FanFic Title: I Dare You To Lie
FanFic Description: This is about Emily's thoughts (etc) on the affair between Arvin Sloane Laura Bristow/Irina Derevko.
Author's Notes: First off I would like to apologize to the readers/JJ if I protray the characters differently then you would like/think they should be protrayed. Any and all feedback-positive or negative-is definately welcome.
Disclaimer: Alright these characters- Alias-belong to the god of TV shows, JJ Abrams. However, there are a few characters that he made up but I'm giving them history and creating/forming their personality.
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Absolutely none.

The bed shifts as he crawls into bed next to me. I can smell her on him, but I don't move. I don't let him know that I'm awake, or even aware that he wasn't at work like he had told me.

I have never lied to myself about whether or not my husband was a good man. I know who he is, whether I let on or not. I love him, and that's all that matters. If I die tomorrow, I know that I will have loved him as much as I can and have been the best wife to my abilities.

It's not the fact that he was sleeping with some other woman that bothers me, it's who he was doing it with. Arvin Sloane is not someone who can keep it in his pants, but that doesn't change my feelings for him. At first when I found out that he was having sex with other people, I was hurt. I felt so betrayed and alone, but I learned to accept and embrace that fact. If he could have his own lovers, than why couldn't I? Of course, I never went out in search of them. No, actually they found me, and in quite unexpected people as well.

The thing that I find hard-laying in bed next to him, her scent permeating my nostrils and assaulting my brain-was that it was her. This woman that I had grown to know and love, and who I trusted more than anyone in the world.

She betrayed me, and it stung.

I feel arms snake around my waist, and I smile. Leaning against the body behind me, I close my eyes. "You're home early." Lips brush against my neck, and that's when I realized-for the first time-who it was who was behind me. I jerk away, body trembling in pent up anger as well as unexpressed want.

"Emily? What's wrong?" Laura stands there in front of me, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Don't touch me." The coldness in my own voice surprises and even shocks me.

"What happened? Are you alright!" Her hand takes a hold of my arm, stroking it softly.

Before I know it, my other hand reaches out and strikes her cheek, leaving a red mark on her face. "I told you not to touch me!" Yanking my arm from her grip, I turn and storm out of the kitchen, followed closely by her.

"Emily, what happened! God, you can't just do this. Talk to me, please. I love you!"

I stop and twirl around to face her, the pain and betrayal showing clearly in my eyes. "Don't tell me you love me, Laura. You don't give a shit about me. When you love someone, you don't go and fuck their husband."

Something flashes across her eyes, but I'm too hurt to pay any attention to it. Her arm drops to her side, uncertain as to what she should do next. After a moments silence, she finally speaks up. "You're right, I never should have done it, but there are things.."

"Don't use that damn Rambaldi as your escape goat again, Laura. You've used him too many times." I turn away from her, the anger slowly fading and leaving just the ache of her actions, but I can't let her know. I need to remain strong, or else I know where this will end.

Sensing the lowering of my defenses, Laura turns me around and kisses me tenderly on the lips. I try to pull back, but I soon give in to the incredible feeling within. My arms wrap around her neck and I press up against her, our bodies rubbing together and molding into one.

I can feel her hand slip down the front of my pants, sliding down in my underwear and finding itself against my bare skin, a finger teasing the edge of my clit, causing me to moan softly in both lust and love. An inch of her goes inside me, now touching every spot of my inner self, and in turn causing it to moisten, allowing more and more of her finger to delve deep into me.

My hips move against her, in the dance that we have perfect so well. Being the wife of a spy, does get lonely, and we have found our comfort in one another. Rather than take on a male lover, I have taken her. Laura is the only woman that I desire, and the only woman who can completely disarm me.

Suddenly, my mind flashes to images-concucted of their own accord-of my husband fucking my lover. As a result, I stiffen and yank her hand out of my pants. "Get out of my house."

"Emily."

"GET OUT!"

I don't want to hear her excuse or to have her tell me that it was a mistake for her to sleep with Arvin. The knife has been slammed into my heart, and the ache that is left is deeper than any I have ever known in my life. Even more than what I felt after I learned of my husband's unfaithfulness with the other countless women.

He had his choice of whores and prostitutes, why must he take Laura! Why her! Why one of the only things in my life that I find joy in these days! Must I die of a broken heart every night as I lay in bed, awaiting the man I am married to, yet who-at times-is a complete stranger to me?

My emotions have become a mess of pain and joy, loneliness and love. I don't want to send her away, but just the physical contact between us is enough to tear down the wall around me that I have constructed up so perfectly. Just the scent of her perfume and the look of lust in her eyes shocks and dismantles me.

Before I can do something stupid that I will seriously regret later on, I turn and hurry up to the bedroom that I share with Arvin. I lock the door behind me, and fall on the bed, in tears.

Laura Bristow. I need to make love to her, yet I can't touch her. I won't let myself. I refuse to kiss her, to feel her soft skin under me, but above all, I refuse to give her the one thing that I know she wants. An orgasm. I want to, but I can't. She betrayed my trust and slept with my husband. That is something that I don't know if I can or will forgive. Now, and maybe forever.

Side Note: As of right now, I'm not sure if this will be a one parter, or if I will keep going with it. If the feedback is positive, I may post more.