"A KAMEN RIDER DAYS CHRISTMAS"
Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the streets, snow was falling down and covered the roads in white sheets. One particular house was were are a certain hero and his maiden slept, they weren't the most likely of couples but they did their best. Tonight was like any other night for them at first, but after midnight a certain magical being visited them to spread his word.
BANG!
Ryuji's eyes shot opened was he sat up from the bed, "A gunshot?!" Panic gripped his heart. There was no mistake, that was definitely a gunshot. Kotonoha was in the other room, and he had no way of knowing what was going on. Reacting fast, he jumped from the bed and grabbed his belt. He ran to where he heard the gunshot: the living room.
"Alright, whoever is there, I have two swords and I'm not afraid to use them!" Ryuji threatened. What he saw shocked him. There was his sister, Kat, sitting in an armchair with a smoking pistol in hand. But that wasn't what shocked him. The sight that did was the dead Santa lying on the floor with a gunshot wound between his eyes, a pool of blood slowly forming around the body.
"OK, I know this looks bad, but if you'll let me explain-" started Kat, only to be interrupted by Ryuji.
"What the Hell, Kat!?" he snapped, eyes wide with shock.
"Look, if you'll let me explain-"
"What did you do!?"
"Would you shut up and let me explain!?" she glared.
"Yes, Kat! I would love to know why you shot and killed Santa Claus!" Ryuji yelled sarcastically, gesturing to the dead man in red.
"He startled me."
He stared at his sister stupidly. "He startled you?"
"He. Startled. Me," Kat emphasised.
"Oh, he did. Then I guess he should apologize," Ryuji said dryly.
"Well, that's gonna be pretty hard to do cuz, you know, I shot him," Kat reminded him.
"So, now what are we going to do?" Ryuji asked, folding his arms, "It's Christmas Eve and Santa's dead! What are we supposed to tell all the kids, huh? 'Oh sorry boys and girls, Christmas is canceled forever because Santa Claus got shot in the fucking face!'"
"Hmm..." Kat contemplated, her eyes closed as she was deep in thought. Opening them, she sighed as she stood up. "Well, it's up to me to save Christmas."
"Jesus Christ..." Ryuji facepalmed.
"Yep, no other options," she continued, removing the coat from the sack of fat that was once Father Christmas.
"How about any other options? Any at all?!" Ryuji practically begged.
"There's no use trying to put the brakes on this," Kat said, adjusting the coat around her as she didn't seem to mind the blood stains, "It's so going down."
Ryuji glared at her with furrowed eyebrows. "You planned this," he accused.
"You think I planned this?"
"You planned this! I know you did!"
"Jezz little, brother. Do you really not trust me?" Kat asked, with an almost hurt look on her face.
"Hell no! Who else would be crazy enough to do this shit?"
As soon as he said that, the door swung open.
"Ryuji-kun! I heard a noise! What happened!?" Kotonoha cried and then she saw the body. "IS THAT SANTA CLAUS!?"
"Oh hi there, Koto-chan," Ryuji said, still cheesed off, "Guess what? Kat killed Santa Claus!"
"WHY!?"
"He startled her."
"...What?"
"And now we must save Christmas!" Kat pumped her fist, pimped up in Santa's coat as she put on his hat.
"You planned this, didn't you?" Kotonoha asked accusingly.
"Why does everyone keep thinking that?" Kat demanded.
"I'm just glad Kokoro is sleeping over at her friend's house tonight," Kotonoha whispered as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Her sister would probably be very sad to find the corpse of St. Nick in the living room. The only problem now is how to explain all of this to her.
Then Rose entered the living room, wearing a sexy elf costume, "Kitty-Kat, the sleigh has been secured! Unfortunately Vixen died, and..." Rose noticed Kotonoha and Ryuji standing there, both staring at her. "Oh...Merry Christmas."
Kat grinned, "You know, I'm gonna need some more helpers and I have another sexy elf costume that would be perfect for Kotonoha. You wouldn't believe how cheap they were."
Ryuji sucked in his teeth.
"I stole them," Kat added, grinning wider.
"Kat...!"
"LET ME HAVE MY NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS MOMENT!" Kat shrieked loudly, her voice nearly shattering the windows.
The sleight flew through the air, carried by magic reindeer as Kotonoha, Ryuji and Rose rode on it with Kat laughing manically as she pulled the reins. Ryuji and Kotonoha were just there to prevent Kat from killing anyone else. With that, the deranged sociopath and her reluctant little helpers visited many houses that night. Until Kat got bored and kinda wandered off.
"MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Do you think we should've disposed the body first?" Kotonoha asked, after they had already reached Zimbabwe.
Meanwhile, Santa's body was still lying in the living room and flies were starting to gather around it.
A/N: Based on Team Four Star's Hellsing Christmas web animation. With help from Kamen Rider Chrome, whom Rose, Ryuji and Kat Hasuma and the Kamen Rider Days storyline belongs to.