. So if you want my new book to come out more quickly, it'll help me out a lot if your not here."

Nenene put some money on the counter. "Go buy yourself something nice, just wait a while before you come back ok. I really appreciate it."

Maggie followed Nenene's steps as she walked up to her office. She heard the door close behind Nenene. Looking back at the money then up to the office Maggie said rather loudly to herself, "Ok."

Soon after Maggie left, she found herself wandering the streets. She looked at the money in her hand and first thought she should get a new book. It wasn't often that she got the chance to buy books. Michelle had a tendency to spend their money before Maggie got the chance to make her selections. Fortunately they had very similar taste. Lately Michelle had been spending a lot of time away and less money had been missing.

Since money wasn't quite as scant and there would be money for books later she could spend this money on something else. What else could she buy though? Suddenly she bumped into someone whose expression turned more frightened by her size than agitated. Maggie stopped for a moment to apologize, but the boy, who was wearing a student's uniform, had made off before Maggie had the chance.

Maggie began to forget about the incident and continued to think of things she could do with the money. Then she remembered her book. She looked at it with longing, curious about what she had missed when she fell asleep. Ultimately, she just wanted to finish her book. The best place to do that would be at park.

The park was close, and for Maggie, was a pleasant quiet place. The urban setting didn't always please her. The fewer people there were around, the more comfortable she felt. She was surprised to find the park as empty as it was on such a nice day. The first order of business was to find a tall tree with large heavy branches so she could sit in the shade.

As her search went on, she found few trees to her satisfaction. However, as she passed the tables where people played board games, she noticed a familiar head of wavy blonde hair. Michelle was sitting alone at a chessboard. There were a few of the white pieces missing. Maggie walked around the table and sat across from her. Michelle, who seemed to have been in somewhat of a sullen daze, snapped to her usual pleasantness.

"Ah, Maggie, what are you doing here?"

"I came to read in the park. What are you doing here?"

"I've been waiting for someone to come play chess with me." Michelle picked up the black queen and tapped it on the board. "I read "Through the Looking Glass" again, and I remembered how much fun chess was. It doesn't seem like anyone around here wants to play though."

"You're missing pieces anyway." Maggie offered.

"So it seems. What should we do then?"

Maggie thought for a minute and then came to a brilliant conclusion. She took a few pieces of paper from her sleeve and crafted the missing pieces. Michelle glowed as she watched Maggie make the pieces.

"Oh, Maggie, you're so clever sometimes." Maggie blushed with a small smile forming. Michelle picked up one of the knights and felt its delicate curves. "You're really talented with this sort of thing Maggie."

"Thank you." Maggie would have said more, but her inborn modesty wouldn't let her. Michelle didn't need to tell her she thought she was talented. Maggie already knew that she felt that way.

Maggie moved a pawn forward to begin the game. They played carefully and skillfully. While they played, they joked and discussed books. The gentle tapping of the pieces as they were diligently moved across the board, gave Maggie a calm feeling and made her forget a little about the book she was going to finish reading. A very little.

Soon Maggie had forked Michelle's Queen and soon after the game was hers much to Michelle's dismay. She pinched her cheek and pulled while dropping forward her king in front of Maggie's rook.

"Darn, maybe I shouldn't have chosen chess. I'm much better at Go." She wasn't really disappointed, but she still wished she could have won.

"I beat you in Go last month and you said you should probably play something else."

Michelle laughed, "Well then, maybe I should quit playing board games all together." Then she stood up taking hold of her bag. Maggie looked up at her older sister with her golden locks shining brighter than a camera flash. The photograph of course would be beautiful for Michelle had such delicate, elegant features. Something Maggie believed she lacked, and so admired in Michelle.

"Maggie dear, I'll let you get back to what you were doing…What were you doing?" she asked with a quiet laughter.

"Sensei needed alone time. So she gave me money to go do something."

Michelle's appearance suddenly turned charged. "Ah, well, we should spend that money quickly. As your older sister, I must press that we spend it before it depreciates."

"I don't know what to buy though."

"I can certainly help in that area. We'll go to the nearest bookstore. I know some new releases and we'll both need a copy. Where is the money?"

Maggie dug into her pocket, but she couldn't feel it anywhere. She turned her pockets inside out but it was gone. "I…I…I lost it." She dropped her head. The boy she ran into had taken it from her. That's why he had run off so quickly. Maggie was in such deep thought she hadn't even noticed.

Michelle's hopes dropped, but still she sympathized with her sister. "Don't worry. It wasn't much was it?" Maggie nodded. "Well, how much was it."

"A lot." Maggie sighed, Michelle did as well.

"At least we don't need the money right?" As soon as the words slipped out of Michelle's mouth her stomach interrupted to refute the point.

"I'm hungry too." Maggie could feel her stomach rumble, but hers was far less noisy. She stood up now towering over Michelle. "What should we do sis?"

"We'll go home to eat then."

"But…Sensei. She needs her privacy."

"Ah, hmmmm." Michelle closed her eyes and began rubbing her chin. Then she exploded with a revelation. "Anita! She has money."

"Should we really bother her?"

"We're sisters, it won't be a bother." Michelle began heading out of the park, so Maggie followed slowly behind her.

"What are you two doing here?" Anita asked in a rather upset tone.

"Ah, Maggie and I are hungry. We need money." Michelle grinned as best she could, getting closer and closer to Anita's face. She was abruptly pushed away by Anita's foot.

"Go home. I need my money today. I'm getting some new book releases for us."

"Oh, we were going to do the same thing." Michelle offered.

"So you weren't going to eat, and you were going to buy multiple copies too I bet. We're supposed to share a single copy to save money." Anita too had begun to read as her sisters did, however she still seemed more practical about spending money on books than either of her sisters, a strange responsibility for the youngest sibling.

Maggie tried to interrupt, but Michelle wouldn't allow it. "I know the rules Anita, but if we have many copies, then we can compare as we read."

"We can compare after were done."

"But some of us read slower than others."

"What was that?"

"Anita," Maggie finally worked in. "Sensei doesn't want any one home right now. We can't go home yet."

"Then why didn't you take money with you?"

"Sensei gave me money, but it was stolen."

Anita scoffed, "Maggie, you need to be more responsible." Maggie blushed with embarrassment. Sometimes Anita knew just what to say to bring her down. Maggie knew she didn't mean any harm, but it didn't hurt any less.

"But, we're really hungry" Michelle pleaded at Anita's feet.

"I said no, now go home. Nenene will have to deal with you."

Maggie looked down the hall as the two of them argued. The students were quickly returning to classes. Then she saw him. It was the boy that had bumped into her. All she could think to do was point.

Michelle took notice first. "Maggie, what's wrong?"

"That boy ran into me right before I lost the money."

Anita, already somewhat upset with Michelle, took off after him. The unsuspecting boy, seeing Maggie again, and a fierce looking Anita approaching quickly ran away with out a second thought. Anita continued her pursuit, while Michelle chased her. "Anita dear wait." She yelled drawing attention from all the classrooms.

So Maggie, too passive about the whole to do anything, was alone again, and hungry, and tired. She looked down at the book she had started that morning. "And I still have you to finish." She left the school and headed home, hoping that Nenene would be finished with her alone time by now.

Maggie unlocked the door and entered quietly. Bending down the great distance of her body she pulled off her shoes and walked into the apartment hoping Nenene would still be in her office. If she could just get some food from the kitchen, she could take it to the park and enjoy her book therefore salvaging something from the day.

At first she didn't see or hear Nenene anywhere. So she stepped more boldly into the living room and found Nenene hugging and caressing a pillow. Maggie stopped, stunned for a moment, then she watched Nenene press her lips gently upon it.

Maggie couldn't help, but exclaim, "Sensei!" to which Nenene threw the pillow to the side in fright and turned instead with anger.

"Maggie, what are you doing here? I said not to come back!" Maggie fell back and landed hard on the floor. She just shook her head. No words would come out. Slowly Nenene's fury subsided. The accusing finger she had thrust in Maggie's direction dropped. She straightened her glasses and stepped over to Maggie with a sigh. "Oh, I'm sorry Maggie. I didn't mean to get angry. You've just caught me at a weird moment. I thought you'd be gone longer." Maggie looked up at Nenene and could see the sincerity of the apology.

As Nenene helped Maggie to her feet, Maggie tried to explain herself. "I shouldn't have come in quietly. I should have let you know I came home."

"Hey, don't blame yourself for something like that. I should have told you how long I needed." They both sat down on the couch, Nenene rubbed Maggie's back in an attempt to calm her a little. Both of their hearts were pumping quickly still. "I guess I've got some explaining to do myself."

"You don't have to Sensei…"

"No, it's all right. Maggie, I'm writing the blossoming of the romance in my novel. I've been trying to get into that mood, but I can't seem to do that." Neither of them said anything for a while, then Nenene started again. "The last time I did this sort of thing, I was in such a frenzy I spent my first kiss on Yomiko. It worked though."

There was another pause. Maggie this time broke it. "I know what book that was for. I remember it well."

"Then you understand why I'm so frustrated." Again it was quiet. Maggie then touched her virgin lips softly, remembering the words from Nenene's novel. 'The first lips encountered, as soft as steam freshly risen from waters hot with the heat of passion.' It made Maggie blush just to think about it. The way she felt the first time she read it hadn't left her. She still remembered that unbelievable loneliness she felt because all she could do was read the fiction of romance.

The blush didn't go without notice. Nenene was worried she'd said something upsetting to Maggie, but she couldn't think of what. "What's wrong Maggie?"

Maggie didn't say anything. She simply whimpered helplessly. Then Nenene's writer's intuition picked up on the clues. The blushing, the expression, the touching of the lips, "You haven't been kissed before have you?"

Maggie gasped a little in her sob. Nenene kneeled down in front of her and pulled Maggie's hands from her face. "Hey, it's ok. I've felt that way before too, that lonely feeling that you'll never experience real love. But you've got your sisters, and me, and Yomiko. After what we all went through together, how could we not love you?"

"It's not the same." Maggie remarked.

"You mean, romance." Maggie nodded. All her life, being as awkwardly tall as she was, she always felt like no one would want to be with her. It felt hopeless. Just one kiss would make the difference. To know that someone felt so much for her that it would warrant a kiss, that was all she needed. Through her tears she saw Nenene stand up. Maggie looked up at her and tried to speak those words to explain how she felt, but they escaped her.

"Maggie. Let me kiss you." Nenene offered. This surprised Maggie. She hadn't thought like that before. She never imagined Nenene did either. Why now? "Is that all right Maggie?"

She wasn't quite sure. "Shouldn't we be kissing boys?" Maggie asked still puzzled by the request.

"It's not a rule or anything. This will let you know what it feels like without it being wasted, and it will set me straight for my writing." Maggie nodded, still unsure of whether it was a good idea or not.

Nenene leaned in closer. When her nose was no farther than an inch away from Maggie's, Maggie closed her eyes and clenched her teeth, gripping the edge of the couch as if she were worried she would fall.

"Maggie, you're going to have to relax." She sat down and held Maggie's hands, Maggie continued to look forward still not sure of what to expect. "Look at me, and relax. You trust me."

She turned and faced Nenene who was smiling softly. The air of tension between them disappeared and Maggie gave her trust to Nenene. She touched Maggie's face delicately and let her lips fall on Maggie's. The stillness made their hearts beat faster, and the touch let them beat in time. With slight pressure their lips pulled together firmly. When it was over, it wasn't. It still lingered like drops of dew hanging on leaves in the morning. They looked at each other for a minute saying nothing with words.

"Thank you Sensei." Maggie said finally.

"Thank you Maggie." Nenene said as she stood up. "That's what I've been searching for all day." She headed up stairs for her office. "I'll be working if you need me…you've no idea how much you've helped."

She disappeared up the steps and Maggie lay back on the couch, savoring the feeling. Catching sight of her book she picked it up and held it close. For the moment, reading wouldn't do, but it was nice to have something to hug.

Maggie began to prepare dinner later than usual. She wasn't quite sure what to make. She pulled out some pots and pans to get ready. The clatter of which attracted Nenene's attention. She stepped down from her office to go talk to Maggie.

"Hey, put those back for now. It's a special day. Let's eat out." Maggie smiled and nodded putting back the things she'd gotten out.

The door then opened and Michelle and Anita arrived exhausted.

"I'm Home." Anita yelled. "Maggie, what's for dinner?" Anita slumped on the couch, looking up at the ceiling.

"Sensei is taking us out to eat." Anita's spirit suddenly revived

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know," Nenene said while walking over to Michelle who was pulling books out of her shopping bag. "But I'll be sure they have a kids menu for you." To which Anita huffed and lay out on the couch.

Nenene stood over Michelle, who seemed unaware of her presence. "Somewhere else." Michelle raised her head from confusion. "These can't go here. Take them out somewhere else."

"Of course. We have room in front of the TV."

"I don't want anymore books lying around. Put them on a shelf or in your room." Michelle pinched her cheek and carried the books off.

Maggie observed all of this with great amusement. She took the last of the coffee Nenene had made for the after noon as well as her book and sat down in front of the sprawled out Anita.

Anita sat up and read over her shoulder. "I got your money back Maggie, but we spent it for you."

"On books?" She didn't think she had to ask.

"No, even though we did get a lot. We got you this instead." Anita pulled a pewter sculpture out of her pocket and put it on the table in front of them. It was a tall looking girl sitting and looking up, perhaps at the warm sun. "It's really pretty," Anita remarked "It reminded me of you."

Maggie took the sculpture and held it close. "Thank you Anita."

"You deserve it Maggie."